Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (33 page)

As I had done minutes before, Austin gave me every part of him, with no humiliation or shame. He gave me him, and he let me take all that I needed without restraint. My eyes continued to move over his beautiful body. I took in the ink that covered nearly every inch of his left side, apart from the blank space over his heart—that was about the size of two fists. The images moved into his right side and covered both his arms. They were filled with color that still made my breath catch at the beauty that was all Austin.

And then my eyes moved lower down his muscled torso, to his hips. He had a runner’s body, although I hadn’t really known Austin to run. He was thin and lean and muscled in all the right places.

Kicking my feet gently off the sandy bottom of the lake, I felt my body glide backward smoothly through the water. Austin’s eyes glimmered as he lowered his front into the water, doing a quick breaststroke toward me. With me swimming on my back and Austin on his front, our connection was powerful and magical. The water between us vanished as his body slipped over mine. His arm moved around my waist, holding my front to his as he pushed us deeper into the center of the lake. When he righted our bodies, I knew he was still able to touch the bottom, but I couldn’t.

It was in that moment, that I realized Austin’s naked flesh was against mine, for the very first time. And it was beautiful. He was burning at a deliciously hot temperature and I pressed myself closer to him still, feeling my body slide against his smooth wet skin.

Not quite knowing what to say, I said a breathless, “Hi.”

Austin grinned. It was clear he wasn’t nervous at all, but I could see he was trying to keep his energy low and calm for me—because I was most definitely nervous. “Hey, beautiful girl.”

I blushed, circling my arms around his shoulders and drawing myself closer into his chest. When the tips of my breasts connected with his chest I felt my belly flutter as though it housed a million butterflies, and I gasped. He groaned low in his throat, but he pulled me tighter against him before I could pull away.

“Austin,” I breathed his name. I was feeling so many emotions; I couldn’t decipher which was the most prominent. I felt nervous and wonder and excitement and pleasure. All the while, those emotions warred with lust and need and want and desire. Yes, I was under no illusion that I wasn’t consumed with desire for Austin.

“Let me in on whatever’s going on in your mind, sweetheart,” he said quietly, but there was no mistaking it was a command. He didn’t want me losing myself to fear or anxiety.

“I’m feeling,” I paused, not knowing how to continue. I was embarrassed.

“I’ll go first,” he promised. “I feel happy that you felt comfortable enough to share your body with me. I feel excited that we’re here like this, so close, with no barriers.” I blushed and his voice deepened. “My body is reacting to yours the way it should, Madison. I want you so badly right now, but I also know that now isn’t the time.”

“Why?” I asked the word before I’d even thought it through. I hadn’t been thinking about this moment being the moment I wanted to give myself to him completely. But the fact that he said it wasn’t the time had me questioning what was wrong with this moment.

I wanted him and he wanted me . . .

I loved him. Why not now?

He tightened his arms around me as though fearful that I might just push away from him. “Because when that happens between us, I want all night to have you without fearing my brother might be listening from his tent.” I blushed hotly. “I want all night to show you that you’re the one—the last one for me, Madison.”

I didn’t think about my words, I just said them—because I felt them. Never had I ever felt words so true, emotion so pure, as this. “I love you, Austin.”

He closed his brilliant blue eyes and breathed a breath that sounded both relieved and pained. Then, he opened his eyes and crushed his lips against mine. I opened myself to him completely and any restraint he had vanished. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, tasting me, exploring me, and owning me. I didn’t hesitate in crushing my chest against his and I felt his hardness pushing against my belly as I moved. Feeling his body against mine, his desire and his warmth surrounding my body, his taste inside my mouth—was out of this world. I couldn’t think. I moved on pure instinct and so did Austin. His hands slid from where they’d been positioned on my back, to the swell of my butt. And then I spread my legs to circle his torso as he lifted me against him. He moaned into my mouth as my breath hitched and I felt my sensitive core press against his stomach. And then I felt him lower my body until his hot length was pressed against my center. My breath shook in near violent tremors as I committed the feel of him there to memory—burning the sensation on my soul.

He spoke against my lips. “We won’t go all the way.”

“Kay.”

He kissed me roughly. “Just want to feel you against me.”

“Yes,” I agreed, because the way he felt against me there, so soft and so warm, was like heaven.

He groaned again and I felt desire shoot through my body at the sound. Primal instinct took over me and I rocked my hips against him, feeling his length drag against my wet core. My breath was rushing hotly as I kissed him deeply and his hips continued to push in gentle rocking motions against mine. I could have stayed like this with him all night—feeling him against me this way. I could have lost myself to forever in this moment.

I’m not entirely sure how long we stayed like this together, exploring, feeling, and loving one another. But it was a while.

And then I had my second orgasm with Austin in the water of the lake and he never even moved inside of me. Simply moving against him I was brought to my origins; to the very place I was born to be.

As my pleasure climaxed, I heard his rumbled admission. “I’m in love with you, Madison.” He kissed my throat as my head tipped back in ecstasy. “You’re my forever.”

I don’t think you can ever actually predict how you will feel after you come undone in another’s arms, but I felt complete. I’d shattered down to my very core in Austin’s arms, but still, I felt whole in a way I had never before felt.

I also don’t believe that anyone knows quite what to say
after.

After you come undone for another, entirely unraveled and exposed and vulnerable—after that, how does one know what to say?

I’ve only been in this situation once before. Austin had brought me to this place in his bed the very first night we spent together, but he hadn’t allowed my mind to think too much on what happens after. Because after, he pulled me into his arms and told me to sleep. And I slept.

Now, we were in the lake and sleeping wasn’t exactly an option. Still, it wasn’t awkward. As my eyes met his and I took in the very serious words we’d both breathed to each other—I realized that this moment wasn’t awkward. It was perfect.

The corner of his lip lifted as he watched the thoughts play in my mind. “You’re so adorably perfect, sweetheart.”

I smiled, because he made me happy. “I think you’re pretty great too.”

“Whew,” he sported a look of mock relief. “I thought you were going to call me adorable.”

I laughed. “Well, you’re that too.”

His eyes were soft on my face as he took in the sound of my laughter, as though he were trying to commit the sound to his memory. A place it could never be forgotten. A place it could never die. “I’m so in love with you it’s . . .” his voice was so very deep I felt it in my bones. He breathed, “It’s terrifying.”

“Why?” I whispered, feeling the weight of his words in the very bottom of my heart. I continued, speaking the truth. “I’m not scared at all.”

“God,” his blue eyes closed and I could have sworn I saw pain flare before he sealed it from my wondering eyes. And then his arms tightened around my body, pulling me tightly to his chest again. “I can’t begin to tell you, Madison, how much you mean to me. I never should have written my number on your skin that day. I never should have stopped you from running from that café. I never should have wanted you. But even knowing that, I couldn’t walk away from you.”

“Why are you saying this?” I closed my eyes and nuzzled my face into the nook of his neck. “Austin, please stop.”

His big hands were wide against my back, moving slowly up and down the naked length. “I want to be everything for you, Madison. I want to be the man you look at with trust and love and hope. Forever.”

“You are that man to me,” I whispered. “Already.” I pulled away. “You have nothing to fear.”

There was something in his eyes; something dark that terrified me. I had a feeling that there was something I was missing. There were dots I wasn’t connecting. But even as I had that thought, I didn’t want to connect those dots. I just wanted to exist in this beautiful moment a little longer.

“I love you.” He pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me softly beneath the moon. The gentle sound of the water rippling around our bodies caressed me, and I let myself pretend that fear had never shone through those brilliant blue eyes I loved. I let myself pretend that the sadness I saw there never existed. I let myself pretend—because that was so much easier.

Leaning away from his kiss I smiled and looked down at the swirling lines of ink against his skin, and then I asked the question I’d been meaning to ask for a long time.

“Why is this empty?” I moved my palm to sit over the beautiful bare skin covering his beating heart. It was the only piece of skin on his left side that wasn’t covered in ink.

His eyes were so intense, and his voice was so thick, and gravelly with emotion, as he replied. “I’m saving this space for the one who means everything to me. The image that resides over my heart will represent the woman I love. This space will represent the woman I want to spend all my days with—to the very end.” He quirked a grin, but I was pretty sure my heart had stopped beating altogether. “I suppose you could say I’m saving myself.”

I gasped, suddenly feeling as though my touching him there was an intrusion. I started to pull my hand away, but he covered my hand with his. His eyes were burning and his word was a sharp kind of plea. “Don’t.”

My voice shook as I repeated. “Don’t . . .”

“Don’t ever stop touching me.” He caressed my hand over his chest—over his heart. “This space is yours, Madison.” He promised and I felt my belly clench with happiness, relief and uncertainty. “You’re the one I want to spend all my days with.”

“We’ve only just met . . .”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” he shook his head, but when I opened my mouth to reply, he spoke first. “We never know how many days we have left on this earth. Waiting until the appropriate time has passed is silly. There is never a guarantee, so just live, sweetheart. Follow your heart.”

“Austin,”

“You’re my heart, Madison,” his fingers stretched out over mine. “You’re the one for me.”

Looking into the brilliant blue of his eyes, I felt a certainty that was unlike any other bloom inside my heart. “I love you. I’ll be your heart.”

“Be the rest of my days,” he begged, and no matter how unrealistic a promise of the rest of our lives was; I knew I meant it in the deepest crevice of my heart when I promised him forever.

“I’ll be the rest of your days, Austin.”

And that was all he needed to drop his lips to mine and kiss me fiercely.