The Bitter End (9 page)

“You a
re looking more like your mother, Beth,” he said and it stabbed at my heart. I had heard him on many occasions tell my mother that she was looking tired and old and I knew he was not complimenting me at all. I decided to take the high road.

“Thank you,
” I said to him, which is not a custom we practice here, the thanking for anything.

He tilted his head and then I heard them crying and looked up the stairs.
Miko ignored it as any “good” mother would.

“Oh,
” I said as I walked past her quickly and she followed me as did Father as I ran up the stairs and then down the long hall until I stopped at my old room and peered in to see they had gutted it and made it into a nursery. How nice of them to do that seeing they have 100 fucking rooms here they could have done it with…but no, they erased me by gutting mine and placing the boys here. How fucking nice of them to do. I am sure it was Miko’s doing, cunt.

I heard the crying again and my fists clinched as
I stepped in and saw two nannies, each holding a bundle of evil. The thought of grabbing them both and running out the large bay window that I was read to as a child in did cross my mind. I mean if I killed all three of us now the world would be rid of the offspring, but knowing Miko she would pop out another fucking litter in a year, four this time instead of two just to collect some more pearls. I stepped up and took a breath as one of the nannies watched me closely. I looked down and saw him, one of my brothers anyway and I found my hatred seeping back into the recesses from which it came. He looked so new and absolutely perfect in every way. I then looked to the other nanny and saw my other brother and he looked just as the one before me did. I reached out and she hesitated before she handed him to me and then I turned with him in my arms feeling something I had never known before. Compassion. He opened his eyes up and I leaned in as I recognized them then I heard Miko’s annoying voice as she walked towards me and took him form me, handing him to the nanny quickly. He started to cry again. I stood there feeling awkward and totally out of place.

“What are their names?” I asked low at first and then I asked again a bit louder and Miko looked at me and then to Father.

“Augustus and Casius.”

I laughed and looked at the two boys.

“Way to ruin their worlds.”

“What?” Miko said and I looked at her.

“Those are really heavy names for babies.”

“They are Roman, very strong names as they will be.”

“Rome fell,” I whispered to Miko as I walked past her and out into the hallway. They followed me as Miko decided to be the bitch that she is known to be.

“I th
ink it is time for you to leave,” Miko said.

“Cas and Auggi,
” I said as I looked at the room.

“What?” Miko asked me and I looked at her.

“Nicknames for the boys,” I said and Miko looked at Father.

“Thomas? Ask her to leave.”

Father looked at me and then he did what I did not expect him to do.

“Why don’t we go to my study and talk
, Bethany,” he said as he started to walk and Miko looked as if she would be sick. I smiled at her as I looked back and the babies cried in the room. She would be a horrible mother; she already was and for some reason my heart ached for my brothers already, as if I would ever have the chance of knowing them.

I sat in his study as he lit a cigar and puffed on it. The smell of it was thick and would choke me if I had
n’t become accustomed to it when I was little. He always had a cigar or pipe and I found it addictive like incense or expensive oil. I had actually purchased pipe tobacco at one point in my life and left it open in my penthouse to simulate the smell of it but the nostalgic feel of it pissed me off and I stopped torturing myself. You can try your best to mimic memories or feelings of safety, but you will never truly have them unless you are happy. I think my happiness died when I was 8 and I caught him fucking a maid in this very room when I woke from a nightmare and needed someone to console me. He had seen me, so had she, and she disappeared from the staff the next day but her stench remained and my Father never looked the same to me again.

“Y
ou confuse me, not unlike your mother did.”

I pulled from my memories of the maid bent over the large desk before me and blinked a couple of times.

“Well then it should make you feel like old times,” I said as I leaned back and decided to just be me and not pretend that I have no anger in me.

“There is that venomous anger,” h
e said as he puffed on his cigar and I watched the thick smoke rise into the air.

“I guess once a
Bittermend, always a Bittermend,” I said and he smiled at me.

“That you are
, Bethany.”

I paused and then decided to get to the point.

“I need money,” I said and he stopped smoking and stared at me. He adjusted in his large chair and placed the cigar in his ivory ashtray which weighed too much to move without two people lifting it. It was a ridiculous trophy as was everything here.

“I tried to help you, I tried to make an arrangement with you that would have given you the life you wanted.”

“Well I fucked up,” I said and he looked confused.

“What is wrong with you?”

I looked around the room and adjusted on the chair.

“Nothing, I fucked up. I am sorry.”

He stood up and placed his hands on the large desk, staring at me closely.

“Have you been in an accident?”

“No.”

“Drugs?”

I shook my head. “No.”

He sat back down and then he laughed so hard it startled me a bit and I jerked in the chair. He stopped and pointed at me with his large finger and placed the cigar back into his mouth and shook his head.

“What?”

“You fell in love
, did you not?” he asked me and I leaned forward and placed my hands on the large armrests to each side of me.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I will be living in poverty if you do not help me.”

He slammed his fist on the desk and I actually jumped back into the leather behind me. He rose up as he had done so many times before when I was a child and he looked like a beast to me. I swallowed hard and told myself he would never hurt me. Even after all I had done while growing up to test his will he never once struck me and on occasion I wished that he had. Sometimes discipline is the only salvation and perhaps that is why I like it so rough in the bedroom.

“Do you not think that I worry about you
, Beth?” he said and I almost laughed, as it sounded ridiculous to me that he would ever worry about me. I was his disappointment, his mistake and reminder of what my mother refused to give to him. It would not shock me at all if he believed she willed to have me be a girl and not a boy. Not one bit. I am certain that the fact that she aborted children after me to spite him ate him up inside too but whose fault is that exactly? It would be his and his inability to keep his dick in his pants.

“I would be shocked,
” I said as I gritted my teeth a bit and he sat back down looking a bit upset about my answer.

“Well, I do as any Father would. I know you hate me
, Beth. I know you have hated me for a long time but hear me now. I am your Father and you are my daughter as hard as you have fought against it and me. Now, you have two brothers who will inherit our legacy but I would hope that you will know them as family and not as strangers as you do me.”

I sighed as I looked down at my hands. My palms were sweating a bit and this was the first time I could
ever remember him talking to me with the slightest bit of civility and true compassion in his voice. I then stood up as I swayed a bit on my feet. I guess this is how we react to loving gestures and I was almost ready to laugh about it until he looked at me and he was crying.

“I will restore your money, just leave him where he should be
, Beth. That is all you have to do for me. Just tell Ryan you will no longer see him.”

“I don’t think I can
, Father.”

He closed his eyes and then opened them back up, his expression changed back to the man that I knew him to be.

“Money or him, it is a simple choice. You know what to do, we are very good at telling people they mean nothing, Beth.”

I walked out as I felt a knot in my stomach from the reality of it. It seemed my Father did love me but with his love and money came his rules and I was not certain I could allow it take Ryan from me.

I sat in my bed and watched Ryan at our large bay windows. He stood naked and despite the claw marks to his back and bruising to his shoulder, of which I had caused him, he was perfect. It annoyed me to a certain degree just knowing that he could have anyone he desired. He was built for it. To seduce anyone at any time and I often wondered if I was just the biggest prize he had ever gone after. You have to worry about those things when money comes into play. Not just any money, my Father’s fortune, which was the largest in the world. He turned, and I smiled at his raging hard on. It is ridiculous that he is literally ready to fuck anytime, anywhere. It cannot be natural but having him every day is not something to complain about. There are plenty of women who would die to have him, and I am sure they would love to see me dead and out of the way as his “business” had ceased. I lied. I told Father Ryan was gone and I lied to Ryan and told him Father was okay with him being with me. It took some serious convincing on my end and of course and trips to the house have to be worked around Ryan wanting to play his games, hunting, golfing, boating…

The game seemed to be on, the one that consisted of time and how long I could play this game. I was desperate too to do it. I needed Ryan, maybe more than he needed me and I had practiced my speech a million times as to what I would say when the time came to tell the truth. You have to be ready to do what it takes for what you want. I could not let
him go. He crawled into the bed and under the sheets he went as I arched my back and he slid his hand under my ass to elevate it. His tongue lapped at my clit and I pulled the pillow over my eyes as I pushed all thoughts of any bullshit out of my mind. I need him. Not want, but need, and that places me in a dangerous position. In the end I am my Father’s daughter and Ryan was now a trophy I was not willing to hand over to anyone else. How long I could play the game became the obsession and my hiding him a true art. I cannot lie and say that for the next month I did not get excited each time I hid the truth away but as lying goes, once you start you get addicted to it and then it becomes a weird truth about yourself that you continue on with. Eating away at you and making you less human. My phone went off and I pulled it to my ear as Ryan continued to finger me under the blankets.

“What?” I said
as I slowly pulled the phone from my ear dropping it onto the bed. I reached down and pushed Ryan’s face from my pussy and slipped out of the bed. I walked to the large glass window and stared out at the city. Ryan stepped up behind me and placed his arms around me.

“What Beth?” he asked me and I whispered
, “Holland.”

****

We stood in the hospital room as I stared at her in the bed; all the machines were hissing and buzzing as they controlled her breathing and monitored her heart beat. I stepped aside as a nurse came in and adjusted her drip on one of the IV’s; she seemed to have the deluxe cocktail going on as tubes ran from everywhere. The nurse passed me by and I looked at the Teddy Bear in my hands and laughed, as I have no fucking clue why I got her one. Without a diamond collar on it, it seemed completely inadequate as far as gifts go for her. I sighed and tossed it aside as Ryan looked out the window and then back to me.

“I can’t believe she did this s
hit,” I said as I walked up and looked into her face. She looked pale and her mouth was held open with a round tube making her breath. I closed my eyes and squeezed her hand as I heard the door open and the doctor entered the room, stopping as he saw me and then spotting Ryan too.

“Oh, I apologize. I did not know she had visitors. I can leave.”

I turned and shook my head.

“Are you taking care of her then?” I asked and he stopped walking and smiled at me.

“Yes. I am Doctor Bail, I will be monitoring Holland.”

“Monitoring?” I asked him as he stepped up to me and looked soft in his expression. I am not used to being around people who truly care about others and he really looks like he does. How refreshing.

“Yes. Holland is in a coma,” he said and I covered my mouth and looked back at her.

“So when will she wake up?” I asked him and he stepped up to the bed with me.

“In my professional opinion I think maybe down the road…”

“Stop fucking around with me…when?” I asked him and he looked at me and then back to her.

“There is no brain activity, I have to be honest and tell you she will never wake up.”

“Oh my God,
” I said as I felt a bit dizzy and Ryan stepped up to me and placed his hands on my waist.