The Consequences of Forever (1) (13 page)

             
“You too,” I said, though I wasn’t sure I really meant it. I was so full of anxiety in that moment; I didn’t know what to feel.

             
“So I understand there’s a concern you could be pregnant?” He asked, reciting the words as though they weren’t strange at all. As if he weren’t asking that question to the girl that, a year ago, was dating his only son.

             
I nodded. “I’m actually pretty sure that I am.”

             
“You took a home pregnancy test?”

             
“Yes.”

             
“Just one?”

             
“Yes. It came back positive pretty fast so I didn’t think I’d need to take another one.”

             
“When was this?” He picked up a chart from his desk and began making notes.

             
“Halloween.”

I could see a look of surprise cross Nora’s face, quickly replaced by an even angrier one. I guess the fact that I’d known for two weeks before telling her wasn’t going to win me any points.

              “Alright. And when was your last menstrual cycle?”

             
I felt my face turn bright red. “I don’t know.”

             
He looked up at me and smiled, as if I didn’t sound like a total moron for not knowing the answer to a simple question. “Would a calendar help you remember?”

             
“Maybe.”

He took the calendar off his wall and handed it to me. I skimmed through it, finally resting on a date.

              “I think I had it the sixth of September last.”

             
“Was that the day it started, or ended?”

             
“Started, I think.” I remember coming home from school that day and curling up on my bed, miserable with cramps. I never thought I’d miss the nuisance of it all, but suddenly I did, very much.

             
He nodded and made another note before taking the calendar back and placing it on his wall. “That puts you at about ten weeks,” he said.

             
“Ten weeks?” I repeated. “That seems a little long.”

             
“Pregnancy is calculated from the first day of your last menstrual cycle. Conception likely happened about two weeks after that.”

             
“Two weeks?” I asked, feeling my face pale.

             
“Yes. Is something wrong?”

I glanced over at Nora, who stared at me expectantly. Dr. Foster noticed and cleared his throat.

              “Nora, why don’t you go and see if Erin can get you a cup of coffee? Lainey should be finished soon; I’ll send her out after a few more questions.”

             
“No, I’m fine, but thanks, Simon,” Nora smiled.

             
“I really think you should go see if Erin can get you some coffee,” Dr. Foster said again, this time a little more firmly. Nota’s smile disappeared and she nodded, standing up.

             
“Fine. Lainey, I’ll be waiting.”

             
We watched as she left the room, closing the door behind her. “I could tell she was making you uncomfortable,” Dr. Foster said.

             
“I only just told her last night. She’s really angry.”

             
“I can see that,” Dr. Foster smiled. “You can sit in her chair if you’d like. I don’t need to perform any exams. I can get a urine sample before you leave, and do a quick test just to confirm, but that’s up to you. I generally like to leave all of the baby stuff to the doctors that know more about what they’re doing.”

I slid off the table and into the chair that Nora had been sitting in. Dr. Foster sat in his chair behind his desk, and looked at me expectantly.

              “You look surprised when I mentioned two weeks.”

             
“I think I know when, um, conception happened,” I admitted.

Dr. Foster removed the calendar from the wall again and handed it to me. I went back to September and ran my finger from the sixth down two lines. The twentieth. I tapped my finger on it. “That day.”

              “And you’re sure?”

             
“Yeah, it’s the only possible time it could have happened.”

             
“Alright.” He added another note onto his chart. “That puts you at ten weeks and one day. You’re almost at the end of your first trimester already.”

             
“Wow.”

             
He smiled. “It goes fast.”

             
“You don’t look surprised that I’m here.”

             
“I’m not. Scott told his mother and I earlier in the week.”

             
“Oh.” I looked down at my hands.

             
“He told us that you were planning on keeping it, and that Adam said he was going to stick around.”

             
“That’s the plan. At least, that was the plan until this morning.”

             
“What changed?”

             
“Nora told me in no uncertain terms that keeping the baby isn’t an option.”             

             
“What did you father say?” I laughed.
What father
? I wanted to ask, but didn’t. It had to be awkward enough for Dr. Foster, getting this involved in my life, he didn’t need to be included in that part, too.

Dr. Foster looked surprised. “What’s funny?”

              “I haven’t seen my father since last night. He was nowhere around before we left, and something tells me he won’t be around when I get back. He has a habit of disappearing when things get rocky.”

             
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He looked genuinely sympathetic.

             
“I’m used to it. Are we done here?”

             
He nodded. “Mostly. I want to give you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. I’d recommend getting it filled today and start taking them immediately. Are you having any problems with morning sickness?”             

             
I nodded. “Off and on. I don’t think it’s so bad, though. I don’t always throw up, just feel nauseas a lot.”

             
“That’s good. The nausea should start going away in a few weeks’ time, it doesn’t often stay long in the second trimester. Have you considered a doctor yet?”

             
“Not at all.”

             
“Well that’s something I would definitely recommend looking into. I can’t do much else for you than what I’m doing today, and you really should get a checkup as soon as possible.”

             
He scribbled something onto a sheet of paper and handed it to me. “I wish you luck, Lainey.”

             
I smiled. “Thanks. I think I might need it.”

             
I decided to do another test, just to be sure, and it came back positive. I almost felt disappointed, like there was a possibility that the test I’d taken myself could be wrong, that all my symptoms were the result of me overthinking everything. I realized how ridiculous that sounded, but I needed to hold onto some sort of hope.

             
The drive back to Bella Vista was as silent as the drive to Dr. Foster’s, but this time I was relieved. I knew what Nora was going to say, what she was going to want me to do, and I also knew that wasn’t possible. Maybe at first I thought I was doing this for Adam, but now I knew better. I was doing this for me, too, even if that made no sense whatsoever.

September 20

              “You can’t drive, Adam. You’re drunk.”

I grabbed the keys out of his pocket before he could respond. He attempted to stop me, but his reflexes were slow, and I was in and out of his pocket before he’d even grabbed at it.

              He grinned at me, the white of his teeth almost the only part of him I could see in the dark. “Okay, then you drive.”

             
“I don’t know how,” I reminded him, quickly losing whatever patience I might have started out the night with.

             
“I’ll teach you.” He reached for his keys back, but I moved them away from him, and he nearly fell over.

             
“Give me your phone. I need to call your mom.”

             
His eyes widened. “No way. She’ll kill me.”

             
“Well you should have thought about that before you decided to drink half a keg.” I replied, reaching for the pocket he kept his phone in. He moved backwards, almost falling over again.

             
“Not fair,” he protested. “It’s my birthday.”

             
“I know. I think you told me a few times.” I reached for his phone again, but this time he was faster, whipping it from his pocket and throwing it. I watched as it flew through the air, finally landing somewhere in the distance.

             
“Way to go, Adam,” I said, shaking my head at him. “Awesome.” I turned away, headed in the direction of the flying phone.

             
“Where are you going?” He asked, hurrying after me. I ignored him. It was already dangerously close to my curfew, and I had no way of getting home. A nice dinner out, just the two of us, had somehow turned into a last minute party at Nolan’s. I hadn’t been that worried at first because Adam seemed to have a thing about not wanting to drink in front of me, but that rule didn’t count on his birthday, apparently. I’d told myself not to get mad at him for it, but it was getting harder and harder not to.

             
The month of September had been stressful for us so far, getting used to being back to school, and not seeing each other nearly as much as we used to. Nora hadn’t wasted any time enforcing a new rule that forbid me from seeing Adam after school on weekdays, even though there hadn’t been a rule even slightly resembling that when I was with Scott.

             
Needless to say, I’d had more than enough doubts about us in the past month, and tonight wasn’t helping to make me feel better about it.

             
“Lainey!” He called, but I ignored him, scouring the sand for any sign of his phone. It was dark and the moon was just a small sliver in the sky, not the same bright, white light that had appeared the first night we kissed. That night felt so far away now, almost like it had happened to someone else. 

             
I found it about ten feet from where he’d thrown it, laying face up in the sand as though it weren’t out of place at all. Adam caught up with me just as I pocketed it.

             
“Okay, cool. Let me see it.”

             
“No.” I turned away from him, heading back in the direction of the car.

             
“Come on, Lainey. I’ll call my mom, I promise.”

             
“No, you’ll throw it again and next time I won’t be able to find it.”
Next time I won’t try
, I thought to myself. Nolan’s house was about a twenty minute walk from my house, and I’d be late for curfew, but at least I wouldn’t be hanging out on the beach, arguing with my drunken boyfriend.

             
I’d have Hannah to contend with, but her anger at me for not including her in this last minute birthday celebration probably wouldn’t last long. And at least it would give me ammunition for the next time she begged me to get her and Nolan hooked up. If Adam were capable of getting me stranded at his house on a Friday night, there was no telling what Nolan could be capable of.

             
I was about three feet from the car when he tackled me. I fell face first into the sand, feeling the weight of his body crushing me. I felt his hands frisk my pockets, and then remove both his phone and mine, as well as the keys. He chuckled before he rolled off of me.

             
“I win,” he announced, sounding proud of himself.

             
I pulled myself up to a sitting position and glared down at him. “I’m going home.”

             
“How? I have the keys.” He dangled them at me, as if proving a point. I snatched them out of his hand. He laughed.

             
“You can’t drive, remember?”

             
“Nope, but I can walk.” I stood up, brushing the sand off of me. I wasn’t in the mood for this. I’d actually been looking forward to this night for a while, spending his birthday with him, giving him the present I’d spent two weeks trying to find, and it had been ruined.

             
I started walking towards the road, and I heard Adam get up and stumble after me. “Lainey, you can’t walk home!” He protested, but I ignored him.

             
He caught up with me and grabbed my shoulder, but I yanked myself away from him. “Sleep here tonight,” I said.

             
“Lainey, it’s not safe walking home in the dark. Come here.” He sounded somewhat more sober, but not enough to make me happy.

             
I laughed out loud and turned to face him. “It’s not safe being with you right now.”

             
His face fell, making me feel somewhat guilty. “You’re always safe with me,” he argued.

             
“Really? You were all set to drive me home when you can barely walk straight. I don’t think that’s safe.”

             
“Okay, I almost made a mistake, but you stopped me. That’s why we’re so good together, right?” He moved closer to me, but I stepped back, keeping distance between us.

             
Something inside of me clicked. “No, that doesn’t make us good together. That actually makes us pretty horrible together.” I headed towards the street, where there was more light, my every intention to not stop until I got home.

             
“You don’t mean that,” he said, but I did. Flashes of my childhood passed through my mind, taking care of my dad on those occasions when he couldn’t take care of himself. Taking care of myself when he was out doing whatever he felt he needed to do at the time. The relief when he married Nora, when I didn’t have to be responsible for him anymore. I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone but myself.

             
“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll have Nolan drive you home. Just please stop walking away,” he pleaded.

             
I stopped. I wasn’t afraid to walk home alone as much as I was afraid to deal with Nora when I showed up late and alone. I turned around. “He was drinking, too,” I reminded him.

             
Adam caught up to me and shook his head. “No, not as much as I did. He’s fine.” He reached up and brushed hair from my face. “I’m sorry I tackled you.”

             
“Okay.”

             
“Don’t be mad at me.”

             
“You promised me we were going to celebrate your birthday together, alone,” I reminded him. “Tomorrow you’re going out to dinner with your parents, so tonight was supposed to be about us.”             

“You can come with us tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll make it up to you.”

              “No.” I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed me in his arms, holding me against him while he reached into my pocket and pulled out the keys.

             
“I win,” he whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin in a way I normally found intoxicating. I clenched my teeth and tried to walk away, back towards the house and hopefully a person that could get me home before curfew, but Adam wouldn’t let go of me. Instead, he scooped me up like I weighed nothing and hoisted me over his shoulder, as though I were the one having difficulty walking.

             
He was wobbly at first, and I became terrified that he would drop me, but after a few steps he straightened out, and led me back to his car. “Adam, what the hell are you doing?” I demanded. He didn’t answer.

             
He opened the backseat car door, lowered me enough so that I would fit inside, and climbed in after me. I pulled myself back as far from him as I could, leaning against the door on the other side and tried to open it, but it was locked. Adam closed the door behind him and tossed the keys into the front seat. He turned to me.

             
“You’re not leaving until you stop being mad at me.”

             
“You’re being ridiculous,” I retorted.

             
“I know, but I don’t want you mad at me.”

             
“I’m going to be late for curfew.”

             
“Tell me you’re not mad at me.”

             
“I’m not mad at you,” I said through clenched teeth. I tried to open the door again, but it wouldn’t budge.

             
He smiled serenely at me and rested his head against the seat. “Child safety locks,” he said. I gave up and closed my eyes. I was going to be late, and that was that. Nora was going to explode, and I’d probably never be allowed within twenty feet of Adam again. At least I could rest assured knowing it was his own fault, and not have to feel guilt over it for the rest of my life.

             
Adam scooted closer to me and tried to put his arm around me, but I resisted. He could lock me in his car all he wanted, but that didn’t mean I was going to make it pleasant for him.

             
He sighed. “What did I do that is so horrible?”             

             
“You really have to ask that?”

             
“I celebrated my birthday, Lainey. I didn’t realize that was a crime.”

             
“You got drunk when you knew you were supposed to take me home before ten.”

             
“I didn’t mean to.”

             
“Whatever.”

             
He groaned. “God, you’re impossible.”

             
“Okay.” I moved away from him, but he only moved closer.

             
“You’re impossible, but I still love you.”

I turned away and looked out the window, not answering him. The party was still going on inside Nolan’s house, and for a second I felt a flash of the guilt I was trying so hard to avoid. Maybe I was the one in the wrong here. This was what Adam used to do all the time before he met me.

              “I really need to get home,” I said softly, still not looking at him.

             
“I don’t want you to go home mad at me. Never go to sleep mad at someone because you never know what’s going to happen.”

             
“Adam, quit being dramatic,” I said,  becoming exasperated. “I’m not mad at you. I just want to go home.”

             
“Kiss me.”

             
“Seriously?”

             
“Yeah, kiss me and I’ll let you go home.”

I rolled my eyes and turned to him. His breath smelled of beer, and made me feel nauseas, but I tried to ignore it the best I could.

              His lips brushed against mine, softly at first, and then harder. I felt myself beginning to get lost in him, the way I always did. The fact that he’d gotten drunk on his birthday suddenly didn’t seem like such a big deal, and all thoughts of Nora and curfew and punishment flew out the window.

             
We kissed until we were out of breath, and then resumed. His lips left mine and trailed down to my neck and then my throat, his hands exploring underneath my shirt. I ran my hands through his hair, remembering how much he liked that.

              “I want you,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s been too long.”

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last time we had been this close to each other. Before school started. Before all the new rules started. It had been a long time, but everything I’d ever learned about sex was that the backseat of a car probably wasn’t the best place for it.

              “We can’t,” I told him.

             
“Why not?” He lifted my hair off my shoulders, giving him better access to my neck. I felt chills run down my spine.

             
“Because,” I replied. It was the best answer I could come up with. I could feel all the anger I’d had slowly fading away.

             
I let him guide me into a laying position, or at least the closest we could get to laying down in the cramped backseat of his car. He pulled his leather jacket off and balled it up, placing it under my head as a pillow. I felt myself laugh at the situation, but no longer felt any desire to stop it.