The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (14 page)

I pull back and attempt to lighten the mood as I grin and ask, "So, what are you boys cooking for me?"

Mark smiles, but I clearly see the concern in his eyes. "Jase is the one who is doing everything. I'm not much of a cook. I'm trying to look helpful, but all I'm doing is stirring the pasta." Laughing, he stands up, grabs my hand, and pulls me off the bed. "Come on, let's devour the bruschetta while we admire Jase's sexy ass moving around the kitchen."

I smile, thankful for the humor, and say, "Absolutely."

Walking into the kitchen, Jase strides over to me, pulls me in for a hug, and gives me a quick kiss. "Hey, sweetie. How was work?"

"Weird at first, but it wound up being a busy night, which was good," I say as I walk over to the wine rack and select a bottle of Nero d'Avola. I uncork the bottle and pour three glasses of the floral Italian wine. As Mark and I settle at the bar, Jase picks up his glass and stands next to us. No toast is needed when the three of us clink our glasses before drinking.

Mark and I sit, chitchatting, while Jase slices up a baguette for the bruschetta. This is exactly what I needed tonight: a relaxing evening with my guys, good food, and wine.

"So, what are you cooking?" I ask Jase as he's stirring a few pots on the stove.

"Lobster tortellini, vodka sauce, pan-fried asparagus, and roasted garlic bread," he says as he moves around the kitchen.

"God, that sounds good!" I look over at Mark and ask, "Hey, didn't your band have a show last night?"

"Yeah, we played at Blur. It was a great gig; the place was packed."

"I've never been there before," I say.

Jase looks over his shoulder at me and jokingly says, "Candace, you haven't been anywhere." He chuckles and then adds, "You should really hear them play sometime. You'd like their sound."

The conversation halts when there is a knock at the door. Mark walks over to open it, and my stomach sinks when I see Kimber standing in the doorway. I jump off the barstool, and Jase is immediately by my side.

"What the hell is going on?" she asks. She is pissed, and understandably so. Walking in, she throws her purse on the couch, and with her hands on her hips, she continues, "You two have been avoiding me all week, and I have no clue what I did to piss you guys off!"

"We're not pissed at you," Jase reassures her, but by the look on her face, she's not buying one word. "Candace just wanted a little time away, that's all."

"From me? I'm supposed to be your best friend?!"

I've seen Kimber worked up before, but not like this. She is visibly not only pissed, but I can tell that her feelings are hurt as well, which hurts me in return. It's not my intention to hurt her at all. I love Kimber, and we have never had secrets between us until now.

"Why won't you talk to me?" she demands.

"I'm sorry," I say, as Mark heads back into the kitchen. I walk over, sit down on the couch, and quickly think of any reason to give her. She moves to stand in front of me, and I know she is waiting for an answer. Nervous, I start to speak again, "Jack and I got into an argument at the party. I was upset, he was drunk, so I called Jase to come pick me up."

Jase butts in and adds, "I suggested she stay here in case he showed up at your house. That's all."

"So why couldn't you just call me and tell me?" The look in her eyes is calling
bullshit
on our lie.

"I didn't want you getting involved. You can sometimes overreact, and I just wanted everything to die down without any drama. It's no big deal, and I haven't heard from him. It's over, so can we just drop it?" My hands are sweating; I hate even mentioning his name. I really want this conversation to be done with. I look up at Kimber, and she is shaking her head at Jase and me.

"Bullshit!" she snaps as she grabs her purse off of the couch and heads for the door.

Jumping up, I say, "Kimber, wait. Please don't be mad at me. I'm coming back home this week. It's not a big deal, please don't make it into one."

She takes a step towards me and says, "You're the one who made it such a big deal when you decided to avoid me all week. We have always been honest with each other, but if you really want me to believe your story, then fine. I believe you." With that, she turns her back to me, walks out, and slams the door behind her.

"Are you sure everything is all right?" Jase asks as he is helping me unpack my bags.

After my fight with Kimber, I stayed a couple more nights with Jase. It was nice to have him there when I got home from classes on Monday. I didn't think returning to school would be as stressful as it turned out to be. I didn't miss much, so I wasn't stressed about that part. I guess it's more paranoia than stress. Truth is, I am terrified of running into Jack on campus. I know the likelihood of that happening is slim, considering I have been here for the past three years and our paths have never crossed before, but I can't help constantly looking over my shoulder while I walk around campus. The feeling consumed me every day, and when I got back to Jase's apartment, he was there when I broke down from all the panic I was trying to keep bottled up all day. He had asked if I needed him or Mark to help out by trying to meet up with me on campus, but none of our schedules matched up enough for it to be possible.

"Yeah, Jase. I can't stay with you forever, and you and Mark don't need me around all of the time." I start piling my dirty clothes in the hamper and get a load of clothes separated to wash. In all honesty, I don't want to be here. But I feel like a burden to Jase. He keeps assuring me I'm not, but I know he and Mark really want some privacy. I don't blame them. Plus, I haven't heard from Kimber since Sunday night when she showed up at Jase's, so my being back here at the house is unsettling.

Tossing my empty bags in the closet, Jase asks, "What time do you get off work tonight? Do you want me to meet you afterward?" I know he's worried about me since my new feelings of paranoia have surfaced. He met me yesterday after I got off work to simply walk me to my car and follow me home. But I really don't need him to keep doing that since I always walk out with Roxy or another employee.

"I close tonight, so I'll leave around eleven, but you don't have to meet me there. I'm working with Roxy, so I won't be alone," I say as I grab the basket full of clothes and walk out of the bedroom. I dump the basket off in the laundry room before heading to the living room. Jase takes his bag, and I walk him to the door. "Thank you."

Looking at me, he asks, "For what?"

"Everything." I barely get the words out when I feel the tightening in my throat. I'm not really good at expressing how I feel, but I wish I could because everything Jase has done for me this past week and a half has been beyond anything anyone has ever done for me. The compassion and love he gives me every day means the world to me.

"Sweetie, I feel like I haven't done nearly enough," he says. But he has. He couldn't have done anything more.

I shake my head and start to cry. He knows me well enough that no words are even needed. He pulls me in, and we hold each other tightly. I press my head into his chest, and the tears keep coming. Jase combs his hand through my hair while I cling to him.

"You keep the key to my place, okay. Come over anytime you need, even if it's the middle of the night."

Nodding my head, I pull back and look into his eyes. I lift up on my toes and give him a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he responds as he opens the door. "Text me tonight when you get home."

"Okay." Shutting the door behind him, I walk back to get my laundry started and to start reading for one of my classes.

As soon as I get into my car, I pull out my phone and text Jase to let him know that work was fine, and I am heading home. Kimber had classes all afternoon, so I didn't see her before I left for work, but I know she will be there when I get home.

Roxy is starting to get a little concerned about me. She keeps asking me questions and wanting to make sure everything is all right. I try assuring her that everything's fine, but I know she doesn't believe me. I can't blame her really. Just like at school, I keep fearing that Jack is going to walk through the doors at work. Every time the little bell over the door rings, the anxiety builds in my stomach, and I know Roxy notices.

Pulling up to the house, I see Kimber's car out front. I didn't tell her I was coming home today. Walking inside, I make my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before I go to my room. I see Kimber sitting at the bar when I enter.

Looking up at me, she says, "Hey, I didn't know you were coming back today."

"Yeah," is all I manage to say as I open the fridge and grab a water. The silence is very awkward, and I just want to go to my room and not deal with this tension between us. "Well, I'm really tired, so I'm going to head to bed."

"Yeah, okay," she says quietly.

I really hate that things feel so strained between us, but I am not sure what to say to her. She knows I'm lying to her, and I feel bad for that but not bad enough to tell her the truth.

I brush my teeth and slip on some sleep shorts and a tank top before taking my sleeping pill that the doctor prescribed to me. Since I started taking them, I haven't had any more extreme nightmares. I lie down in bed and grab my phone off the nightstand to text Jase one more time. I've gotten used to sleeping with him in the same bed, so lying here alone feels strange, almost scary. I've been clinging to Jase as my life support lately, and not having him here with me makes me wish I was back in his bed, in his arms—not alone.

Goodnight. I miss U.

Miss U too. Did U see Kimber?

Yeah. Didn't really say much. It's awkward.

I'm sorry, sweetie. Hopefully it will get better and things will get less weird for you guys.

Maybe. Is Mark with you?

Yeah.

Tell him I said HI. Love you guys.

We love you too.

2 weeks later

Things are still tense with Kimber. We hardly even talk anymore aside from the civil greetings when passing by. I keep apologizing, but she is still mad at me. I wish we could move past this and go back to the way it used to be. But I'm beginning to think that the way it was is the way it will never be. Things are starting to get a little more comfortable at work. Roxy has never mentioned Jack again since that first night back. I've been having issues with being alone at night, so I have been spending a few nights a week with Jase. Either he comes over or I go to his apartment. Once I'm asleep, it's pretty restless. Lying in the dark, waiting for sleep to come, is the hardest part. Every time I close my eyes I am back in the alley, on the ground, with
him
.