The Beginning of Never (The Never Trilogy #1) (16 page)

“What is it?” he asked, looking confused when I turned
to scowl at him. When I didn’t say anything, he picked the pen back up and
prodded it into my hand.

“Come on,” he urged gently. “We only have a few more
minutes here.”

Then back up
because I can’t think,
I wanted to say, but didn’t.

Eventually I made a mistake and didn’t realize it, so
when I kept on going, he pulled the pen from my hand and told me where I’d gone
wrong. This time I watched the gentle movement of his lips and the soft way his
eyelids moved as he spoke. When he caught me staring, he frowned.

“What was the last thing I just said?” he asked.

I had no idea. “
Uhh
…” I
started and he watched
,
his eyebrows furrowed into a
frown as I tried to make something up. He got up then and started replacing my
things into my bag. Then he pulled my chair backwards with me on it. I giggled.

“Let’s go.” He said, and I was more than happy to.

*

The next morning was the test,
and it ended up being amazing. I had revisited the problems we had studied last
evening several times before I had gone to bed, so I was convinced that I was
prepared. However I had been so nervous at first that it had taken me a few
moments to reacquaint myself with the first question. I almost stumbled on the
final question as well, but I was able to recover quickly and complete the
problem.

When I was done, there was still fifteen minutes left
so I went over everything again and still found myself early. So I waited until
the majority of the class had left, and then stood up to submit my paper.

I walked out of the door, trying but failing to keep
the joy off my face as I headed to my locker. When I saw that Nathan was
waiting by it, my nerves joined in so by the time I reached him, I was sure
that my face was now a bright red.

"How was your test?" Nathan asked.

"It was fine," I answered with a breathy
voice, and an excited smile. Both stunned me. Only then did I notice the quiet
uproar we stirred along the hallway in curious stares and light whispers, as
everyone no doubt wondered why we were together, yet again.

We're cousins
!
I wanted to yell at them, but instead I directed my upset at their intrusion on
forcefully prying my locker open. When I turned back to look at him, I found
him watching me intently.

“Are you alright?” he asked, but I suspected he knew
why I was upset.

“I am.” I replied anyway.
“Any news
about your dad?"

"Yeah, he's doing well now so he'll be out of
hospital soon."

"That's good," I said, relieved for him.

"Are you returning to the States for
midterms?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I probably will, I always do. I don't
know anyone in England. What about you?"

"I'm not sure yet." he said. "So, was
the test
that
good?"

I nodded. "It was."

"You still need to wait for the results
though," he said.

I frowned at him for attempting to lower my
expectation. "Can't I at least enjoy this?"

"You can," he said, and rested a hand on my
shoulder. "But still ... wait.” Then with a smile, he walked away.

I stared after him until he finally disappeared above
the stairs, wondering when I'd be able to see him again and away from prying
eyes. Shrewd laughter behind me brought my attention back so I retrieved the
things I needed from my locker, and headed back to the dining hall for lunch.

*

Later that afternoon, I had
just finished the cup of raspberry yoghurt that I’d brought back with me from
lunch, and was heading to the bathroom to wash my hands when I heard someone
sobbing quietly.

True enough, I walked in and met a girl at the sink
with her head lowered. She turned the faucet on to begin washing her hands as
soon as she noticed me come in, but I could still hear her sniffing as she
tried to control her tears.

I proceeded to wash my hands but even as I turned the
faucet off and then went on to the dryer, I couldn’t stop watching her. There
was something very familiar about her frame that I couldn’t quite place, but
when she glanced at me and caught me staring, I finally remembered who she was.

She was the one that had been at our table with her
boyfriend, on the day of the food fight. I hadn’t noticed it then, but she was
very pretty. She had big brown eyes, and shoulder length, dark blonde curly
hair.

When I didn’t do or say anything after holding her gaze
for a few seconds, she turned the faucet off and left the bathroom. I took a
deep breath, knowing what I should do but wishing that I didn't have to. I
probably wouldn't have even bothered a few weeks ago, but now I wanted to
believe that to an extent, I wasn't so bitter and uncaring anymore.

So I quietly followed her until she walked into her
room and closed the door behind her. I knocked softly, and when she told me to
come in, I did. She was sitting on her bed, and looked puzzled when she saw
that I was the one.

"Do you need something?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Uh, I–I just wanted to find out
if you were alright."

"Do I look like I'm alright?" she asked, and
I was sure that she intended it to be sarcastic but it came out sounding like
an outright question. I didn't know whether to answer her or be offended, so I
just took a few steps further into the room until I was standing close to her
bed.

"What’s wrong?” I asked, and was fascinated when a
thousand emotions crossed her face in the minute that it took for her to assess
me, and make up her mind on whether to talk to me or kick me out.

"It's nothing," she eventually replied.
"Just boyfriend problems, which has now caused hazing
problems.
Stupid Natalie had me serving her table all afternoon.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, fully able to relate. “He’s a
senior right?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Well, it’s expected.” I said. “There’s an instant hate
from them when you’re suddenly in their waters.”

“That’s not even the worst part,” she said, her eyes
filling up with tears again. “The boy aspect is just driving me freaking
crazy.”

"The guy that was at the table
with you right?
The night of the food fight."

"Yeah," she answered. "Matthew."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked,
hoping she wouldn't hear me, or at least decline the offer.

"Not really…" she started. I rolled my eyes
and waited.

"It's just that he used to be so psyched about us,
you know. But now he acts like I’m a burden- like he's tired or something. This
was a boy that begged me to date him, and now that I am, it's like I don't
matter anymore."

She looked at me, and I was prepared to listen to her
rant as long as she wanted to, but her next comment stunned the breath out of
me. "I bet
Alexandre
doesn't treat you this
way." She said.

“Excuse me?”

“James’s cousin- Alex.”

“Um, we’re just friends," I said.
"Cousins too, in fact."

She looked genuinely confused. "Are you serious?
James never mentioned that to me and I heard you were dating him."

"Well, I’m not," I said, wondering how many
other people thought we were dating, and why the cousin story had not spread
widely enough.

"Well, with the way he was with you at the table
and a couple of other times I've seen you guys around, I could have sworn you
were. I’m sorry."

“It’s okay.” I said, wondering what everyone was seeing
that made them think we were a couple, because I sure as hell wasn’t seeing it.

"Anyway about your boyfriend,” I said, so that we
could change the topic. “Do you still like him?”

“I do,” she answered. “But with the way he acts
sometimes I’m beginning to think that I should just forget about him and move
on.”

That, I didn’t have a response to but after a few
silent moments, she looked at me, expecting one.

“Oh, I have no idea,” I said with a shaky laugh. “I
don’t know how these things work so I’m probably the last person you should
ask.”

“Probably,” she said, and I felt relieved. She, however
still hung her head low, so I thought of something neutral to say.

"Don’t worry about all of this though,” I said. “I
mean, if it's meant to work out it will, and if it doesn’t, then don't be sad
about it either. You'll have to let it go and wait for something better."

"What if there isn't anything better?" she
asked.

I scoffed away her question. "There's always
something better."

“Okay. Thank you.” She said, before introducing
herself. Her name was Elisa
Watton
.

*

I felt elated throughout the
entire afternoon, and when by dinnertime, I walked into the hall and spotted
Nathan, I went straight over to his table. I sat beside him, but with my legs
on both side of the bench so that I could face him directly.

"Guess what happened today?" I said.

"What?" he asked as he looked up from the
book he was reading- and that was all it took for my brain to turn to mush. As
I stared at him, all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears, along with
a nervous excitement that ran up and down my body, and made it a little harder
to breathe. It was the stupidest thing to be able to feel like this because of
one inconsequential look, and I sure as hell didn’t want to end up hurt like
Elisa. Worried, I took a cookie from the packet in front of him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and lightly
touched the side of my arm.

"I'm fine," I replied, and put the cookie in
my mouth. I used that time to retrace my train of thought and it would have
helped greatly, if his eyes weren't so fixed on me in concern.

"Did you beat someone up?" he teased, and it
amused me. I flicked the crumbs on my fingertips at him. Grinning, he shifted
slightly to the side to avoid it and then lifted his left leg over the bench so
that he was sitting across just like I was.

“You know for all my temper, I can’t fight to save my
life.” I said.

He chuckled. “I know,” he agreed, and then fake coughed
when I glared at him.

He looked so adorable acting wary of me, but of course
I wasn’t going to tell him that.

"So, what happened?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I was nice to someone today.”

His eyes widened in feigned wonder, but then narrowed
almost immediately. "Was it Kate?" he asked.

"No, you ass.
It was
Elisa. She sat with us the day of that food fight."

"Isn't she Matthew's girlfriend?"

"Yes, she is." I said
,
surprised that Nathan knew who Matthew was. "She was crying."

"Why, what happened?" he asked, as he took
another cookie from his packet.

“I don’t know if it’s proper to tell you.”

“Okay.” He said.

“But I want to.”

“I understand.”

“Like I
really
want to.”

“Lenora?” he called.

I answered. “Yes?”

“Make up your mind, would you?”

“Fine.
She thinks he doesn't
love her anymore."

A thoughtful “hmmm” was all he offered.

"And what did you tell her?"

“What could I say? I know nothing about things like
that.”

“But you read romance novels.”

“Yeah, because that’s how we want it to be, not how it
actually is in real life.”

Just then, I heard someone call my name and we both
looked up to see who it was. It was Elisa, and she was waving to me from the
entrance to the hall.

Surprised, I waved back, and swung my right leg over
the bench to sit properly when I saw that she was coming over.

"Hi," she said a little out of breath as she
reached us. She took a seat on the opposite side of the table.

"Hey," I answered while Nathan smiled at her.
She took a few moments to recover from him, and then turned to me with slightly
widened eyes.

"So about what we talked about earlier,” She
started, but was a little hesitant because Nathan was right beside me. She
decided to speak anyway because he had brought his book down to the bench and
wasn’t looking at her.

“I just spoke to him," she said, "and he told
me that he had no idea about what I was talking about because we’re fine!"

"Do you think you guys are?"

"Of course not.
We're not
fine. It's not like it used to be and he's not like he was."

"It'll be okay," I said, trying to console
her, but she just continued to look dejected.

"I know, but it's not supposed to be like
this." She looked up at me. "What would you do if you were in my
shoes?”

 
“No idea.” I
said with a shrug.

“Can we ask him?” she mouthed to me, referring to
Nathan.

I mouthed back. “Why?”

“Because he’s a guy.”

I sighed, and turned to him.
 
“Nathan, what do you think?”

He lifted his head from his book.
“Pardon?”
 
He asked.

“Elisa thinks Matthew doesn’t love her anymore but he
thinks she’s being paranoid.”

He turned to Elisa, and I could immediately tell that
I’d put him in a very uncomfortable position. Taking another cookie from his
packet, I got ready to watch how he would get himself out of it.

He straightened. “I really don’t have an answer for
that, but Nora you should have an idea.”

I scowled at him for turning the question back at me.
“Well, I don’t.”

“Well, I think you do.” He said.

“I don’t!” I argued, and watched as crumbs flew out of
my mouth and bathed him. I snickered as he took in the damage. His patient
elder voice came out.

"Nora, it's impolite to speak with your mouth
open."