Sweet Trouble (21 page)

She took a sip of coffee, then nearly choked when a familiar male voice said, “You get more beautiful every year. I’m never going to find someone who measures up to you.”

She turned, shrieked, set her coffee cup on the deck and raced toward the tall, good-looking man standing on the stairs.

“Raoul! You’re here! What are you doing here? You didn’t call. Does Hawk know about this? Are you okay?”

She threw herself at him and he caught her and held her just as tight. “You look good,” she said, taking in the strong, handsome face, the well-cut clothes.

“Thank you. I’ve been working out.”

She laughed at the joke, then motioned for him to follow her inside.

Raoul did more than work out. He’d just signed with the Dallas Cowboys after graduating from Oklahoma, where Hawk had gone.

“Did you get that investment material I e-mailed you?” she asked as they entered the kitchen. “You can only spend so much of your signing bonus. You need to think of your future. You won’t be in the NFL forever.”

Raoul hugged her again and then kissed her cheek. “You always worry about me. If not about my grades, then who I’m dating and if she’s good enough for me. You’re—”

“Do
not
say I’m like your mother. I’ll be forced to kill you.” There were only ten years between them. Nicole didn’t need any more help feeling old. The current state of her life was enough to leave her exhausted.

“You were born to nurture,” he said instead.

“An average save. Not a great one, and I expect greatness from you.”

“I know.”

They smiled at each other.

Nicole had met Raoul five years ago, the same day she’d met Hawk. Raoul had been a senior in high school, dating Hawk’s daughter and living on the streets. It had been weeks after Jesse had left. Nicole had offered Raoul a place to stay and they’d been family ever since. In many ways she thought of him as a replacement for Jesse…only he’d managed not to screw up his life.

Except Jesse hadn’t screwed up hers, either. Not for the past five years.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. Everything. You don’t want to hear about it.”

He led her to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. “Sit. Tell me what’s happening.”

She sat. “Jesse’s back.”

He settled across from her. His lack of surprise made her think Hawk had probably already told him that.

“And?” he asked.

“And I just don’t know anything.”

She began slowly, telling him about her sister’s unexpected arrival. The words came faster and faster, the confusion about what to think, Jesse’s business plan, the fire, how she, Nicole, seemed to have turned into a bitch.

“She’s my sister. Of course I love her. Why am I doing this?”

“Because you’re afraid of getting hurt again.”

Nicole stared at him. “What?”

“She hurt you before by leaving. What if she leaves again? So you hold back. You’ve always had a giving heart, Nicole. That’s why you love so much. But you’re afraid.”

Was that it? As simple as that? Fear of being rejected by Jesse again?

Tears filled her eyes. “When did you get so smart?”

“About eighteen months ago. It was a Thursday.”

She laughed, which helped her control the tears. “I miss having you around. Now you’re moving to Dallas. What’s up with that?”

“You know how much they paid me.”

“So you’re saying you can be bought?”

He grinned. “Absolutely.”

“I’m so proud of you, Raoul.”

He squeezed her hand.

She wiped her face. “Okay, enough about my problems. Are you seeing anyone? Because that last girl you brought home was way too snotty for my taste. Can’t you find a nice girl?”

“You don’t think any of them are good enough for me.”

“You’re right about that. But we can always hope for a miracle.”

Jesse grinned. “The bread ovens are perfect. The heat’s even, the racks are close together, which isn’t a problem because brownies are flat. We bake them there, cool them, then run them across traffic at six in the morning.”

Claire winced. “Tell me everyone is crossing at the corner.”

Jesse laughed and patted her arm. “You’re such a worrier.”

“I can’t help it.”

They moved into the front of the rented restaurant where controlled chaos ruled. “All the shipping and order-taking happens here. Most of our orders come in online which is much easier than answering the phone. We have our specialized boxes, our packing material. We stack the ready-to-go packages over there.”

Claire turned in a slow circle. “Very impressive. I can’t believe how fast you’ve pulled this all together.”

“I know. It’s been great. Normally after a fire like we had, we’d need to shut down or at least lay people off. We’ve hired more. Business is great. Specializing in just a couple of items has cut down on our inventory needs. We can get bigger discounts because we’re buying a few items in larger bulk.”

She drew in a breath. Claire nodded, but there was a slight glaze to her expression. “I’ve lost you,” Jesse teased. “You’re so not into this.”

“No, it’s great.” Claire shrugged. “Okay. Maybe not. I guess I don’t have the bakery in my veins as much as I thought.”

“You’re forgiven. I’ve never been able to play the piano.”

Jesse frequently wondered what quirk of DNA had allowed her sister to be such a brilliant pianist. How did that happen? Was it deliberate or just one of those things?

Claire picked up an order form. “I can’t believe you pulled all this together so fast.”

“You’re not alone in that.” Jesse held up both hands. “Sorry. Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m trying to work on my attitude.”

“Still frustrated by Nicole?”

“Yes. And myself for letting her get to me.” Jesse crossed her arms over her chest. “I keep playing the same conversation over and over in my head. She didn’t trust me. She still doesn’t trust me. She wants me to fail. Then I tell myself that she needs more time, that we’re slowly working things out. Blah, blah, blah. I want to move on.”

“You want things back the way they were,” Claire said softly. “You want the bad stuff to have never happened.”

“That, too,” Jesse admitted. “But there’s a fantasy that will never be fulfilled. The situation exists. It can’t be changed.”

“She never stopped loving you,” Claire told her. “She missed you all the time.”

Jesse tried to find comfort in that. “Then why didn’t she get in touch with me? You did. I wasn’t that hard to find.”

“Nicole is different.”

“Stubborn. The Queen of Stubborn.”

“You share that title.”

Jesse didn’t say anything because she thought Claire might be right.

“She could have sent a postcard,” she grumbled.

“So could you.” Claire sighed. “She wanted to reconnect, but I don’t think she knew how.”

“Because she wasn’t ready to forgive me for something I didn’t do.”

“She didn’t know that.”

“I tried to tell her and she wouldn’t listen. She thought she knew everything. She thought I was the kind of person who would sleep with my sister’s husband.”

That’s what hurt the most. That Nicole had believed the worst about her.

“So Nicole isn’t the only one who has to think about offering forgiveness.”

Jesse opened her mouth and closed it. Was that the next step? Forgiving Nicole for thinking badly of her? Was Jesse ready for that?

“I’m very comfortable being right,” she admitted.

“We all are. But sometimes it’s a lonely place.”

“Excellent choice,” she murmured as Gabe went chasing after the car down the hallway. “He loves it.”

“I did a lot of research online,” Matt told her. “This had the highest rating.”

She wasn’t surprised he’d taken the time to find the toy, then buy it. The Matt she knew had always been thorough and thoughtful. When they’d been together, he’d taken care of her.

While he played with his son, she allowed herself to think about what Paula had said a few days before. How everything would have been different if Matt hadn’t found out about Nicole’s accusations the way he did. If she, Jesse, had been able to tell him herself.

Would they have made it? Would he have offered her that diamond ring? She knew she would have accepted his proposal. She would have been terrified of screwing up everything, but she’d loved him too much not to try.

She tried to imagine what their life would have been like, if only things had gone differently. Gabe would have grown up knowing his father. There might even be other children. She and Matt would have been together over five years now. An old married couple.

Happy, she thought wistfully. They could have been happy.

Later, Matt helped put Gabe to bed. He supervised the ritual of him brushing his teeth, then tucked him in bed and read him a story. Jesse sat curled up in a corner chair, watching the two of them together, feeling heartsick over all Gabe and Matt had missed.

Because she hadn’t just cheated the man she’d loved, she’d also cheated her child.

When Gabe had fallen asleep, she and Matt crept out of his room. She shut the door, then led the way back into the family room.

“He goes to bed early,” Matt said, glancing at the clock.

“He still needs a lot of sleep. He was taking naps until his last birthday.”

Matt nodded without saying anything. She had a feeling he was thinking he should know that.

“How late will my mom be out?” he asked.

“They’re going to dinner, then catching a late movie.” This was the first time Paula and Bill had gone out together. Jesse was excited for them but Matt didn’t seem that thrilled.

“You okay here on your own?”

She nodded. Being by herself with Gabe wasn’t anything new. She’d lived it for years.

Guilt flared up inside of her and made her hate herself. She looked at the man she’d wanted to love forever and wished everything could have been different.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, wanting to get it all out at once. “I’m really sorry I kept Gabe from you. You were right about all that. I knew you didn’t believe me and I couldn’t seem to see past that. I kept waiting for you to come after me, to find me and tell me you were wrong or at least that you were willing to listen to me. I never thought about it from your perspective. That you hadn’t believed me when I said the baby was yours. I should have given you another chance to know him. I should have called when he was born.”

She paused because her throat hurt and it was hard to get out the words. She felt awful inside.

“I was wrong,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Matt stood there, looking at her, judging her, she knew. “I can’t get that time back.”

It was like he’d stabbed her. “I know.”

“You didn’t have the right.”

If only she could go back in time and undo all her mistakes.

He reached out and grabbed her, then pulled her close. “Dammit, Jesse, what am I going to do with you?”

Before she could figure out what he meant, his mouth was on hers.

The kiss was hot and tempting, an unexpected reaction to their conversation. He held her against him as if he would never let go.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful? she thought as she gave in to the sweet, erotic pressure of his lips on hers. She kissed him back, pressing against him, trying to let her body speak for her. Trying to let it say how much he mattered, how sorry she was, how she wanted things to be different.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding on as if she would never let go. When his tongue swept across her lower lip, she parted for him and groaned when he pushed inside.

They teased each other, touching, brushing, circling. He ran his hands up and down her back, then raised them and cupped her face.

“I want you, Jess,” he breathed.

Magic words, she thought as her blood heated and need made her insides quiver. Words she’d waited a long time to hear.