The Awakening (10 page)

              "You will...at the big BBQ." He grinned, knowing that’s not what she meant. "Though grilling, swimming and laughing guests may not be the proper place for a heart to heart."

              "Thantos said you may not come..."

              His eyes darkened. "He spoke to you? Did he call?"

              She shook her head. "He showed up...I had left my...well, he found something I'd left after dinner." She wasn't sure why she couldn’t tell Nolan what she had forgotten...maybe Thanatos would tell him, but she just couldn't, not now.

              "When?"

              "Yesterday morning."

              He frowned. "Damn," he whispered.

              She looked curiously at him. "He was perfectly polite...unlike...."

              "It was after your last dream?"

              She nodded.

              Nolan growled. "I assumed he had left...instead he went straight for your door huh?"

              She bit her lip. “I didn't let him in," she whispered, as though that would be important.

              He grinned. "Good," he chuckled. "I'm sure he was not happy about that." The grey eyes lit to silver as he looked down on her. "I guess I will see you in a few days...the party..."

              "So long?" Her blue eyes twinkled.

              He chuckled, and then swallowed, feeling the charge between the both of them. His fingers inched along the nape of his neck.

              Her eyes followed the motion...lucky neck!

              "That color is beautiful on you Aelan," he whispered. “You should wear it more often."

              She glanced down at the soft blue shirt she wore. She had been told that before, and knew it brought out her eyes fantastically. She was thankful for the decision to wear it this morning. Her cheeks turned a soft rose, adding to the blueness of her eyes.

              "I should go," he breathed, but he didn’t alter the space between them. He did smile though.

              She smiled back. "Remember to bring your swimming trunks." She stopped herself. "Well, it will probably be too cool to swim..."

              "Yes, and we both know what cold water in this weather feels like..." His eyes lit with amusement.

              Raina blushed softly, then more deeply. "That day...the stream...my clothes...I had been wearing your sweat shirt...I woke up....in my own..." Her eyes lifted to his.

              He gave her a wink. "I am ever the gentleman, I promise." His cheeks tinted pink. "I had to look to...to well, to dress you, but I didn't really
look.
"

              "But my clothes were soaking wet!!"

              "I...You have so many similar clothes...t shirts, thermals flannels, jeans...if you had really paid attention you would have noticed the ones you wore when you woke up, were quite different."

              "Nolan!"

              He hushed her. "We will talk," he promised.

              "When?" Her embarrassment made her look away.

              He tipped the underneath of her chin with a long finger, so she was looking right at him. His finger did not linger, once he held her gaze. "When it’s time." He fought the urge to assure her with a hug...or worse, a kiss, which was not his right. He let his hand fall to her shoulder, but her face remained up turned...still a temptation. He allowed himself one action...his soft lips nestled a kiss between her furrowed brow.

              "Please give Emily my goodbye...I have to hurry or I will be late back," his voice trembled a bit. His hand brushed down her arm from her shoulder, and he hurried down the stairs, and out the gate without waiting for her reaction.

              Raina stood there, unable to move, looking after him even after he was gone. She drew in a deep breath. Her limbs finally reacted enough, and she was able to lift her hand to touch her forehead. She giddily thought...I will never wash it ever again. She smiled and bit her lip.

              Emily's return startled her. She nearly jumped. Turk wiggled between her legs and down the stair. He ran to the gate where Nolan had disappeared. He whined at the entrance.

              Emily's face fell. "He's gone already?" She gave Raina a strange look.

              Raina realized she was still touching her forehead. She quickly put her hand down and nodded. “He didn't want to be late back to the office."

              She grinned. "Bradley would not have minded."

              Raina smiled. "I wouldn't have minded," she admitted.

              "You lucky lucky girl.” Emily rolled her eyes. "He is amazingly handsome isn't he?"

              Raina laughed. "Look who’s talking...Bradley isn't hard on the eyes," she chastised. She loved her Bradley, her brother for all intents and purposes, and wished to defend him, even against the lovely...sexy, beautiful Nolan.

              Emily grinned happily. That goofy happy grin she got when she thought of her husband. "Oh yes, if you love cobalt blue eyes and incredible dimples."

              Raina giggled with her.

              Emily gave her a sideways glance. "You aren't going to distract me from our previous...your previous visitor. I. Want. Details."

              Raina closed her eyes. "It’s complicated," she whispered.

              "Rain, you lit up...positively lit up. I've never seen you like that! Well, except for..." she shook her head. "No, not even with David. With David was different...a belonging...this, with Nolan, this is excitement."

              Raina looked away. She needed a little change in the conversation...this was a little much. "You acted surprised when you saw him...surely you couldn't miss the red Charger in the driveway!"

              She innocently shook her head. "I had no time to see anything. Turkey went nuts when we came near the house, he escaped...you left the gate open, and I chased him up the side of the house...I didn't see it." Her eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to distract me?" She pouted.

              Raina nodded. "We have a BBQ to think about."

              Emily sighed in defeat and they began their plans. From set up, to decoration, to food, it was all mapped out. In the end Emily gave her friend a grateful smile. "You will go shopping with me won't you?"

              Raina hesitated.

              "You did fine at the dinner...and this will be practice for the party. You know? To help you interact with some of the old friends?" She reached over and squeezed Raina's fingers. "Please?"

              "I will think about it!" She looked into her best friends dark eyes, and wished for the simpler days when the request would have no "thinking about it" involved. She missed that.

              Emily's eyes lit. "Do you have your outfit? What are you wearing?"

              Raina frowned. "Nothing for a BBQ..." Her memory ran over one of Nolan’s last statements. "You have so many similar clothes." She sighed and looked at her friend, who fairly bounced in her seat.

              "No," she sighed.

              "Oh please oh pleeeeease Raina!!! It’s been so long since we went clothes shopping. All the Land’s End outdoor gear you order on line does not count!! You need a dress...a real sundress fit for a BBQ picnic."

              Giggling, Raina pushed her friends hand away.

              "It’s Friday morning...it’s a work day, a school day...the shops will have barely a soul there! Please Rain!!"

              Raina looked helplessly at her friend. She had survived the dinner. "Ahhh, I give you an inch you take a mile," she chuckled. "Dress shopping." She grimaced.

              "One dress...not a whole spree! You will survive!" Emily folded her hands in supplication.

              "Ok," Raina whispered. "Let me get my shoes and purse."

              Emily squealed in delight, making Raina smile. What would she have done without this tenacious friend of hers for all these years?

              After a short drive, they were both entering one of their old haunts, a small boutique that always carried such classically pretty clothing. One friend entered with genuine excitement, the other with trepidation.

              "Mrs. Foster??" a shout came.

              Raina jumped. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard her last name from someone else’s lips.

              "Raina Foster?" A petite older woman came from around the corner! "Look at you! It’s been years...what have you been doing with yourself? I-I heard about your husband...I hope you got my card! I really should have called."

              Raina smiled in recognition. "Mrs. Ward, of course I did get your card, its I who should have called to thank you," she said softly. She hoped the conversation would shift....she didn't want this to turn into a moment of mourning. "It's lovely to see you!"

              Mrs. Ward turned to Emily. "And Mrs. McRay, you as well! It’s been too long!"

              Raina gave Emily a glance.

              Emily smiled sadly. "This was our place Rain, I couldn't come without you!"

              Raina felt her heart restrict.

              "So how can I help you girls?"

              They quickly explained their plans and were ushered to the new shipment of summer dresses. The girls oohed and awed over the bright colors and the soft pastels...it had been a long winter and the colors thrilled them to no end.

              Raina came upon a sleeveless light blue dress. It would come to just above her knees, and it had an empire waist. A style that always flattered her tiny waist and her rounded hips. She slid her fingers over the soft material. It was the same blue of her shirt, and that pleased her to no end. What truly sold her was... she knew Nolan would approve. She blushed.

              Emily was at her elbow. "Very pretty," she whispered. "Oh your eyes will look incredible in this!"

              Again Raina blushed.

              "What?" Emily laughed.

              "Nolan said I looked becoming in blue."

              Her friend smiled. "Well then you most certainly should get it."

              And she did. She also got the matching undergarments and a pair of pretty sandals, no heels...not if she would be traipsing around the McRay’s back yard. No heels sinking into the ground for her! She was very very pleased with her purchases.

              "And you survived," Emily teased, as they slipped back into her car. "That was so much fun!!"

              Raina had to nod with agreement. "And it was nice to see Mrs. Ward again," she admitted. "I can't believe you didn't go all these years, just because I..."

              "Rain, we went there all the time! It just wasn't the same without my best friend with me. I survived, but just barely," she giggled. "I forgot how much I love that place!"

              "Evidently," Raina agreed. "You bought three to my one dress!"

              Emily smiled. "Oh I'll pay for it when Bradley sees the receipt" Her eyes twinkled as though her punishment would not be unwelcomed at all.

              Raina blushed. "The two of you never get enough do you?"

              Emily shook her head and started the car. Both women could not suppress their giggles. It was a lot like old times.

Chapter 5 Facing Old Fears

In the days following her "dress adventure" Raina had decided more steps like it would be necessary. Instead of taking to the woods for her walks, she started walking the neighborhood. She had passed the school where she had once taught, liking the sight of the children playing outside. Turk liked it too, and it was a struggle to keep him going, when the laughter of children wooed him.

              She liked the feeling of freedom from fear. It had kept her locked up all this time...but it was nearly gone. She wanted to think it was her own growth...but she knew she owed it to Nolan. And maybe even a bit to Thanatos. She didn't want to fear him....and that gave her a reason to fight the old fears.

              She touched the necklace around her neck, hidden under her shirt. She felt the coolness of the ring against her skin. Yes, she feared him...which made his act of kindness all the more confusing. She wished she had the whole story...wished Nolan would have spilled, wished the party wasn't so long away and she could see him again.

              She hadn't seen him in days, hadn't dreamt of him...well, not solely on him. He was randomly in her dreams, but not in vivid details. She laughed at this thought...uh, maybe because they hadn't been dreams at all. He had admitted to that. That disturbed and excited her.

              Her mind wandered over those several "dreams". She supposed she could try and pick them apart, figure it all out. But it was too much. She had to accept them for now...get answers later.

              She enjoyed the remainder of her walk, even waved to surprised neighbors. It felt good...it felt normal. She liked normal.......she liked abnormal too. Obviously.

              When she got home, she nearly hesitated going in. All these years it had been a safe haven. Now it was more like a shrine of memories. David filled every corner. She steeled herself, and entered.

              Percy mewed a greeting, weaving around her legs. She patted him and unleashed Turk, who nosed Percy in greeting. She locked the door securely behind her, and glanced about the living room. Sure enough...memories...everywhere. Good, wonderful memories. Ones that made her throat ache, her stomach tighten with pain.

              Raina shook off the feeling, and straightened her shoulders. Seeing his smiling laughing face everywhere she looked only made her cling to her grief. She was going to remember her David, but her memories were no longer going to bring her to tears!

              She went for a clean storage box, and slowly, carefully chose which frames, which pictures she would tuck away. He had no family for her to share this with...this saddened her further. Really she was the only one around to cherish his memories. Well, she and his close friends.

              When she had taken care of the shelves, she found herself sifting through her wedding album. And she laughed...and laughed, at what she was seeing. Tears didn't appear...she was proud of herself. She found herself looking more closely at the events of that day, looking past just the happy couple. That had once seemed the most important part. What she found now were the faces of friends she had neglected...had shut out. Hadn't they once been an important part of her life? This she did feel grief over. She would have to remedy that. Maybe start that mending with the upcoming party!

              Her tummy fluttered. She'd be seeing her two unusual new friends too. She laughed at the word friend and Thanatos in the same vicinity. At that thought, she felt her adrenaline pick up. Hadn't they both been at her wedding? Wouldn't there possibly be photos of them at the reception? She really must have been under David’s spell to have missed them, or forgotten them. Bradley had said they were there.

              Her fingers trembled, and she couldn't turn the pages any further. Did she want to see them there? Did she really want to know Nolan had been a part of her life in some other way then the exciting happenings of the past weeks? She pushed away the album, biting her lip.

              Drawing in a breath, she got to her feet, and went for a glass of wine. Liquid courage was what she needed. She poured the chilled beverage.

              Turk looked up at her anxiously.

              Nolan and Thanatos in tux’s...joining in the festivities of her wedding? Was there truly a picture to capture such a thing? She smiled, glancing over at the album again. She really did want to find out. She held her chilled glass firmly as she stepped back into the living room. She tucked the album under her arm, and went for her favorite spot on the deck.

              Raina curled up on the chase, album set across her legs. She took a sip of her wine, drew in a breath, and opened the book again, passing up the ceremony photos, getting to the heart of the celebration.