Tao (7 page)

He was right. Mimi’s granny had wanted to know everything.

“What is your favourite food, Tao?”

“When did your parents get separated, Tao?”

“How far away does your dad live, Tao?”

“How old are his twins, Tao?”

“How old is Jo, Tao?”

“Is she married to your dad, Tao?”

“How do you feel about finding out you have a twin sister after all these years, Tao?”

“Does Kate work in the vegetable shop every day, Tao?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Tao?”

“Who is your best friend, Tao?”

On and on until Mimi’s grandad stopped her. “Leave the boy alone, woman!” he told her. “You’re worse than the CIA!”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” chipped in Mimi.

“And too many cakes made her fat!” added the grandad with a big laugh. Granny pursed her lips when he said that.

“Don’t mind that old fool,” said Granny and was about to start firing more questions at me, but Mimi dragged me away to meet her cousin Emma.

“Who was, what’s his name – the hippy chap?” asked Dad.

“George?”

“Yes. That guy. Is he Sally’s boyfriend? Because if he is, he’s a brave boy!” laughed Dad. “She’s a fierce young lady. I wouldn’t step on her toes, Tao.”

I had no intention of stepping on Sally’s toes. Adults say the most stupid things sometimes.

“She cornered you too, didn’t she?” he added.

“She wanted to know all about The Happy Pear,” I told him. “She wanted to know did it sell organic vegetables and whether we bought our fruit and veg locally and did Kate grow any vegetables herself and then she gave me a lecture about the carbon footprint of food that comes from faraway lands. I didn’t understand half of what she said.”

Dad laughed.

“Well, she should get on well with your mother!” he said. “They’re both fanatics.”

I felt a bit fed up when he said that. I wished he could for once say something about Kate that didn’t sound just a bit nasty. Then he got a call from the desk to say that Paul and Mimi had arrived and so had his taxi.

“You be good, Tao,” said Dad as he hugged me before getting into the taxi. “And don’t let this little minx lead you into mischief!” he teased, tweaking Mimi’s nose.

“Don’t worry, we’ll look after him,” called out Paul as the taxi pulled away. Mimi took my hand and we both waved. I was glad that Kalem and David weren’t there to see me holding a girl’s hand.

For the next two days before Kate came, I slept in Conor’s room on a mattress on the floor. He said he would sleep on the mattress and I could take the bed, but I said that I would prefer the mattress. Mimi came in in her nightie and gave me a big hug goodnight. “And don’t let the bugs bite!” she called cheerfully. Then she stuck out her tongue at Conor and ran off to her room laughing.

“If Mimi is your sister and I am her brother and you are her brother,” said Conor from his bed, “then what are we to each other, Tao?”

It was very dark in the room. We couldn’t see each other and that somehow made it easier to talk. I had been a bit worried about Conor. He seemed very friendly, but he was already a teenager with spots and I was afraid he might not be bothered with me.

“Brothers, I suppose,” I said.

“But you support Wolves and I support Man U,” he said in a serious voice, “which is bad news. No brother of mine can support Wolves. Sorry.”

“What’s wrong with Wolves?” I asked. I hoped that he was only messing.

“They’re rubbish,” he said. “But it’s not too late to change, Tao. You could support a good team like Man U. What do you think? Then I’d let you be my brother.”

I thought about my answer to that for a moment.

“You are obviously considering it,” said Conor.

“Well. No,” I had to tell him. “Some things are more important than brothers. Like supporting your football team, no matter what.”

It was Conor’s turn to be quiet now.

“You’re right, Tao” he said at last. “No brother of mine would change football teams just like that. You’ve passed the test. I’ll let you be my brother. Shake.”

My eyes were growing used to the darkness and I could see Conor’s hand reaching out. I shook it. It was a strong man’s handshake.

“I didn’t know that it was a test,” I said.

“It wasn’t really,” answered Conor. “I just made that up. Goodnight, bro.”

Earlier in the day, Conor and Sally had had a big fight because Conor wanted to practise his drums in the shed and Sally would not allow him because Scottie would be traumatized. I was watching telly with Mimi, but it was really wild. Sally was screaming that Conor was selfish and self-centred and didn’t give a damn about bursting the eardrums of a poor chick barely one day old and Conor was shouting back that his drums weren’t half as bad as her screaming … but his voice was doing this weird thing – it was changing from really low to really high.

“His voice is breaking,” explained Mimi. “It happens to boys. It will happen to you too, Tao.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

“Can it be fixed?” I asked.

Mimi thought for a moment. She didn’t seem too sure.

“We’ll ask Orla when she comes. She knows everything.”

So now we were watching “Southsiders”, the worst soap ever, and listening to Conor and Sally having World War III. Not that Mimi seemed to notice, even though the house shook when Sally slammed her bedroom door.

“Sally gets very cross, doesn’t she?” I said.

“It’s just hermoans going crazy,” answered Mimi, her eyes glued to the telly. She really seemed to like this programme. Girls are very strange.

“Her what?”

“Hermoans. Aunty B told me all about it. It happens to all girls when they become teenagers.”

“Oh,” I said. I was very confused.

“It’ll happen to me too.” Mimi shrugged. “I will shout at everyone and go mad and cry and put rings in my nose and slam doors and wear black and be moody and rude to everyone… Just like Sally. My moans will be all over the place.”

“How come Conor isn’t like that?” I said. “He is a teenager.”

“It doesn’t happen to boys,” explained Mimi. “That’s why they are called hermoans and not hismoans.”

“It all sounds a bit mad to me,” I said.

“Oh, don’t worry about it!” laughed Mimi. “It’s just a girl thing.”

Then the doorbell rang and it was Mimi’s friend Orla, who said that she had come to give me the “once-over” … whatever that meant. Right behind her, coming up the driveway, were Mimi’s cousins, Emma and Emmett. Emmett had come to practise with Conor’s rock group.

It was strange spending all afternoon with girls. Kalem and David would have teased me about it, but it was fun. Orla and Emma gave me and Mimi a twin test. They asked questions that we had to answer straight away and together.

Orla: Favourite colour?

Mimi and Tao: Red.

Emma: Lucky number?

Mimi and Tao: Ten.

Orla: Star sign?

Mimi and Tao: Pisces (of course … duh! … we are twins!)

Emma: Favourite food?

Mimi and Tao: Chocolate.

“Uncanny,” said Orla. “You really are twins!”

Then she told one of her jokes.

“Did you hear about the Mexican woman who had twin boys?”

“I’m not going to get this joke, am I?” said Mimi.

“No, probably not,” said Orla.

“What’s the answer?” said Emma, impatiently.

“She called one Hose A and the other Hose B.”

There was silence for a moment. Mimi wasn’t the only one who didn’t get it. Then Emma said, “I think I get it, Orla,” and then she laughed. But it sounded a bit forced. Then she added, “No … maybe I don’t…”

Orla sighed and shook her head.

“Let’s see how Scottie is coping with the racket,” she said and Mimi led the way out to the shed.

Later that night as we lay in our beds, Conor asked, “So what did you think of our rock group, Tao?” I was glad it was dark and he couldn’t see my face.

“You’re loud,” I said, which I don’t think was what he wanted to hear. He went quiet for a moment.

“The chicks liked us,” he said and laughed. “Sally was wrong about that.”

In fact, two more eggs had hatched while they were playing.

“The chicks always love rock ’n’ roll,” George had said. He wanted to call them the Rock Chicks but Sally wouldn’t allow it.

“They are not pets,” she said. “They are working animals who will have to earn their keep. So no names, except for Scottie, and that’s final.”

Aunty B, who had arrived to collect Emma and Emmet, agreed with her. “You don’t name farm animals,” she said. “You don’t want to know a chicken’s name when one day you will have to wring that chicken’s neck.”

“Aw, Mum!” said Emma. “No one is going to wring the Rock Chicks’ necks! Are they, Sally?”

Sally didn’t answer that. She just hammered another long nail into the chicken house she was building with George.

“It might not be a thing of beauty, man,” said George, stepping back to admire their work, “but it’s … cool!”

“What do you think of Sally’s chicken coop, Tao?” asked Conor from his bed.

“Well, it is solid,” I answered, because I couldn’t think of anything else good to say about it.

“It’s solid, all right,” said Conor. “Big and ugly but definitely solid! Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I answered sleepily. It had been another good day but now all I wanted to do was sleep. Tomorrow evening Kate would be here. I wondered what she’d make of this big noisy family.

We met Kate off the airport bus. The bus stop was in the middle of the main street and there were a lot of people around but Kate didn’t care.

“Tao!” she called out as soon as she stepped off the bus. She dropped both her bags and wrapped me up in one of her special hugs. “ImissedyouImissedyouImissedyou,” she said over and over, putting kisses all over my face. I wished she’d stop.

“It’s only been three days,” I tried to say.

Then Kate saw Mimi and I could see what was going to happen.

“Mimi!” she said, and her arms opened and now it was Mimi’s turn to be hugged to death. “Iloveyoualready. IdoIdoIdo!”

I wondered what Mimi would make of my mad mother, but she seemed quite happy. Paul just stood there with a big smile on his face. Even his eyes seemed to be grinning. Everyone who passed by glanced at us and smiled. It would have been so embarrassing at home, but nobody knew me here so I didn’t mind so much.

“Paul!” said Kate, releasing Mimi at last.

“Your mum is funny,” Mimi whispered in my ear while Kate gave Paul a big hug too, but not quite such a big squeeze. At least I hoped not.

“She’s also completely insane,” I whispered back to Mimi and she giggled.

Back at the house, Conor and Sally got hugs too. Conor kept his hands by his sides and went all red, but Sally gave a big hug back, which wasn’t what I expected.

“I want to see these chicks that I’ve been hearing all about,” said Kate, gently pushing Sally towards the back door as if she knew the way, and Sally was laughing!

So we were all out in the shed, but not before Kate had met Sparkler and practically hugged her too and now the dog was jumping all over Kate and Paul had to pull her off and lock her in the house.

The three chicks were in a box of sawdust under the heat lamp and Sally was explaining all about them to Kate and how they had to be kept at 35 degrees of heat until they were bigger and could go in the hen house.

I wasn’t sure which chick was which anymore, but Mimi pointed at one of them and said that that was Scottie and that I had named him, and Kate smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder and asked could she pick the chick up.

“Of course,” said Sally, even though she had not let anyone touch the chicks before!

Of course, Kate got all soppy when she was holding the chick.

“Aw!” she crooned as the tiny chick cheeped. “Chicks are so much cuter than rats.” And she winked at me.

“You mean mice,” I corrected her.

“You take him,” she said and she passed the chick to Mimi, who glanced across at Sally first, then held the warm little bundle to her face. Sally picked up another one and passed it to me. You could feel its bones underneath the fluff. It was weird. Nearly as weird as Sally being friendly.