Summer of Sloane (27 page)

But it still doesn’t help with Mick.

I tell my dad what happened at the hospital and most of the words that were exchanged.

“A few days ago I never would’ve thought I’d forgive Mick, but then the accident happened, and all I could think about was how I would feel if Mick didn’t get better, if I’d be okay with not having the chance to talk to her…or forgive her for what she did.

“But then she said everything she said, and at first I thought she was just strung out on pain meds and pissed at hearing the bad news about not being able to dance anymore…about losing the baby. But there’s something more there, Dad. She’s not the same person I left standing in that park over a month ago. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive her, but honestly…I don’t know if she’s ever going to forgive me, either.”

“Well, all I can say, Sloane, is that people do change. Traumatic situations can make it even worse, and Mick is dealing with a lot of that right now. Maybe she just needs time. You of all people should understand that.”

“I don’t know, Dad. I think she needs something more than time. And maybe I do, too.”

He stares at me, I mean really stares at me, and I know what he’s about to say is serious.

“You need to do what’s best for you, Sloane. If that means moving on, then so be it—at least you can’t say that you didn’t try. Like I said, everyone is responsible for their own actions. Every single one of us, including Mick.”

I leave for Hawaii the following day. The flight back gives me several hours to think—about everything and everyone—and it makes my head hurt like I’ve had a headache for days.

But then I land in Honolulu and the scent of flowers and the heat of the tropical sun washes over me once again, and now Tyler and Mick both seem so far away. Like a thing of the past.

I called Finn before my flight took off, but didn’t bother to leave a message this time. I know it’s impossible, but as I head down toward baggage claim, a part of me hopes Finn will somehow be there to pick me up. Like he’ll just know I’m back.

Sadly, I’m a little disappointed when I see Penn standing there instead. The two of us wait quietly as we watch the luggage spin around the carousel. Even though I went home with only a backpack, I took advantage and packed a new bag while not under the influence of narcotics.

I get the easy conversation out of the way first and fill Penn in on what happened between Tyler and me. I tell him that I think, maybe in time, Tyler and I can go back to being friends. His relief is immediate, and I know that’s because he misses his friend, too.

I also tell him what happened with Mick and how differently things ended there. But I change the subject before he has a chance to respond.

“So how are things with Mia?” I pretty much already know the answer to this, but I want to hear it from him. I look up in time to see the lines of his face harden.

“She still hasn’t forgiven me for the Fourth. But in my defense, I was pissed that she was with Shep all night and I was drunk on top of that…and honestly? I have no idea what went down. Misty and I were in the same room, but while I was in the bed, she was passed out on the couch. I don’t think we did anything, but I don’t know for sure. I’ve been trying to find her, see if she’ll tell me what happened…or hopefully, what didn’t.” He kicks at the front of the baggage carousel, and I know he’s mad at himself. “Then maybe Mia will forgive me.”

Then it’s Penn’s turn to change the subject. “So…have you talked to Finn?”

The linoleum floor has suddenly taken on an interesting appeal. The dark tiles hide the millions of scuffs I’m sure are there. Sometimes I wish it were that easy to hide my own flaws.

“He won’t talk to me. It’s…it’s a long story.” And then it all comes spilling out as we collect my bag and head to the car. Everything from the horrible dinner with his dad, to Tyler picking up the phone when he finally did call. Before I realize it, my brother is pulling the car into the garage at the Echelon.

“What the hell, Penn? Why are we here?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you I have to work today?” He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “That and I figured badass Sloane with her bitchin’ tattoo might have a few choice words to say to a certain someone? I mean, are you gonna let him leave it like that?
Please
.” He throws me the keys. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll find another way home. See you tonight.” He disappears, leaving me standing at the car.

“Yeah, badass Sloane. Ha.” I make my way out from the garage and try Finn’s cell. Of course he doesn’t answer. I turn in the direction of the pool. After all, it’s early afternoon and usually a lounge chair is where he can be found this time of day. I say hello to Logan and a few of the other guards, but Finn is nowhere.

Okay, so I’ll try the beach.

I maneuver my way through slathered bodies that smell like hot, sticky coconuts, and scan the waves. Although based on the conversation with his dad at dinner, I’m not sure Finn would bother with surfing, at least maybe not here in front of the hotel.

Making my way back to the hotel, I decide to give his phone another try. When he again doesn’t answer, I realize I’ve somehow made my way to the elevator that goes up to his suite. He gave me the code a few weeks before, so I let myself up.

I don’t know what I expect to happen when I finally end up finding him. After all, I got a lot more than I thought when my meeting with Mick finally happened. Maybe it’s better I go into this one with no expectations at all.

The elevator doors open, and immediately I hear the TV on in his bedroom. I also hear voices. Laughter. I’m hesitant at first, but decide since I’m already here, I might as well knock.

“Come in,” he says in between muffled laughter. I’m not sure if it’s the TV or someone else that has him laughing. But when I open the door, I find him lying on his back, his hands folded behind his head, and Gianna is curled up next to him.

She has the audacity to look at me like
I’m
the one intruding. Her disgust is almost palpable as she eyes me from head to toe. And no matter what my brother just said to me, this is one situation even badass me can’t fix.

In the back of my mind, a small warning starts to blare, letting me know I’m holding my breath, trying to keep it under control.

Finn sits up, surprised. “You came back.”

“God, you have
got
to be kidding me,” I whisper. It’s all that comes out of my mouth, because I don’t know what else to say. I turn on my heel and slam the door. I’m back at the elevator, jamming the button with my thumb, gasping for air, before I even realize he’s behind me.

“When did you get back?” He’s standing so close, his breath moves the hair by my ear. “Sloane, I didn’t think you were—”

I spin around, and before I know what I’m doing, I shove him hard. So hard and so unexpectedly, he actually stumbles backward.

“I called. Several times. Which is more than I can say for your sorry ass.” I hear the elevator ding open behind me, but I’m only just getting started, so it will have to wait. “I’ve had more than my fair share of shit to deal with over the past month, not to mention the past few days. And while I thought we had something great going on, it’s obvious I couldn’t be more wrong.” I take a step forward, and he actually takes a step back.

“I went home to Seattle because my once best friend was almost killed in a car accident. I sat there, for hours, and wondered if she was actually going to make it. And so many things were clouding my mind, but still, I had the time to think about everything I’ve messed up, including
you
,” I say, looking away, my voice catching. “I thought about what happened at dinner with your father, about the things I said, about causing grief between the two of you, and I felt so stupid. I realized, after everything else that’s happened, how
stupid
it all was, and I was going to apologize. And then, I come here, and…and…”

Finn holds up his hands. “Sloane, I had no idea. I didn’t know about the accident, I didn’t know about Mick.”

“Of course you didn’t know. How could you? You wouldn’t talk to me. You didn’t answer any of my calls. You didn’t let me explain.”

My breathing spirals out of control and I try desperately to rein it in, get myself in check.

“Did you…did you sleep with her?”

His face goes dark as he looks back toward his bedroom door, and that alone answers my question. I bend over and clutch my stomach, my surroundings turning fuzzy around the edges. Ohmygod. How can this be happening?
Again?

“I can’t believe I’m such an idiot! I thought you were different! But how could I have ever thought I’d be enough? I wasn’t enough for Tyler, and clearly I wasn’t enough for you.” I turn around and make my way to the elevator, struggling to control my breathing. My thumb jams against the call button yet again. “I hope you realize you’re the one that walked away from us. Not me. I never would’ve done that, I never would’ve done what I know would’ve hurt you the most.”

The doors open, and I stumble in, gasping for breath as I clutch at my chest with one hand and press the button for the lobby with my other without turning around. There are so many things I can’t do right now, and looking at him is one of them.

“Sloane, are you okay?”

I shut him out and try to envision my pool. Slowly, it comes. The lanes, the water, the crowd.

But this time, as the doors slide shut, it doesn’t help.

It’s the beginning of August, and I’m giving Luce her last swim lesson. I want to finish what I started, even if Finn and I are no longer talking.

Over three weeks have passed since I last saw him. I thought I’d get fired from the Echelon after the words I had with Kent McAllister, but I was wrong. Because I quit. I couldn’t work there anymore anyway because I was constantly afraid I’d run into Finn. And I want nothing to do with him, not after knowing he’s been with Gianna.

He actually called a few times, but taking a cue from him, I sent him straight to voice mail. He also tried to talk to Penn, but my brother asked that he be kept out of it.

He came over a couple of times, too. But I never answered the door, and I promised my brother I’d be willing to risk another cast if he even thought of letting Finn in.

I hope he’s having fun with Miss Italy.

“You’re doing great, Luce!” I shout as she swims from one end of the pool to the other without stopping. I’m amazed at how she’s overcome her fear of the water. How she’s let it go and moved on. I think there’s something I can learn from that.

She stops at the shallow end of the pool and stands up. Yanking her goggles off her head, she takes in several deep breaths.

“Did you see that, Sloane? I did it!” She hops up and down in the water and grins from ear to ear.

“You bet I saw you! Didn’t I promise I’d have you swimming laps in no time? Didn’t I?” I reach down and give her a high five, but then she hops out of the pool and wraps her arms around me tight.

“Thanks for everything.” She tucks her head down, but I can see her suck in both lips as she looks away. “I’m really sorry my brother is being such a jerk, but I hope that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.”

We’ve somehow managed to avoid any mention of her brother over the past few weeks. But I’m guessing since this is her last lesson, Luce is afraid it will mean we won’t see each other again.

“Luce, whatever is going on between your brother and me has absolutely nothing to do with us, okay? We’re friends, no matter what.” I tighten my grip around her shoulders. “No matter what, Luce, I promise.”

She smiles and a little color rises in her cheeks.

“He really misses you, you know. Every time I come home from one of my lessons, he asks a ton of questions—like if you bring him up, if you ask about him, stuff like that. Do you think you’ll ever stop being mad at him? Because I think he really wants you to stop being mad at him.”

I don’t know what to say to any of that. Luce is so innocent, and she makes it sound so simple.

“I wish it were that easy, Luce. I really do.”

She leaves for my room to go change and I meet her inside to walk her to the front door. Like clockwork, the car from the Echelon is waiting out front to take her home. I start to walk her to the car, but the back door opens and Finn gets out. He stands there in cargo shorts and a T-shirt, and we look at each other for a second too long.