The Casual Rule (13 page)

If I’m to be completely honest with myself, I’m a little confused. I thought the sex was pretty spectacular, the kind you’re instantly addicted to, yet I haven’t heard a peep from Ben. Not a call. Not a text. Nada. Maybe I did suck in the sack and he was just being nice. Or worse, he has a long list of weekend screws and I was just a number. Was I the Friday entry in his “To Do” list… or rather his “Who to Do” list?

Thoughts of that clingy woman-hating Cam-eel bitch flash through my brain. Is he with her? No, no…he said they aren’t involved like that anymore. I know who he sees shouldn’t bother me. But it does. It makes me feel a little cheap.

Is there such a thing as monogamous casual dating? Would it be okay with me if he was out banging half of Manhattan at the same time he was banging me? I don’t know how I feel about that. I’d like to think I was a little bit special. If I ask Allie, I’ll get another dissertation on the rules of casual dating. I don’t know if I’m up to it.

I know I’ll see him in two days when he meets with Vivian. Maybe I could pull him aside and ask, then decide. I know a boyfriend is not on my radar. I don’t want that kind of obligation, but I don’t want to be one of countless many either. That doesn’t feel like me. I need to hash this out with Ben…when our clothes are on.

~o0o~

“Seeing Casual Ben today?” Allie asks, her brow arched.

“How did you know?” I frown.

“You woke up a half hour early and you’re wearing a shorter-than-usual skirt.”

“You picked the wrong profession, detective.”

We both know she’s right. I intentionally chose this outfit because I knew I’d see Ben. The white lace top with a white camisole underneath screams sexy virgin. The short grey pleat front skirt just covers the garter belt clipped to my thigh high stockings. It’s my way of feeling secretly sexy around him. My high heel black leather ankle boots with a side buckle tell you I have a naughty side. It’s the perfect combination of suggestive yet still work appropriate.

“Allison Lewis, Private Dick. I like the sound of that,” she says proudly.

“You would.” I laugh. “I’m running out the door. See you tonight.”

“Unless you get your very own private dick, then I may not see you until tomorrow.” She wiggles her brows.

“Allie…” I shake my head. Words escape me. Although I don’t think I’d mind one particular dick… Hopefully private for just me.

~o0o~

Ben is the last appointment today. This day is going to drag. I haven’t heard anything from him since Friday night. I’ve reconciled the fact that this is the way it’s done. No communication unless we’re looking to hook up. Once I readjusted my expectations, I feel more comfortable about it. It’s a two way street. Although I would have liked a little more Ben time this past weekend. If I wasn’t such a chicken shit, I would have called him. I think as I get more comfortable with this arrangement, I’ll get a little more daring.

I’ve stayed away from all salads and any sandwiches that contain lettuce, parsley, oregano or basil for lunch. I’ve checked my teeth three times. I’m not going through the greenery in the teeth debacle again. Once was enough for me.

I look at the time in the corner of my computer screen and see it’s almost Ben O’clock. My heart races and my legs bounce up and down like a giddy schoolgirl. It’s time to do my Pre-Ben prep. I pull out the compact mirror from my desk drawer and check out all the angles. Hair, makeup and teeth checked. I’m good to go.

At four-thirty on the dot, Ben walks through the office door. My heart has now relocated to my throat. I briefly close my eyes and inhale his Benessence wafting through the office. Damn this guy smells good. He looks perfect, just perfect, in a pair of dark jeans, and a charcoal turtleneck. His muscular chest sure can rock those turtlenecks. Yum. I look down at my hand and it’s trembling, actually trembling. I need to hone it in and relax. He’s just a man. Well, a godlike man who had his hands and lips all over my naked body.

“Good afternoon, Julia. It’s good to see you again.” He smiles cordially as he extends his hand out to shake mine.

Seriously? I had his
not so little Ben
in my mouth five freaking days ago and all I get is a courteous handshake and a “Good to see you”? I don’t expect him to bring flowers, but something a little less formal would have been nice.

“Ben, good to see you.” I place my hand in his and we shake. I feel the spark again. I wonder if he feels it too. The warmth of his skin, even from this brief touch, has my body tingling. Couple that with his unique Benessence and I’m afraid I might just pull an Allie and service him at the foot of Vivian’s desk.

“Ben, nice to see you again. Come right in. Julia, you as well.” I startle in my seat. I was so preoccupied ogling Ben that I didn’t realize Vivian had been standing in the arch of her doorway the whole time. Maybe that’s why Ben was so aloof toward me.

Ben, the gentleman that he is, stands at Vivian’s doorway until I walk by him. It’s taking all my willpower not to jump his bones and straddle him. Ben looks forward and politely nods. This polite shit is royally pissing me off.

The leather chair makes a loud, obnoxious squeak as I sit down. Fabulous, now they’ll think I broke wind. “Stupid chair,” I mumble loud enough for them to hear and adjust my position in the chair.

Vivian and Ben are doing most of the conversing. She pulls up the photos Marcello emailed to the office on her computer screen. As Marcello predicted, there’s not a bad picture to be found. There’s one picture in particular that I really like. Ben is seated on a stool. His arms are crossed, showing off his biceps. His hair is a little messy, but in that playful, run your fingers through it, kind of way. His dark eyes are hypnotizing, like they could see right through me. And his smile… Damn, I forgot how much I love his dimples. God, I want him.

While they’re busy discussing each photograph, I float in and out of the conversation with an occasional “Mmmhmm”. I don’t want to look at pictures anymore when real-life Ben is inches away from me. I can stare at him all day. He leans in toward the desk to get a closer look at the screen while stroking his bottom lip with his index finger. I’m so ridiculous; I’m actually jealous of an index finger.

The attention to his mouth brings back memories of his soft lips all over my naked body, his warm moist breath on my neck, kissing me, licking me, playfully nibbling my hips, my breasts, and pounding his rock hard erection inside of me. Damn I want him and the bastard is sitting there cool as a cucumber, talking cover art. My hands are clammy and my skin flushed. How the hell can’t he feel the heat between us?

“What do you think, Julia?” Vivian snaps me out of my daze.

“Uh… I like that one.” I point to a random picture. It doesn’t matter which one I choose, Ben looks amazing in all of them. The camera was invented for him. There’s one picture that really shows off the stubble on his face. The stubble that rubbed its way across my neck, down my stomach to my inner thighs…. Damn it, I have to stop this.

I shake my head and refocus, dragging myself back into the conversation. Blah, blah, blah is all I hear.
Look at me, you bastard.
Give me a clue you are thinking of me the same way I’m thinking of you. I am not going to be satisfied until I trip him up. I’m just going to have to work a little harder.

“Vivian, will the photo placement be on the inside sleeve or back cover?” I ask, tilting my head while twisting a loop of hair around my finger, exposing part of my neck to Ben. I already know it’s going on the back cover. Ben’s face alone would sell the damn book. I just want Ben to look at my naked skin.

“Back,” Vivian answers.

“MmmHmm.” I nod. I purposely hum instead of answering with a word. Humming sounds like groaning and that will make him think of sex. I peek to my side, no reaction. Grrr…

I’m so childish. I need to get my head back into my job.

Legs! I know he likes my legs; he spent enough time kissing them. I casually cross them, tapping my foot in the air to draw his attention my way. My skirt rides up, exposing more of my thigh. Perfect! I lean back in my chair while Vivian explains to Ben the final stages of publication. Gently, I put my hand on my knee and not-so-innocently move it up and down, making small circles with my fingernail. The attention to my legs will make him think of sex. Ben glances at my legs for a brief second, straightens his posture then calmly continues his conversation with Vivian, never missing a beat.

So… that’s the way it’s going to be. This man is frustrating the hell out of me. I’m stepping up my game, bringing it up a few notches. I may not be a natural born seductress, but I’ve watched enough late night cable movies to know how to get his attention.

 I place my hand on the hem of my skirt and oh-so-slowly slide it up until the band around my stockings and the garter belt’s clips are exposed. I sit back leaning away from Ben, allowing an unobstructed view for his eyes. I rest an elbow on the arm of the chair, leaning my chin on my hand, with a finger touching my bottom lip, as I nod along with the conversation.

After a little while of talking shop, Ben inhales a quick breath and shifts in his chair, leaning away from me. I sneak a quick glance at him; his eyes are peeking at my legs. They quickly dart back up to Vivian, as he continues his conversation with her, cool and relaxed.

I growl to myself with frustration. I give up. I can’t ruffle him at all. I don’t have many tricks up my sleeve and I’ve run out of ideas. Maybe he just isn’t as into me as I hoped.

Luckily it’s a short meeting, so my torture doesn’t linger on for hours. Vivian asks me to stay behind so we can finish out our day. I know she needs to get home on time for some school function for Justin.

“Have a good night Vivian. Thank you for everything,” he says as he shakes her hand.

“It’s what I do.” Vivian smiles.

“Julia, thank you. Have a good night.” He shakes my hand. My heart sinks— no secret wink, no knowing glance, no lingering hold. Nothing. Friday night was just talk. I guess I was just a one-night stand after all. I didn’t expect flowers and candy, but I thought we were going to see each other again. Sometime. I think I’m going to be sick. I have to hand it to him, he’s slick. I was played.

“Thank you. You too,” I croak out as I watch him walk out the door. I pull myself together, put my work face back on and sit back down to finish out my day.

~o0o~

Once Vivian leaves, I walk back to my desk, log out of my computer, and grab my bag and coat. I feel defeated and maybe a little used. I really thought we clicked.

I’ll have to shake this experience off as a lesson learned… All men are dirtbags. I sigh and decide I need to move on. I should ask Allie if I should pick up something for dinner. I fish my cell phone out of the bottom of my bag to text her. The little green light is already blinking. I guess she beat me to the punch. Should I tell her right away that Ben is an ass? I’ll just wait until I’m home.

I touch the message icon and blink when I see who it’s from.

*
I wanted to fuck you on that desk. My place after work tonight?
*

I purse my lips in a failed attempt to hide my smile. I text him back.

*Leaving now. Address?*

~o0o~

Chapter 7

The butterflies are fluttering like crazy in my stomach as I walk to Ben’s apartment. I can’t believe how nervous I am. With each step closer to his building, my heart races a little faster. This is what he does to me. He energizes me, arouses me and unnerves me. This relationship, for lack of a better word, is exciting. Our limited communication makes the times that I do see him feel exhilarating, fresh… and a little wicked.

I whistle to myself as I look up and down Ben’s building. I thought it, now I know it. Ben comes from money. You can’t live in a place like this unless you have an impressive bank statement. I close my eyes, count to five, and exhale. Nope, that didn’t work. I’m still a bundle of nerves. I’ll have to fake my confidence.

There’s a tall, brawny doorman at the entrance to the lobby. He’s built like a few of the bouncers I’ve seen at some high-end bars, but better dressed in a classic gray overcoat and hat. No one is going to get past this guy.

“Ma’am. May I help you?” he asks courteously.

“Err… Yes, I’m here to see Mr. Martin. Ben Martin.”

“Your name, please?”

I clear my throat. “Julia Conti.”

“Yes. Mr. Martin called down a few minutes ago. The elevator to the twentieth floor is to your right. Have a pleasant evening Miss Conti.” He tips his hat, opens the door, and politely smiles.

“Thanks. Same to you.” I smile back and walk to the elevators.

While I’m waiting for the elevator to arrive, I look around the lobby area. Wow, this is luxurious. It’s nicer than some hotels I’ve visited. Dark marble floors, a modern seating area, a freaking concierge desk… For a residential building? That’s insane. Yeah, we’re talking big bucks. The elevator pings, the steel doors slide open, and I step in.

Once inside, I watch each floor number light up over the elevator doors as we get closer and closer to the twentieth floor. The elevator in my building is so old; I always make sure I pee before getting on it in case I get stuck in between floors. I don’t think I have anything to worry about here.  By the time the elevator passes the sixth floor, I exhale the breath I was holding. My legs are a jittery mess; my palms are clammy, and my heart is pounding.

Attractive, I know.

I’m excited; I’m anxious… and I’m horny as hell. What a combination. I have to remember to address the monogamous question while we still have our clothes on. I know there’s no way I’m going to think straight once he touches me.

The elevator stops at the twentieth floor. The doors slide open. I walk out to a beautiful hallway. Dark brown tile flooring with pale yellow walls decorated with modern stainless steel lighting sconces from one end of the hallway to the other. I spot Ben’s place immediately, apartment 2012 and walk to the door. I hesitate before knocking, patting down my hair, and straightening my coat. I close my eyes and take a few calming breaths.  This is it. I swallow hard and knock on the door. My insides are doing flips in anticipation of what’s waiting for me on the other side.