Taken by Rage: Rage Ryders MC (10 page)

D
amnit! I did it again, I let my emotions lead me instead of holding strong. I don’t want to be that girl. How come I can do it with everyone but Kid. He’s the one I trust more than anyone else. Even my folks and my sisters. Even all the brothers in the club and most of them have become as close to me as the girls are to me. Why can’t I hold my own when it comes to my man? I just hung up the phone! Oh no, I hung up on him! I’ve never done that before; I wonder if he’s mad at me. Even afterward with the text I’m still double guessing myself with him. I need to get back to the strong place I was with him.

We need to move up operation get even with Tumbler so I can get some of my emotional strength back and no more pathetic, weak little Riley. Not even with Kid! I want to hold my own with him as well, I don’t want to be the weak Ol’ lady that rolls whenever her Ol’ man says to. Nope, I want to in the comfort of my own space be able to tell him he’s been a jackass. Yep! That time starts now Riley!

Pull your big girl panties up and even if it’s just by text let him know where you’re at. He can’t keep growling and taking his shit out on you. You’ve grown and come into your own, you have a right for your voice to be heard. You’re just as important in this relationship as he is and he needs to learn when to cool those jets.

Me:
Kid, I’ve taken a few minutes to think over our phone conversation. I’m very upset and disappointed in the way you spoke with me. I deserve better, especially from you!

I sit for a few minutes nervously biting on my thumb cuticle waiting for his reply. Hoping I didn’t come across too strong to him. The new me is new to both of us. I hope he can grow with me instead of away from me. I want us to grow strong, I love him but at the same time this can only happen as long as he’s willing to let me leave my passive side behind and not necessarily become aggressive, but more of a passive-aggressive me.

A little of both depending on the circumstances I guess. Please grow with me baby, don’t let me go and stay stuck in this rut were in now. My phone pings with an incoming text, I feel my hands shake and my stomach become nauseous at the thought of what he’s thinking and will respond with.

Fuck! It’s just mom,

Mom:
Missing my family, wondering if when all the men are home if you girls would feel up to dinner with all of us? That way you can see the new house your dad and I got. The prospects will have us moved in and help me unpack before dad gets home. It can be a housewarming and family dinner all in one.

Sadie:
Sounds like a wonderful idea mom.

Shit, must be a damn group text. I have butterflies in my stomach and they wanna talk about food. I sigh, it’s not their fault, guess I should contribute to the conversation.

Me:
Sure mom, whatever you want just let me and Sadie girl what you’d like for us to bring and we’ll help out. Love you

If there’s more to the conversation I don’t respond, enough said as far as I’m concerned. I decide to take a shower and help the time pass while waiting on Kid to respond. He’ll respond Riley, he’s never not regardless if you’ve made him mad or ignored him. He’s never let you off till you gave in and spoke back to him. He may just be with the brothers and unable to text right now...Yeah, that’s it. I convince myself and get my belongings together for a nice, warm shower where I can let my worries was away.

Twenty plus minutes later I find myself getting out of the shower, skin red from the nice scrub I gave myself and feeling relaxed and refreshed. I go about my routine I have for after my showers, mostly consisting of, lotion everywhere except the areas that aren’t meant for it, put baby powder in the areas where I’m known to sweat extra, body spray and put my jammies on and comb my hair putting some bio-silk in it to help with the fizziness and tangles. There, I feel like me and ready to take on what comes next.

I put on my slippers because walking on a floor after taking a shower is just eww...anyway. I wonder if he’s had time to respond to my text. I’ll find out after I clean up my mess. I can’t stand to have my body feel refreshed and then leave my bathroom in a mess. What’s the use in cleansing the body if you leave the mind cluttered looking at a mess that only takes a few minutes to clean up?

I’ve never understood Sadie’s clean twice a week scenario, just because it just turns around and gets dirty again when the next person uses it doesn’t mean you should leave your shit laying around I don’t know how many times we’ve had it out, until mom finally put us in rooms across the hall from each other that had their own bathrooms instead of us sharing a Jack and Jill bathroom. Now that I’m older though, I miss those days. I miss slapping her gorgeous face with a towel when she had some nasty things come out her mouth. She always thought she was cute, which she usually was, but I wasn’t gonna give that to her.

Sure enough, I walk into my room and hear pinging. Once again alerting me to a text message. I cross my fingers hoping for a non-confrontational message.

Kid:
Baby doll, there is nothing for you to be upset over. I fucked up! Uncle Jed is goin through something, I got upset ‘cause he asked to keep you ladies out of it. And if you didn’t listen and went all gung-ho, you make your man look bad. Sky doesn’t give a damn, and I know her, she wouldn’t have stopped her poutin and getting you and Sades involved. I need a time out Riles. I need the drama to have a break and Uncle Jed’s right, he needs time to sort this shit himself before you all stampede in. I love ya baby, please forgive me. I’m proud of ya by the way. Keep up the hard work babe. I won’t be in contact for a while. See ya soon.

Kid just made me swoon, he just said the words that were perfect for me. He’s my perfect, my always.

A
fter the high of the call with Kid I fell asleep dreaming of a new me and a strong relationship Kid and I have with no breakable ties. I must have slept later than normal cause I wake up from the best dream to my bed bouncing up and down. I open one eye to see what the annoying thing is that has my bed dancing. Wouldn’t you know it, its trouble one and trouble two.

“I’m sleeping, can’t a girl sleep in every once in a while? My boss gave me the day off, no computers, no annoying club brothers coming in asking me to check on this or that. I was supposed to be annoyance free today ladies. So, please tell me you have one, just one really damn good reason to be bouncing me up and down on this bed, making my shoulder throb when it should be doing anything but!”

I get a look of resignation, neither of these extremely intelligent women remembered my shoulder wound. You’ve got to be kidding me, they were both there when it happened. What on earth could be so important that this tid bit of information could leave their brains and land under their feet? The give me an apologetic look both of them knowing I’m fixing to let them have it.

Sky clears her throat gaining my attention, then gives Sadie a look telling her she’s got it covered. See, I know these looks I’ve been on the receiving end of them for a while now so none of this shit is getting past me. I may be blond but nothing is going over and past my head here, so they need to step it up here. I’m not a happy camper that I was woken in the first place.

“So Riles, Sadie and I have been up for a bit and I got a call from Kaci. She said that Travler had a late night and came to her house drunk and out of it. Said he was up till about an hour ago giving her the riot act about not letting his brother have what’s his and she needs to shut it down before he does. She was asking what the fuck was up with Travler’s ass because she hasn’t ever heard him talk like this before. She says he freaked her out because all he’s made it like their relationship would ever be is friendship and nothing beyond that would be possible.”

She slows only long enough to catch her breath and continues.

“So any who, she wants us over to take care of that issue you have with him because now she’s got her own issue with him and she wants him to get what’s coming to his ass. She’s even agreed to be lookout when he wakes. I guess they’ve got plenty to talk about that she’d be able to keep him busy for a couple hours at least.”

“Okay, let me get dressed and pull my hair back, you two gather supplies and let’s get this done! Operation teach Travler a lesson is on the agenda for today. We’ve got to make it good, especially after he’s pulling this alpha bull-shit on Kaci. She’s been kind enough to offer him a place to stay outside of the club since he ‘claims he’s tired of the babes and all the partying’, which we all know is a lie. We now have two reasons to make his day one to remember. Meet in living room in thirty-minutes. Enough time?”

I look at the girls they shake their head ‘yes’ and we all go in opposite directions to get done what needs to in order to pay Travler back for his childish ways.

BROTHERS!

They are the biggest babies of them all. You know what they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall. I love hearing big bangs. It means another one bites the dust. Oh shit, now that damn songs stuck in my head. Need music like ASAP! Lincoln Park! That will get this song out of my head. Where is my Transformers Movie CD at? Need something good. I tear my nightstand apart looking for it, I know that’s where I put it. Kid threatened to hide it from me but he wouldn’t would he? I go into his closet and open his backpack he uses for working out and wouldn’t you know it. There it is, hmm…he’s just jealous.

Anytime my band comes on rather he’s talking to me or not, it goes up and he is tuned out. Maybe he needs a lesson as well, gonna have to think hard on this one, his needs to be extra special. Ryder and Travler’s are small compared to what he’s getting for hiding my CD. Taking away my one and only cleaning CD, work out CD and not to mention my driving CD!

Ugh, I’m definitely gonna have to see what my girls think a good pay back is on this one. Oh, oh no, I got this, I know what to do! Oh shit, I don’t need the girls this one’s all mine! I need to get a-hold of his I-pod when he gets back while he’s sleeping. This is going to be so much fun! I’m going to burn his songs on a disc, then upload Celine Deon onto his I-pod after a few of his songs where he won’t know until he’s away from the house.

I hope he shares his music; this is going to be classic. Don’t mess with your woman’s music, ever. Bye-bye rock n roll, hello Celine Deon and the biker…I can’t help but crack up on the inside as I imagine Kid’s face as he loses his music and is suddenly hit with Celine’s top twenty hits. I can’t wait to let my inner bitch out for this one. Its music war 101, and I’ll make sure it’s a war I win. Never scrap with me over my Lincoln Park or Transformers again. They are
Mine
and I don’t take kindly to those who take them away from me.