The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships (10 page)

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Authors: Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras

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BOOK: The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships
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Reviewing Your Dreams
Now that you have your dream down on paper in some form, you are prepared to take on the third Rreviewing your dream. Like preparing for a test, you can study the details and fine points of your dream material so that you can pull it all together for the "big test," that is, the interpretation of the dream. For this purpose, we have devised a study guide for dream interpretation based on the model journalists use to describe and understand a news story. We call this procedure "the five Ws": the who, what, where, why, and when of the dream. It involves asking specific questions about the dream in each of these five areas. We have found that when done thoroughly, focusing on the answers to these questions can lead not only to understanding the dream, but also to new insights into waking life.
You may want to go through the five Ws independently first, with each of you writing down your answers to the questions in your journal, saying them to yourself or into a tape recorder, and then sharing them later with each other. You could also work on the answers cooperatively, asking each other questions and sharing the answers as you go. This can be a particularly helpful way to explore your dream, as you often do not pose the kinds of questions necessary to understand a particular dream. Sometimes you dream of a specific issue precisely because you are denying it proper importance in your waking life. The same lack of awareness that prompts the dream often makes it difficult to grasp the dream message on your own. As usual, there are no right answers to these questions and no grade on the "test"; it is an opportunity to explore and discover your inner dreamworld.
Below are suggested questions you might ask yourself or your partner for each of the five Ws. Add or change the questions as you go to meet the needs of a particular dream story or
 
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theme. Go through the process as though you are two curious investigative reporters interviewing each other to get the answers you need to make a full report. In answering each question, don't be concerned about getting it "right"; go with whatever thoughts come to you. You and your interviewer will sort out the details or discrepancies as you work through the dream story and analysis. When you have completed the five Ws for one dreamer, switch roles and go through them again for the other.
The Five Ws
Who: Who are the characters in the dream? What are three basic characteristics of each one of them? Who is most central or important? If there are unfamiliar characters in the dream, do they remind you of anyone? If you appear in the dream, are you active or a passive observer? Do you appear as a male or female? (We describe in chapter 7 how to look at all the characters and objects as parts of yourself, and how this can help clarify the meaning of the dream. This technique, which we call dream language, can be spoken, recorded, or shared at any time during your dreamwork.)
What: What are the main events of the dream? Summarize the story. What are the key objects, feelings, themes? What body sensations do you have during and after the dream?
When: When does the dream take placepast, present, or future? Day or evening? What age are you in the dream?
Where: Where does the dream take place? What are the scene changes? Note the sounds, lighting, and scenery. What is familiar or unfamiliar, strange or different about the setting?
Why and why now: Why is this dream occurring at this particular time? What is its function in your life now? Did something happen recently or at this particular time in the past
 
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that this dream brings to mind? If anything in the dream is different than it normally is in daily life, why is it changed? If this dream is similar to other dreams, why is it coming up now and how is it related to the other ones? Think of all the possible connections you can. This "why and why now" part of the five Ws is often the key element that gives a clue to the dream's meaning.
Once you have considered each of the five Ws, ask yourself or your partner which question stands out most in the dream you are working on. This procedure may give you a clue about where to focus in beginning to interpret the dream. Again, don't worry about getting the right answer; just take whatever is there and see where it takes you. Trust your intuition and go with it. Take your time when pondering your answers. Some will come to you right away, while others may take several minutes, hours, days, or even weeks to become clear. Talk with your partner about your thoughts, and stay open to what else may come up for you both. That is what one professional couple, Sam and Judy, did with a dream of Judy's that she had while they were at a convention together in her hometown, leading to some important insights. Here is the dream, followed by some of their inquiry into it based on the five Ws:
Show Time
I'm outside watching an event or performance of some kind. Something has gone wrong, so the curtain is brought down (as a "punishment"). I feel bad about missing part of the show. The curtain is multilayered with fantastic colorful designs on it. I'm fascinated by it. Then a long line of interesting characters comes out in front of the curtain led by a professor in a business suit. They all look happy as they go by. I go over to the professor. He looks attractive, though I only see him from behind. I go to find Sam and my sister, but
 
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we are stuck in a traffic jam in the parking lot. I wonder if we are going to make it in time to see the rest of the show. I feel anxious.
Sam:
I'd like you to say more about who's in the dream, the characters.
Judy:
They're all so varied and interesting, like the many parts of myself, like the many things to do here at the convention in meetings, with family and friends.
Sam:
What do you feel about that?
Judy:
I feel anxious and frustrated that I can't do them all. I don't want to miss anything in the show.
Sam:
This sounds familiar! Do you see how what's happening now can be related to everything you do?
Judy:
Yes, I can see how there are all these parts of me that I want to express ("a long line of interesting characters"), and I can't do it all. I notice, though, that even when "the curtain is brought down," and I miss some things, it's still interesting!
Working on this dream and having her husband ask her questions enabled Judy to acknowledge and appreciate the professor part of both her and Sam who was more prominent ("in the lead") at the convention they were attending. Afterward, she was able to relax and accept as much as she was able to do without feeling guilty (a "punishment") about what or who she was missing. She and Sam were able to use the dream as a reminder, and this helped them both "enjoy the show" more!
Finishing or Changing a Dream
Once you have gone through the three Rs and the five Ws of dreamwork with a particular dream, you or your partner may feel there is still more to the dream. There is no such thing as

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