The Beginning of Never (The Never Trilogy #1) (21 page)

"You're late." Elisa
said as she came up behind me. I looked up at her through the mirror and
flashed a placating smile.

“I'm almost done," I said, but took a few more seconds
before releasing my hair from the curling iron. The curl fell in a glorious
wave to join the others and I gently ran my fingers through the mass. Finally
satisfied at the look that had taken me less than thirty minutes to achieve, I
stood up from the chair and grabbed my sling purse from my bed.

"I'm ready," I said, and we turned around to
leave.

"Don't get me wrong, I am happy that you're
finally paying extra care to how you look now, but I don't like suffering for
it."

"C’mon, I’m sorry," I said, and held her
hand. She shot me a wary look.

"This wouldn't happen if you’d just woken up ten
minutes earlier."

"I don’t think I’m physically or mentally capable
of getting up before seven a.m."

She shook her head. "This is the last time, I mean
it,” she said sternly. I nodded in agreement like I’d done every morning since
midterms.

It was Monday again, and the third week after midterms.
The light breeze as we headed to the school block gently lifted the soft waves
on my head, and dangled strands of hair across my face. The wind grew heavier
around us as the sky grew increasingly dark, so we increased our pace to avoid
being caught in the impending rain.

Elisa headed to her class while I hurried off to mine,
arriving just as Mr. Barron was retrieving his things from his briefcase.

"Miss Baker," he called out in a warning
tone. I didn’t stop, and hurried to my seat with an apologetic smile on my
face. He started handing out our test papers as I settled down, and eventually
put mine on my desk.

"Good job, again," he said, and I looked down
to see an
A
written in a red marker
at the top of the page. I raised my eyes to see him peer down at me from above
his glasses, and sent him a tightlipped smile. Hopefully he'd soon start to
believe that I wasn't somehow cheating, despite all his eager attempts to prove
otherwise.

Through the rest of the periods however, I battled with
boredom until eventually, it was time to meet Elisa for lunch in the courtyard.

I took my seat across from her, and placed the test
paper on the table next to her tray of food. She sucked in a small breath.

"Again?"

I beamed.
"Again.
I think
Mr. Barron’s’ almost close to believing that I'm actually not cheating now.
This is the second test in two weeks.”

"But how are you doing it though?" she asked.
"You hate Math."

I shrugged and opened my sandwich pack. "Still do.
I just learnt that I don't have to love it to know what I'm doing. It requires
practice not passion."

"Well, it took you a while to learn that,"
she teased. I snatched the paper back.

"Funny."

She laughed. "Anyway, this is great ... but does
it have anything to do with Nathan?"

"Stop asking me that," I said, and took a
bite out of my sandwich.

"Well, I can't help it. You came back that day
without a word and now you've turned into
this
.
I can't help but wonder."

"I don't want to talk about him."

"I know that," she said. "But I also
think you'll want to know that he's back."

I stopped chewing. "He is?"

"Yes," she answered. "I saw him in the
cafeteria a few minutes ago."

"Well I didn't," I said, and I frowned at the
disappointment that was obvious in my voice. I resumed chewing.

"No worries, he'll find you," she said, but I
didn't respond. I didn't need her to know how wrong she was.

"By the way, rehearsals for the arts festival
start soon. Well, it's already been going on but the all day sessions begin
later this week."

I grunted, uninterested.

"Aren't you participating?" she asked,
sounding surprised. I looked up from my meal.

"No, I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to- I never do."

"You mean in your three years here you've just
stood by?"

"Actually, I've avoided it."

"Well, you shouldn't avoid it this time around. I
need someone with me."

I sighed, and told her that I’d think about it just so
that she could drop the subject, and my mind could go to other things. Like the
boy who’d practically rejected me a few weeks back. He was the first person I'd
ever felt that way about, and he'd thrown it back in my face.

That day after I'd left the park, I'd gone back to the
house after telling Elisa that I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be able to
stay until the work day ended. I did eventually move past it a few days later.

Then I decided to take some of his advice and create
some new dreams of my own. Something I actually had the power to do, which was
to make myself better in every aspect that mattered, and that began with my
appearance.

Elisa’s’ mom had helped me adjust my uniform just like
she'd done
Elisas
’, so now, instead of a pinafore
with a waistline that rested on my waist, the bodice had been extended to stop
a little below the middle of my hip. So the upper part was fitted to frame what
little curves I had managed to develop, while the bottom half was shortened in
an array of immaculate pleats that stopped a few inches above my knee.

The added effort in my studies was a decision that
followed, solely based on the fact that I deserved to not be insulted anymore,
by Nathan or by anyone else.

So I had moved on and was much better than how I was
when he had left me, and although I didn't expect him to have any
decision-changing epiphanies when he finally got to see me, I did expect a jaw
drop, or since I was talking about him here, slightly widened eyes. One thing
was for sure, either way and right now, I was fine and content, so the last
thing I was going to do was seek him out.

That was my resolve, backed up by the confidence that
came with my new self-image. Yet, by the end of school day, I’d hit someone
that was standing beside my locker as I jerked it open because I was too busy
studying the hallways for any sign of him. I’d also bumped into people because
I wasn't paying attention, some of whom accepted my apology while others just
made rude remarks or flashed irritated looks at me.

By the end of the day when I’d still not seen him, I
returned to my house and tried to completely put him out of my mind. It didn't
work, so I went early for dinner, and cajoled Elisa into standing at a corner
in front of the dining hall to chat up some boys that she knew. One of them I’d
seen around, and as far as I knew he was one of the popular ones in our year
and also Matthew's friend.

They started a conversation about midterms but I didn’t
pitch in or listen; my eyes kept watching the doors so that I could get a
glimpse of Nathan when he came in. I tried countless times to convince myself
of how ridiculous what I was doing was, but I couldn’t get myself to leave.
However when two more boys came over to join the conversation, I excused
myself, and left.

Just after I sat down at our table, I looked up and
behold; Nathan walked in with James.

“Damn it!” I cursed under my breath. I wanted to
quickly get up again and go over to pretend to ask Elisa an important question,
but I forced myself to stay put.

You’re beyond
this,
I kept repeating to myself, but I couldn’t help the disappointment
that was now lodged in the pit of my stomach. Elisa came over a few minutes
later and took a seat beside me.

 
“Did you see
him?” she asked. I nodded.

“Aren’t you going to go over to say hi?”

I shook my head.

Matthew came along then and I was thankful, because it
gave me someone else to focus on, and got Elisa to stop asking me questions
that I didn’t want to provide the answers to.

I paid more attention than was necessary to their chat,
slowly eating my dinner and listening to Elisa talk about her plans for the
festival. Once in a while my mind did slip up, along with an incredible urge to
glance over at his table. However, I was able to control it so when the end of
dinner came I was more than ready to leave. But Justin Faulk, the head boy,
walked to the front of the hall and demanded everyone's attention.

The hall grew quiet as everyone turned to listen.

“Hello,” he started. “As you all know, the festival is coming
up very soon so the headmaster has issued a starting date for the rehearsals.
It will be on Thursday morning, straight through the weekend and then all of
next week.”

A deafening roar erupted as everyone expressed their
delight at the news. Rehearsals meant that no academic work would be held
throughout. I couldn’t have cared less.

“So,” he continued, “you’ll all be meeting with your
house heads now, just to be briefed on the various steps to take before then. I
think
Cartmel
should take the first row of tables.”
He motioned to the first row. “That’s Sarah and Craig.”

“Lonsdale; second row with Allison and uh … Daniel.
Grizedale
; third
row with Kevin, and Isabel.
Bowland
can take
the back of the second row with Jessica and Mark. Then
Pendle
;
you guys can have the last row. That’s Beverly and Jimmy. However, Jimmy is not
around for the time being, I think he had some issues at home. So you’ll all
have to work with just Beverly for now, but if by Thursday he’s not back, the
housemaster will appoint someone in the interim.”

“And please, I encourage everyone to register and
participate in something. Your heads have the authority to serve out sanctions
otherwise. So, thank you and have fun.” he said and he walked away towards his
own house, which was
Bowland
- James’s’ house.

The hall became rowdy at once but soon, there was some
semblance of order as everyone found their houses. I saw Nathan move from the
Cartmel
houses’ row towards ours, but I lost sight of him
in the crowd.

Beverly came up to the side so that everyone could hear
her, and with an annoying bright smile on her face, she began.

She gave a briefing of all the various activities that
would be available this year, and then set up seniors to represent each of them
so that we could register our names.

“Remember,” she said in her abnormally high-pitched
voice. “We’re all required to participate, so make sure to register in at least
one of the activities. Anyone found wanting will be on sloth duty for the whole
season. Thank you.”

I stood up to leave as soon as she left, but Elisa
pulled me back down with a frown.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To my room, I’m exhausted.”

“Didn’t you just hear the sloth threat?”

I sighed. “Registration doesn’t end today. I’ll try to
make up my mind before Thursday.”

“Still, you have to come with
me
.”
she said, and she dragged me off to the different lines for the activities that
she was interested in. She registered with the fashion, cuisine and dance
groups, and then chose to hang around with Matthew while I found my way back to
my room.

*

Kate was sitting on my bed when
I walked in and although I was startled at first, I quickly recovered and gave
her a warm smile. I hadn't really spoken to her since we'd resumed so I was
sort of happy to see her there.

"Hey." I greeted, and she smiled back.

"How are you
Lennie
?”
she asked. I took a seat beside her.

“I’m fine. How
was your midterms
?”

“Midterms were good. I heard you spent yours in
London.”

“Yes I did, with Elisa.”

"And how was it?" she asked.

"It was nice," I replied, wondering why she
seemed so courteous. It felt like I was talking to a stranger.

“Well that’s good,” she said and stood to her feet. It
surprised me.

“You’re leaving?” I asked and she nodded, the smile
gone from her face.

“I just decided to check up on you, it’s been a while.”

“It has. Well, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she said and she forced a smile. I
watched her leave, a sense of foreboding remaining in her wake.

I got ready for bed and replaced my journal back underneath
my desk. It was only when I was nearly asleep that I wondered what it had been
doing on the table in the first place.

*

“I think Kate read my journal,”
I told Elisa as we headed to the gym court on Thursday morning. It had skipped
my mind for the past two days because I’d been preparing for and had a biology
test, but when we’d passed by the dining hall a few minutes earlier and spotted
her, it had instantly come to mind.

“Why do you think so?” Elisa asked, and I told her how
I’d found it on my table instead of underneath the desk where I always kept it.

“Did you write anything important in it?”

“Well, not really,” I answered, so she shrugged it off.

I didn’t bother telling her that I had written most of
my encounters with Nathan in it. It left my mind altogether as soon as we
arrived at the court, and met the pews already occupied by my housemates.
Excitement and laughter filled the air as people hung out and waited for the
session to begin.

Elisa and I took our seats, and the chaos was soon
halted when Beverly walked to the front with a megaphone to her mouth. She
spoke an overly loud greeting into it and although it was annoying, the hall
was soon quiet.

“We’ll begin immediately,” she said, “but firstly, I
need you all to take this as seriously as possible. No misbehaving will be
tolerated. We lost last year to Lonsdale, but this year that’s not going to
happen. There’s a lot of work to do and Jimmy’s still not back, but more on
that tomorrow.”