Stronger By Your Side (Great Love Book 2) (13 page)

“Hey!” I said, smiling up at him, trying to point my right eye out of sight.

SJ’s face twisted into concern as his finger hooked under my chin. Uh Oh. “Hey, why did you leave?” He said quietly.

The feeling of his skin on mine sent a swarm of butterflies free in my stomach. It hadn’t always been that way. We had been friends since we were 5 and had done almost everything together. Somewhere between puberty and Senior Prom, he began to have this effect on me. I needed to stop it. I needed to leave! I just shrugged my shoulders, which caused him to sigh.

I couldn’t stop myself from taking him in one more time. SJ was 6 feet 3 to my 5 feet 7. He had light, olive-colored skin and big, brown eyes. He was stuck between husky and extremely fit. The best way I could describe it was a football build. He was big and strong. He still had a little bit of a baby face, but a strong jaw with slightly rounded cheeks. He had a big, white, breathtaking smile that warmed my entire body. His hair was light brown and fell over his face and down below his ears. I often made fun of him and called him surfer boy because of it. SJ was the most handsome guy at our high school, hands down. The girls knew it, but SJ didn’t seem to.

My breathing became shallow as SJ’s other hand brushed back the hair from my right eye and tucked it behind my ear. Oops. He sucked in a breath and his shoulders dropped a little. “I’m fine.” I whispered.

“Like heck you are. Meg, why are you here? Come stay with me. I can’t sit back and let some lowlife beat you every time you’re here, or worse, let them . . . ” His voice become pained as he stopped and pinned me with a look of concern. I shrugged away from him, not wanting to talk about that again. I walked back a step and after looking at the ground for a second, I met his eyes. SJ never took his eyes off me.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Missy”—I paused, taking a breath, and I licked my lips in anticipation for what I had to do next—“She is gone for the night, went to some guy’s hotel . . . I think. Anyway, I know I can’t stay here anymore. Just came to get a few things. I’m . . . I’m leaving,” I said with fake confidence as I grabbed the backpack and duffle bag off of the couch and placed a note on the table.

SJ narrowed his eyes at me, and then his fingers gently lifted the yellow legal paper to his face. He quietly read it out loud, “Missy, you’re a terrible human being. I can’t stand to look at your face one more day. Have fun living your life without me. Don’t try and find me. You will never see me again. Congrats. I hate you, but don’t die, bitch. Thanks, Megan.”

A slow smile pulled at SJ’s lips and then he shook his head. “Dang, Pumpkin, this is a little harsh, don’t you think? What if she commits sui—”

I cut him off. “What if she ODs for the hundredth time? Plus, I said don’t die.”

SJ huffed a laugh. “So sentimental of you.”

I was getting angry now. “Oh, What? You think she deserves better, SJ?”

He shook his head. “No, but you do.” I glared at him as his eyes softened. “You don’t have to be this person, Meg. You don’t have to be hateful.” And that look in his eyes, the words he spoke, almost convinced me. They almost made me think that I could have what I wanted, that I didn’t have to be this person, but it wasn’t true. I told myself to get the thought out of my head right then.

I huffed. “Easy for you to say.” I walked out of the trailer and let the door slam behind me.

SJ followed quietly, and when I didn’t stop at his truck he shouted to me, “Hey, Pumpkin!” I turned on my heels and licked my lips. This was going to suck.

“Yeah?” I shouted back.

“Um, where you going?” He asked as he walked towards me.

Stay strong, Megan. Don’t let those eyes get to you.
“I told you, I’m leaving.”

He stopped a foot from me and put his hands on his hips. “Okay then, let’s go.” I shook my head, suddenly doubting my strength to do this. “What do you mean?” His voice quieted.

“I mean I’m
leaving
.” I put emphasis on the last word, and it seemed to hit him.

His eyes went wide, and he shook his head. “Like Hell you are. You’re leaving?” he stated more than asked. He was upset, hence the slipped curse word. I nodded with a fake confidence that I hoped I wasn’t showing.

I decided now was time to pull out the bitch. It would make it easier for everyone. “That’s what I said,” I snapped.

He ran his hand through his hair. “You’re going to leave me, Meg? I need you.”

I glared at him. “Yeah, well maybe I don’t need you.”

Pain seemed to flicker in his eyes, but he shook it off quickly. It burned to say it, and I didn’t know if I could keep going. “You don’t mean that, Meg. If you want to go to school or live in your own place, fine. I have plenty of money, Meg. You’re my best friend, just please don’t leave me for good. Say that you’re just at least leaving for a little while, or you’re going to stay in touch, right? Be back soon?”

I shook my head and made sure I spoke harshly, “No, SJ. I’m not doing either thing.”

His face twisted in confusion. “This makes no sense, Megan. We have always counted on each other. Why are you doing this?”

I took a deep breath. I tried not let my voice shake, but it did anyway. “Because, SJ, I need to get away from here.”

He nodded “Okay. Yeah, I get that, but why can’t you stay in touch, or I can come with you, we can travel the world—”

I cut him off. “No!”

SJ Sighed again. “Why?”

I needed to go. I needed to end this. “Because, SJ, I don’t want you around anymore. You weigh me down.” The words burned like venom as I said them, and SJ’s face made me want to puke. It was working, but I needed to hit it home.

He stepped forward and placed his hands on my cheeks. “Pumpkin, I don’t know why you’re saying these things, but if you’re going to try and leave . . . ” He paused, and his eyes looked deep into my soul, into places I didn’t want him anywhere near. I starting shaking against my will as he continued, “Then I’m going to try and keep you.” I tried not to be affected by his skin on mine or by the words he spoke. His eyes stared into my soul again, this time willing me to listen to him. I bit my lip as his eyes traced my face. “Megan, I love you.” My body stiffened, knowing that he meant it in a new way. He gently brushed my cheek and continued, “I am in love with you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you one day. I want you.” I tried to keep the tears from falling onto my cheeks, but one escaped as I whimpered to myself. He wiped it with his thumb as he stared into my eyes again.

Damn him. I can’t do this right now. I have to get away from him, far away, before I ruin him. He loves me? No. No, he can’t.
Before I could speak, his lips claimed mine. This wasn’t like in fifth grade. We had decided to be each other’s first kiss, and it had been awkward and strange. This was . . . it was perfect, like how a kiss should be. It was arguable that I wouldn’t know, since I had never kissed anyone else. Not SJ. No, Mr. Surfer Boy had had plenty from girls all over town. With his lips on mine, I realized that I had been jealous. Great.

Although I knew I had to leave, a part of me hoped that it was as magical for him as it was for me. Were all his other kisses magical like this? If I wasn’t in love with him before, as sure as the sky was blue, I was now. I tried not to melt into him. I tried to push my thoughts away, my feelings away. Heck, I tried to push him away. It didn’t matter, I couldn’t. I decided to stop trying to fight it, this moment. I decided to have one selfish moment before I let it all go, before I let him go. I dropped my bags, and my hands went around his neck, pulling me closer to him.

SJ deepened our kiss, and I slid my tongue into his mouth. The taste of him consumed my mind and I couldn’t think. I got lost in him for a few moments; we got lost in each other. Then a low growl that escaped his mouth pulled me out of my daze. I panicked, realizing I may have taken my selfish moment too far. I desperately pushed away from him.

“No!” I shouted as I pointed at him and walked backwards.

This was not in the plan. The plan was to make him hate me and leave. I was supposed to get far away from him. SJ’s face twisted in confusion as his eyes watched me carefully. Tears escaped my eyes as I lifted my bags back up and began slowly walking backwards.

“You don’t love me, SJ, and I don’t love you. I . . . I hate you! You hear me? I hate you! Damn it! I—I—I fucking hate you, SJ!” The words made me want to puke, and the hurt on his face made my stomach twist further.
Get it over with, Megan
.

“You hate me?” He whispered.

“Yeah, I . . . Uh . . . I hate you. I don’t ever want to see you again, SJ. Don’t try and find me. You understand?” I turned around quickly and ran.

The last thing I remember seeing was him standing there with his eyes glistening and his hands slack at his side.
It worked. I made him believe it. He could live his life now, without me messing it up. Without the plague that followed me messing it up. Stew will leave him alone and SJ will keep his fortune. He is free to do whatever he wants with his life. I’ll be okay, somehow I will. I will figure out how to become someone new. I will learn to live without him. How I’m going to do that, I don’t know, but I will . . . I have to.

I fell out of the memory and back into my bed, in my makeshift bedroom. I realized that I had been crying quietly and wiped the tears off my face. I closed my eyes and laid still. Sawyer had been one of the few things from my past I had missed, but that was painful. To avoid the pain, I just avoided thinking of him. Now that he was back, now that I couldn’t ignore him, I couldn’t ignore the memories any longer, so the pain was back too. It could never go back to normal, and now it could never move forward. Finally, sometime in the middle of the night, I drifted off into a solid slumber.

The next day I woke to a mini version of Charles face smiling at me. “Mama!” Charlotte squealed and clapped when I opened my eyes.

“Hi baby, good morning.” I smiled.

Charlotte ran off and began playing dolls and I shook my head. She was so silly and so full of energy. I went to the kitchen and began looking for something to make for breakfast. As I searched my cupboards and fridge, not really liking any of our options, I listened to the hustling of early morning Sunday coffee rush that was going on downstairs. The noises buzzed through our walls along with a steady flow of country music. I began to hum along with
Like the Rain by Clint Black
when a rapid knock made me look towards the front door.
 

Sawyer

Last night I told Megan to call me when she was ready. That is what I told her, but it’s not what I did. I wasn’t feeling patient enough to follow through with my original plan, which was to play it cool. It had only been eleven hours, and yet here I stood on her front doorstep, with a box donuts, two coffees and one hot chocolate from downstairs. I started to think that it wasn’t the best plan. I hadn’t met Megan’s daughter yet, and I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me doing so. But this was the best idea I had come up with. After knocking, I stood quietly, hoping I wasn’t waking them up.

Suddenly the door flew open, and a half-dressed Megan stood in the doorway. I couldn’t help but look her up and down. She was wearing a tight, white tank top with flannel blue pajama pants that had pink polka dots on them. Megan crossed her arms over her chest and cleared her throat. “SJ. What are you doing here?”

As I opened my mouth, a little, blonde version of Megan peeked around her legs. I smiled. “I wasn’t sure if you had breakfast yet, but I am addicted to Jitter Bugs now and thought I would share in the madness.”

Megan closed one eye and lifted a brow. Then, after she shook her head she smiled, followed by Charlotte copying her. “We were just figuring out what to do for breakfast.”

My smile grew wider. “Perfect timing then, I guess.”

Megan chuckled and I was pleased to see her body relax a little. “Lotte, this is Mommy’s friend, SJ.”

Charlotte laughed. “Hi Esh Chay.”

I got down on my knee and put out my fist. “Knuckles?”

Charlotte jumped up. “Knuggles!” as she fist pumped my hand. I smiled and then it dropped a little when she said, “Uncky Travey do knuggle!” I nodded, pretending like I wasn’t slightly jealous, and then stood up again.

Megan licked her lips and then shook her head like she was fighting with herself. “Okay, fine, come in.” I nodded and then did as she said. Charlotte followed close behind as we walked the short distance to the kitchen. I placed the box of donuts and the drink carrier on the counter.

Charlotte jumped up and down. “Dunuts!”

I laughed. “Yup and here, I got you this, too. Your Aunt Jules said it’s your favorite.” Charlotte’s little green eyes lit up as I handed her her hot chocolate.

Megan shook her head. “Whoa, hold up there.” She placed the excited toddler in her booster seat, buckled her in and then, after sliding an eating mat under her arms, she gave the smiling princess her drink back. I just watched Megan in awe. She was a natural at this, being a mother, but I always knew she would be. Megan looked up at me “You talked to Aunt Jules, huh?”

I nodded. “Yup. Caught her up, since you didn’t.” Megan shook her head and huffed.

Watching Megan continue to help Charlotte caused a small ache in my chest. This could have been us, this could have been mine. Maybe it still could be. To get the thought out of my mind, I took a sip of my coffee and smiled at Megan. She grabbed Charlotte a Donut and placed it on her mat. “What do you say to SJ?”

The blonde haired version of Megan smiled and looked up at me. “Tank you, Esh Chay.’

I laughed. “You’re welcome, Little Pumpkin.”

She lifted her little to-go cup with both hands and said, “Cheers.”

I laughed and did as she suggested. “Cheers.” Then we hit our cups together.

Megan laughed as she grabbed a donut and sat next to her daughter. “It’s her new thing.” I nodded and then sat across from Megan.

After breakfast, if doughnuts count, Megan rushed over and folded up her couch bed. I tried not to wince, but I hated that she slept on it. It couldn’t be comfortable. I had helped her after she yelled at me not to. Once the couch was useful, Megan excused herself and Charlotte to get dressed. She told me to make myself at home and then turned on the TV. I sat and watched a little football and was shocked when the girls came out, fully ready, not even fifteen minutes later.

I smiled at the two girls, who were both dressed in matching orange tee shirts that said “Fall for Wheatland” in brown, with fall leaves scattered on them, and jeans. Megan laughed.

“Okay, before you ask, today is the Fall Kick-off Carnival.” I tilted my head and then remembered that being mentioned at work. I didn’t get pulled to help work it, so I had forgotten about it.

I nodded. “Okay.”

Megan smiled wider. “And Lotte and I are helping my friend, Emerson, run the bake sale . . . so . . . ”

I lifted my brow and then stood, knowing where this was going. “So?”

She grabbed Charlotte’s backpack and began helping the toddler load her favorite toys in it. “You were always a great salesman when we were kids.”

I shook my head and deadpanned, “We had a lemonade stand, Pumpkin.”

She pretended to look offended, then repeated my slogan I had yelled at the passing neighbors when we were kids. “The best lemonade in Georgia.”

Now I laughed. “Yeah, okay, what’s your point?”

She stood up and helped Charlotte slide her backpack onto her arms. “Well, I thought we could hang out and you could help.”

I shot her a look and shoved my hands in my pockets. I thought for a second and then rocked on my feet. “So let me get this straight: I bring you doughnuts and coffee, and I get stuck doing charity work for you?”

She pointed at me and gave me an adorable look. “With me.”

I laughed “Oh gosh, my mistake, well how do I say no to that?”

Charlotte screamed, “Yay!”

I shook my head. “Alright, let’s go. Should I drive?”

Megan laughed. “No need.” And as we walked out of her apartment door, I could see why. In the two hours I had been at her place, the town square had been turned into a fall wonderland.
 

Megan

Six hours. We had been working the bake sale booth with Emerson and the twins for six hours. Charlotte was giggling as she played with the twins in the large play yard Emerson was smart enough to bring. We had set it up behind our stand on the grass, and besides all three girls being tired from no nap, they were having a blast. I watched Sawyer in front of our booth with a tray full of pumpkin baked everything. “Best pumpkin muffins in the state!” People would stop and smile and take a sample, usually stopping to buy some of said pumpkin treats. Sawyer’s willingness to help and his enthusiasm didn’t surprise me, but they did rattle me. It sparked a match inside of me that really didn’t need to be lit, because, unfortunately for me, he was extremely easy to like and even more easy to love.

After I rang up a line of customers for their baked goods, Emerson came up from behind me. “Just gave the girls their snacks. They are still having a blast. I knew bringing those foam balls was a good idea.”

I smiled and then looked back to see my child with a pile of said foam balls huddled next to her and a giant cookie being shoved into her mouth. “Dear Lord, Emerson.”

Emerson smiled wider and put up her hands in defense. “What?! You said she’s going to Jules’s tonight? And the twins are going to my Mother-in-law’s, so what the heck . . . I might as well be the favorite-aunt-slash-coolest-mom today!”

I laughed and shook my head. “Might as well.”

“Come on, you know you want to taste my pumpkin!” SJ shouted out into the crowds of people walking by. He got some odd stares and some laughs.

I smiled and then caught Emerson smiling at me from the corner of my eye. “What?” I turned to her, trying to wipe the smile off my face.

“So you want to tell me what’s going on with you and Pumpkin Boy?”

I laughed at her chosen name for him. SJ used to call me Pumpkin Girl and then shortened it to just Pumpkin as we grew older. I shrugged. “I told you, we grew up together as best friends. I haven’t seen him in eight years, and we ran into each other. No big deal.”

Emerson raised her brow at me. “Uh-huh. Sounds like a freaking romance novel if you ask me.”

  I shook my head, not wanting to agree with her madness, and then Sawyer came over, wiping his brow. “Jeez, this is exhausting. Can’t I trade with one of you pretty ladies? I’ll do baby duty.”

Emerson stared in awe, and then, with her hands over her heart, she gasped. “You’re a keeper.” She winked at me and I shot my dagger eyes back at her. Sawyer just laughed, and then Emerson said, “Actually, I think we’re done. The carnival only has another two hours or so left, and we are just about out of stock anyway. Figured we could close up shop and take the girls to the petting zoo.”

She pointed around the corner and I nodded. “Sounds good.”

SJ huffed. “Thank God.”

I shook my head as I helped Emerson pack up the baked goods. “Sorry your life is so rough there, Pumpkin Boy.”

SJ furrowed his brows at me and Emerson snickered. “Huh. So, if I’m Pumpkin Boy, does that mean we’re a couple?” I stiffened and glared up at him.

He just smiled that boyish smile, and Emerson perked up in unwanted enthusiasm. Great. “What?” She shrilled.

“No.” I said deadpan.

Emerson shook her head at me. “Tsk, tsk, Meanie . . . Sawyer, why is Megan Pumpkin Girl?”

Sawyer laughed a devious laugh and I hardened my glare. “SJ. No.”

He smiled wider at Emerson. “Oh, I would love to tell you the story of how Megan got her beloved nickname. In fact, I was shocked she was able to be around this many pumpkin smelling items.”

I glared at him. “I helped bake them.”

He put out his lip, and with a nod, said, “Even more impressive there, Pumpkin.”

I grunted, and Emerson raised her brows at me with her lips rolled in. “Really?”

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, and sighed. “SJ . . . ” He just smiled at me and I looked up at him. “You’re dead.” His smile dropped and Emerson laughed.

I held Sawyer’s gaze until it was broken by Emerson’s voice. “Hey, Babe! And Travis!”

My eyes shifted from Sawyer the two men walking up, and my body stiffened. Their run-in last night wasn’t the most pleasant, and I kind of shot Travis down. This probably wasn’t the best way for Travis to find me. I can’t say I was surprised to see him here because his father hosted it. Of course he would be here. I just hadn’t thought of the consequences until now, when it was too late. Emerson walked around the booth to Cal, who kissed his wife and then wrapped his arm around her.

Emerson looked up at Cal. “Sawyer here was just about to tell us how Megan got her childhood nickname of Pumpkin Girl.”

Cal’s eyes trailed over me, then Sawyer, and then Travis, who stood brooding. He shrugged, smiled, and then held out the hand that wasn’t occupied holding Emerson. “Hey, Sawyer, I’m Cal.”

SJ nodded and returned the shake with a smile. “So you’re the lucky man? Emerson told me about you.”

Cal looked down at his wife and kissed the top of her head. “The luckiest, now where’s the—?” He stopped when his eyes found his answer and he laughed. “Well, Maxi is trying to force feed Mari a cookie, be right back.” I turned around to see for myself and laughed in unison with everyone else. Cal jogged towards the girls and quickly hopped into the fence, saving one daughter from the other.

Sawyer looked over at Travis and put out his hand. “How’s it going, Travis? Nice to see you again.” Travis looked at Sawyer’s hand and then at me. I smiled weakly at him.

He nodded and returned the handshake. “Good, how you doing, Sawyer?”

Sawyer nodded. “Alright. These girls are slave drivers.”

Travis genuinely chuckled at that, and it made me smile. “Oh, you have no idea, man, Christmas time is miserable.”

Sawyer looked down at me with a smile and nodded. “I’ll have to remember that.” I glared up at his smug smile, because he already knew how I was during the holidays, at least how I had been as a child. I had become a perfectionist, which was a learned behavior from his mother.

The men helped Emerson and me pick up the booth and put everything where it needed to go. I ran into the coffee house with the envelope of money and put it into the store safe. The money would go to city funds, including my elementary school, which was awesome because we desperately needed supplies.

When I came out, Cal had already packed up the play yard fence and Emerson had changed diapers and even taken Charlotte to the potty, something the preschool and I were working hand in hand on.

The three men, Emerson, the three girls and I walked the carnival and went to the petting zoo area. I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the goats wouldn’t stop eating Sawyer’s pants leg. He just smiled and let it happen. The girls thought it was hilarious, and so to ensure the gut chuckles from the three toddlers, he continued to let it happen and would say, “Hey, stop that.” in a silly voice to the hungry goat.