The Cost Of Love And Sanity (3 page)

Alex and Izzy made it to the stairs to go up to the second floor. The stairs were the clearest thing in the building. They quickly made their way up the stairs and found a high table with a couple of chairs. Alex plopped down in a seat. Izzy sat across from her still engrossed in her drink.

A scantily clad waitress with long brown hair and exposed cleavage approached their table.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

Alex turned to her to respond but Izzy spoke first. “She'll have a cosmopolitan and I'll have an Apple Martini,” Izzy said.

The waitress wrote down the order. Alex interrupted her. “Do you have any Daiquiris?” Alex asked.

“Sure,” the waitress said.

“Which kind?” Alex asked.

“Whatever you want. Banana. Mango. Lime. Strawberry.”

“I'll have a Mango Daiquiri,” Alex said.

The waitress nodded and wrote the order down. “All right. I'll be back in a sec.”

After she left, Izzy leaned toward her. “You had to go the safe route, didn't you?”

“You want me to get tore down. That's all.”

Izzy chuckled.

Right then, the DJ started playing a familiar, popular tune. The people on the dance floor and on the second floor jumped up, Izzy included. “Oooh. I have to go downstairs. I'll be right back. Get my drink for me,” she called over her shoulder.

Alex looked over the rail at the frenzied crowd. It was amazing what one song could do. She glimpsed movement out of the left
corner of her eye. She turned her head and saw a couple wedged in the small space. At first glance, they seemed to be possibly moving to the music but, upon further gaze, it was apparent that the music had nothing to do with their movements; they were having sex in the club.

She rolled her eyes.
Ridiculous.
Her waitress returned with a smile and the drinks.

“Here you go. Mango Daiquiri for you and Apple Martini for your friend. Is there anything else I can get for you?” the waitress asked.

“No. Thank you.”

Alex sipped on her Daiquiri, savoring the fruity taste. She'd forgotten about the couple in the corner and started to relax enough to take in the scenery. If she were in to the club scene, perhaps this would be a decent club. They sure put a lot of energy into the New Year's theme. Even the glittered ball on the ceiling said 2012 on it. Alex peered through the crowd on the dance floor, searching for Izzy. She thought she might be able to signal that her drink was there. No such luck. The mass of people on the dance floor had buried Izzy. What did Alex expect? Izzy was only about five-foot-two.

“Excuse me.”

Alex turned in the direction of the voice to see a husky man in a business suit. He smiled at her, revealing one silver tooth on the right side of his mouth.

“I couldn't help but notice you sitting here alone but with two drinks. Are you here with someone?” he asked.

“Yes.” Alex actually hoped she didn't have to clarify who she was there with. She hadn't come to the club to meet anyone. She was passing time; that's all.

“A boyfriend?”

“A friend,” Alex said.

“Well, he can't be too good of a ‘friend' if he left a woman as exquisite as you alone at a table. If I were with you, I wouldn't leave your side,” he said.

Alex nodded. She was trying to be polite but she really had no interest in talking to him.

The man placed his hand on his chest. “I apologize. I failed to introduce myself. My name is Lenard. And your name is…?”

“Alexis.”

“That's a beautiful name.” He smiled.

This is so corny.
“Thank you.”

He started to sit down in Izzy's chair but Alex stretched out her hand.

“Please don't sit there. My friend will be back any minute,” Alex said.

He eased back up from the chair. “Oh, of course. I don't want to take up your time or get in the way. Here.” Lenard reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a business card. “Let me leave my card with you. It has my office and my cell number on it.” He handed it to her.

She took it, fully intending to throw it in the nearest trash as soon as possible. “Okay.”

“It was good to meet you.” He leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Call me.”

At that moment, Alex frowned up. Lenard's breath smelled like a dirty toilet.
I told Izzy this would happen.
She quickly looked the other way, trying to find relief for her nose. Anything would have smelled better than the air coming from his mouth. She blocked her nose with the back of her hand.

“Same here. Bye,” she said.

Lenard walked away. Alex breathed a sigh a relief. She couldn't have pretended that she wasn't affected by his breath much longer. She wiped her nose with her hand, trying to rid herself of the smell. It wasn't working.

Izzy returned to the table in the midst of Alex clawing at her nose. “What's wrong with you?” Izzy asked.

“Your friend needs to wash his mouth out with bleach,” Alex said, still rubbing her nose.

“Who?”

“This man who approached me.”

“What? Did he talk dirty to you or something?”

“No. His breath smelled like boo boo!” Alex raised her voice over the music.

Izzy cracked up laughing and Alex followed suit.

“Whoo! That's awful to hear,” Izzy said.

“It's even worse to smell. I didn't know whether to offer him a mint or some toilet paper,” Alex said.

Izzy doubled over with laughter. In the distance, Alex heard the DJ playing the same song he had played earlier—the one that got everyone hype, including Izzy.

Alex frowned again. “Um. I'm ready to go. You're not ready to leave yet?”

Izzy chugged her drink. “Not quite. Why don't you get up and dance or talk to somebody cute?”

“I'm afraid Mr. Stanky Breath has ruined that for me.”

“Girl, everybody in here doesn't have breath like that.”

It didn't matter to Alex. She'd seen and experienced enough. She'd never been a club person and this experience hadn't converted her. The club was for people who only wanted to have a “good”
time or a good laugh. Nothing else. You didn't go there to find a mate. You went there to party it up. Alex was in a stage of her life where she had more serious thoughts than what type of alcoholic beverage she wanted. She had no patience for games. She enjoyed hanging out with her friend but Alex had to find a way to get out of there.

“I hope not but I could really get out of here soon. When
will
you be ready to go?”

Izzy sighed. “I don't know. Why don't you try to relax and meet someone new?” she whined.

“There's no one to meet here.”

“Look at all these men around here. Surely, there's someone worth talking to.” Izzy took a sip of her Apple Martini. “It's New Year's. I didn't say you had to marry him. Talk to him.”

Perhaps this little trip to the club was premature. It had barely been 48 hours since she broke up with Phillip. She wasn't ready to get out there and actively look for someone else, particularly in this environment.
This is what I get for trying to be a trooper.

“Izzy, I appreciate what you're saying and I know you're trying to help but this isn't for me right now.”

Izzy looked at her sympathetically. “You're right. This place is more for me than you. I'll tell you what. Let's have another drink and then, we'll leave. We can go get something to eat.”

Alex smiled. “Okay.”

About thirty minutes later, the two women left the club and went to a breakfast spot. Alex didn't walk into her house until 3:46 a.m. Even though the club was long behind her, she continued to wipe her nose, trying to rid herself of the stench from the stanky breath guy.

She trudged up the stairs and headed for the shower. As she ran
the lavender-scented shower gel and water over her medium brown skin, the toilet breath odor disappeared. The events of the last few days, however, rushed to her mind as quickly as the water beat down on her body. The more she thought, the more Phillip leaving seemed best for her. He was a jerk. Therefore, she had no chance at happiness with him.

If she could stop herself from feeling lousy about their argument, she would be okay. She had to deal with the fact that she didn't have anybody now and she didn't know when she would find somebody else. Desperation crept up on her while she thought about her current prospect of having a family. If she kept losing relationships, she would have to have a child on her own. She sighed. She could do that but she really wanted a full family, complete with a husband.

Noticing that her hot water had turned ice cold, Alex switched the shower off and stepped onto her plush white rug. She changed into her T-shirt and pajama pants and walked into her room. She turned her comforter back, bent her knees to the floor and clasped her hands together.

“God, please keep me, my family and friends safe from harm. I also ask that you keep me focused and uplifted. I pray that you empower me to make the most of my life this year so that I might be a blessing to others. But God, there is one more pressing thing on my heart that I must address. A favor to ask.” Alex took a deep breath and released it slowly.

“I know that you have a man out there—somewhere out there—for me. I have no doubt about that but if Phillip isn't it, could you show me who is? I mean, can I at least get a hint? I hope I'm not asking for too much. It's just that this searching thing is getting old. Kinda like me.”

Tears welled in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She felt silly asking for such a thing but the Bible said, “Ask and ye shall receive.” She opened her eyes aware and somewhat ashamed of her own request. She unclasped her hands and stood up. Dashing to the bedroom door, she flipped the lights.

Once Alex crawled under the covers, she took momentary comfort in the cool, clean fabric. She lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling as if she expected the answer to her probing question to magically appear between the creases. It didn't. If anything, more questions followed with each passing minute. Squeezing her eyes closed, she turned on her right side. There was no use losing sleep over this.

A
lex's night fell short of restfulness but she managed to get up in time to watch the football game. Or at least she tried to watch the game. By the time third quarter hit, she'd stretched across her chocolate brown leather couch, nodding in and out. She finally gave in, rolling into a ball and closing her eyes. They remained closed until the teams were walking off the field. The final score appeared at the bottom of the screen. 24-14. Sorry she missed the last two quarters, Alex smiled when she saw that her team won.

She glanced up at the clock. Alex needed to go to the store, get some gas for her car and then come home to cook dinner. She really wanted to stumble into her room and fall out over her bed but that would not be productive.

So, Alex propped herself up off the couch and staggered to her bathroom. As she washed her face, brushed her teeth and fixed her hair, she psyched herself up for the errands. Once she finished, Alex slid on her shoes and jogged back downstairs—picking up the pace before she could change her mind about stepping outside.

She pulled into the gas station three blocks away.
Geesh, could they have made this parking lot any smaller?
The station had always been small but it seemed smaller now that the cramped space crawled with cars. Alex eased into the station, hunting for an open pump. To her surprise, she didn't have to search far; the second
one stood vacant. She backed into the pump and hopped out of the car to slide her debit card in the machine. As she pumped her gas and music played in the background, her mind drifted to her prayer and her plans for the new year.

She didn't know if she would ever get an answer to her prayer but she had come to one important conclusion: a new year required a new direction. Her life needed change. She had to go after what she really wanted, instead of settling for the readily available. From now on, she would concentrate on moving her life forward. No looking back.

The gas pump clicked. Startled from the noise, Alex pulled the tube from her car and placed it back in the hook. She screwed the cap back into her gas gauge, yawning. She shook the sleep away and jumped back into her car. While she vigorously rubbed her hands together with hand sanitizer, she could see someone in her rearview mirror tapping their fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for her to pull away from the pump. She hurriedly cranked up the car.

Alex crept out of her spot and soon regretted it. A diesel truck had blocked the entrance of the station. Cars had piled into the pumps. She strained her neck to see the far end and noticed one lone pump vacant, providing barely enough space for her to exit. Alex pushed her foot on the gas pedal and wormed her way toward the carless space between pumps. But after she drove a mere few feet, a gray Acura pulled through her only escape route.

“Argh! I can't believe this,” Alex screamed.

She scanned the other pumps and saw that cars were still beside each one. She turned behind her and saw that the truck blocking the entrance seemed to have no plans of moving.

Alex faced forward again and sighed. Her eyes wandered over to the Acura and, for the first time, she saw the driver blocking her exit. It was Nathan Chestnut, the man she had dated ten years
ago. She winced and ducked her head down.
Aww, man. Not today.
She anticipated awkwardness between them. A lot of time had passed since she had last seen him and their breakup had left some issues unresolved. How would they treat each other now? She didn't know and she feared finding out. Yet, part of her wanted another glimpse of him. She peeked over the edge of the window and focused on his neat appearance. He hadn't changed much. He still possessed the same slender frame she remembered—almost like time had stood still for him. Not wanting to stare too long, she quickly darted her eyes downward, hoping he hadn't spotted her.