Read The Complete Burn for Burn Trilogy: Burn for Burn; Fire With Fire; Ashes to Ashes Online
Authors: Jenny Han
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Emotions & Feelings, #Friendship, #Death & Dying
As soon as I got home from school I locked
up the liquor cabinet and the door to the wine cellar; then I made
a sign with my calligraphy pen that said
Off Limits
and put it on
my parents’ bedroom door. I debated putting up a sign on the
front door that said
Please Take Off Your Shoes
, but then decided
it would be a bit much. If I see people putting their feet up on the
white couches, I will politely ask them not to.
I’m wearing the lacy black corset top that Kat bought for me.
I haven’t had the nerve to wear it up until now, but I think that
as hostess I’m supposed to look extra special. I’m wearing it with
a pleated gray mini and my gold horseshoe pendant. I curled my
hair and teased the crown up so it’s bouncy and big. The last touch
is pale pink lipstick and a dab of perfume.
I see Reeve’s truck pull up and watch him bound up the walkway with four pizza boxes stacked up. I run over to the front door
and fling it open before he can ring the bell.
His jaw drops when he sees me. “Damn, Cho.”
It’s exactly the reaction I was hoping for, but my cheeks still
heat up. “Thanks for picking up the pizzas,” I say as he steps
inside. He hands me the boxes as he slips off his shoes and lines
them up against the wall. He’s wearing white sweat socks with
a gray toe, the same brand as my dad. This makes me smile for
some reason.
I can feel his eyes on me as I walk him to the kitchen. I set the
pizzas down on the counter. “Thanks again,” I say, just to have
something to say.
“No sweat.”
“Did you get the kegs?” I ask.
“Yeah, they’re in the back of my truck.”
“I’ll help you bring them in,” I say.
Reeve lets out a laugh. “They’re too heavy for you and me. I’ll
get PJ to help when he gets here.” Giving me the once-over, he
adds, “Your skirt’s too short for you to help anyway.”
I make a pouty face. “It’s not that short.”
He grins at me. Then he hooks his hands on my hips and pulls
me toward him, nice and easy. He keeps his eyes on me, watching
me carefully, giving me a chance to stop him if I want.
But I don’t. I don’t want. I mean I do. Want.
And then he’s kissing me; his mouth is soft and sure against
mine. He really knows how to kiss.
I don’t remember inviting this many people. And I explicitly said
no underclassmen, so why do I see junior girls from the squad? This
party is so not VIP. And God, being the hostess is probably the least
fun thing ever. I’m constantly running around wiping up spills and
turning down the music. I haven’t even had one sip of alcohol!
Thank God Reeve is here.
He’s standing at the door, barking at people to take off their
shoes. “Morrissey, were you raised in a freaking barn?” he growls.
Reeve winks at me when he sees me watching.
I’m doing a lap around the downstairs when I see her. Rennie. I
can’t even believe it, but there she is, drinking a beer, sprawled out
on my couch with her high-heeled boots on, talking to Ash, who’s
perched on the armrest.
I’m not sure what to do. If I try to kick her out, it’ll be such
drama, which is exactly what she wants. For us to have a fight
in front of all these people. So I do the exact opposite; I grab a
bowl of chips from the kitchen and sail over to the couch with
a sunny smile. “Hey, guys!” I plop down beside them.
Rennie gives me a fake smile where only the corners of her
mouth go up, and Ash leans over and hugs me. “Lil, everything’s
a mess,” she wails.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her.
“Derek told me tonight that he wants to keep it casual; he
doesn’t want to be in a serious thing his senior year.” Ashlin blows
her nose with a cocktail napkin.
“Ugh,” I say. “That’s so Derek.”
“Ash, this is the best thing that could have happened,” Rennie
says, taking a sip of her beer. “Derek isn’t boyfriend material.”
I push the bowl of chips toward Ashlin. She stuffs a handful in
her mouth and says, “But you and Reeve are totally a thing and Lil
and Alex are probably going to get together too. Who does that
leave me with? PJ?” She makes a disgusted face.
I don’t say what I’m thinking, which is,
Um, excuse me, but
Reeve and Rennie are so not a thing because Reeve and I are.
I
wait to see if Rennie will correct Ashlin, but she keeps sipping on
her beer. All she says is, “Aw, PJ is super cute. Don’t worry, Ash.
You’ll find the perfect guy for you like I did.”
I stand up because I can’t listen to this garbage anymore.
“Ash, I’ll be back in a sec. I’m going to go make sure nobody’s
upstairs.”
Rennie rolls her eyes. “Nobody’s going to have fun if
you’re running around all uptight like a prison guard. Hello,
it’s supposed to be a party. You need to chill out.”
I’m about to snap back at her when Reeve comes bursting into
the living room. He scoops Rennie up off the couch and throws
her over his shoulder like she weighs nothing, which she does.
“Put me down, Reeve,” she squeals, kicking her feet.
“No shoes in the house, Ren!” he says, pulling them off her
feet. Then he tosses her back down on the couch, and her cup
of beer tips over and spills everywhere; some splashes on my
arm. “Awesome. Thanks, guys,” I say, sopping up the floor with
napkins.
Reeve bends down and starts helping me. “Sorry, Cho.”
“Chill out, Lil,” Rennie says, her face red from being held
upside down. “It’s beer! Beer gets spilled at a party.”
“Rennie, I swear, if you tell me to chill out one more time . . .”
I say it and I mean it; I’m not joking.
Rennie narrows her eyes at me, and we stare each other down.
Reeve tries to put his arms around both of us, but I shrug away
from him.
Then Alex wanders in with a paper plate in one hand and a beer
in the other.
“Hey!” I say to Alex. “I haven’t seen you all night.”
Alex swallows his bite of pizza. “I’ve been around.” He takes a
swig of beer. “Oh, and I went to pick up the pizzas and they said
somebody already got them.”
I clap my hand to my mouth. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I
totally forgot to text you.”
Alex stuffs the rest of the slice in his mouth. “No worries.”
“I’m so, so sorry, Lindy,” I say, and Rennie rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, sorry, Lind,” Reeve drawls. “I took care of it.”
Alex looks from me to Reeve, who is still standing next to me.
Quickly I say, “They were on his way to get the kegs, so I thought
it would be easier.”
“No worries,” Alex says again, resting his plate on the coffee
table. Then he pulls his wallet from his back pocket, and my stomach twists in a knot. He takes a few twenties from the billfold and
holds them out for Reeve. “Here.”
“What’s this for?” Reeve asks him, his eyes narrowing on the
money.
Alex takes a step closer, still holding out the cash. “I told Lil I
wanted to take care of the pizzas.”
“‘I told Lil I wanted to take care of the pizzas,’” Reeve mimics
back in a whiny-baby voice. “Too late. I already got it.”
Alex’s face goes red. I’m about to tell him to let it go, but before
I can, he tosses the money on the coffee table. “Keep the change.”
Reeve says, “I’m not the delivery boy, you dick.”
Alex laughs dryly. “Who knows . . . in a couple of years, you
might be.”
My hands fly to my face. I can’t even believe Alex said that.
I’ve never seen him talk to Reeve that way before. On the couch,
Rennie rears up like she’s going to tear into Alex.
Reeve’s fist is clenched at his side, and I just know he’s about
two seconds from flattening Alex. I have to do something, fast.
Heart racing, I gather up the bills and hand them back to Alex.
Nicely but firmly I say, “Thanks, Lindy, but Reeve’s got it covered.” Then I let my body fall against Reeve and slide my hand
into his.
It’s a tiny display, subtle and quiet and barely anything. But it
only takes a second before Alex’s jaw goes tight. I turn my head
and look at Rennie, on the couch. Her mouth has dropped so far
open that I can see her molars. My whole body squeezes tight
with nerves, but I don’t move.
They are all seeing this. Us.
Then Reeve glances down at me, shocked. And definitely not
happy. He pulls his hand free from mine and says, “What are you
doing, Cho?” like I’m out of my mind, like we didn’t have that
conversation in his truck, like we’ve never even kissed. Then with
a chuckle and a shake of his head, he steps away from me, picks up
Alex’s paper plate, and disappears into the kitchen. And I’m left
there, standing in front of everyone, with my mouth wide open.
What just happened?
I can’t bear to see the look on Rennie’s face or anybody’s face.
I spin on my heels and quickly head upstairs. What was that talk
about doing what feels right, and people can go to hell if they
don’t like it? I was the one who said we should be discreet!
I go straight to my room and close the door and plop down
in front of my vanity. My hair looks like crap, super flat but not
in the shiny, sleek way. It’s probably because I’ve been running
around for the last two hours cleaning up other people’s messes.
I drag a brush through it roughly, then I put on a fresh coat of
lipstick because most of it has worn off. I can feel the music from
downstairs pumping through the walls, and I just want to lie down
on my bed. I wonder how soon is too soon to kick people out.
I’m sure he did it because he was embarrassed. Because of the
thing Alex said about him becoming a delivery boy. Maybe I handled it wrong. I could have given him space, let him do his bravado
thing, and waited for a better moment.
I guess I felt bad for him.
Sighing, I head back downstairs to check on things. From the
foyer, I hear the roar of a car engine peeling down my driveway. I
peek through the curtains. It’s Alex’s truck.
Great. Just great.
In the sitting room I notice a water ring on the coffee table, and
I try to smudge it out. I go into the kitchen to grab some Pledge,
and that’s when I find Rennie sitting on the floor, her back up
against our oven door. Reeve’s standing over her.
“Reevie . . . I feel wasted.” Her head sways from side to side,
her hair hanging in her face. “Will you please take me home?”
I peer at her. She’s had, like, two beers. I’ve seen her finish a sixpack in under an hour and not get tipsy. “Wow, I didn’t even see
you drink that much,” I say.
Rennie’s eyes suddenly snap into focus on me. “Maybe someone put something in my drink.”
I reel back a step.
Reeve stands up. “Ren, how much did you have?”
“I don’t know . . .” Rennie moans, now back to acting wasted.
“I lost count.” She’s totally putting on a show. She’s only been at
the party for like thirty minutes, and a second ago she was fine.
“I’ll drive myself home. I don’t want to make you leave.”
“There’s no way in hell I’d let you drive like this,” he says,
shaking his head.
He helps her to her feet, and then he hoists her up and Rennie
wraps her arms around his neck. “You’re the bestest, Reevie,” she
sighs, closing her eyes and snuggling closer.
“Go get your coat. I’ll meet you by the front door.”
“Okay. Huuuuurry.” Rennie wobbles off.
When Rennie’s gone, Reeve says to me, “I’m gonna drop her
off.”
I stare hard and fold my arms. “I don’t even know what she’s
doing here in the first place!”
Reeve straightens and says, “She’s here because all of us are, Lil.
All her friends. What’s she supposed to do? Sit at home alone?”
I feel my lip curl. How many times did Rennie make it so I was
doing exactly that! “Can you please not defend her to me?”
“I know she can be a bitch sometimes, but she’s a good girl
at heart.” Reeve runs a hand through his hair, then glances over
toward my front door. “Look, I’ll drop her off and then I’ll come
back.”
I screw my lips together. “Don’t bother. I’m gonna make everybody leave soon anyway.” I flick my hair over my shoulder. “Just
so you know, Alex left.”
Reeve sneers. “Good. Little rich boy punk bitch.”
“Reeve!” I glare at him.
From the front door I hear Rennie call out Reeve’s name.
“Reevie! I’m ready!”
He glances back. “Look, let me take care of this, and then I’ll
come back to help you clean.”
“I can do it myself.”
He sighs, exasperated. “Are you mad at me?”
Coolly I say, “Why would I be mad at you?”
Reeve grabs my hand and says, “I swear I’ll be right back. Give
me twenty minutes.”
I want to tell Reeve not to come back tonight, but I can’t bring
myself to say the words. Because I do want him to. I know I
shouldn’t, but I do. I can’t help it.
I smooth down the pleats of my skirt. “Okay. If you want.”
After looking over both shoulders to see who’s around,
Reeve plants a quick kiss on my forehead. Then he fishes his
keys out of his pocket, asks me to save him a piece of pizza, and
he’s gone.
When everybody else leaves an hour later, I turn down Ash’s
offer to help me clean up. I hustle her out the door, and then I run
upstairs and change into my cute pj’s, a pink cami with a bunny
print and matching shorts. I feel nervous butterflies as I put on
lotion and the tiniest dab of my Lillia perfume at the pulse of my
neck. I put my hair up and then I put it back down.
I’ve never been alone with a boy in my house before. Anything
could happen.
I don’t want it to go too much farther than kissing. Okay, I
kind
of do, but at the same time I don’t. I’m not ready yet. And
anyway, I’m still angry. And I’m going to give Reeve a piece of my
mind for sure. So I figure we’ll stay downstairs on the couch and
that will have to be it.
While I wait, I clean up the living room, throwing away plastic
cups, wiping down the tables, fluffing up the couch pillows. It’s
taking so long for Reeve to come back, I even get out the vacuum
cleaner. Another hour goes by and the kitchen’s clean too; the
house almost looks back to normal. I set out two pieces of pizza
on a nice plate, not a paper one, and I cover it in plastic wrap so I
can heat it up when he gets here.
That’s when I get the text. It says,
Stuck at Rennie’s. Not
gonna make it back tonight.
I read it twice to make sure I’m
getting it right. He’s ditching me. For her.
Rennie and I never had crushes on the same boys. She had a
rotation of boys that she liked, boys who were loud and brash and
you never knew if they were making fun of you or if they were
serious. She liked the ones who made her feel unsure. Because
Rennie was always, always sure.