The Definitive Book of Body Language (49 page)

The core temperature for the human body is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, but the skin temperature varies depending on our emotional state. As mentioned earlier, people who are described as “cold” and “standoffish” are usually also physically cooler people because their blood is drawn into the leg and arm muscles for the “fight or flight” response created by tension. So when you call someone a “cold fish,” you are correct on both the emotional and physical levels. Conversely, when one person is attracted to another, their blood rises to the surface of the skin, making them warmer. This is why lovers who are in the “heat of passion” give a “warm embrace,” have “steamy encounters” and can be “hot stuff.” In many women, this increase in body temperature can be seen as their chests will become flushed or covered in red blotches and their cheeks also flush.

There is a biological reason why men love women's long legs. When a girl reaches puberty, her legs undergo rapid lengthening as hormones flood her body and change her into a woman. Her extra long legs become a powerful nonverbal signal telling males she is sexually maturing and is now capable of childbearing. This is why long legs have always been associated with potent female sexuality.

Supermodels and film stars have disproportionate bodies that have retained their pubescent long legs

Men love high heels on a woman because it gives her the illusion of having fertile-looking legs. High heels enhance a woman's sexual shape by lengthening her legs, arching her back, forcing her buttocks to protrude, making her feet appear smaller, and thrusting her pelvis forward. This is why the shoe with the highest heel—the stiletto—with its bondage straps, is by far the most efficient sex aide on the market.

Most men also prefer a woman with shapely, thicker legs over those with thinner, spindly legs, because additional fat in the legs highlights the sex difference between male and female legs and is an indicator of better lactation. Men like women's legs to look athletic but will be turned off if she looks like she could play football for England.

Models such as Elle MacPherson and Rachel Hunter turned female attraction signals into a multimillion-dollar business

Male displays involve the show of power, wealth, and status. If you're a woman, you'll probably be disappointed with our summary of male courtship signals because, compared to
those of women, there aren't too many. While a woman will dress sensually, wear makeup, and use a wide range of courtship gestures, men rev their car engines, brag about how much they earn, and challenge other men. When it comes to courtship rituals, most men are as effective as someone standing in a river trying to catch fish by hitting them on the head with a big stick. Women have more lures and fishing skills to land their fish than any male could ever hope to acquire.

In this section we'll cover the most common male body-language signals you're likely to see, much of which is focused around his crotch. Men are generally not good at sending or receiving the signals used in the mating game and, as we mentioned earlier, women not only control the game and make the rules, they own the scoreboard. Most of the time, men simply react to signals they see.

Some magazines try to convince readers that men's courtship skills are improving because of the increase in the numbers of men who are paying more attention to their appearance. Men now have facials, do their nails and toenails, tint their hair, straighten their teeth, use hair conditioner and face creams, and wear face powder. In the U.K. in 2004, a study by Gillette showed that Scotsmen were Britain's most vain men, spending an average of sixteen minutes a day in front of a mirror preening themselves. But most of this behavior is an increase in male vanity levels—not in men's ability to read women's courtship signals.

As with most male animals, the human male displays preening behavior as a potential partner arrives on the scene. In addition to the automatic physiological reactions already mentioned, he will straighten his tie, smooth his collar, brush imaginary dust from his shoulder, touch his cufflinks or watch, and rearrange his shirt, coat, and other clothing.

Male tie-preening gesture

Many men understand that talking at length to a woman about the personal intimate details of his or her life wins points and can open her mind—and more—to him. At the beginning of a new relationship a man will often use the talking strategy, but after the honeymoon period he's likely to go back to his stereotypical behavior of not talking—sticking only to facts, information, and solutions to problems when he does talk.

The most direct sexual display a man can make toward a woman is the aggressive Thumbs-in-Belt gesture that highlights his crotch. He may also turn his body toward her and point his foot at her, use an intimate gaze, and hold her gaze for longer than usual. When he's seated or leaning against a wall, he may also spread his legs to display his crotch.

In troops of baboons, and with several other primates, males display their dominance by using a penis display. By spreading their legs to give others a full view of the size of their wedding tackle and giving it the occasional adjustment from time to time, they can constantly assert and reassert their dominant status. This same display is used by human males to assert their manhood, though it is more subtle than the baboons, mainly because of the hefty prison sentence the baboon display would carry.

The fifteenth century saw the introduction of the not-so-subtle codpiece, which purported to display the size of a man's
masculinity and therefore his social status. In the twenty-first century, New Guinea natives still employ penis displays, while Western men can achieve the same effect with tight-fitting pants, small-size Speedo swimming trunks, or dangling a large bunch of keys or the long end of a belt in front of their crotch.

These hanging objects give a man the opportunity to reach down from time to time for any necessary adjustments. Most women can't imagine being in a public place and reaching down to scratch their crotch and are amazed that men will do this nonchalantly and with regularity. It's the same message for all male primates; they just use different approaches.

Belt- and crotch-grabbing while dancing are some of the less subtle forms of crotch display

This Mek warrior from Irian Jaya with his traditional penis sheath leaves no one confused about the message

The most common form of public male sexual display is the Crotch Adjust. Women everywhere complain that they will be talking with a man and suddenly, for no apparent reason, he will begin adjusting or handling his crotch. The implication is that his genitalia are so large and cumbersome that they need constant attention to prevent the cutoff of blood circulation.

Watch any group of young males together, especially where macho attitudes are encouraged, such as in sporting teams, and you will see continual crotch adjustment as each male unconsciously tries to assert his masculinity in front of the others. Women are horrified when a man then proceeds to get her a drink using the same hand he just used for his adjustments and he then greets people with a handshake.