Surrender to Love (9 page)

    Certain she'd seen the last of him, she was surprised when he came out of the teepee and headed straight toward them. With heart in throat, she watched as he went to Rebecca, who was saddled up before Shane.
    "Goodbye Little One," he said, his hand cupping the side of her face. "You take care of yourself."
    Rebecca threw her arms around Gray Hawk's neck, clinging to him before finally letting go.
    Shane shook Gray Hawk's hand, and she didn't miss the gunmetal stare that spoke volumes where words couldn't.
    "Don't worry, I'll take care of them," Shane said in response to the unasked question.
    Jordan could see the tears swimming in Kari's eyes as she took the hand he offered. Her own throat growing tighter by the minute, she waited for him to say goodbye to her, all the while trying to convince herself this was the way it should be.
    But her defenses crumbled when he stood before her, his gray eyes staring into hers. They'd come so far together. To think she hated him not so very long ago, and now her heart was aching knowing this was to be their last goodbye. She wondered if he too was feeling the pain. He was always so good at masking his emotions, and she was curious what it was he was thinking now.
    "Gray Hawk..." She hesitated, closing her mouth, taking in every feature and the familiar proud stance. "I'll miss you," she said, her voice breaking.
    For a moment she thought he would touch her as his hand lifted toward her, but just as quickly, he dropped it to his side. "Take care, Jordan" he said, taking a step away. "I hope you get everything you want."
    Jordan was tempted to tell him that all she wanted was for him to come with them; that perhaps together they could make a future together. Yet her gaze shifted past his shoulder to his people. She swallowed hard. This was his life. These were his people, and he would never pick her over them. Her gaze returned to him and she smiled softly. "I'll never forget you--not ever." Her voice cracked, and before she said something she would surely regret, she turned her mount toward the hills.
         AS GRAY HAWK watched Jordan's back, his mind was telling him that her leaving was for the best, but his heart was telling a different story.
    Once the four disappeared out of sight, the others in the village went about their normal routine, most of them relieved to have them gone, but Gray Hawk felt their absence all the way to his soul until a sense of panic came over him. He wanted Jordan desperately, with a need he never experienced before. If she would have stayed, she would be his, but he had been the one to send her away. It had been he who had given her the freedom she so craved.
    "Your heart is sad."
    Gray Hawk looked down at Tawanka, a woman who he loved and respected, and who had taken Jordan and Kari under her wing, showing them the ways of the Cheyenne. He nodded. "Yes."
    "Perhaps you should have gone with her."
    Those were not the words he expected from Tawanka, or any one of his tribe. He was a Cheyenne warrior, their war chief, a defender of his people, and they should come first always. "But this is my home."
    She didn't reply, but there was something in the way she looked at him that made him wonder if she couldn't see into the future as she so often claimed.
    "All will be right one day. All will be right." Without another word, she left him to his thoughts.
    But the day was far too long and torturous. He tried in vain to put Jordan from his thoughts, yet the more he fought it, the more embedded she became in his memory. That night he barely ate, and went to bed early. As he lay in the teepee alone, he closed his eyes, envisioning Jordan laying there beside him, her sweet smile as she looked at him, the taste of her lips on his own, the feel of her body pressing against him in need.
    Why hadn't he taken her? Why hadn't he slated his lust? Perhaps if he had, then it would have been enough.
    What he needed more than anything was a woman. He should visit Running Deer, satisfy his craving, and hope that Jordan would be just a memory. Yet as he came to his feet, he couldn't get the vision of Jordan out of his mind. Would she so easily go into the arms of another? Right now would she be sleeping with the cowboy, while trying to get him out of her mind?
    He knew she wouldn't.
    Laying back down on the furs, he closed his eyes, hoping he would find peace.

Chapter 13
    TRAVELING WITH three females, one under the age of six, was proving to be easier than Shane originally thought it would be.
    The first day they traveled in silence, each person in their own thoughts. Now on the second day of their journey home, they were making better time than he could have possibly hoped for.
    The anticipation of seeing his son after being parted for over a month was enough to make him push the group even harder. They were all exhausted, and he could tell by the dark circles under their eyes that the four hours of sleep the night before hadn't been near enough, but he had no desire to stop. They could rest all they wanted once they reached the Triple T.
    After long hours in the saddle, Kari rode up beside him. He was surprised since she'd been avoiding him the entire trip, and he could tell by her angry expression that she was not happy.
    "Don't you think we could stop now?"
    He ignored the sharpness in her voice, knowing she was tired. Hell, they were all tired. He looked past her to where his niece rested against Jordan, who stared blankly ahead. A pang of regret and guilt assaulted him. But why should he feel bad? He had done the right thing by bringing the women with him now, although this one beside him was surely getting under his skin. "I suppose we can stop for a spell."
    "I meant for the night."
    He looked up at the sun before turning back toward her. "Got a good hour or so of daylight left."
    "Mr. Catalono, we are past the point of exhausted. I have blisters on my derriere from the rubbing of the saddle, and if I don't get something to eat soon, I'm going to scream."
    His gaze moved to where her dainty little rear made contact with the saddle. A mistake he found as his body hardened. "You're irritated with me, aren't you?" he asked in a low, smooth voice that seemed to anger her even more.
    "Trust me, I passed irritated miles ago," she replied with a sneer. "Are we going to stop?"
    His gaze lingered on her face for a long moment. He loved the way she looked when she was agitated. The way her eyes shot sparks, the way her color heightened, and the pulse at the base of her neck throbbed. She'd be one hell of a lover, he thought, his gaze drifting to where her shirt opened exposing the swell of her breasts. A sheen of perspiration glittered along the line of her collar bone. When his gaze returned to her face, her eyes were narrowed to suspicious slits.
    "Don't even think about it," she said, and turning from him, rode over to Jordan to announce they were stopping.
    From Jordan's relieved expression, he knew Kari was right--it was for the best that they stop. He was used to long hours in the saddle, the women weren't. Seeing a nice clearing in which to camp, he reined in and went over to help Rebecca and Jordan down.
    Kari was already off her horse by the time he came to help her. He didn't miss the glare she threw his way.
    "Are you happy, Miss Hoffman?" he asked mockingly.
    She planted both hands on her narrow hips. "Happy about what, Mr. Catalono?" she hissed.
    "Happy that we've stopped for you."
    With an exasperated sigh, Kari turned her back on him, knowing he was just waiting for her retort so he could continue to harass her. He loved to annoy her. Even now, when he was pushing them all to the extreme, he just couldn't resist and place all the blame on her shoulders. As her hands moved over her sore rear end, a strangled intake of breath came from his direction. The sound brought a smile to her lips as she lay a blanket out for Rebecca who was fighting sleep.
    "Miss Hoffman--Kari, could you help me with the horses?" Shane asked from behind her. Having just tucked the blanket under the girls chin, she turned to find Shane trying to hold all four thirsty horses in check. "Come on." He held two sets of reins out to her.
    Seeing that Jordan was already getting ready to prepare their dinner, Kari knew she was stuck. "Oh, all right," before ripping the reins from his grasp.
    He moved ahead of her through the brush, swearing when his hand made contact with a prickly branch. He looked back as though sensing her delight, but she masked her smile by biting the inside of her cheek.
    The horses were trying to rush forward long before Kari heard the sound of water over rocks. Once the animals had their fill, she tied them to a branch and went to her knees on the bank, cupping the water, letting it run down her face, neck, and arms. She wanted more than anything to get out of her dusty clothes and scrub herself until her skin tingled.
    She looked up and her pulse skittered to find Shane had thrown aside his shirt and stood naked to the waist. Muscular biceps moved as he soaped the hard planes of his well-defined chest. Sinew moved under his tanned skin, and Kari licked her dry lips as the water slid toward his flat abdomen and the dark path of hair that disappeared beneath the band of his pants. Her heart pounded in her ears. Why did the man have to be so virile and good-looking? Turning away from the sight, Kari willed her blood to cool.
    Sitting on the bank, she took off her boots, and rolled her pant legs to her knees. She unbuttoned her shirt until she was dangerously close to exposing her breasts. A wicked thought drifted through her mind. If seeing him unclothed did strange things to her, what if the tables were turned? She undid another button, then another for good measure.
    She knew the moment he noticed her. He went completely still. Not daring to look in his direction, she stepped into the cool water letting it lap at her calves. Cupping the water, she brought it to her face and closed her eyes as the water slid down her throat and trickled between her near naked breasts.
    "Want some soap?" His voice sounded forced, and when she turned, his gaze slipped from her chin to her breasts. Her nipples were already hard from the cold, and under his gaze they tightened more. The heat in his eyes made her pulse skip double time, and for once she felt like the one in control. She held out her hand.
    His brow arched in question, before he mumbled, "Oh, yeah, the soap." He handed her the bar that was forgotten only seconds before.
    "Thank you," she replied, trying to ignore the delicious feel of his fingers against hers as she took the bar from him.
    Shane watched her for the next ten minutes as she washed and re-washed her hair. Sure it was dirty, but that dirty? Of course, he enjoyed watching her--what hot-blooded man wouldn't? He could clearly see her rose-colored nipples through her shirt, pebble hard, straining against the white linen. She bent over, stretching the material of her breeches against her firm bottom that he ached to take within his hands, pulling her up against the length of his hard--
    "Mr. Catalono?"
    Hearing her soft voice, Shane forced his thoughts away from their dangerous wanderings. Despite the innocent look on her beautiful face, it was obvious to him she knew exactly what he was thinking by the little smirk on her lips.
    "I asked how long it would take before we reached the ranch?" she asked, one delicate brow lifted in question as she twisted the water out of her long hair. His gaze moved to her now soaked shirt. He could barely think, let alone breathe. Shaking her head, she flipped her hair forward, then quickly back again, where it hit her back with a slap.
    He swallowed so hard he was surprised she couldn't hear him gulp. She may as well be naked for all that the transparent shirt covered. "About four more days, maybe more, maybe less," he said in a strained voice. Clearing his throat, he tried to keep his eyes averted from the fetching sight, but it was impossible. He was like a man starved.
    She looked like a water nymph standing before him with her firm breasts exposed to his all-consuming gaze, and her pants clinging to shapely legs. With her wet hair slicked back off her forehead, her delicate features were even more accented. Her blue eyes appeared huge in her face as she stared at him. When she combed her fingers through her hair, she arched her back, thrusting her breasts out. He groaned inwardly.
    It was all he could do to keep his gaze from slipping past her chin as he watched her, watching him. Dark lashes were spiked from the water, her lips full and pink, and as she smiled, he caught a glimpse of straight, tiny white teeth. He'd seen the smile so rarely that the magnitude of it took his breath away.
    Kari shifted under his intense gaze. His very presence made her uneasy. He was so close she could smell his manly scent and feel the warmth of his strong body.
    "I understand Gray Hawk found you and Jordan alone on the prairie," Shane asked, sitting down on the bank, lighting a cigarette. He stared at her under long, dark lashes. "And what may I ask were the two of you doing out in the middle of this God forsaken country alone?"
    Kari squirmed under his stare. If she told him the truth, quite possibly he wouldn't take them with him to Brogan, or worse, he could wire her father thinking he was doing the right thing, when actually it would be the worst. They had never told a soul about where they truly came from. She knew from the pounding of her heart that now was not the time either.
    "Well?"
    "We were traveling west--"
    "By yourselves?" he asked, the tone of his voice saying he found it hard to believe.
    "No...with--my husband."
    His brow shot up. "Your husband?"
    Kari nodded, looking at her feet as she continued the lie. "Yes...he died."
    Shane blew a ring of smoke above his head. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it. "How did he die?"
    She'd never been any good at fabricating stories, and when she looked up, she saw the rolling water and blurted, "He drowned." Meeting his gaze again, she noticed he watched her intently, his look somewhat skeptical, but she saw a hint of sympathy there too. To her chagrin, she realized she would have preferred his scowl for once.
    "I know how tough it is to lose a spouse. A part of you dies in a way..."
    His words had the same effect as a blow to the stomach, and before she could stop herself, she asked, "Your wife?"
    All he did was nod in response. It appeared he had nothing else to say on the subject, which disappointed her. She wondered what kind of a woman Shane Catalono had married. Had she been beautiful? Certainly, she would have to be. A man like him could get anyone. Uncomfortable under his searching gaze, she waded through the water toward a large, flat rock where she stretched out.
    Shane's heart hammered mercilessly. The blood soared through his veins as Kari sat on the rock, kicked her feet in the water, then leaned back on her elbows, her face lifting to the sun as though worshiping its warmth. Her breasts strained against the shirt until he swore it would burst open. A coincidence, since he felt he would explode at any moment so tight were the pants on his crotch.
    He glanced at the water, then back at Kari, who still had her eyes closed. Slowly her lips parted looking like she was waiting for her lover. For a moment he envisioned he was that lover...the blood coursed through his veins straight to his groin.
    He ground the cigarette into the ground and dove into the frigid water.
         NO MATTER how hard Jordan tried, she couldn't keep her thoughts from Gray Hawk. In the days since she'd left his village, she thought of nothing but him. Sure, for a few minutes here and there she could focus enough on the landscape, letting her mind go blank, but then she would see something that would remind her of him and she had to fight the urge to cry.
    If her thoughts were traitorous, her dreams were downright cruel. Last night she'd dreamt of him again--his hands on her, bringing her body to life.
    "You're thinking of him again, aren't you?"
    Jordan jumped at the sound of Kari's voice. She turned to her cousin with a half-hearted smile.
    "You'll see Gray Hawk again."
    "How can you be so sure?"
    Kari shrugged. "I just believe it, that's all. Everything will be all right once we reach Brogan. I can't wait to see it. I just know things are going to work out for us. Like Shane said, we'll find jobs, and we'll start saving our money, and before you know it, we'll have the ranch."
    Kari's enthusiasm was catching, and Jordan decided the best thing to do was focus on the future and forget the past. After all, this is what they'd come west for. She wanted her ranch more than anything, and now she had to fight to keep it. She wouldn't spend her days pining away for a man that wasn't meant to be hers. He probably was with Running Deer anyway. It would do her good to put him from her mind.
    "There it is. Do you see it?"
    Both Jordan and Kari stared past Shane to the ranch in the distance. An enormous log house with a wrap around porch sat among numerous outbuildings', corrals and stables. Men who had been working stopped what they were doing, and began waving their arms in welcome.
    "Oh my gosh," Kari said under her breath, unable to help the smile that came readily to her lips. "This is huge!"
    Jordan couldn't help but grin. The Triple T was far grander than she imagined. The house itself was built of honey-colored logs, rising three stories, with a wraparound porch, and a balcony off the top level.
    If Jordan thought the outside was impressive, then the inside was everything her dreams for her own ranch were made of.
    Two enormous couches dominated the living room. A touch of culture was evident with bookcases filled with classic literature. She traced her fingers across one of the two oak side tables adorned with oil lamps. With a sigh, she settled into the folds of the only chair and admired the large stone fireplace that was set and ready for the chilly night. With an impressive glance around the room again, Jordan knew she was meant for this kind of life.
    An older gentleman with silver hair and a quick smile came into the room. Shane introduced him as Hank, the foreman of the Triple T. Hank was friendly and went out of his way to make them feel welcome.
    A minute after they sat down, a thunderous pounding came up the porch steps and a proud, beaming smile came to Shane's face as the door flew open.
    "Dad!" A boy on the brink of manhood bounded through the door. With a smile identical to Shane's, he hugged his dad. "What took you so long? I've been waiting for weeks to hear from you."
    Jordan glanced at Kari with a smile.
    "I'm sorry, Tanner, but you know I couldn't come home without Rebecca, but I'm back now, and I have another surprise."