Summer of Sloane (24 page)

I’m trying to finagle my backpack into an already full overhead compartment above my head, when one of the flight attendants comes to my aid. Of course that’s also the same time I shove someone else’s bag to make room for mine, and I watch helplessly as it slides just out of my reach and smacks her in the shoulder. A Costco-sized box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts decides to jump with it and lands on her feet. She lets out a grunt.

“Oops…sorry.”

I attempt to help grab whatever I can in the now cramped aisle, when I hear her deep intake of breath. Scowling, she points to my seat, and I do as I’m told. She settles everything in the overhead bin and moves on to the row behind me.

Buckling my seat belt, I realize I need to call Finn and let him know what’s going on. I’m still pissed at him, but suddenly everything that happened at dinner seems so stupid.

I pull out my phone to dial his number, but then my favorite flight attendant returns.

“Miss, you’re going to have to turn that off and stow it until after we’ve landed in Seattle.” I want to tell her that I’ll make it quick, but the look on her face is nothing but serious. “I’d have no problem confiscating it if I have to.”

“Yeah, I was just making sure it was turned off.” She stands guard as I power down my phone and tuck it in the seat pocket in front of me, like she doesn’t believe me.

I guess Finn will just have to wait until my flight lands tomorrow morning.

Which seems like it takes forever.

It doesn’t help that I can’t shut off my mind from all the crap that’s happened in the last few hours. And I try not to imagine what could have happened in the time that’s passed since I’ve been on the plane. I try not to think about all the worst-case scenarios, scenarios like the one where Mick doesn’t make it.

Or worse, the scenario in which I’m already too late.

Tyler is waiting for me when I land, and without even thinking, I hug him tight. I look up at his face for confirmation that Mick is okay, and while it’s grim, I still see hope there.

“Is she still…?” I can’t bring myself to say it.

“She’s serious, but stable. I was finally able to talk to her brother for a second, but I don’t know much. I guess she’s been in surgery for most of the morning. They moved her to recovery about an hour ago. I’m sorry, Sloane. They’re only allowing family in to see her right now.”

“Well, when
can
we see her? Did Bryson at least tell you that?”

“I’m not sure. He only said he’d call later with an update. I guess I’ll take you home and we can wait for him to call.”

He snags my backpack from my shoulder, and we walk in the direction of the parking garage.

On one hand, I’m relieved, because stable at least sounds hopeful. But it still doesn’t explain how she ended up in the hospital to begin with.

“Jesus, Tyler. What the hell happened?”

Throwing my bag in the trunk, he unlocks my door and holds it open, then goes around to the driver’s side and gets in.

“Jansen threw a rager last night. The entire school was there, and everyone was wasted. You know how his parties are.” Jansen is one of Tyler’s football buddies, and ever since the ninth grade, he’s been known for these parties at his parents’ lake house. “Mick snuck out and took her mom’s car.”

I suck in a deep breath of air.

The fact Mick snuck out is one thing, because even though she’s done that with me, I’ve never seen her do it by herself. But the bigger deal is that she took her mom’s car…without having a license. And that doesn’t sound like her at all.

“Of course as soon as I saw her, I told her she shouldn’t be there…you know, with the baby and all. And we totally got into it. Fuck, she was a mess—screaming at me and crying, saying I’d ruined everything for her. I tried to calm her down, but hell, Sloane, I was blitzed myself. She took off before I could stop her.”

His knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel tighter. “She hit an SUV head-on, and both she and the other driver were airlifted to the hospital. I don’t even know how they pulled her out of her car, it was so bad. She’s lucky to be alive.”

There’s more I need to ask, more I need to know, but my phone rings and it’s my dad, so I answer. I update him with what little news we have, but when I ask when he’ll be home, I find out his conference is in Miami and a stupid hurricane is headed to shore.

“I’m so sorry, Sloane. Why we’d have a conference in Miami during hurricane season is beyond me, but I’ll be on the next flight out, I promise. I’ll see you soon.”

It’s early, but I call Penn anyway to fill him in and ask that he tell Mom and Bob, because I’m too exhausted to talk anymore. But there is one more person I need to call. When I dial Finn’s number, it goes straight to voice mail, and I don’t leave a message. It’s six thirty in the morning there, so he’s probably still asleep.

Tyler takes my bag from the trunk, then follows me up to the house. It’s hard not to remember what happened the last time we were both here. But I need to get past that. I need to move on.

I unlock the front door and hold it open. “Come inside. I’d like to be there when Bryson calls you.”

He hesitates, but only for a moment, then steps through the door and shuts it behind him. We head up to my room, and he tosses my backpack on my desk chair. It’s weird being here, with him, but it also feels familiar.

“So you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…but what about the baby?”

His eyes well up with tears, and I know the answer without him having to say anything. While the baby may have been something he didn’t want before, I realize now it’s no longer a choice. My heart sinks into my toes.

God, how fucked-up everything’s gotten. I have no idea how I let it get this bad. Or how I get it to go back to the way it was before.

I need to fix this. We all made mistakes, but I need to make it better. I just don’t know where to start.

“I’m really sorry, Tyler….”

“It’s not your fault.” He doesn’t say anything more, but when he rakes his fingers down his face, I can see how exhausted he really is.

“I think we both could use a nap. You can crash in Penn’s room if you want.” Nodding, he takes that as his cue to leave, but I grab his hand. “I really am sorry, Tyler—about everything. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me.”

There’s a desperation in his eyes mixed with uncertainty, like he’s not sure if I mean what I’m saying. Hell, I have no idea what I’m saying myself.

He lets go of my hand and sits on the edge of my bed with his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. I stand next to him, my fingertips finding their way to his hair, and I comb them along like I’ve done a thousand times before. Both of his arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me to him, resting his forehead against my stomach.

We sit that way for a while, and then he stands and his eyes search mine. He lowers his head, pauses…and then he kisses me.

He’s the only one that understands exactly what it is I’m going through, because he’s going through it himself. And while I know this is all sorts of wrong in so many ways, I need to kiss him, too.

So I do.

But then my mind flashes on Finn, and I pull away.

Tyler stands back to look at me—
really
look at me. And yes, he’s done this a million times before, but something in the way he does it now is different. Like we’re different.

Because we are.

“I’m so sorry I ever hurt you, Sloane.”

He gently, tentatively, kisses my forehead, then lowers himself onto my bed and lies back. When he folds his hands in his lap, I know he’s telling me it’s safe—he’s not about to try anything. Grateful, because I am way too tired and scared and confused to deal with any of this, I lie down next to him, my left side against his right.

I don’t know what he is to me now, but I know that, with everything going on, having him here is comforting. And in this moment, that’s about as far as I can think it through. So instead, I lean into him, close my eyes, and fall asleep.

I hear the sound of a cell phone buzzing with an incoming call. It’s hours later, the sun still out, but much farther along in the sky than it was before.

Tyler reaches for the phone.

“Bryson, how is she?” he whispers. I can tell he doesn’t know I’m awake. “Oh, sorry about that.” Pause. “She’s sleeping, but I’ll let her know you…hello?”

He disconnects the call, sets my phone back down on the nightstand next to his, and stares at it.

“Shit.”
He rubs at his eyes, then runs his fingers up the back of his head, skewing his hair in different directions.

Before I can ask who it was, Tyler goes to use my bathroom. When he comes back out, he sees that I’m awake, lying on my stomach facing him with my arms tucked under my pillow. He sits down on the bed next to me. Sliding the strap of my tank top to the side, he traces along my tattoo, and then his hand moves up to my hair and twines a strand around his finger.

“You’ve changed so much, Slo. The old you would’ve never done this to your hair. And you hate needles more than anything.”

I take a deep breath. “I still hate needles. But I guess I wanted to try something new, do something different.” I glance over my shoulder at the tattoo. “And I happen to like my hair, thank you very much.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “I like it, too, Slo. That’s just it. You look amazing. You have this confidence now like nothing and no one can stop you.”

“And I didn’t have that before?”

“No, you did, just not quite…I don’t know, not quite as much.” He traces my tattoo again. “What does it mean?”

“Remember to live.”

He glances at me, then shakes his head. “But when did you forget?”

I look him in the eyes and hold his gaze as he waits for my answer.

“The day my best friend told me she’d slept with my boyfriend and she was pregnant. Only to find out an hour later, she’d actually slept with him twice.”

He cringes and hangs his head, his eyes closed.

“I can’t believe it’s already been a month,” I say. “And, God, it didn’t feel like it then—and sometimes it still doesn’t now—but I think everything that happened made me finally wake up. Made me take a new look at what really matters, or better yet,
who
really matters. Because you can’t imagine how it feels when the people you love the most end up being the ones that hurt you the most.”

I realize I’m not yelling at him, and I’m not crying, either. And while this is such a different conversation than ones I’ve had with Tyler as of late, there’s still something I need to know. Something I need Tyler to answer.

“I know you said no when you were in Hawaii, but I need you to really be honest with me. Did you…do you love her?”

He stares down at the floor and shakes his head slowly. Then his eyes drift up to meet mine.

“No, other than as a friend, no. It was a stupid mistake, Slo, and if I could go back and change it all, I would. I don’t know why I was so confused when she told me she had feelings for me, because that never should have mattered.” He touches my tattoo again. “But I know that’s all a little too late. What I did…what Mick and I did, it changed everything. I know you’ve moved on. I can see it all over your face. And I could feel it when I kissed you.” He takes a breath. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do.” There’s no hesitation when I say it, because it’s the truth. And suddenly, I know I need to talk to Finn, tell him how much of a mess dinner was, and apologize for going off like I did.

“Sloane, I’m really sorry, but he called you earlier.”

I sit up straight. “Crap. That was him?”

Tyler nods. “I heard the phone and I thought it might be Mick’s family, so I answered it. And he didn’t sound happy. At all.”

He hands me my phone, then brushes my hair back from my forehead. “You should probably call him. I’ll go see if I can find us something to eat.”

He shuts the door, and I stare at it. I can’t believe he actually told me Finn called. That he’s suggesting I call him back. Maybe Tyler’s trying to move on, too.

I swallow hard and call Finn. He doesn’t answer right away, but when he does, I hear laughter and voices in the background and the unmistakable sound of a girl’s voice nearby. A girl with an accent.

“I said I’ll be right there, Gianna. Hello?” he snaps into the phone.

“Wait, you’re with Gianna?” I can’t keep the disbelief out of my voice.

“And you’re with Tyler.”

Touché
.

“That didn’t take long,” he adds. “Hopped the first plane back to Seattle, huh?”

“Finn, are you kidding me? I tried to call you earlier. Do you have any idea what’s going on here?”

“Nope. Only that you ran home to fucknuts as soon as things got rough here. Imagine that. Gotta go.”

And with that, he disconnects the call. Just like his father.

I stare at my phone in utter disbelief.
“Nope”?
What the hell does he mean by “nope”? I start to call him again, but stop when I realize two things. One, he’ll probably not even bother to answer, and two, there’s nothing I can say that will make him listen, at least not right now.

Not even five seconds later, I try calling him anyway. I can’t leave it like this. But this time it rings a few times and, unsurprisingly, goes to voice mail.