The Collected Novels of José Saramago (354 page)

C
ONTRARY TO WHAT MOST PEOPLE THINK, MAKING A DECISION
is one of the easiest decisions in the world, as is more than proved by the fact that we make decision upon decision throughout the day, there, however, we run straight into the heart of the matter, for these decisions always come to us afterward with their particular little problems or, to make ourselves quite clear, with their rough edges needing to be smoothed, the first of these problems being our capacity for sticking to a decision and the second our willingness to follow it through. Not that either one or the other is lacking in Tertuliano Máximo Afonso as regards his relationship with Maria da Paz, we were witnesses to the fact that, in recent hours, this has undergone a huge qualitative change, as people say nowadays. He has decided to live with her and is absolutely sure about that, and if this decision has not yet taken concrete shape, or been actioned, which is another thing people say nowadays, it is because the shift from word to action also has its difficulties, its rough edges, it is vital, for example, for the spirit to summon up sufficient strength to push the indolent body into fulfilling its duty, not to mention
the prosaic matter of logistics, which cannot be resolved from one moment to the next, for example, who should live in whose apartment, if Maria da Paz should move into her beloved’s modest home or if Tertuliano Máximo Afonso should move into his beloved’s more ample abode. Cuddled up on the sofa or lying in bed, the engaged couple’s latest thinking on the subject, despite the natural resistance each one feels when it comes to abandoning the domestic shell to which they are accustomed, has led them to opt for the second alternative, given that there would be plenty of space in Maria da Paz’s apartment for Tertuliano Máximo Afonso’s books, but not enough space in Tertuliano Máximo Afonso’s apartment for Maria da Paz’s mother. On this front, things could not be going better. The trouble is that while Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, after pondering all the advantages and dangers, did finally tell his mother about the extraordinary case of the duplicate men, albeit smoothing some of the rougher, more jagged edges, there is no sign of his keeping the promise he made to Maria da Paz when, having admitted that he had lied to her about his reasons for writing the letter to the production company, he had postponed revealing to her the information that would make his half confession full, sincere, and conclusive. He did not mention it, and she did not ask, and the few words that would open that final door, Do you remember, my love, when I lied to you, Do you remember, my love, when you lied to me, could not be spoken, and had this man or this woman been given ample time to bring the whole painful business to a close, they would probably both have justified their silence by saying that they did not wish to spoil the happiness of these hours with a tale of cruelty and genetic perversity. It will not be long before we discover the tragic consequences of leaving unexcavated a second-world-war bomb in the belief that it was too old ever to explode. Cassandra was right, the Greeks will burn Troy.

For two days now, determined to finish once and for all the proposal that the headmaster had asked him to write for the ministry of education, Tertuliano Máximo Afonso has barely looked up from his desk. Although no date has yet been set for his move to Maria da Paz’s apartment, he wants to be free of the task as soon as possible so that there are no complications when he moves to his new home, he will have quite enough to do, what with sifting through papers and imposing order on his many books. So as not to distract him, Maria da Paz has not phoned him, and he prefers it like that, in a way it is as if he were saying good-bye to his previous life, to the solitude, peace, and privacy of his apartment, which, oddly enough, the noise of the typewriter does not disturb. He had lunch at his usual restaurant and came straight back, another few days and he should finish, all he will have to do then is correct it and type it out again, yes, retype the whole thing, one thing is sure, sooner rather than later, he will have to do as most of his colleagues have already done and buy a computer and a printer, it’s embarrassing to be still digging with a spade when the very latest in plows and plowshares are the norm. Maria da Paz will initiate him into the mysteries of computers, she has studied the subject and understands them, in the bank where she works, every desk has a computer on it, it isn’t like it used to be in the old-fashioned registry offices. The doorbell rang. Who can it be at this hour, he wondered, annoyed at the interruption, it isn’t his upstairs neighbor’s day to come in and clean, the postman leaves any mail in the box downstairs, and only a few days ago, the men from the water, gas, and electric companies called to read their
respective meters, perhaps it’s one of those young men trying to sell him an encyclopedia that describes the habits of the monkfish. The doorbell rang again. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso opened the door, before him stood a bearded man, and this man said, It’s me, although I may not look like me, What do you want, asked Tertuliano Máximo Afonso in a low, tense voice, I just want to talk to you, replied Antonio Claro, I asked you to phone me when you got back from holiday and you didn’t, Anything we had to say to one another has already been said, Possibly, but I still have something to say to you, Sorry, I don’t understand, That’s only natural, but you can’t expect me to say it here on the landing, outside your front door, with the risk that the neighbors might hear, Whatever it is, I’m not interested, On the contrary, I think you’ll be very interested indeed, it’s about your lady friend, Maria da Paz is her name I believe, What’s happened, Nothing as yet, but that’s precisely what we have to talk about, If nothing has happened, then there’s nothing to be said, Nothing’s happened yet, I said. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso opened the door wider and stood to one side, Come in, he said. António Claro entered the apartment and, since the other man seemed reluctant to move from where he was standing, asked, Aren’t you going to offer me a chair, I think we would talk better sitting down. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso looked distinctly irritated and, without a word, went into the living room that also served as his study. Antonio Claro followed, looked around as if choosing the best place, and decided on the armchair, then, as he carefully removed the false beard, said, I suppose this is where you were sitting when you saw me for the first time. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso did not reply. He remained standing, his stiff posture a clear protest, Say what you have to say and then get out of my sight, but António Claro
was in no hurry, If you don’t sit down, he said, I’ll have to stand up and I’d really rather not. He looked serenely about himself, taking in the books, the engravings on the walls, the typewriter, the scattered papers on the desk, the phone, then he said, I see you were working, I’ve obviously chosen a bad moment to come and talk to you, but, given the urgency of the matter that brings me here, I had no option, And what was it that brought you here uninvited, As I said at the front door, it’s about your lady friend, What have you got to do with Maria da Paz, More than you might imagine, but before I explain how, why, and to what extent, let me show you this. From his inside jacket pocket he took a piece of paper folded in four, which he unfolded and offered to Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, holding it with the very tips of his fingers as if about to drop it, I would urge you to take this letter and read it, he said, unless you want to force me to be rude and throw it on the floor, besides, it won’t be new to you, you must surely remember mentioning it to me when we met at my house in the country, the only difference was that, at the time, you said that you yourself had written it, when, in fact, the signature is that of your friend. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso glanced at the piece of paper and returned it, How did you get this, he asked, sitting down, It took quite a bit of work, but it was worth it, replied António Claro, adding, In every sense, Why, Well, I have to admit that, initially, I was prompted to consult the production company’s filing system by a rather base emotion, namely, a little touch of vanity, narcissism I think it’s called, in short, I wanted to see what you had written about supporting actors in a letter of which I was the subject, But that was just a pretext, a way of finding out your real name, that’s all, And you succeeded, It would have been better if they had never replied, Too late, my friend, too late, you’ve opened
Pandora’s box and now you have to live with the consequences, you have no alternative, There are no consequences, the matter is dead and buried, That’s what you think, What do you mean, You’re forgetting your friend’s signature, Oh, I can explain that, How, It just seemed to me that it would be best if I remained out of sight, Now it’s my turn to ask you what you mean, Just that I wanted to remain in the shadows until the last moment, and then make a surprise appearance, You certainly did that, Helena hasn’t been the same since, it really shook her up, knowing that there’s another man in the city exactly like her husband has left her nerves in shreds, although now, with the help of tranquilizers, she’s feeling a little better, but only a little, Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset her, You should have foreseen that, all you had to do was put yourself in my place, But I didn’t know you were married, Even so, imagine, just as an example, that I was to leave here and go and tell your friend Maria da Paz that you, Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, and I, António Claro, are alike, exactly alike, even down to the size of our penises, think of the shock to the poor woman, Don’t you dare, Oh, don’t worry, I haven’t told her and I won’t either. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso leaped to his feet, What does that mean, I haven’t told her and I won’t either, what do those words mean, That’s a futile question, a rhetorical question, a question intended to gain time or because you don’t know what else to say, Just cut the crap and answer my question, You can keep your violent tendencies for later, but just for your own good, I should tell you that I know enough karate to be able to knock you down in five seconds, admittedly, I’ve rather neglected my training lately, but I’m more than a match for someone like you, just because we’re identical and have the same-size penis doesn’t mean we’re equal in strength, Get out of here right now, or I’ll
call the police, Why not call the television, the photographers, the press, in a matter of minutes we’ll be a worldwide sensation, Let me just remind you that if this got out, your career would be ruined, said Tertuliano Máximo Afonso in warning tones, Possibly, but the career of a supporting actor is of no importance to anyone but himself, That’s enough of a reason for putting a stop to this right now, just go away, forget what happened, and I’ll try and do the same, All right, but this operation, let’s call it Operation Oblivion, will only start in twenty-four hours’ time, Why’s that, The name of the reason is Maria da Paz, the same Maria da Paz you got so worked up about just now and whom you seem to want to sweep under the carpet to stop her name from being mentioned again, Look, Maria da Paz has nothing to do with all this, So much so that I would bet anything you like she doesn’t even know of my existence, How can you be sure, Well, I can’t, it’s a supposition, but you’re not denying it, It seemed best, I didn’t want the same thing to happen to her as happened to your wife, Oh, you’re all heart, well, it’s in your hands to prevent that from happening, Sorry, I don’t understand, Let’s stop beating about the bush, shall we, you asked me a question and since then you’ve been going around and around in order not to hear the answer I gave you, Go away, Believe me, I have no intention of staying, Go away now, at once, Fine, I’ll go and present myself to your lady friend in the flesh and tell her what you didn’t tell her either because you lacked the courage or for some other reason known only to you, If I had a gun here, I’d kill you, Maybe you would, but this isn’t the cinema, my friend, in life, things are much simpler, even when it comes to murderers and murder victims, Just say what you’ve got to say, will you, have you spoken to her, tell me, Yes, I have, on the phone, And what did you say, Oh, I invited her to go for a
drive with me today to look at a house in the country that’s for rent, Your house in the country, Exactly, my house in the country, but don’t worry, the person who talked to your friend Maria da Paz wasn’t António Claro but Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, You’re mad, what diabolical plot is this, what do you want, Do you really want me to tell you, Yes, I demand that you do, All right, I intend spending the night with her, that’s all. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso advanced on António Claro, his fists clenched, but he tripped over the coffee table between them and would have fallen if the other man had not caught him at the last moment. He flailed and struggled, but Antonio Claro nimbly immobilized him with an armlock, Get this into your head before you get hurt, he said, you’re no match for me. He pushed him onto the sofa and sat down again. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso eyed him resentfully, at the same time rubbing his sore arm. I didn’t mean to hurt you, said António Claro, but it was the only way to avoid a repetition of that ridiculous old cliché, two men fighting over a woman, Look, Maria da Paz and I are going to be married, Tertuliano Máximo Afonso said, as if this were an argument of irrefutable authority, That doesn’t surprise me, when I spoke to her, I got the impression that you were really serious about each other, in fact, I had to use all my experience as an actor to hit just the right tone, but I can assure you that at no point did she doubt she was talking to you, and I see now why she was so excited about my invitation to go and look at the house, she was already imagining herself living there, Her mother’s been ill and I doubt very much she would leave her on her own, Yes, she mentioned that, but it didn’t take me long to persuade her, after all, a night passes quickly enough. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso fidgeted about on the sofa, furious with himself for apparently having admitted in so many words
that António Claro might actually carry out his intentions. Why are you doing this, he asked, realizing, again too late, that he had just taken another step along the road to resignation, It’s hard to explain really, but I’ll try, replied Antonio Claro, perhaps it’s revenge for the disruption your appearance has caused in my married life and which you can’t even begin to imagine, perhaps it’s the whim of a Don Juan, of a serial philanderer, perhaps, and this is certainly the most likely reason, it’s pure rancor, Rancor, Yes, rancor, you said only minutes ago that if you had a gun, you would kill me, that was your way of saying that there is one too many of us in the world, and I entirely agree, there is one too many of us in the world, and I can’t really stress that enough, the matter would be resolved already if that pistol I took with me to our meeting had been loaded and I had had the courage to fire it, but, of course, we’re decent folk, we’re afraid of prison, and so, since I wasn’t capable of killing you, I’ll kill you another way, by screwing your girlfriend, the sad thing is she’ll never know, she’s going to think all the time that she’s making love with you, all the tender, passionate words she speaks will be addressed to Tertuliano Máximo Afonso and not to Antonio Claro, let that be some consolation to you. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso did not reply, he quickly lowered his eyes so that the other man would not be able to read the thought that had just crossed his brain from side to side. He had suddenly felt as if he were playing a game of chess, waiting for António Claro’s next move. He seemed to have allowed his shoulders to slump, as if vanquished, when the other man said, glancing at his watch, It’s time I was going, I still have to drop by Maria da Paz’s house to collect her, but he straightened up with renewed energy when he heard the man add, Obviously, I can’t go as I am, I need your clothes and your car, if I’m going
to wear your face, I’ll have to wear everything else of yours as well, Sorry, I don’t understand, said Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, adopting an air of perplexity, then, Ah, yes, of course, you can’t risk her thinking it odd that you should be wearing that suit or asking where you got the money to buy a car like that, Exactly, So you want me to lend you my clothes and my car, That’s what I said, And what would you do if I refused, Something very simple, I would pick up the phone and tell Maria da Paz everything, and if you had the unfortunate idea of trying to stop me, you can be quite sure that I could put you to sleep in less time than it takes to say knife, so be careful, we’ve managed to avoid violence so far, but if it becomes necessary, I won’t hesitate, All right, said Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, what clothes will you need, a suit and tie or something similar to what you have on now, summer wear, Something casual, like this. Tertuliano Máximo Afonso left the room, went into his bedroom, opened the wardrobe, opened drawers, and in less than five minutes he was back with everything the other man would need, a shirt, trousers, a sweater, socks and shoes. Get dressed in the bathroom, he said. When Antonio Claro returned, he saw on the coffee table a wristwatch, a wallet, and his identity papers, The documentation for the car is in the glove compartment, said Tertuliano Máximo Afonso, and here are the keys, and the house keys too, just in case I’m not in when you come back to change your clothes, because I assume you will want to change your clothes, Yes, I’ll be back by midmorning, I promised my wife I wouldn’t be home later than midday, replied António Claro, Presumably you’ve given her a good reason for spending the night away from home, Work commitments, it’s not the first time, and António Claro, suddenly confused, was asking himself why the hell he was giving all