Ten Tiny Breaths (16 page)

I shrug. “I’m sure I’ve seen this episode
before. Guy takes girl to remote shack in the Everglades, has his
way with her for a few days, and then leaves her body to the
alligators so there’s no evidence.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but then pauses
as if in thought. “Well, probably only twenty-four hours. I have a
deadline for work tomorrow.”

I cock my head, weighing his movements.

“Come on, Kacey!” he bursts out with amazed
laughter. “I have never, nor will I ever stuff a kitten into an
ATM! I’m more of a dog person, anyway.”

My arms fold over my chest, my brow arching.
“You know I can handle myself pretty well, right?”

He chuckles, blue irises sliding over my
body, shooting tremors through me. “Oh, believe me. I know you can.
You could probably have me flat on my back in under five seconds.”
I wish
. “Come on.” He grabs hold of my elbow and pulls me
forward so we’re walking side by side. On impulse, I unfold my arms
and grab his hand, pulling it up to my mouth to kiss his
knuckles.

Pleasant surprise flickers in his eyes. With
a lop-sided grin, he switches hands so he can haul me into his
body, tossing his arm around my shoulder. He lifts my hand and
holds it against his chest. We walk like that in silence, allowing
me to feel his heartbeat. It’s fast and hard and so damn alive.

“So what do you wanna know?”

“What?” I frown.

“Well, you said Livie thinks you should know
more about me so what do you wanna know?” His tone softens, his
face somber, as he stares forward, and I sense a shift in the air.
A hint of tension, like we’re encroaching on a topic he’s not
comfortable with either.

“Umm …” The less we talk about each other’s
lives, the better. But secretly, I have to admit I want to know
everything about him. Right down to the type of soap he uses in the
shower. “Well, you already know what I do for a living. What do you
do?”

His shoulders slump a little as if relieved
by the topic. “Graphic design.”

“Really? A computer geek? Never would have
guessed.” Seriously, I look at his perfect body and I
never
would have guessed. He smiles at my jibe. “And who do you work
for?”

“Myself. It’s great. I don’t have to go
anywhere or report to anyone except my clients. I can pick up and
move if I want, which is what I did. I can design, naked in my
living room all day and no one has a clue.”

“That’s … uh …” Trent crushes my shoulder and
hand to keep me upright as I trip over my own two feet. Swirls of
light and dark fill my vision at the mental image Trent’s just
painted.
Dammit!
By the smirk on his face, he knows what
saying things like that does to me. I decide I’ll be breaking down
his front door one day soon, alligator or not. I also decide I need
to change the topic of conversation before my body drops to the
ground and flops around like a fish out of water.

“Where’d you learn how to hit a bag?”

He laughs again. “I was into sports a lot,
back in high school and college. It’s a good stress reliever,
that’s all.” His thumb rubs my shoulder as we walk on and my heart
swells.

“Are both of your parents in Rochester?” I
ask, shocking even myself. Now that I’ve started prying, it’s like
I can’t stop. Worse, I’m asking all the questions I can’t answer
about myself. “Sorry,” I shake my head. “I … it’s none of my—”

Trent’s soft chuckle stops my sputtering. “My
dad’s in Manhattan, my mom’s in Rochester. Divorced, obviously.” He
offers the information but I can’t help notice his shoulders tense,
like it’s not something he’s comfortable talking about.

I bite my tongue and we continue in
silence.

“What else do you want to know, Kace?” He
looks down at me. “Ask me whatever you want.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

“Everything.”

I’m shaking my head. “I’m sure there’re
things you want to keep to yourself.”

“Yes, some things are hard to talk about. But
I’ll tell you.” His hand squeezes mine. “I want you to know
me.”

“Okay.” My voice is soft and weak now and I
feel that I have to lay my cards on the table. “So you know, I’m
not big on talking about some things.”

I hear the soft exhale of air. “I’ve noticed.
Can you at least tell me what’s off limits?”

“My past. My family.”

Trent’s jaw tenses but, after a moment, he
nods. “That’s a big part of you, Kacey. But, okay. We won’t talk
about that stuff until you’re ready.”

I look up and see Trent’s blue eyes crinkle
with sincerity, and I’m filled with sadness. I’ll never be ready to
talk about those things. Ever. I don’t say that though. I just nod
and say, “thank you.”

He pulls me closer to him, his lips parting
as he lays an intimate kiss on my forehead.

***

After touring the lengthy boardwalk that
stretches out over the water—bumping into a small group of park
rangers patrolling the area—we find a seat on a stone wall. Trent
unzips the cooler bag and hands me a cold bottle of water. It’s
only then that I realize how parched I am, having been distracted
with watching Trent’s relaxed stride up until now. “I figured it’d
be hot out. I just really want to see a gator. Then we can grab a
bite to eat,” he promises.

“This is perfect, Trent. Really.” And it is.
Absolutely perfect. We’re overlooking the marshlands as a golden
sun sinks into the water, painting the sky in hues of pink and
purple. The sounds of soft water ripples and strange bird squawks
float through the air. It’s just about the most peaceful place I’ve
ever been. Of course, anywhere would be perfect with Trent.

“Yeah?” He rests his hand on the back of my
neck, his fingers lingering along the collar of my shirt, slipping
under to graze along my bare skin. I shiver in response.

“Cold?” he teases.

I give him a crooked smile. “No. Distracted.
You’re going to make me choke on my water.”

He dips his head in assent as he pulls his
hand away, earning a blip of disappointment inside me. It’s quickly
squashed with concern.

“Look! Do you see that?” Trent’s voice raises
an octave and his hand moves back to my shoulder as he leans in. He
stretches his other arm out to point out the long narrow head
peeking out from the water’s surface no more than twenty feet from
us.

My appetite vanishes instantly. “Ohmigod. Is
he watching us?”

“Maybe. Hard to tell.”

“Don’t those things move ridiculously fast?”
I swallow repeatedly, more than a little freaked out. Gators in
enclosures at a zoo are one thing. There aren’t any walls
separating us here.

“Don’t worry. I did some research before we
came. This trail is popular for seeing alligators up close. The
park rangers are just down that way, in any case.”

“If you say so,” I murmur, noting how close
Trent’s mouth is next to me. So close, I could just lean in and
…

My lips graze the corner of his mouth,
catching him off guard. Turning to face me, he regards me with a
momentary flicker of surprise. But only a moment, and then he leans
in to cover my lips with his. He kisses me tenderly, his hand
finding its way to my chin to turn my head, his thumb gripping my
jaw as he pulls my knees close to him with his other hand. My
breath hitches as his tongue runs along the edge of my lips before
sweeping into my mouth, sending a shock through my body. I can’t
help but reach for him, my fingers settling on the curves of his
chest.

He releases the lightest growl as he breaks
free. His biceps flex as he scoops my body up onto his lap, and
burrows his head into my neck, taking my lobe into his mouth,
nipping it painlessly. My hand skates over his throat, reveling in
the thickness of it, of its muscles. As my thumb slides over his
Adam’s apple, and his mouth trails kisses all along my neck, I
close my eyes and let my head rest against his, weightless and
floating in his midst, under his control. Under his touch.

“Kace,” he whispers.

I make a strange half moan, half gurgle noise
in response.

“Are you afraid?”

Afraid?
Peeking out of one eye, I
check the marsh to see our observer in the same spot. “He hasn’t
moved yet, but I have to tell you, I doubt I can drive that bike
back if you lose a leg tonight.”

Trent bursts out laughing and I feel the
vibrations right down into my nipples, he’s so close. “I’ll be fine
for tonight. I still need to have my way with you. The shack’s back
that way.” His head jerks behind us.

“I hope you’ve put fresh sheets down at
least.”

With another chuckle, Trent settles his head
against my shoulder as I sit in anxious silence, watching the
alligator drift away to join his little friends. I wonder if it can
sense the hold that Trent has placed on me. With little effort,
within weeks, Trent has torn down my self-preservative defenses and
fear, quickly earning himself a place of necessity in my life. And
then it dawns on me what Trent was asking. Am I afraid of
this
.

“I’m terrified,” I whisper. At first I don’t
think he heard me. But then he turns to study the contours of my
face, his brows drawn together, and I know that he did. “I … um … I
… it’s been a while since I’ve done this,” I go on to say.
I've
never done this. Ever. Nothing close to this.
“And this …” I
hold up my hand within his. “Just this alone is kind of a big deal
for me.”

He lifts my hand to press against his lips.
Then he clears his throat. “Look, Kacey. What happened in your room
that day…”

I feel my brow furrow, searching.
My
room
?

“The snake in your shower?”

Oh, yeah
. My heart jolts like a
thousand watt current just zapped it with the reminder.

“I’m … uh,” he stretches his long legs out in
front of him but holds me tight on his lap. “I’m trying hard not to
let that happen again. For now.”

He must be able to read the disappointment
that smashes into me because he quickly explains himself, his eyes
wide and earnest. “It’s not that I don’t want it or you.” His
Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows. “Believe me, I’m sure
you know exactly how much I do want that right now.”

I smile, wiggling in his lap.

He chuckles, my actions breaking his serious
note. But it comes back quickly. “I have a hard time—a really hard
time—controlling myself around you, Kacey. You’re unbelievably
attractive and I’m a guy. It doesn’t take much for you to dissolve
my will power. But I think we need to move slow. Take our time.” He
gives me a meaningful look, like he understands more about me than
I’ve told him. “I think that’s important, for both of us.”

I open my mouth to speak, but I’m not sure
how to respond yet. He’s right. Slow is good. Slow is safe. But
right now, with his fingertips back on my collar, feeling his
excitement digging into me, I don’t want slow. I want a sudsy hot
mess.

I allow myself a moment for a deep breath to
try and regulate my spastic heart. “Who says I want anything with
you? You assume a lot.”

“Maybe I do.” With a crooked smile, his hand
slips up under the back of my shirt, moving painstakingly slow up
along my spine, earning a slight gasp from me.

“Yeah, that’s slow alright,” I croak.

“Am I assuming too much right now?”

I shake my head lightly to let him know that
he’s not assuming anything. I’ll happily take anything from Trent
that I can get. Slow or fast.

His fingers fan out as they skate over my
bare skin, sliding to my rib cage to graze the various scar ridges.
His thumb strokes back and forth. “Couldn’t help but notice you
have a few of these.”

I’m used to people questioning my scars. I’ve
learned to shrug them off smoothly. “Oh yeah? When’d you see
those?”

He gives me a wry smile.

“Pervert.” I try to push off my
embarrassment, but I feel my cheeks flush anyway.

His face smooths away to seriousness. “Is
that part of the past you don’t want to talk about?”

“Man-eating snake attack in a shower. It’s a
reoccurring problem for me.”

He chuckles softly, but the mirth never
reaches his eyes. Sliding his hand out from under my shirt, he
pushes my sleeve up to expose the thin white line on my shoulder.
Leaning in, his bottom lip grazes over it. “Sometimes it helps to
talk, Kace.”

“Can we please just stick to the here and
now?” I beg softly, confused by the conflicting reaction in my
body, both rigid and liquefying under his attention. “I don’t want
to spoil this.”

“Yeah, for now.” He lifts his head to look at
me again, tucking a strand of my hair back behind my ear. “You
don’t smile enough.”

“I smile tons. From eight p.m. until one a.m.
from Tuesday until Sunday. Wouldn’t you know? It doubles my
tips.”

His dimples are in full force now. “I want to
make you smile. For real. Always. We’re going to go for dinners,
and see movies, and walk on the beach. We’ll go hang-gliding, or
bungee jumping, or whatever you want to do. Whatever makes you
smile and laugh more.” His fingers toy with my bottom lip. “Let me
make you smile.”

***

Trent doesn’t have his way with me that
night. In fact, he handles me like I’m a porcelain doll that is two
seconds from shattering. Instead, he talks. He talks and talks and
talks. I listen, mostly. He talks about the Everglades, and about
how a human can hold an alligator’s jaws closed with his bare hands
and I ask him if he’s one of those Jeopardy freaks. He talks about
how Tanner isn’t such a bad guy and our apartment building kind of
has a Melrose Place feel to it, and I chuckle. I don’t remember
hibachis and shriveled weeds in Melrose Place. He smiles when he
mentions Mia’s name and how cute she is.

He talks and I listen to the low seductive
hum of his voice and, although my hormones are planning a full
assault to highjack my brain and take over all rational thought, I
can’t help but get distracted by the shred of life flowing through
my soul again.