The Crown Affair (14 page)

L
AURA
had been back home for half an hour yet her cottage felt as unfamiliar as when she'd first moved in. Had it really only been a handful of weeks? she wondered, flicking on the kettle. So much had happened, so much had changed.
She'd
changed.

But one thing hadn't changed. She arrived here bruised and battered from a doomed relationship, and here she was again.

She could tell herself all she liked that she was ready to move on, but the truth was that she wasn't. How could she be when every corner of her heart wrenched and every cell in her body ached?

When would it ever stop? When
would
she be ready to move on?

The doorbell rang and Laura jumped. If that was one of her neighbours asking for a lift, she thought, heading to the front door, they could forget it.

But as she pulled the door back and stared at the figure standing on her doorstep, Laura froze. All her blood drained to her feet and her head went fuzzy. There was a roaring sound in her ears and her breathing shallowed and quickened. She wondered if she might be about to pass out. Thought it might not be such a bad idea.

Because although it was one of her neighbours, she was pretty sure he wasn't there to ask her for a lift.

Matt looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. His face was haggard and the lines on his face seemed more sharply etched. Her heart tightened with hope and longing and she had to force it not to, because she wasn't going down that road ever again. Blinking away the nausea, she pulled her shoulders back and curled her hands into fists to stop herself from reaching out, running over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing the life out of him.

Because however much she might wish otherwise, she'd missed him. God, how she'd missed him.

‘What are you doing here, Matt?'

‘Looking for you.'

‘How did you know I was here?'

‘I've been waiting for you.'

‘Not too long I hope.'

‘A while.'

‘I've been in London.'

‘Ah.'

He leaned against the door frame, his expression inscrutable, and Laura felt herself start to flap. ‘What do you want?'

‘I'd like to come in.'

Laura's heart began to hammer. Letting him inside her house would be such a bad idea, but if she left him on the doorstep then he'd know how much he still affected her and once again she'd be the one on the back foot.

‘Of course. Please,' she said, mustering up the semblance of a smile. ‘Do come in. Coffee?'

He stepped over the threshold and Laura felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the hall. ‘No. Thank you.'

He walked into her sitting room and stood with his back to the fireplace looking big and dark and gorgeous.

‘So,' she said, desperate to fill the crackling silence. ‘How's work?'

‘Horrendous.'

Good. Hah. There was some justice in the world, after all. ‘I'm sorry to hear that,' she said, feeling anything but.

‘You should be,' Matt said with the glimmer of a smile that flipped her stomach. ‘It's your fault.'

What? ‘How is it
my
fault?'

‘I haven't been able to get you out of my mind. I haven't been able to concentrate. I haven't been able to do anything much.'

Laura's breath hitched and her heart thumped as that flicker of hope she'd tried so hard to extinguish flared into life. ‘That's not my problem.'

‘Isn't it?' He sighed and rubbed his face. ‘You don't want my house.'

She bit her lip. ‘I don't understand why you gave it to me.'

‘Don't you?'

‘No. I've been going over and over it in my head and I just can't work it out.'

‘Can't you? I'd have thought it was simple.'

Simple? Nothing was simple when it came to her and Matt. ‘Then think again.'

Matt shrugged. ‘I gave it to you because you love it.'

Laura went very still. Felt a rush of pain shooting
through her and bit back a gasp. Oh, she was such a fool. Hadn't she secretly been hoping that he'd given it to her as a sign that he'd changed his mind? ‘Well, I don't want it.'

Matt flinched then tilted his head. ‘And what about me? Do you want me?'

Laura's heart skipped a beat. What kind of a question was that? She wanted him with every breath she took, with every cell of her body. And he knew that. So what was he trying to do? Torment her even further?

‘Absolutely not,' she said, steeling herself against the way his face paled beneath his tan and made her heart clench. ‘So I hope you haven't come to try and persuade me back to Sassania. Because nothing on the planet would tempt me to do that. You were right about us,' she said, her need to protect herself from him lending strength to her words and fire to her voice. ‘You know it's a good thing you finished our fling when you did, because I've decided that I really don't need another relationship.'

Matt went very still and his whole body tensed. ‘Is that really what you think?'

Laura nodded so violently her head nearly came off. ‘Absolutely.' Not.

He frowned. Took a step back, hit the fireplace and stumbled. He looked shaken. Uncertain all of a sudden. ‘Then it seems I've had a wasted journey. Forget about the house. It was stupid of me. I'm sorry to have interrupted your morning.'

Laura watched him frown, then nod to himself and shove his hands in his pockets. Her heart lurched as realisation dawned and then began to thunder. ‘Oh, my God, you were going to persuade me back to Sassania, weren't you?'

Matt's gaze collided with hers, but his eyes were completely unreadable. ‘Don't worry about it. I dare say I'll get over it.'

‘No, wait.'

He stilled. ‘What?'

Ignoring her churning stomach and all the hope and doubt and nerves tangling up inside her, Laura took a deep breath. ‘Why did you come here, Matt?'

‘To offer you all those things you've just said you don't want.'

At the bleakness in his voice her throat hurt. Her head began to spin. ‘But I thought you didn't do relationships.'

‘So did I,' he said with a short humourless laugh. ‘But then there are a lot of things I thought I didn't do which I apparently now do do.'

‘Like what?'

‘I sold my business.'

Laura blinked. ‘Oh.'

‘And my flat.'

‘Why?'

‘I'm going to stay on Sassania.'

‘That's good.'

‘I think so.' He sighed and shoved his hands through his hair. ‘You were right about that. It's not just a job. It is my duty and my legacy, but apart from that I like it there. The people are good and I want to make things better.'

‘You will.'

‘Maybe. Who knows?' He shrugged. ‘Anyway I should probably be getting back.'

He was leaving? Now? Just when things were getting interesting? No way. ‘When you said you were going
to offer me all the things I'd just told you I didn't want, what exactly did you mean?'

Matt froze. ‘Forget it,' he said flatly.

She bit her lip. ‘No.' She'd get to the bottom of what he was trying to say if it was the last thing she did. And knowing his reluctance to talk, it could well be the last thing she did. ‘I don't want to forget it. I want you to tell me what you meant.'

‘Fine,' he said, his whole body shaking with something that had her heart pounding crazily. ‘I love you. I want to marry you. I want to take you back to Sassania and make lots of little Sassanian babies with you. I want you to restore your house so we can spend our summers there. I won't stifle you. Or suffocate you. You can do what you want. Be what you want. You'd never fade into the background. It would be impossible.' He paused, shoved his hands through his hair. ‘My life is empty and soulless without you, Laura. I'm sorry I let you leave like that. I'm sorry I was such an idiot. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to figure it out. But I love you. More than I ever thought possible.'

Laura reeled as the words tumbled out. ‘Oh.'

There was a pause. Matt frowned. ‘Oh?' he echoed. ‘Is that all you have to say?'

‘No, no,' she said faintly. ‘It's just quite a lot to take in. I wasn't expecting you to be quite so, um, communicative.'

‘I've been practising. You should have heard me the first time. You know how much I like talking about feelings.'

‘I do.'

‘Well, now I'm done.' He frowned and a vulnerability flashed across his face that made her heart ache. ‘So what do you think?'

What did she think? She thought that if the happiness bubbling around inside her grew any bigger she'd burst. ‘I think that practice makes completely perfect.'

Matt let out a breath. ‘Then in that case do you think you can put me out of my misery and tell me how you feel about me?'

Laura smiled. ‘I love you. But you already knew that, didn't you?'

He crossed the room, gathered her in his arms and crushed her against him. ‘I had hoped. God, I'd hoped. But then when I got that email saying you didn't want the house…' His mouth twisted.

She laid her hand against his cheek and traced his mouth with her thumb until the twist became a smile. ‘I didn't know what it meant. I thought it might be a tax break.'

Matt's eyebrows shot up. ‘A tax break? I'm not that complicated.'

Not that complicated? Who was he kidding? ‘Or a sign that I should find what I've been looking for with someone else, or something.'

‘Don't even think about it. If you marry me, I'll make it my life's mission to give you everything you want.'

‘Oh, well, when you put it like that, how could I refuse?'

His mouth came down on hers and Laura sank into his kiss. Her arms wound round his neck and their mouths fused together so fiercely, so completely, their hearts hammering so closely that she didn't know where she stopped and he started. By the time Matt lifted his head desire was thumping around her and her whole body felt weak.

‘So a relationship, huh?' said Laura, leaning back and looking up at him once she'd got her breath back.

‘I know,' Matt murmured, his eyes dark and warm and filled with love. ‘And not just a relationship. Marriage. Who'd have thought?'

‘Not scared any more?'

‘Terrified, actually.'

Laura smiled. ‘Me, too. Neither of us is exactly an expert at the things.'

‘I guess we'll just have to muddle through together.'

Laura smiled and tugged at his T-shirt. ‘Sounds good to me.'

One year later…

‘S
O IT'S
finally finished,' said Matt, wrapping his arms around Laura's waist and drawing her back against him.

Laura let her head drop back and rest on his shoulder as she snuggled into his arms. She felt the last rays of the evening sun warm on her face, and thought she'd never been so happy.

All in all, over the course of the past year, she and Matt had muddled through remarkably well. Matt had got over his reluctance of talking about feelings with surprising enthusiasm and Laura had begun to understand him. Most of the time.

Their wedding six months ago had done wonders for the morale of the country, which was well on the way to recovery. Of course, she hadn't been able to continue working on the palace, but any disappointment she might have felt had been more than compensated by having the manor house to devote her energies to. ‘It is,' she said, gazing up at the house she adored. ‘What do you think?'

‘I think you're amazing,' he said, breath caressing her ear and making her shiver.

Laura grinned. ‘Of the house.'

‘It's beautiful. You've done a fantastic job.'

‘Thank you.'

‘You know,' he said, sliding his hands up her body to cup her breasts, ‘all that remains now is to work on the hordes of children you think should fill it.'

Laura put her hands over his and lowered them back to her abdomen, then twisted slightly in his arms to smile up at him. ‘Funny you should mention that…'