Sweet Charity (16 page)

Still feeling weak but very satiated, Charity carefully lifted herself off of Jackson’s cock and kneeled beside him on the sofa.  She reached out and cupped his cheeks in her hands and leaned in and kissed him. Then looking him directly in the eyes she said, “Did I look like I was complaining Babe? That was phenomenal. I never knew that sex could feel so good until you.  You could never hurt me Jackson.”

Meanwhile a few miles down the road...

“Hey Prez, I got an update for you man,” Brains said as he sat in his truck outside the diner near Jackson’s house. 

“Ya, well what? Spit it out Brains! I got better things to do,” Tommy said over the phone.  “What the fuck is going on with that slut of an ex girlfriend of mine now?” he asked. 

Brains paused for a few minutes as he shook his head and gritted his teeth.  He was really getting pissed at the way Tommy talked to him. President or no President he struggled to keep from losing his cool, and not saying something he would regret later.

Taking a deep breath he said, “She’s been with him all weekend so far.  He took her to the Maverick’s clubhouse last night...she spent the night too,” he emphasized knowing that Charity had never once come to The Red Aces clubhouse when she and Tommy were together. “They’ve been together all day and now she’s at his place.  Seein’ that it’s getting pretty late I figure she ain’t goin’ no where tonight.” he told Tommy. “You want me to keep watch all night or come back in the morning?” he asked his President. 

“Keep your ass there!” Tommy shouted through the phone.  “Don’t go anywhere, unless you’re following on the ass of Charity and Gunner!”          

Chapter 26

Charity and Jackson spent the next couple of weeks together, almost constantly.  They only spent a few nights apart, and Jackson didn’t like it one bit when Charity wasn’t lying in bed beside him.  He’d never felt this way about a woman in his entire life, and it worried him because he couldn’t seem to reconcile in his head, that he was good enough for Charity.  The nights when he was alone, like this one in particular, he repeatedly asked himself if he could give Charity the life that she deserved.  He focused on all of the potential shortcomings that he felt he had.  He was a self proclaimed bachelor, or so he’s always told himself, he grew up in a motorcycle club for fuck sakes, and yes, the Maverick’s were no longer into criminal activities, as they had been when he was a child, but he knew that he would always be looked at differently, because he rode a bike and wore a patch.  He didn’t want Charity to be painted with that same brush. 

Then there were children and a family to consider. I mean, what they hell did he know about raising kids?  He only ever had his dad because his mother killed herself.  Fuck...he obviously wasn’t in any kind of shape to become a husband or father.  His own mother didn’t even want him.  Jackson loved his father, but Stephen had been a hard man.  Back when his father was President of The Black Maverick’s, they were still into running drugs and prostitution, amongst other illegal activities. Sure Stephen worked hard to clean up their operations, and by the time he and Hope were in their late teens, The Maverick’s were a completely different club than they had been when they were born. Jackson loved his father, and was extremely proud of him for cleaning up the club, and for raising two kids without a wife, but fuck, Stephen had been so busy with the club that he really didn’t have time to set any kind of example of how to be a good parent.

He lay in bed tossing and turning, until he really just had to get out of there.  He threw on his jeans and a Henley and pulled his cut on, then grabbed the keys for his Harley and hit the open road.  He didn’t know where he was headed but it was only a short time later until he ended up at Charity’s house. 

Charity heard the roar of a bike in the distance while she was laying in bed and immediately felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck.  She could feel goose bumps break out all over her body.  The memories of her last night in Tommy’s house returned, and it was like she was living them all over again.  For several moments, she was paralyzed by fear and she couldn’t move.  She listened as the roar came closer, until she was certain that the bike was in her driveway.  Reviewing in her head the images of her locking the doors and windows and turning the alarm on still weren’t reducing her anxiety.  Taking several deep breaths, she willed herself out of bed, grabbing her phone, as she headed out towards the front rooms of the house to peek outside.  Just as she reached the living room a knock sounded at the door.  She told herself that was a good sign, because Tommy would never knock.  He would probably knock the door down, but knocking or using the doorbell really weren’t his style. As she entered the small foyer, she heard Jackson calling out to her.  “Charity...Charity honey, are you there baby?” he asked.

Relief flooded her body, as she entered her code into the alarm pad, and fumbled to open the double deadbolt lock on the door.  Pulling the door open, she was so glad to see Jackson standing there, that she threw herself into his arms and hugged him tighter than ever before. 

“Charity, Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked her.  “You’re shaking like a leaf Babe.  I’m sorry, did I scare you showing up so late without calling?” he asked her.  “Fuck, I should have called you Babe,” he added as he carried her back inside through the door. 

“No Jackson its fine, I’m just so glad to see you,” she told him still clinging to him with her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. “What are you doing here anyway?  Didn’t you have church tonight at the club?” she asked him between kisses. 

“Yeah, I did but I decided to go home instead of staying at the club and then I just couldn’t sleep,” he told her. 

“Oh really,” she said. “You usually sleep alright when I’m with you,” she added. “What’s bothering you Babe?” she asked him.

Carrying her over to the couch he sat down with her on his lap.  “Babe it’s nothing really,” he said. “What I really want to know is, what’s got you shaking like you’ve been outside in a snowstorm without a coat?” When Charity looked down, instead of into his eyes as she normally did, Jackson placed his fingers under her chin, and turned her head, until she was once again looking him in the eyes. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing Babe because I don’t believe it,” he said.

Charity leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder and reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his, while she began to tell him about her life with Tommy, and in particular that final night living in his house. While they talked, Jackson lightly rubbed her back with his free hand and although he felt extreme anger towards Tommy, he wasn’t about to let Charity see or feel that, so he held her, caressed her, and did everything he could to comfort her, and make her feel safe.

When she had finished telling him everything Jackson said, “I’m so sorry Babe. If I had known all of this, I would never have shown up so late, especially on my bike.  I would never do anything to scare you or hurt you.”

“I know that Jackson.  I know that you would never hurt me,” she told him.  Sitting up she turned to look at him once more, and decided that the time was now for them to have another difficult discussion, and it was one that she had wanted to have with Jackson since the first night they were together. Still holding his hand between both of hers she asked him “I know that you are an amazing man Jackson. Kind, loving and good but I also know that you have don’t seem to believe that about yourself.  You told me that first night we were together that I deserved better than you.  I didn’t believe it then and I definitely don’t believe it now.  Please talk to me and tell me...why would you ever feel that way?”

“Charity honey, you are pure goodness, honest, sweet, and you do deserve a better man than me in your life,” he told her. 

“Jackson, no...don’t say that! It’s not true,” she said as she turned in his lap so that she now straddled him. She placed her arms loosely around his neck.  “Why would you think that?” she asked as she lovingly caressed the back of his neck.

“Babe, I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life.  Club life is not all tidy and pretty.  Don’t forget, I grew up when the club was still into illegal activities, and as the club president’s son, I was involved in some of those things,” he said as Charity continued to stroke him.  “I may have just been a kid, but there were things that as my father’s son, I was expected to do, kid or no kid. Even before that though babe, I knew that I was...not good enough,” he told her as his voice cracked a little.

Charity placed her hands on the sides of his face, moving her fingers through the roughness of his beard.  “Baby tell me,” she said. Jackson looked at her and couldn’t comprehend why this precious woman, who had obviously been terrified by her previous biker boyfriend, was still sitting here on his lap, looking him lovingly in the eyes, while he told her about the things he wasn’t very proud of.  She had tears streaming down her cheeks as she listened to him.

Jackson took a deep breath, and then he told her about his mother, about her depression, her post partum depression, the drugs, and finally about her suicide. By the time he finished that tears were slowly running down his face too.  Charity had remained silent through it all, not commenting, not judging, just holding him, as he held her.  He felt like a child, one with a secret, that screamed to come out.  She gave him a look of encouragement, almost begging him, letting him know it would be okay.  He finally said, “Charity, my mother didn’t even love me enough to stay with me.” 

When he said those final words of the story, that she knew he needed to tell her, Charity threw her arms around him, and hugged him tightly, as she cried along with him, and rocked him in her arms all the while repeating the words, “Yes she did Baby, yes she did. She was sick Jackson that’s all.  It was the depression and the drugs Baby, not you.”

They held each other until finally their tears stopped flowing.  When Charity sat back a little in Jackson’s lap she dried Jackson’s cheeks with her fingers while he dried hers with his.  Then she said, “You are one of the kindest, most generous, loving men I ever known in my life. You helped your father take The Black Maverick’s from a criminal organization, to the group of honest, hardworking, loyal and charitable men that you all are now.  You are the leader of that group of men, and if you don’t think they look up to you, then you clearly don’t see what I have seen, since I’ve had the good fortune to have met them all.  I knew before I even met the rest of your brothers that, Rocker and Rebel looked up to you.  I used to see it every day when they were working on
Sweet Charity’s
with you.  They worship you Jackson.” 

“You are an intelligent man, a very hard worker, who owns a successful legitimate business in this town, and I know that you are considered a leader in our community, not just within The Black Maverick’s.  I also know about your charity work for the children’s hospital.  I know what a loving and caring brother you are to Hope,” she said. “But Jackson, what I know most of all, is the kind of man you are when you are with me. You are gentle and kind, respectful and loyal, you make me feel beautiful and cared for and loved.  Jackson...I love you because you are all of those things and you wouldn’t be without whatever your past holds.  It is what has made you the man you are today,” she told him.  “So you hear me Jackson McKay when I tell you, you are more than good enough, and in case you didn’t hear me before, I love you.”

Once again there were tears running down Charity’s cheeks as Jackson leaned forward and kissed her.  Then pulling back a little, he looked into those gorgeous green eyes of hers and said, “I love you too Charity.  I’ve known for a very long time.  Since way before I ever asked you out.  If you had turned me down when I asked, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but I might have had to kidnap you, and ride off with you on my bike,” he said as he laughed.  “I think I actually fell in love with you the very first time I laid eyes on you.”

They sat together on the couch just cuddling with one another for a while longer until Jackson caught Charity yawning.  “Babe, come on. You need your rest.” He stood up, and reaching down, picked Charity up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. She made him put her down so she could use the bathroom, wash her face and brush her teeth while he brushed his and then helped her into bed.  That night, they didn’t make love, rather they just held each other.  They both slept more peacefully than ever knowing that they had declared their love for one another and that love would help them overcome the past and whatever the future may hold.