The Courage to Love Her Army Doc (13 page)

Now, going against everything he'd worked so hard to avoid, he was making decisions that could affect so many people. It was going to be up to him to get Emily back to Yasi in one piece, without upsetting anyone and making sure it was done in a timely fashion to prevent any further medical emergencies. He took a deep breath and girded himself for the challenge.

‘We'll make sure we're back before sunset.'

He could already feel Emily's gaze burning into the back of his head so he did what any man would do and pretended not to notice. She was polite enough to wait until company was out of earshot before saying anything.

‘I hope you know how to get us home. I'm putting all my faith in you,' she said, without taking her eyes off the dinghy sailing away, now full to capacity.

Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. That's what he was afraid of. It was one thing puttering out here on his own but quite another when he was responsible for Emily too. One could never plan for any unexpected catastrophes but that didn't mean you weren't left carrying the resulting guilt for the rest of your life. He was becoming too emotionally attached to these people being continually left in his charge and soon he was going to have to think about moving on.

If things weren't so complicated he would've used this time to his advantage to seduce Emily. The setting, if not the current mood, was the ideal place for them to finally consummate this attraction. Unfortunately, sex wasn't the only thing on his mind. It was having to wrestle with the dangers of the open water and the potential consequences of their absence on Yasi for prominence. For now they'd simply have to wait this out until an acceptable amount of time had passed to pacify their friends.

‘Don't worry, I've done this before.' Although it was usually out of a necessity to have some space to himself rather than with enforced company.

‘Oh. You mean you and the chief have some sort of understanding where he'll help you kidnap unsuspecting female tourists so you can hold them hostage here until you get your wicked way with them?' Emily folded her arms across her chest as she mocked him, stretching the light fabric of her dress taut across her bust and really not helping to take Joe's mind off the idea of seduction.

‘Yeah. You got a problem with that?' They exchanged cheesy grins as their sense of humour thankfully took over from that initial urge to panic.

Emily laughed and shook her head. ‘Nope. Except maybe next time you could give me some warning.'

‘You're right. The timing was a little off on this one. In future I'll make sure we're better organised.' His mind flitted towards a day here together with no worries dragging them back to civilisation. They certainly wouldn't be standing here, fully dressed, counting the minutes until they could leave.

The sound of the waves lapping at their feet punctuated the sudden silence between them as what-might-have-beens stole away any further chat. It would be selfish of them to act on impulse now and get lost in each other. One taste of paradise and he knew he'd never want to leave.

With one quick movement he stripped off his shirt and his shorts to wade out into the water in nothing but his boxers. He needed to cool off.

‘What are you doing?'

‘Going for a swim. Come on in. The water's lovely.' He lay on his back, making small circles with his hands in the sea to keep him afloat, tempted to let the gentle current carry him away.

Emily dipped a toe in the water and stepped back again. ‘Are there sharks in there?'

‘I haven't seen any but they're not likely to come this close to the shore anyway.' He flicked his fingers, soaking her with spray.

She walked forward until the sea was swirling around her feet and lifting the hem of her dress. Joe held his breath as she revealed every sensual curve of her figure. It barely mattered she was wearing a pretty pink bikini beneath, she may as well have been naked the way his body was responding. She tossed the dress onto the sand and slowly waded out towards him.

Joe spluttered as water covered his face and filled his nostrils. He gulped a mouthful as he struggled to stand upright. He'd been so engrossed in the sight of her stripping off he'd forgotten he needed to work to stay afloat.

‘You okay?'

He could hear the flicker of amusement in her voice even though he couldn't see her clearly as he scrubbed the water from his eyes. ‘Sure. I think I just forgot to breathe there for a second.'

‘How come?' Emily was a little breathy, treading water deeper out into the sea.

Joe swam out to meet her, gravitating towards her like she was his life raft in raging stormy seas. They faced each other, only their heads bobbing on the surface of the water, and he knew he couldn't lie. Either to her or himself.

‘Because you're so beautiful.'

Emily immediately cast her eyes down, reluctant to accept the truth of his compliment. If she wasn't going to listen to him then he was simply going to have to show her. He waded closer and captured her mouth with his, the salty and sweet taste of her lips a feast for his senses.

She wound her arms around his neck and he was happy to anchor her legs around his waist and take her weight. In fact, with her body pressed tightly to his, if they sank to the bottom of the sea and drowned he'd die happy. Denying themselves any longer when everyone already assumed they were together seemed futile, and by giving in to his urges he was finally able to breathe again. It seemed as though he'd been holding his breath since last night, waiting for permission to exhale, and Emily had granted him that the second she'd kissed him back.

There was a flash of light and it took a while for him to figure out it was coming from above and wasn't fireworks going off in his head. He opened his eyes to see clouds rolling in, the sky now a palette of murky greys and purples. A rumble sounded in the distance, just after a charge of electricity that seemed to reach up to the heavens.

‘We need to get back to the beach and find shelter.'

‘Hmm?' Emily was still nuzzling into him, oblivious to the danger around them, which was either a sign of how far she'd come or how great a kisser he was to make her overcome her natural worry state.

‘There's. A. Storm. Coming.' It was difficult to get the sentence out when she insisted on kissing him between words and scrambling his brain. In the end he simply carried her ashore, still clinging to him like a limpet on the rocks. Not that he was complaining. It simply made it harder for him to care what was going on out there too.

He laid her down on the sand but she refused to release her hold, bringing him down with her. Making love to Emily here, with the waves drifting in and out between their naked bodies, was the stuff of fantasies but tropical storms came in hard and fast. That wasn't how he wanted their first sexual encounter to go just because they were in a race against the elements.

Another roar of thunder reverberated around them then the rain came down in sheets and poured cold water on their ardour. Emily shrieked and jumped to her feet.

‘I did try to tell you,' he said, rolling onto his back to let the rain cool his fevered skin.

‘What will we do?' Emily was already back in panic mode, grabbing up her clothes and looking to him for answers.

Joe donned his shorts and T-shirt with more urgency as the gap between the flashes of light and crashes of thunder became ever smaller. The storm was coming closer...the rain was reaching saturation point. If they didn't get struck by lightning first, their cold, wet clothes sticking to their bodies might lead to pneumonia. They needed to get somewhere that would shelter them from the elements and keep them safe and dry.

‘I know somewhere.' He grabbed her hand and made a dash for higher ground. There was a recess cut into the rocks that he knew from experience would provide everything they needed until this storm passed. His secret until now.

They clambered up the boulders in the rain and Joe kept hold of Emily's hand until they made it to the rocky hidey-hole in case she slipped in her no-longer-practical sandals. It was dark inside but at least it was dry.

Emily was watching the storm from the entrance, her shoulders shaking from the cold.

‘I'll start a fire to get us warmed up.' He wasn't as eager to have a ringside seat for the fireworks. Loud noises and bright lights weren't as attractive to him as they once might have been.

‘How do you propose to do that?' Apparently man creating fire was more interesting than nature's fury as she turned her attention back to him.

‘I could sit here half the night trying to get a spark from rubbing a couple of pieces of wood together, or we could just use these.' He was almost sorry to disappoint her with the kindling and box of matches he'd left after his last visit here instead of showing off his caveman skills. Modern fire-making methods were quicker but they weren't as manly as starting one from little more than sticks and friction.

‘Wait, is this your
actual
man cave?' She said it as though it was something he should be ashamed of but this place had been his salvation at times, not merely some whimsical notion of reliving his youth.

‘Sometimes a guy needs a little time out.' He shrugged it off. It was difficult to explain his need for time out now and again, away from even the small population of Yasi.

This retreat enabled him to maintain a physical and emotional distance when he was in danger of getting too close to the people he was working alongside. By bringing Emily here with him, he'd totally screwed with that idea. Now there was nothing keeping his heart out of matters. He was past the point of no return and the damage was done. There was no way he was going to walk away from this without collecting a new battle scar.

He hadn't even told Peter, his oldest friend, about this place. Peter, who, up until a few days ago, had been the closest person in his life, the only one keeping him out here. Somehow Emily had crept in and hijacked his affection. Why else would he be holed up here with her instead of doing his job back on Yasi?

He got to work setting the fire and Emily came to kneel beside him. ‘You know, if this trip has taught me anything it's that it's more fun being around people than sitting moping on your own.'

‘I spend plenty of time in company, have made acquaintances all around the world. I'm simply happier in my own company.' That wasn't necessarily true.
Safer
was the word he'd been searching for but he didn't want to get into that with Emily and have to explain why he didn't get involved with people. That meant sharing the most painful part of his life with her and publicly owning the part he'd played in the deaths of his friends. Something he'd never done with anyone.

‘Would you prefer it if I left you alone?' Emily made a half-hearted attempt to leave but they both knew she wasn't going anywhere. Neither of them were until this storm had passed and it was safe for them to take the boat out again. Matters outside this cave were completely beyond their control.

‘No.' He stood up to block her exit. ‘I want you here with me.'

He meant it in every sense. He wanted her company, to share this space, and most of all to help him forget everything going on in the outside world. This was their time together when they were free to relax and be themselves, without any outside influence bursting their bubble.

Emily shivered as he reached for her.

‘You know, it's going to take a while for this place to heat up. We should really get out of these wet clothes.'

He slipped one strap of Emily's dress over her shoulder, then the other, and watched the garment pool at her feet. She stood proudly before him, making no move to cover the rest of her body from view. In fact, she was already reaching up to undo her bikini top.

‘I've heard the best way to fight hypothermia is to share body heat.'

‘I've heard that theory.' He peeled off his T-shirt, eager to put it to the test.

Emily slowly and silently removed the last of her clothes and time stood still for Joe. She was a goddess with a body worthy of being immortalised in marble to epitomise the beauty of woman. Her soft curves and perfect proportions deserved love sonnets written in her honour but he wasn't a sculptor or a poet. All he had to offer her was himself. So he unwrapped her gift as quickly as he could.

There was something very primitive about standing in a cave with a naked woman and his body responded accordingly. Thankfully his brain was still capable of making some of his decisions. If this was to be the only private time they were to have together, he wanted it to be truly memorable for both of them. They needed more than a frantic coupling on a cold floor.

He reached out to brush her wet hair from her shoulders and felt her tremble beneath his fingers.

‘Are you still cold?' The blood pounding through his body had warmed him from the inside out so he'd assumed the same was true for her. He was relieved when she shook her head or else he really would have to start trying to get heat back into her body.

‘Nervous.'

Her answer was full of her characteristic honesty. It didn't take a genius to work out he was probably the first man she'd done this with since her husband. Joe ignored all the warning signs flashing in his head about what that meant and accepted it as his privilege, not his downfall.

‘There's no need. I won't do anything to hurt you.' All he wanted to do was please her, love her, make her feel as special as she deserved. He was going to be the one hurting when this fantasy ended. Emily would go home and probably find a new love, whereas he knew he'd never be this open again. She'd stolen a piece of his heart he'd never intended to give to anyone and would never, ever get it back.

It was his turn to tremble at the enormity of the revelation. They didn't have a future together when she couldn't rely on him to keep her safe when she needed him most. He would only let her down and he couldn't bear to disappoint her or, worse, face the agony of losing her because of his actions. He was in love with Emily but he couldn't tell her, couldn't do anything about it other than show her.