The Courage to Love Her Army Doc (11 page)

Joe took another temperature reading and shook his head. ‘There might be one thing we can try...'

As Emily took a peek at the thermometer she knew they needed to try something more than they were already doing. ‘What is it?'

Joe exhaled a hard breath and it was a few heartbeats before he spoke as if he was debating whether or not his idea was even worth sharing. ‘I mean, it's not scientifically proven or anything but when I was in India I saw them use the juice from papaya leaves to treat dengue.'

‘Papaya leaves?' Although it wouldn't do any harm to try, Emily wasn't convinced that would really make much difference to his condition.

‘I know it sounds ridiculous but I did do some follow up research into the properties of papaya leaves after seeing them used. Apparently they are packed with enzymes that are supposed to help clot the blood and normalise platelet count. It's worth a shot, right?' He was the only one offering a blink of hope, no matter how far away it appeared from the current reality of the situation.

‘Definitely, but where do we get them and what do we do with them?' It was at times like this she missed the luxury of twenty-four-hour supermarkets and smoothie bars. She was too used to the convenience of modern life, and making simple requests like this without them seem impossible.

‘I'm sure someone will know where to find them, then all we have to do is crush them.' Joe made it sound so simple when it scared Emily to put her faith in anything other than conventional medicine. That was probably the beauty of them working together and combining their so very different experiences.

‘I know where we can find some. I'll go. I'm sure you can manage without me.' Peter gave a wry smile as he left on his mission. He clearly wasn't about to let go of her embarrassment any time soon but a nod and a wink was better than a frowny face and a half-battered Joe.

The patient gave a soft snore, oblivious to events unfolding all around him. They'd let him sleep through the pain until Joe concocted his marvellous medicine. In the meantime, Emily took the small battery-operated fan she kept in her bag and set it by the bed. Every little bit helped.

‘Are things okay with you two, then?' She figured it was safe to ask now the initial awkwardness appeared to have passed.

‘Yeah. We're good. You?'

She nodded. They'd known their actions would complicate all manner of things and yet that hadn't mattered at the time. It shouldn't matter now either since they'd addressed Peter's concerns. ‘I can't say he's ecstatic about it but he knows where we're coming from. I think he's dodging Cupid's arrows himself at the minute.'

‘I would say that little sucker struck his target long ago.' Joe's laugh reached across the bed to her and all the way down to curl her toes. She was already missing that carefree couple of hours they'd had. Who knew when they'd get to spend time together again? Or if it would ever be quite the same now they'd always be on their guard?

‘Well, I hope he didn't give you too much of a hard time.'

‘Nothing I couldn't handle,' he said, with the sexy smile of a man secure in his own skin. He could look after himself but Emily knew he would never have lifted a hand to do anything against his best friend except in defence. Even then, she suspected, he might've let Peter vent his anger unchecked if it made him feel better.

‘There wasn't any blood spilled so I'd call that a win. I wouldn't want to be the cause of any unpleasantness between you.' She was fully aware of the special bond they had and, as far as she could see, the only real friend each of them had. It would be selfish of her to think a holiday fling should mean more to Joe than everything he'd gone through with Peter.

Joe carefully laid the cold cloth he was holding across Nete's forehead and walked around to the side of the bed where she was standing. There was definitely a shift in the atmosphere as he took her hand and turned her to face him, as if by entering her personal space he'd pushed out all the negative space around her and replaced it with crackling sexual energy.

‘For the record, it would've been totally worth it.' His voice was a gravelly aphrodisiac, taking her right back to that moment before Peter had interrupted them. She'd been hovering on the brink of something amazing and she knew she wanted to go back there some time soon once they knew their patient was out of danger.

‘I'm glad you think so.' Her mouth was suddenly dry and she had to moisten her lips with her tongue before she was able to speak. It hadn't been intended as a provocative action but she didn't miss the flare of desire in Joe's eyes as he watched her. They'd better get a move on with that miracle cure.

‘I know so.' He dipped his head and left the ghost of a kiss on her lips; too quick to make a solid physical impact but with enough intention to stop her fretting that their time had already passed. There was still hope they could explore this chemistry if and when the opportunity arose again. Despite all the obstacles, Joe still wanted her and that was the best medicine in the world for her.

* * *

Joe hated it that they were pinning everything on this bowl of green mush on his say-so. Perhaps he should have kept it to himself and simply passed this off as an energy drink. That way the consequences of its failure wouldn't rest entirely on his shoulders. If this didn't work, the boy's condition was entirely down to the fates. Best-case scenario, he would recover on his own anyway. Worst-case scenario could lead to organ dysfunction, toxic shock and other life-threatening complications that required hospital intervention. Not two travelling doctors with little more than a first-aid kit.

He crushed the leaves with the wooden pestle and mortar he'd borrowed and ground away his fears before anyone could see them. As he'd watched the medicine men in India do, he squeezed the juice out into a bowl with his bare, clean hands. They didn't dilute the juice with water or add salt or sugar so neither did he, unwilling to take the chance of reducing its benefits.

‘We need you to sit up and drink this.'

Peter and Emily took one arm each to help Nete sit up while Joe tilted the bowl to his lips for him to sip at. He hadn't tasted the juice himself but the sight of it and the patient's puckered mouth told him it didn't have the sweet, palatable taste of commercial medicines.

It had taken Peter a good couple of hours to source the papaya leaves for him, during which time he and Emily had managed to set aside their unresolved personal feelings for one another and focus on their patient's recovery. They'd seen a small decrease in his temperature as a result of the course of treatment provided already but not enough to sit back. The fever itself, he knew, could be biphasic, breaking and returning, and any sudden disappearance could be one of the warning signs of dengue haemorrhagic fever, the next critical level of the condition.

‘When will we know if this is working?' Nete was understandably anxious for an instant cure for his pain but Joe didn't want to make any definite promises.

‘You'll have to keep taking the juice at regular intervals through the night, I'm afraid.' He shot Emily a look of apology too since this was the first time she was hearing the news.

‘We're all in for a long night by the sound of it.' Emily threw her hat in the ring to become part of the night watch alongside him.

Peter, on the other hand, already looked dead on his feet after his mad dash across the island, to retrieve the precious foliage. He'd done his part and keeping him here wouldn't serve any real practical purpose.

‘I think you could use a few hours' sleep, mate. If you want to grab forty winks while you can, we'll give you a shout if we need your help.'

‘I'll be fine,' Peter protested, blinking his eyes open wide.

‘The last thing we need is to be another man down because you've overdone it. Now, take the advice of
two
doctors and get some sleep. You can take the next shift. Scoot.' Emily was the one to finally shoo him away so they could concentrate on the one patient they already had.

They'd do that better without the spectre of their indiscretion lingering in the room between them. Peter's reluctance to leave them alone again was proof enough that he hadn't got over it yet, even if they'd decided to leave it behind them until they had time and space to deal with it. Or carry on where they'd left off.

When it came to Emily all his common sense seemed to go out of the window and he could no longer predict his own actions from one minute to the next. Ordinarily he thrived on that level of excitement but tonight's events had shown him just how destructive that lapse in judgement could be. By continuing relations with Emily he was playing a dangerous game but he didn't think it was one he could quit any time soon.

‘I don't know how you managed to keep control of an entire regiment. One pig-headed male is more than enough to deal with,' Emily huffed, as she won the battle of wills and common sense with her stepbrother.

To her it was a throwaway comment more about man's inability to admit personal weakness, something he knew a lot about. To him, any reference to his role in the military was a stark reminder of all the people he'd let down when they'd needed him most.

‘I'm not sure I did.'

‘There's no need for modesty. I'm sure you saved the lives of countless men on the front line and I know you pulled Peter out of a few tight spots.'

The patient was sleeping soundly now between them, dosed with papaya leaf juice and paracetamol and as cool as they could get him for now, so Joe stepped back from the bed for a little more space. He took a seat on the floor in the corner of the room and sipped at the cool water the chief had provided for them. Unfortunately, Emily followed him, apparently determined to carry on this conversation.

He'd probably played a part in saving lives in close-quarter combat. There were fleeting memories of bullet-ridden and shattered men he'd patched up and sent back in Chinooks to the base hospital, who he knew had later recovered from their injuries, but those faded against the vivid images of the last ambush he'd been caught up in. He'd had to rely on the expertise of other medical personnel through that one when he'd
become
one of the casualties instead of being the one helping them.

‘I did what I had to.' Mostly.

He took another sip of water, even the thought of the desert heat and that feeling of powerlessness making his mouth dry. Emily was oblivious to his discomfort, leaning forward, her head resting on her chin, listening intently as though he was telling her a bedtime story and not recounting the horrors of war.

‘Do you miss it? I mean, I know Peter found it hard to adjust to civilian life again. I imagine it must be harder still if you were battling to save lives every day and suddenly no longer practising medicine. That must have been a huge departure for you.'

‘It wasn't my choice.' The injustice of the situation forced its way to his lips before he could stop the words forming.

Emily cocked her head to one side, no doubt waiting for an explanation. He sighed, resigned to the fact he was going to have to reveal his biggest shame. Worse than that, he'd have to watch her reaction to it. Details of his hearing loss weren't something he often discussed. Generally he didn't stay in company long enough for it to become apparent. Asking people to repeat themselves, or missing snippets of conversation altogether, only became an issue if it was an ongoing problem. He didn't see the need to highlight his weakness and face more discrimination, decisions made on his behalf because of a perceived disability. The only reason he was considering telling her about it now was because she'd been brave enough to face her demons in his presence. Now it was his turn.

He took a deep breath.

‘I had to take medical retirement after the IED that killed Batesy and Ste.' He debated whether or not to go as far as spilling his guts over the guilt he felt over the incident but decided against it. No one would ever understand how much his failing had affected him, still affected him, and he didn't expect them to. That was his own personal wallowing pool.

When Emily didn't launch into her usual line of questioning, which he'd expected to draw the information out gradually, he was forced to elaborate.

‘The explosion damaged my hearing and the army decided they didn't want to take the chance of having a partially deaf soldier on the front line who couldn't hear the enemy coming.' The irony was that it was the stealth of the insurgents that had done the damage in the first place.

‘Couldn't you have continued your medical expertise in one of the hospitals or in some sort of training capacity?'

There had been no gasp of shock as he broke the news. Although he wasn't looking for sympathy, he had expected some sort of emotional reaction. Here he was, spilling a secret so easily to her that usually only came out when circumstances forced it from him, and she was treating it as a minor ailment that could've been remedied with some paperwork shuffling. She should've understood how great the loss of his career had been when she was so tied to her own. If it wasn't for her own medical expertise keeping her afloat in the aftermath of her marriage she might have felt just as lost as he had when he'd first left the army.

‘I was a soldier as well as a medic. I belonged in the field, not cooped up in some
safe
place while the rest of my colleagues were risking their lives. That blast stole my career from me and left me half the man I used to be.' There, he'd spelled it out to her in case she was missing the bit about him essentially being worthless to the army.

‘It may have felt like that at the time but you're so much more than the army. You've proved that with the work you've done here, and everywhere else on your travels.'

Joe wasn't sure if he imagined her flinching at the picture he'd painted since she spoke so coolly. Too coolly. Too precisely. Now he thought about it, he hadn't once had to ask her to repeat herself or speak up since they'd first met. She always spoke clearly, facing him, so he could read her lips, even if he couldn't hear her every word.