Stricken Resolve (32 page)

“I didn’t know it would be this nerve
wracking,” I admit, quietly.

Nodding, he leans back over and places his
hot and sultry mouth next to my ear, shocking my greedy whore to
wake up and realize it’s him standing here. Now fully awake, she’s
ignited a renewed confidence in me.

“It’s just us up here. Forget about everyone
else. It’s just you and me,” he reassures in his sweet tone, his
hot breath washing over me in wanton need.

What the hell? Who gets turned on getting
married? Apparently me. I’m such an idiot. Correction, my pussy is
a greedy bitch and she just loves the hell outa some James dick.
She’s the idiot. I’m a normal woman. Okay, not normal, normal. But
close enough.

“Sweetheart, are you ready?” He asks,
retreating to stand next to me, both of his hands holding mine.

“Yes.”

The justice of the peace proceeds with his
ceremonial openings and greetings. I barely soak up a word, all I
can seem to do is focus on James, and he I. Us living in our own
private Emily and James bubble.

As the words come to light, “If anyone knows
of any reason these two should not be wed, speak now or forever
hold your peace.” My eyes widen as does James’s and we
simultaneously turn our heads out toward the audience.

My heart pounding in my chest, my hands
turning slick, I searching the crowd for the one person who could
cause a problem.

Standing at the side of the ceremony, leaning
against the railing of the staircase, is Johnathan and he is
bawling. Tears are flowing freely down his face and my heart starts
to crack. Poor Johnathan, how could I have hurt him this bad? Now I
feel heart wrenchingly terrible.

“Johnathan,” James speaks up and Johnathan
looks to him, his face beat red, snot running from his nose. “Come
up here, and stand with us, please, I know this isn’t easy buddy,
but you are a part of our lives and Emily needs you.”

Wow, and here I thought I was already
marrying a perfect man. How could he get any better?

Cammy grabs Johnathan’s arm and pulls him in
tow through the sand and around the outside of the chairs, along
the side by Stacy and up the two steps to join us. She pats me on
and arms and retreats to sit in the front row.

“Here.” I look to James’s hands, silently
asking for permission to let him go for just a moment, he seems to
understand my plea and lets me take care of my crying Johnathan.
The man who may not be for me, is still a big part of my life, who
I still dearly love.

“Sweetie.” I grab his face, forcing him to
look at me and I swipe away his tears. “Stand behind me, and be a
part of this. I may not be marrying you. But we are all in this
together,” I reassure him with a soft smile and all he can seem to
do is bounce his saddened head and frown.

“Do you want to be up here with us?”

“No,” he mopes.

“Why?”

“You know why. It hurts too much.”

“If you are up here and are by my side, don’t
you think you might feel a little better about this? I want you to
marry Cammy, Johnathan. I want you to be happy with her. And when
you two finally get to that place in your lives, I will be up here
holding your hand through it all. You are one of my best friends.
You may drive me crazy but I love you and we are all in this
together. You, me, James, Cammy, Stacy and Kyle. We are a family,
with Dylan and the twins. None of us are leaving, none of us are
walking away. Don’t ruin this day. Celebrate it, with all of us.
You’re not losing me. You’re gaining so much more. A closure to our
old life and a brand new one with so many more possibilities.”

“Ok.” Still frowning, he agrees and James
claps him supportively over the shoulder.

I truly have the most patient and kindest man
I am marrying. Stacy reaches out and pulls Johnathan down a step,
closer to him and being the sweet caring Stacy we all know and
love, he holds Johnathan’s hand. I do have the best men in my
life.

“Okay, sir, we are ready to move forward,”
James cuts in, and gestures for him to get the show on the
road.

Let’s do this thing!

I know some people find our situation strange
or unconventional. But Johnathan means a lot to us all. Even if he
is a jerk or a cheater. He is my jerk and my cheater. Even if you
don’t marry someone, it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. I wasn’t
made for Johnathan, I was made for James and I want the whole world
to know it. At the same time I need Johnathan to see he is not
losing me as a person, I am still his, in his own messed up mind.
It may not make a lick of sense. But, I know Johnathan and he’s
never going to let me go, or I him. I can’t give up on him or leave
him. I also can’t and don’t want to marry him. As screwed up as
that may be, we are a family and family sticks together. Family
kicks each other in the ass, and bitch slaps them into next Tuesday
for being a fuck up. But in the end, family is what matters most
and James, Johnathan, Cammy, Kyle, Stacy, Dylan and the twins are
my closest family— apart from my parents, of course.

Placing my hands back into James’s, I mouth
‘I’m sorry’ to him and he shrugs and smiles, mouthing, ‘I love
you,’ back to me. Awe, he really is amazing.

“It’s time for your vows. Calvin, would you
like to start?” The justice of the peace states. I’m pretty sure he
skipped a few steps but hey, what do I know? We didn’t have a
rehearsal and I can’t ever remember attending a wedding. So vows it
is.

Delving deep into my eyes, the world fades
out again as James begins to recite his vows to me.

“I, Papa Bear, take you, Mama Bear, to be my
lawfully wedded wife, because you saved me, healed me and are the
best part of me. I never knew what love was until you unexpectedly
climbed into my heart, claiming it as your own. You are beautiful,
inside and out. I admire you, your courage, your strength and most
of all your ability to love unconditionally. To see past peoples
faults and accept them for who they are and not who you expect them
to be. You saw the real me, beneath this tough exterior, under all
the pain and years of self-doubt. You have made me whole in ways I
never knew were possible. Some may say fairytales can’t come true.
But you are my fairytale. I’m the frog turned into a prince by the
simple touch of your undying love. And I promise to spend the rest
of our days in this life and the next, telling you how beautiful
you are to me, to worship the ground you walk on, to be your
strength when you are weak, to always be faithful, for the soul
that inhabits my body could never want another, you are it, you are
my all, you are mine. I will love you, eternally.”

Oh. My. God!

Scrunching my face, close to pain, I burst
into a blubbering mess of salty tears. Without a second thought,
James has me in his arms, cradling my trembling, highly emotional
body, tightly against his warmth.

Oh. My. God! I can’t believe he wrote that.
That was a flawless, tender and the most perfect declaration of
love that I could ever imagine.

My Papa Bear, I love you so much.

Wrapping my arms around him, I press my head
to his heat in attempt to soak in his relaxing spirit.

“Thank you,” I mutter, pressing tiny kisses
to his heart.

“My lady, it’s alright, I will hold you as
long as you need. Anytime you ever need.”

“No, thank you for marrying me,” I
clarify.

Releasing me from his embrace he cups my chin
in his big hand.

“So beautiful,” he smiles and wipes my hot
tears away. “You ready to finish? So you can get your prize?”

“You’re my prize.” I whimper, my bottom lip
quivering, overwhelmed with happiness.

“Awe, sweetheart, no, you are mine and I
promise to show you how much.” He winks, gliding his warm palm
sweetly across my cheek and reclaiming my hands in his.

“Emily, are you ready to recite your vows?”
The justice of the peace asks.

“Yes,” I nod assuredly.

Taking in a deep cleansing breath, I ready
myself.

Almost done, I am almost Emily Sue James, a
married mother of two. I love the sound of that.

“I Emily, take you my Papa Bear to be my
lawfully wedded husband, for you are not only my lover, and my
friend, you are also a part of me. Without you, I am only a half of
a whole. You are the kindest, sweetest, strongest and most generous
man ever to walk this earth and into my heart. It’s true when they
say, the heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart only beats
for you. Thank you for choosing me and being my rock, my Bear. I
couldn’t have survived so much in my life without your love and
gentle hand. I am yours and you are mine, until my last breath on
this earth. I will always love and belong to you.”

Whew, that wasn’t so hard.

James hasn’t moved and the gentle tears
trickling slowly out of the corner of his eyes, tells me all I need
to know.

“Now, it’s time for the rings,” our officiant
declares, moving us right along.

Johnathan takes James white gold wedding band
from Stacy and hands it to me. I had it engraved last week that
says ‘Two Hearts Beat as One’ around the inside.

Exchanging of the rings is sweet and simple,
and as it concludes James doesn’t hesitate another second, he
captures me protectively in his warm loving embraces and plants a
deep, longing kiss on my lips— Just as the officiant pronounces us
husband and wife.

Threading my hands around the back of his
neck, I hold him to my mouth and gently lick the seam of his big
lips to invite me in. And he does with an intense growl, darting
his thick minty tongue into my mouth, passionately kissing me like
no one has ever done before. Sucking the air from my lungs, my mind
headily swirls as our kiss turns into a hot inferno of lust filled
want and need. His hands roam my back, and all I can focus on his
my throbbing pussy and his sultry decadent lips consuming me,
owning me, loving me.

Oh James!

“Ah-hem.” Someone clears their throat, and I
open my eyes and realize that, yes, me and my husband are now
making out like horny teenagers in front of our closest friends and
family.

Pulling away from him, and shaking it off, I
laugh and turn bright red, bursting with embarrassment.

James wraps his arm around my waist, locking
us hip-to-hip. Or, my hip to his thigh, that’s the reality of
it.

“I’d like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Calvin
and Emily James,” the justice of the peace calls out and we bow to
the clapping crowd, then head down the two steps to mingle with our
beloved family. Let the celebration begin.

***

“Would the bride and groom please take the
dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife,” the DJ
summons.

“Time to dance, sweetheart,” my husband says,
claiming my hand and I place Eric back into my mother’s arms.

The reception thus far has been unbelievably
magical. Stacy outdid himself with this party. The courtyard that
fills behind the main house, where the two smaller houses sit, has
been transformed into a fairytale wonderland of elegant
proportions. All of the green shrubs lining the property have been
ornamented with thousands of white lights. Wire has been strung
high above our heads and crisp white round paper lanterns
illuminate us hanging from those wires. There are seven round
tables draped with the finest white linens, pink napkins and bone
white china adorn the place settings and the center pieces are
large hurricane lamps with white pillar candles and sand sitting
inside them. Stunning—is the first word that comes to mind, when
soaking in all of this beauty.

A wooden dance floor and stage has been
assembled as the focal point of the evening. An entire band set up
and white grand piano takes up the majority of the platform.

After our hugs and congratulations concluded,
we came here to eat, drink and be merry—and that is precisely what
we do. Traditionally, speeches are given before the dinner services
but Stacy decided for whatever reason to delay them until after we
drink champagne with our white chocolate and fresh strawberries and
cream three tiered wedding cake, that is topped adorably with
nothing less than a pair of white kissing bears.

Dinner tonight was both chicken and steak
served with a side of garlic mashed potatoes, baby carrots and a
separate salad with a scrumptious homemade vinaigrette, that I must
get the recipe for.

Gliding me to the dance floor, James spins me
into his arms and we come together, my left hand resting lovingly
on his shoulder, my right hand wrapped up in his, and he presses it
to his heart, holding it there. Glancing down at me, he leans in
and kisses my forehead.

“Enjoy your present sweetheart,” he says,
with a sweet smile and guides us around so I can able to get a full
view of the stage from this angle.

Suddenly, I realize what is happening. A
beautiful dark skinned man and a cute redheaded woman with a violin
pressed to her chin enter from the side of the platform, the man
takes a seat on the white piano bench as the woman stands next to
him, angling the man’s microphone down towards his mouth.

“Who are they?” I whisper, not sure who this
is at my wedding and what song they are about to perform.

“Hello, everybody, I’m John and I am here to
sing to the wonderful couple Emily and James. Congrats you two.
When I got a call a week ago about singing at their wedding I
wouldn’t miss it for the world. This song is for you. You ready,
Lindsay?” John speaks, the name is still not registering with
me.

Playing with the keys and Lindsey fiddling
with her violin they get in sync with one another and start a
lovely musical intro.

“What would I do, without your smart
mouth,

drawing me in and you kicking me out.

You’ve got my head spinning, no kiddin’, I
can’t pin you down,