Tequila & Tea Bags (22 page)

I walk into the room and spot them immediately. Thank God they haven’t got one of those stupid blue curtains pulled around the bed. Phil’s got his head in his hands, resting his forehead against the bed. As I walk closer I see Megan. Oh my God.

She looks terrible. So pale, her skin almost grey. A drip is still in her arm and her hairs a bloody mess. She must be asleep. I hope to God it’s not a comma.

I walk to the end of her bed and clear my throat. Phil looks up and Megan’s eyes fly open. She smiles weakly.

‘Are you fucking joking, pet?’ he shouts jumping up and getting in my face. I’m suddenly scared he’s going to hit me. Why didn’t I consider this?

‘You get my daughter so wasted that she almost dies and you think you can just stroll back in to visit her like nothing happened?’

‘No…I…I…wanted to apologise,’ I stutter, swallowing down the lump in my throat. ‘I’m so sorry, Megan.’ My voice breaks as tears start falling down my face.

‘Sorry?’ he roars, his jaw tense in disgust. ‘That’s all you’ve got to say for yourself!’

‘Dad, it wasn’t her fault!’ Megan says weakly. It seems like it’s taking all of her effort to talk.

‘Yes it was, Megan! She’s supposed to be a grown up. But she couldn’t be responsible for a house plant,’ he spits.

That hurts. My house plant
did
actually die.

‘I only begged her to have the party because you wouldn’t let me have one!’ she tries to shout, her voice still barely a whisper.

‘Oh, so this is my fault is it?’ he demands, his eyes crazy wide. ‘Because I wouldn’t let a group of teenagers get drunk? There’s reason for this. Look at yourself; that’s my reason.’ His voice breaks and I realise he’s on the verge of tears.

The enormity of it hits me like a freight train. I almost took his daughter away from him. I deserve every harsh word.

‘Your dad’s right, Megan. I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry.’

‘You’re not to see each other again,’ Phil says, standing up to block my view of her. ‘And consider yourself sacked.’

It’s no more than I deserve. I nod my head, resigned to my punishment, and walk out of the room into Elsie’s arms. I’m such a fucking moron.

***

By the time I get home I decide I have to tell Will. Although I really,
really
don’t want to. He’s going to realise what a skittish, dipshit bitch I really am and dump me. But I know news is going to spread fast in this village and I’d rather he heard it from me.

I decide to be a coward and text him.

I fucked up.

I press send and wait anxiously for a reply. After a while of me pacing my room the phone beeps. I nearly drop it to the floor in fear.

Are you pregnant?

Oh my God, he’s a dick. We literally only did it a few days ago. As if I could be pregnant already. Unless…unless he thinks I’m pregnant by someone else? Ew.

No. Far worse.

Build it up, I say. Make it sound worse than it is. As if that’s possible. I almost killed a teenager.

Nothing could be worse. I’m on my way.

He’s coming here? Shit. I didn’t consider that. I run to the mirror and remove the smudged mascara from my eyes. I look like crap. My eyes are all puffy and red, my chin looking like it’s about to break out in acne at any minute.

The door knocks. He’s here already? I’m not even wearing a low cut top. I can't even distract with my boobs.

‘It’s Will!’ I shout, as I run frantically down the stairs. ‘I’ll get it.’

I swing open the door and jump when I see the vicar.

‘Oh…hi,’ I say, trying unsuccessfully to hide the disappointment in my voice.

‘Rose,’ he smiles sadly, his eyes sympathetic. ‘I heard the news. I’m here to offer you some solace.’

‘Huh?’

Elsie comes into the room sheepishly. ‘Sorry, Rose. I called him. I didn’t know what else to do.’

I turn back to her, furious.

‘So you told on me? To the village bloody vicar?!’ I shriek. How the hell could she do this to me? Does she not think I’m suffering enough?

‘Please, Rose,’ he smiles, ‘I’m not here for judgement. I’m here for you to talk to.’

Trying to pull the whole nice vicar act. He just wants to find out the gossip.

‘Hey.’

I spin round to see Will standing behind him, out of breath as if he’s run here.

He looks between the vicar, Elsie and me. Well, this obviously looks odd.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing!’ I laugh loudly, sounding insane. ‘Just…come through to the kitchen.’ I grab his hand and lead him through. I lean against the sink, my hands in my back pockets. It helps that it pushes my boobs out.

‘So…do you want to tell me what’s going on?’ he asks, his eyes narrowing with curiosity.

‘Err…’

Oh God, once he hears this everything’s going to change again. He won't want me anymore. He’ll realise what an irresponsible twat I am and dump me for good. The thought terrifies me.

Before I have time to change my mind I crush myself against his chest, pressing the side of my head into him. I breathe in his scent and revel in the feeling of warmness. I feel so safe when I’m with him. I’m not going to have this anymore. I can't believe I’m so stupid.

‘Rose,’ he says pushing me away to arm’s length, his eyes concerned. ‘You’re scaring me. What is it?’

‘I…well, I fucked up,’ I admit, looking down at the tiled floor.

‘Aye, you said,’ he nods. ‘But how?’

Not knowing must be killing him.

‘I…kind of organised a birthday party for Megan, only it got out of control and she drank too much and now she’s in hospital because of it…and…and…’  I let the tears fall out freely, a strangled sound escaping from my throat.

‘Come here, you doughnut.’

I’m pulled back into his chest, only this time he’s pressing me against him. He’s rubbing my back soothingly. I pull away, covering my face with my hands.

‘Don’t you hate me?’ I ask, shocked by his reaction. ‘Don’t you realise what an idiot I am?’

How can he be taking this so well? Doesn’t he understand?

‘I always knew you were an idiot,’ he smiles, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. ‘But that doesn’t mean that you’re not sweet.’ He pecks a kiss on my lips. ‘And sexy.’ Another kiss, curling my lips into a smile. ‘And mine.’ He pulls me fully into him and takes my mouth completely.

Woah. God. How the hell am I getting rewarded for being such a dummy?

‘But…’ I try to pull back.

‘No, Rose, listen,’ he insists sternly. ‘You set out to do a nice thing for Megan, right?

I nod.

‘Well, then. Could you have been more responsible? Of course. Do I wish you’d told me? Yeah. But it’s done now and there’s no point beating yourself up about it.’

God, he’d make an amazing father one day. Woah! Where the hell did that come from?!

The vicar knocks on the kitchen door. We both look up, quickly jumping apart. I keep forgetting we’re a secret. He walks in smiling compassionately.

‘Ah, I see you also have Will to comfort you.’ He smiles warmly at him. ‘But I still wanted to offer a shoulder to cry on. Phil was furious when I tried to reason with him. Understandably of course.’

Understandably? Who does this arsehole think he is? Some up his own arse hypocrite who has an illegal love child?

‘Don’t you DARE judge me!’ I shout, pointing my shaky finger at him.

Elsie walks into the room, obviously hearing the drama. She looks at Will confused. He seems just as bewildered.

‘I beg your pardon?’ he asks, completely taken aback.

I know I should stop talking and apologise. I know I should. But I can't.

‘How dare you judge
me!
You’re such a hypocrite! As if you haven’t done stupid things in your life. I know a thing or two about you that I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get out.’ It sounds like a threat. Oh God, what am I doing?

‘I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Rose.’ He raises his eyebrows questionably. ‘But I have no secrets from my congregation.’

‘Bullshit!’ I shout, now furious.

I’ve seen red. All of this weekend’s drama forces itself to the front of my brain. I’m angry at my own stupidity. How I’ve hurt Megan, how Phil’s never going to forgive me. I’m furious and I
need
to take it out on someone.

Elsie jumps in front of me, her face full of concerned horror. I feel Will’s hand on my hip, clearly trying to restrain me. Ten policemen couldn’t hold me back.

‘You don’t call a love child a secret?’ I spit, looking at him with as much revulsion as I can muster.

‘Love child?’ he whispers, his eyes wide with disbelief.

‘I know Noah’s yours!’ I scream.

I hear Elsie and Will gasp in horror, looking back to the vicar for his denial.

‘Noah? Lauren’s boy?’ He scratches his head in confusion. ‘Rose, I don’t know why you think that, but you’re wrong.’

‘Oh,
really
!’ I snarl. ‘Where were you the weekend of 12
th
September 2005, then?’

I’ve got him now. The hypocritical bastard.

‘2005? That’s a long time ago to remember, Rose,’ he tries to reason.

‘You don’t remember cheating on your wife?’ I raise an eyebrow accusingly.

Elsie and Will are watching him now, obviously wondering what the hell I’m going on about.

‘I have
never
cheated on my wife,’ he states firmly. ‘Why on earth would you think I had?’ He seems genuinely upset. Obviously used to lying.

‘Hello!
His name is Noah. Like Noah’s Ark. You’re a pillar of the community. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist.’

He must think I’m a fool, just like everyone else in this village, but a dog collar doesn’t guarantee an honest person in my book.

‘Well, it clearly takes someone smarter than you,’ Elsie snaps. ‘He can't have been doing that. I was being confirmed by him that weekend.’

She remembers the weekend she was confirmed? What a weirdo.

‘Oh yes,’ he nods. ‘I do remember,’ he smiles fondly. ‘I’m sorry to disappoint you, Rose, but the only children I have are my two girls.’

I look deep into his eyes, but all I see is truth. I’m wrong?

‘Oh.’ Silence fills the room. Well, this is awkward.

‘I think you should apologise, Rose,’ Elsie snaps. ‘You just accused the man of cheating on his wife.’

God, I’m a monster. I’m really on a roll.

‘Sorry,’ I mutter, looking at the floor. ‘I…guess I was wrong.’

***

I peek around the hospital curtain; my body trembling at the possibility of bumping into Phil. Megan’s sat up in her bed, flicking through her copy of Heat magazine.

‘Hey, trouble,’ I whisper, sneaking up to her bed.

‘Rose!’ she beams, her voice still scratchy. ‘Thank God, someone to entertain me!’

It’s so good to see her smile again.

‘I think you’ve had enough entertaining for a while, don’t you?’ I tease, raising my eyebrows in warning.

‘Okay, so maybe I had a
teeny tiny
bit too much to drink,’ she smiles.

‘It’s all my fault.’ I throw my head down onto the bed dramatically. She's a teenager, so I know she’ll appreciate the dramatics.

She pats me on the head. ‘You never forced me to drink like an idiot,’ she says reassuringly. ‘If anyone, blame Scott Blank. He’s the one who brought the jelly shots.’

I raise my head to pout at her. ‘I’m such a bad adult.’

She laughs. It’s such a nice sound. Young and jovial. I can't believe we were so close to never hearing that again. ‘You’re a great adult. I want to be just as cool as you when I’m older.’

‘No you don’t.’ I adamantly shake my head. ‘If you end up like me I’ve failed you.’

She laughs. ‘But seriously,’ she warns, her voice serious, ‘you should get out of here before my Dad gets back.’

He’s literally going to kill me. I’m actually genuinely scared for my life.

‘Exactly how mad is he still?’ I ask, already knowing the answer.

‘Well…he’s kind of the maddest I’ve ever seen him.’

I drop my head in shame.

‘In fact, I haven’t seen my Dad this mad since I was eight and he found the note my mum had left him, saying she’d left us.’ She looks off sadly into the distance, twiddling her fingers nervously.

She’s never told me what happened to her mum before. I just assumed she didn’t want to talk about it. She left her? How could she do that to her?

‘He was so cut up he sent me to stay with my Auntie for a while. Apparently he went to stay with a friend in Leeds and spent a few weeks getting absolutely bladdered.’ She chuckles at the irony.

‘I’m so sorry, Megan. You were so young for it to happen to you.’ I take her hand in mine.