Surrender to Love

Chapter 1
    
Richmond, Virginia
    
1850
    SHE WOULD rather die.
    It was a strange revelation, but Jordan realized she would rather die than become Marvin Johnson's wife. Glancing in the old man's direction, she cringed as he sat back in his chair, his bloated stomach straining the gold buttons of his waistcoat until it threatened to burst. Her gaze moved up to his face to find his black beady eyes watching her. His thin lips split into a smile, displaying a set of crooked, yellow teeth.
    A shudder ran through her at the thought of sharing his name, and even worse, his bed.
    Only three hours had passed since she'd learned the devastating news of her upcoming marriage to the deplorable man who was old enough to be her grandfather. Her uncle, with Marvin at his side, had said simply, "Jordan, Mr. Johnson has asked for your hand in marriage, and your aunt and I have given our consent."
    Horrified at the sudden turn her life had taken, Jordan had watched them intently, hoping it was a joke.
    Yet now, just hours after that fateful moment, a diamond ring secure on her finger, Jordan knew it was no joke and tried to find some positive qualities in her future husband. Yet all she saw was an old man with a double chin, hooked nose, thin lips, and gray receding hair, giving her little, if any, hope for the future.
    "I can hardly wait to take you home to Carlisle," Marvin said, and to Jordan's dismay, she realized his voice irritated her as well.
    Her lips trembled as she tried to smile, but failed. There was no way she was going anywhere with him, and it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him as much when her uncle abruptly cleared his throat. She glanced in his direction and read the subtle warning he sent her.
    A small, ice-cold hand grabbed hers beneath the table. She glanced at her cousin, Kari, who sat next to her, staring down at her full plate. For eleven years they'd been inseparable, telling each other every secret, every fear...everything.
     And now Jordan was sure that Kari was feeling the same revulsion over the news of her marriage, as though it were Kari herself who was going to be bound forever to the man sitting opposite them.
    "Jordan, you were asked a question."
    Jordan looked up with a start to find Patricia, Kari's stepmother, watching her with a forced smile. "Mr. Johnson asked if you would like to go to Europe for your honeymoon."
    Lifting her chin, Jordan replied, "No, I wouldn't."
    Patricia glared at her, her uncle shook his head, and Marvin smiled sardonically, as though he hadn't heard the venom in her voice.
    As conversation resumed, Jordan continued holding Kari's hand, squeezing it tightly as Marvin, her uncle, and Patricia discussed the upcoming nuptials as though she wasn't present. Patricia's daughters, nine year-old twins, watched Jordan with sly smiles on their faces, obviously enjoying every moment. Ignoring them, Jordan kept her head down and picked at her food, wishing she were any where else--particularly at her ranch in Wyoming, far away from this life and these people.
    Marvin slid his chair back abruptly, bringing her attention back to the present. "I hate to leave now, but it has been quite an eventful day and I have wedding arrangements to make."
    Jordan stood slowly, trembling as Marvin came toward her, his gaze moving down her body before coming to rest on her bosom. A sinister smile played at his lips as he took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth. Jordan flinched as his cold, dry lips touched her. When she felt his tongue against her flesh, she instinctively ripped her hand from his.
    "I will see you Wednesday," he said, his smile almost a sneer, before he turned and left.
    Holding onto the back of the chair for support, Jordan could feel her uncle's gaze burning into her. When she glanced up, his smile was triumphant.
    He raised a glass in salute. "Congratulations on a wonderful catch. Mr. Johnson is one of the wealthiest men in all of Virginia. You will have everything you want, Jordan." He drained the brandy in one swallow. "Now, don't look so down. Once you're living in that mansion in Carlisle, you will realize how lucky you are."
    Seething with fury, she replied in a shaky voice, "Lucky? To be married to a man who is old enough to be my grandfather!"
    "Jordan!" Patricia hissed.
    "I don't want to marry Mr. Johnson," Jordan replied, hating how desperate she sounded. "I want to go home. Back to Fife, to my ranch. Please, I have never asked you for anything, but now I implore you--"
    "Enough!" Her uncle slammed the glass down on the table. "You dear girl, will do no such thing. The taxes on the ranch far exceed your allowance. In fact, I have informed the bank to sell the property in order to pay them. If there is any money left over, you will receive it to do with as you please."
    
He was selling her ranch!
    The blood roared in Jordan's ears. How dare he take away the one thing most precious to her! "My father built that ranch with his own two hands. It's all I have left of my parents, and the only thing I want in this world. Uncle Frederick, I'll pay you back every cent of those taxes...please don't sell it."
    He closed his eyes and let out an unsteady breath. When he opened them a moment later, no kindness remained. "You are marrying Marvin Johnson. One day you will thank me for it." He stood, his gaze piercing into hers before he headed for the double doors.
    The twins giggled and Jordan glared at them effectively silencing them, though their sly little smiles remained. They were enjoying her agony far too much. Jordan looked to their mother, who quickly schooled her features, trying in earnest to appear compassionate, but falling short of achieving it. "Tell me, Patricia, will you do the same to your daughters? Will you marry them off to old, perverted men?"
    Patricia's mouth dropped open, then she quickly replied, "Go to your room, young lady. Right now!"
    Before leaving the dining room, Jordan stared long and hard at Patricia, a woman who had never tolerated her, and who'd gone out of her way to make her life a living hell.
    Leaving the room with her head held high, Jordan climbed the stairs. Prying the detested ring from her finger, her mind raced to find a solution.
     Slamming her bedroom door behind her, she tossed the ring on the dresser, stripped off her dress and flung it over a nearby chair. If her parents were alive, she'd be back at their ranch nestled among the Rocky Mountains, no doubt living the kind of life for which she'd always yearned. How happy she'd been in those days. Her parents had been kind, loving people who cherished her. The only person who truly cared for her since their death was Kari, and now Jordan would be living fifty miles away from her dearest friend.
    Icy fear twisted around her heart. All her dreams were fading away. Instead of moving back to Wyoming, she'd be in Carlisle with an ancient husband, attending endless social functions, of which she always abhorred. She was being forced to marry into a kind of life she'd always hated, and to a man she despised.
    Blinking against an onslaught of tears, she took a deep breath as her gaze moved to the locked trunk. "I cannot marry him."
    Going to the night stand, she lifted the lantern and grabbed the key beneath it. Her blood pumped wildly as she quickly opened the trunk and pulled out the gun. It would take a single bullet to end it--a simple solution. With trembling hand she brought the gun to her head and pressed it against her temple.
    "Forgive me, Lord," she whispered. Closing her eyes, she gently began to squeeze the trigger, imagining what life would be like if she went through with the marriage.
    Yet those images mingled with ones of her ranch, and her hand started to shake uncontrollably. "I can't!" she said in despair. Her shoulders slumped in defeat as she stared down at the small gun in her hand. She would just have to find another way to get out of marrying Marvin.
    Hearing the door to her room open then close with a soft click, Jordan shoved the gun back in the trunk and quickly wiped the tears away. She turned to find Kari watching her, her eyes swimming with tears.
    "Kari, I don't feel like company tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning-"
    "I can't believe this is happening. Why would they do this to you? I never thought Daddy could be so cruel. Patricia, yes, but Daddy, never." She ran a hand down her pale face. "Will they do the same to me, I wonder? Oh, how I hate Patricia. She has always wanted us out of Daddy's life!"
    Jordan had wondered if Kari also would meet the same fate and be married off. Although Frederick loved his daughter, Jordan believed he loved Patricia more and would do anything the woman wanted.
    Taking her chemise off, Jordan swiftly pulled on a pair of breeches, a linen shirt, socks and Hessian boots. She didn't dare glance at her cousin, but by the time she sat at the vanity, Kari stood directly behind her with hands on hips.
    "You're leaving, aren't you?"
    Meeting her cousin's accusing stare in the mirror, Jordan nodded while plaiting her hair into a braid. "I have no choice."
     "You cannot leave without me." Kari grabbed hold of her shoulders, nearly unseating her. "You cannot leave me," she repeated in a firm voice.
    Pulling Kari's hands from her shoulders, Jordan held them within her own and smiled at the young woman who had been her saving grace since her parents' death. "I cannot go through with this marriage. I would be giving up my dream of returning to my ranch. I'll grow old before my time and turn into a bitter old woman."
    "Then take me with you," Kari begged, dropping to her knees.
    "I can't take you. Your father would hunt us down and when he found us, he'd bring us back and throw us in convents." She let out an unsteady breath. "When I get settled, I promise I'll send word. You can come see me as often as you like," she said, hoping to reassure her cousin, though she knew she'd have to wait a long time before contacting her--perhaps years.
    Kari ripped her hands from Jordan's grasp and stood, her stance rigid as she turned her back on her. "You swore to me, Jordan Lee McGuire, that you would never leave me, yet here you are doing just that."
    Guilt raced through Jordan, for she had promised Kari she would never leave her. Still, at that time she never imagined being in these circumstances. "I can't ask you to leave behind everything you've ever known and loved. You could never make it in the west. There are so many threats, so many things that could go wrong. The trip itself is far too dangerous, and once we get there, it will not be an easy life."
    "I swear I could do it," Kari declared, turning to face Jordan again. "Please."
    "I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. Understand that I want to, but I just--"
    "If you don't take me, then I will tell them that you plan to leave this very night. In fact, right now."
    Jordan stared at her cousin, wondering if she were bluffing. They had sworn long ago never to tell on the other, no matter what. Her eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare?"
    Kari crossed her arms over her chest and took a step toward the door. "Either I go with you, or I tell Father and Patricia exactly what you have planned. And you know Patricia would have a guard stationed outside your door night and day until you and Mr. Johnson are wed."
    Jordan stood so fast the chair hit the floor. Kari was already at the door, her hand on the knob, when Jordan grabbed her arm and spun her around. "I can't risk it! You would never make it, and why would you want to leave? You have but to ask for something and it is yours. I have nothing. What little money I do have will not last long, then I will have to get a job."
    "I can work."
     Jordan rolled her eyes, knowing her cousin hadn't lifted a finger in all her eighteen years. "Do you know how hard we would have to work to make enough money to pay off the taxes? I only have a couple hundred dollars stashed away as it is. It will cost at least that much to get to Fife, probably more."
    "I have money," Kari said, her voice full of hope.
    "What is going on in there?" Patricia called from out in the hallway. A second later she pounded on the door.
    Jordan's breath caught in her throat.
    "What is going on?" Patricia's voice became insistent.
    Grabbing Kari by the wrist, Jordan whispered, "Swear to me that you will not say a word."
    Kari met her stare with an uplifted brow. "Only if you take me with you."
    Knowing that Kari had won the argument, Jordan released her wrist. "Fine, meet me in the stables in two hours...pack light."