By this time, Huixian had a ready answer for such questions. ‘I’m afraid that Little Tiemei has become Old Tiemei. What’s
wrong with a barbershop? Do you think that someone working in a barbershop is inferior to other people? Aren’t we all serving
the people?’
With a worldly look, Wintersweet snorted contemptuously and said, ‘You so-called artistes don’t know how to give an honest
answer to anything. But I’m on to you people, don’t think I’m not. All you do is dance and sing and wear stage make-up. Have
you planted a rice seedling or made a single screw nut even once in your life? Serve the people, you say? The people are serving
you!’
‘Go and make that speech to somebody else,’ Huixian said. ‘You’re barking up the wrong tree with me. I gave up that life long
ago. I’m washing your hair now, aren’t I? You’re sitting and I’m standing, so who’s serving whom? Tell me that.’
That shut up Wintersweet, but just for a moment. Suddenly her eyes flashed as she looked up at Huixian. ‘Those are fine-sounding
words, Little Tiemei, but you’ll never be happy serving people like us. I know why you’re working in the barbershop, you’re
practising for the day when they send you to cut the hair of high-ranking officials.’
Huixian had been getting angry, but she had to laugh at this last comment. ‘You certainly do know how to say stupid things,’
she said. ‘I’ve seen my share of high-ranking officials, with their cooks, their bodyguards and their secretaries. But I’ve
never heard of one having his own barber.’
Another snort from Wintersweet. ‘Don’t get it into your head that you’re a woman of the world. You’re still a novice, and
I’m telling you that a woman who survives by working with her hands is fated to live on gruel, but a woman who gets by thanks
to her good looks or who has a powerful backer will eat and drink well.’
‘Now you’re making sense,’ Huixian said. ‘I’m not good-looking and I don’t have a backer, which is why I’m serving you.’
Making clicking sounds with her tongue, Wintersweet thought for a moment before replying, ‘That’s strange, I heard you had
lots of backers. There’s Zhao Chuntang in town, Secretary He at the county level, and Bureau Chief Liu in the district government.
Don’t tell me they’ve all suddenly stopped backing you.’
Clearly annoyed, Huixian said with a sneer, ‘Are you here to have your hair done or to cook up stories? Front or back, I’ve
got nobody, not even a mother and father. Where would I get a backer? People like you may yearn for a backer, but not me.’
That rebuff silenced Wintersweet, but her mind kept racing. In the end, she was incapable of controlling her tongue. ‘I know
why you’re here, Little Tiemei. You’ve been hung out at the grass-roots level. For how long? Six months? A year or two? I
advise you to
ask the leadership for a timescale. Listen to me when I say that even a young girl grows old one day, like a pearl that turns
yellow, and there’s no future for anyone who’s old and ugly.’
Huixian’s tolerance ended at that moment. I saw anger and loathing in her eyes. She dug her fingers into Wintersweet’s scalp,
snatched a towel off the rack and jammed it down on the woman’s head. ‘I’ll hang out as long as it takes – until the day I
die if necessary. Don’t you worry about me. I’ve been hung out all my life, I’m used to it by now.’
I don’t know why, but I couldn’t hide my head any longer. I lowered the newspaper and cast a ferocious glare Wintersweet’s
way. ‘If you can’t hold your tongue, you cunt, I hope you choke to death!’ I spoke so softly the target of my curse could
not possibly have heard me as she followed Huixian back to the chair, her hair dripping wet.
‘Why get mad at me, Little Tiemei?’ she said. ‘I’m just giving you advice. It’s for your own good.’
But Little Chen had heard what I’d said. He turned and glared at me. ‘Who are you calling a cunt? And who’s supposed to choke
to death? What’s a big boy like you doing sounding off just because a couple of women are bickering?’
‘I didn’t say anything,’ I said. ‘I’m reading the paper.’
‘What are you here for?’ he said. ‘Why squeeze your way into a busy shop just to read the paper? This is a barbershop, not
a reading room.’
‘I’m waiting for a haircut, what’s wrong with that?’
‘Are you sure you didn’t come to read the paper? I’ll bet you’re not interested in reading the paper
or
getting a haircut. You’re sneaking around like a US Chiang Kai-shek agent. Who are you and where are you from?’
Now the people took notice of me, and I saw Huixian glance my way. She hadn’t got over her anger, not completely; it was a
lazy, casual glance. But then her eyes lit up. She recognized me, I
could tell. Pointing her comb at me, she said, ‘It’s you, you’re that … something Liang.’
She smiled, and I saw in her smile that she was pleasantly surprised, if somewhat puzzled, racking her brains to come up with
a name. How depressing. How could she have forgotten my name? Ku Dongliang would have worked, or Elder Brother Dongliang,
or even my nickname, Kongpi. She pointed at me, then dropped her hand and said with obvious embarrassment, ‘What a rotten
memory I’ve got. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but it won’t come out. It’s something Liang. You’re from one of the barges
of the Sunnyside Fleet, aren’t you? Now I remember – there’s a sofa on yours.’
That was the sum total of her memories, the sofa on our boat, and I was reminded of how Yingtao had tried to stir up trouble
between Huixian and me after they’d had an argument. Yingtao had come looking for me and said, ‘Go on, be her lackey if that
makes you feel good. But I’m telling you, Huixian doesn’t like you, she likes your sofa and the treats your mother sends.
She’s bourgeois through and through, a girl who wants the good life.’
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘I’ve forgotten your name, but only for the moment.’ Seeing how disappointed I was,
she cast a guilty smile my way before turning to the people in the shop. ‘What’s his name? Remind me, someone. All I need
is one word to jog my memory.’
A young man in a checked sports shirt, a crane operator, knew me. He was standing there with a peculiar smile. In a pinched
voice he said, ‘Kong. You know, Empty.’
‘What do you mean, Kong? Stop playing around. Empty isn’t a family name,’ Huixian said. ‘Who are you, Mr Full?’
‘I thought you said all you needed was one word. I know his nickname, it’s Kongpi.’
Aha! Now she had it. Either she was embarrassed or she was oversensitive, but I saw a change come over her. Her cheeks
reddened as she rolled up her client’s smock and hit me on the shoulder with it. Then she covered her face and giggled. ‘Me
and my rotten memory! You’re Ku Dongliang, aren’t you? I pretty much survived on the snacks you gave me when we were kids.’
What could I say? I heard a whispering sound as a gentle breeze redolent with the smell of Glory soap swept past my ear. She
was shaking the barber’s smock in my direction. ‘Ku Dongliang,’ she said in a pretend commanding voice, ‘come on, I’ll cut
your hair.’
Quickly putting my hands on top of my head, I said, ‘It’s not long enough to cut today. Besides, I have to get back to the
barge.’
‘You’ll have to get it cut some time, if not today.’ She inspected my hair. ‘What do you use on it, a comb or a broom? That’s
not a head of hair, it’s a bird’s nest. Are you waiting for a bird to lay an egg in that?’ Putting her smock to work flicking
loose hair off the chair, she said, ‘What are you waiting for? Quit stalling and sit down.’
Now what? I couldn’t make up my mind. Huixian nudged the chair with her foot, swivelling it around towards me and creating
a gust of wind that made the hem of her smock flutter enough to let me see that she was wearing a blue knee-length skirt underneath.
It too was caught by the gust of wind, revealing her knees, her knees, those knees, two lovable little bun-like mounds, two
alluring, fruit-fresh knees. The scene had a dream-like quality. Be careful, I heard a voice whisper sternly, be very careful.
It sounded like my father, but could have been my own voice. I didn’t move and didn’t know which way to look. A person’s gaze
can be dangerous, it can give away your secrets. Whenever I sensed this danger in the air, I reminded myself: Above the neck
and below the knees. But I didn’t have the nerve to look at her neck
or
her knees, so I kept my eyes on the floor, where there were clumps of dark hair, some long, some short, like an archipelago
of dark islands. Huixian was standing on one of those dirty islands with her white half-heeled shoes and flesh-coloured
nylons, on which a tuft of hair – man’s or woman’s, no way to tell – hung precariously.
‘What’s wrong with you? You look like a frightened criminal.’ She studied me, as doubt crept into her eyes. ‘Ku Dongliang,’
she said playfully, ‘you haven’t changed. You’re as peculiar as ever. Why did you come to a barbershop if you don’t want a
haircut?’
What could I tell her? Nothing. ‘Not today,’ I stammered. ‘Maybe next time. It’s getting late. My dad’s in poor health, so
I have to go and get dinner ready for him.’
She uttered a gasp, probably reminded of my father and his famous genital mutilation. She clearly felt like laughing, but
not wanting to embarrass me, she covered her mouth. When she saw what I was gazing at, she looked down and spotted the tuft
of hair on her stocking. ‘Damn,’ she said, ‘no wonder I felt an itch. So that’s why you’re looking down there.’ With a stamp
of her foot, the hair fell to the floor, then she looked up at me and, out of the blue, asked, ‘How are my surrogate parents?
I asked Desheng’s wife to invite them to come and see me, but they never have. They must be unhappy with me.’
She had a cold side, but she also had her impulsive moments, and I could tell she wanted me to smooth things over for her
with Sun Ximing and his wife. ‘Why would they be unhappy with you?’ I said. ‘They think a haircut here costs too much. They
don’t part with their money easily.’
‘Costs too much? How much can a haircut cost at the People’s Barbershop? Go and tell them to bring the whole family. I’ll
shampoo, cut, blow-dry and perm, and I won’t charge them anything. I’m here to serve the people.’
I told her I would, then went over to retrieve my bag from the corner, with a roomful of curious eyes on me. Their expressions
varied, but you could hear the wheels turning in their heads. I had no idea what they were thinking, but Huixian’s display
of friendliness towards me had upset them, especially the fellow in
the checked sports shirt, who was sitting in one of the chairs. He stuck out his foot and kicked my bag. ‘What are you hiding
in there, Kongpi?’ he said. ‘You bring it with you every time you come ashore. If I was in that security group, you can bet
I’d want to search it.’
I glared at him and unzipped my bag. ‘You want to search it? Go ahead, I dare you.’
He gave it a quick glance, but before he could say another word, Little Chen nudged me on the shoulder. ‘Go on, get out of
here,’ he said. ‘This is no place for you to be showing off. Don’t come back unless you need a haircut. This is a barbershop,
not a public park.’
If he hadn’t been one of Huixian’s fellow barbers, I wouldn’t have stood for that kind of nasty treatment. I turned and walked
to the door. Huixian came up and patted my bag. ‘You can’t blame people for being suspicious. Why do you have to bring a big
bag like that with you when you come ashore?’ She squeezed it once, then a second time, a habit I knew well. Ever since she
was a little girl she had been in the habit of squeezing people’s bags. Mine was obviously filled with cans and other stuff
which was of no interest to her. She pulled her hand back, reached into the pocket of her smock and brought out a stick of
chewing gum, which she handed to me. ‘Give this to Xiaofu for me, would you? He asked me for a stick of gum when we met on
the street once. I told him I’d get one for him, and a promise is a promise.’
I tossed the gum into my bag.
‘How’s Yingtao doing? Thinking of getting married?’
She’d forgotten my name, but not Yingtao, her mortal enemy, and that really made me mad. ‘How should I know? Who cares if
she’s getting married or not?’
‘I just asked. What are you so stressed about?’ Then, with a hint of mischief, she pointed at me and said, ‘I’m not trying
to be your matchmaker or anything.’
Apparently, her animosity towards Yingtao hadn’t faded, and I waited to hear what she’d say next. I didn’t have long to wait.
‘When you get back, tell her to stop talking behind my back. I’m a nobody now, a barber, so there’s nothing for her to be
envious about, and nothing to talk about.’
It was not a welcome assignment, and as I walked out of the barbershop, my mind was a welter of confused thoughts. After not
seeing her for so long, I’d had a friendlier reception than I’d imagined. She seemed open and approachable, which gave me
a warm feeling. But even more, I felt a sense of loss. How could she have forgotten my name? Or had it all been an act? Not
finding an answer, my mood soured. She had asked me about everyone but me, and maybe all she could recall about me was that
I was Kongpi. I walked quickly out on to the street, then turned for another look at the barbershop. The sunflower by the
door had opened happily to greet the bright sun. What a great thing a sunflower is! As I stared at the flower, I could imagine
Huixian wishfully planting a seed outside the barbershop door and watering it each morning. That made me feel better.
Now that I’d left the barbershop and Huixian, my imagination took hold, and my enthusiasm returned with a vengeance. I imagined
a conversation with Huixian. She was interested in me. ‘How old are you, Ku Dongliang, twenty something? How come you’re still
single? Can’t get a girl?’ What do I say to that? ‘Don’t look at me like you’re unworthy, like you’re seeing me through a
crack in the door. I could get one if I wanted. Six-Fingers Wang’s oldest daughter could come into my cabin on her own, but
I wouldn’t thump her. I don’t want to thump anybody, believe it or not. Didn’t you once say that Chunsheng’s little sister
will change into a beauty when she’s eighteen? Well, she flirts with me day in and day out, but believe me, she’s wasting
her time. I’m not one of those guys who’ll say anything to make himself look good. Have I ever lied to you? If you want to
know, there’s a girl on
shore who likes me too. You know Li Juhua, who runs the oil pump on the pier, don’t you? Well, the only thing that mars her
good looks is that white patch of skin on her neck. I came ashore in the rain one day, and she offered me an umbrella without
my having to ask for it. I don’t need to tell you why she did that, do I? Nor do I have to tell you what it meant when I turned
her offer down.’ I imagined Huixian’s reaction to hearing this: ‘You have high standards,’ she’d say. ‘So what kind of girl
do you like? Want me to introduce you to someone?’ How do I answer that? That’s my deepest, darkest secret, and I have to
be prepared to reveal it. It would take considerable skill to do it right. I definitely wouldn’t say, ‘My standards aren’t
all that high. Someone like you would do just fine.’ That would be humbling myself. And I definitely wouldn’t say, ‘I’m waiting
for the right person. I won’t marry anybody but her.’ However veiled this comment might be, it could easily earn me a strong
rebuff: ‘You’re waiting for the right person, but what if she’s not waiting for you? Wouldn’t you just be wasting your time?’
If forced to say something, the safest solution would be to hide my meaning behind code words, like I did in my diary: ‘The
water gourd loves only the sunflower. The water gourd is waiting for the sunflower.’