The Field (3 page)

Mick:
Ah, now, Bull, be fair, she's entitled to the best price she can get. The field is legally hers.

Bull:
An' she'll get a fair price. I'll hand you over £200 here an' now an' you'll give me a receipt.

Mick:
£200! Ah, you'll have to do better than that. Anyway, 'tis for public auction on these premises, the fifth of April. 'Tis out of my hands, Bull … Sorry!

Bull:
Is the bills out yet for it?

Mick:
No, not yet.

Bull:
Did you notify the papers?

Mick:
I'm just on the point of doing it.

[Lifting Maimie's typing]

Bull:
[Pointing to it]
On the point of it, but 'tisn't done.

Tadhg:
If it goes to the papers, you'll have twenty bidding for it.

Bull:
We can't have that.
[Pause. Hand on typing …]
And we won't have that.

Mick:
[Detaches papers from Bull's hand]
The auction will have to be held.

Bull:
And let it be held! There will be no one here but ourselves.

Mick:
Ah, now, you know well there will be more than you interested. That's a good bit of land.

Bull:
If it don't go to the papers an' if there's no bills who's going to know except what's here?

Mick:
You can't do that!

Bull:
'Twas done before. You did it yourself.

Mick:
This is different. Old Nesbitt, the solicitor, knows about this.

Bull:
He's an old crook and, if you ask me, he won't be here the day of the auction.

Mick:
What are you going to do? Kidnap him?

Bull:
There's a few old granduncles of mine with wills to be made. One of them could be dying that day, couldn't he? Oul' Nesbitt wouldn't want to fall out with our clan.

Mick:
Hold it! Hold it! I can't be a party to this. There's a reserve of £800 and the old woman needs the money. Besides, it's illegal.

Bull:
[Laughs]
Illegal! That's a good one!
[Nudges his companions]
Did you hear that … illegal?

Mick:
There's my commission. Five percent of £800 is £40. I'm not going to lose £40 because you need a cheap field.

Bull:
[Threateningly]
I need that field! I have nineteen acres and no passage to water. I have to get a passage. I'll pay you the £40 the day of the auction, provided my bid is accepted.

Mick:
I'd like to see that in writing.

Bull:
Writing? … Do you want me to be hanged? I'll sign nothing. Look! You needn't sign over the field 'till I plank the £40 into the palm of your hand.

Tadhg:
That's fair enough for anything, isn't it, Bird?

Bird:
'Tis reasonable.

Bull:
There will be something for Bird, too. We won't forget the Bird.

Mick:
You don't seem to understand that this is highway robbery.

Bull:
'Tis worse robbery the other way. Do you want some hangblasted shagger of a stranger to get it?

Mick:
What about Maggie Butler? 'Tis her field and no one else's.

Bull: '
Tis as much mine! Look here, Flanagan, there's nothing to prevent a boycott of your shop.

Mick:
What … what do you mean?

Bull:
There's a hundred relations of mine in this village and around it. Not one of them will ever set foot in this pub again if I say so.

Mick:
Give me the £40 now and I'll do my best.

[Bull laughs and Tadhg moves to his left shoulder]

Bull:
I'll give you the half of it. I'll give you £20 the day of the sale. Fair enough?

Mick:
Fair enough! The Bird better keep his trap shut.

Bull:
The Bird don't like to get his feathers wet. Do you, Bird? There's many a deep hole in the river below and who's to say how a man might lose his footing?

Bird:
My lips are sealed.

[Bull draws a wallet from his pocket and extracts two tenners]

Bull:
[To Mick]
Here's two ten pound notes. The Bird here will act as a witness. Put your hand here, Bird,
[He places Bird's hand over Mick's]
and say after me
[Authoritative tone]
… As God is my judge …

Bird:
As God is my judge …

Bull:
I swear by my solemn oath …

Bird:
I swear by my solemn oath …

Bull:
That I witness the receipt of £20 by Mick Flanagan …

Bird:
That I witness the receipt of £20 by Mick Flanagan …

Bull:
Of the first part …

Bird:
Of the first part …

Bull:
From the person of Thady McCabe of the second part …

Bird:
From the person of Thady McCabe of the second part …

Bull:
[Proudly with grim humour]
Here-in-after, affectionately known as the Bull … I'm no fool when it comes to law, boys.

Tadhg:
Hear! Hear!

Bull:
I'm as big a rogue as any solicitor.

Mick:
I'll have to get the bills printed but I'll get the lot burned when they come from the printers.

Bull:
Solid thinking … very solid! Now, here's what we'll do. The morning of the auction the Bird here opens the bidding with a £100 and I rise him £10.
[Increasing in tempo]
The Bird goes to £120 and again I rise him £10. The Bird soars up to £150 and again I rise him £10. The Bird flies higher to £190 but I'm there with the final bid of £200. All straight and fair and above board. Two down, as the man said, and carry one. What about the printer? Is he trustable?

Mick:
Safer than a confession.

Bird:
What about me, Bull?

Bull:
What about you?

Bird:
You promised me something.

Bull:
What would you say to £5?

Bird:
I'll take it.

Bull:
The minute the land changes hands, 'tis yours.

Bird:
What about £1 on deposit?

Bull:
[Wounded]
Is it how you don't trust me?

Bird:
No … No … Good God, no!

Bull:
You won't be forgot, Bird. You have my guarantees on that.

Bird:
Stand us a half-one before you go?

Bull:
Give him a half-one, Mick. We'll all have one. Have one yourself, Mick.

[Bull throws coin on counter and Mick goes to fetch whiskey]

Bull:
[Leaning on bar, in an ecstasy of accomplishment]
I watched this field for forty years and my father before me watched it for forty more. I know every rib of grass and every thistle and every whitethorn bush that bounds it.
[To Bird]
There's shamrock in the south-west corner. Shamrock, imagine! The north part is bound by forty sloe bushes. Some fool planted them once, but they're a good hedge. This is a sweet little field, this is an independent little field that wants eatin'.

Bird:
Well, you'll have it soon
[Accepts whiskey from Mick]
with the help of God.

Bull:
[Looks at him suspiciously for a moment but goes on]
When oul' Maggie's husband died five years ago, I knew he was dying. One look at the writin' under his eyes and I knew. I knew the wife was feeling the pinch lately. I knew by the writin'. 'Twas wrote as plain as a process across her forehead and in the wrinkles of her cheeks. She was feelin' the pinch of hunger.
[Suddenly to Bird who becomes transfixed]
Bird, I swear to you that I could tell what a man be thinking by the writin' on his face.

Bird:
Have no fear o' me!

Bull:
[Affable]
I won't oul' stock, for I know you're to be trusted above any man I know.

Tadhg:
Da, what about the dinner?

Bull:
[Proudly]
There's your healthy man! When he isn't hungry for women, he's hungry for meat. Tadhg, my son, marry no woman if she hasn't land.

[Enter a youngish sergeant of civic guards in full uniform]

Sergeant:
Good afternoon, men!

Mick:
Ah, good afternoon to you, Sergeant Leahy. Would you care for a drink?

Sergeant:
Thank you, no, Mick.

Bull:
[To Tadhg]
Come on away or our dinner will be perished.

Sergeant:
I didn't call to see you, Mick. I came to have a word with Mr McCabe here.

Bull:
Well, you'll have to postpone it because I'm going to my dinner.

Sergeant:
This won't take long. I'm here investigating the death of a donkey.

[Laughter from all]

Bull:
Investigating the death of an ass! You wouldn't hear it in a play! By gor! 'Tis the same law the whole time. The same dirty English law. No change at all.

Sergeant:
Maybe not, but I have to ask your son and yourself a few questions.

Bull:
You're out of your mind, Sergeant. Come on away home, Tadhg. God, have ye anything else to do? What about all the murders and the robberies? 'Twould be more in your line to be solving them. Come on, Tadhg, this fellow is like all the rest of 'em. His brains are in the arse of his trousers.

Sergeant:
[Sharply]
That's enough of that! Sit down and answer my questions … sit down or come to the barracks!

Bull:
Sit down, Tadhg …
[Smugly]
There's more thought of donkeys in this world than there is of Christians.

Sergeant:
Where were you the night before last?

Bull:
What night was that?

Sergeant:
[To Tadhg]
Where were you the night before last?

Tadhg:
Where's that we were again, Da?

Bull:
We were at home playing cards.

Sergeant:
Until what time?

Bull:
Till morning.

Sergeant:
And did you leave the house during that time?

Bull:
We were in the backyard a few times, or is that ag'in the law, too?

Sergeant:
Can you prove that you didn't visit Mrs Butler's field over the river on that night?

Bull:
On my solemn oath and conscience, if we left the house for more than two minutes.

Sergeant:
You have that field taken for grazing, haven't you?

Bull:
Everyone knows that.

Sergeant:
Well, can you prove you weren't there?

Bull:
The Bird there was playing cards with us till two o'clock in the mornin'.

Sergeant:
Is that the truth, Bird?

Bird:
Gospel!

Sergeant:
Well, the donkey was killed around midnight. His cries were heard by a couple walking along the river. They reported to the SPCA who in turn reported it to the Barrack Orderly. What I want to know is where were ye when the donkey was poisoned?

Tadhg:
He wasn't poisoned!

Sergeant:
How do you know he wasn't poisoned?

Tadhg:
Well …

Bull:
Because there's no poison on our lands. That's how he knows an' don't be doin' the smart man with your tricky questions. What is he but an innocent boy that never told a lie in his whole life. You don't care, do you, so long as you can get a conviction. Tell me, where do you disappear to when there's tinkers fightin', an' law-abidin' men gettin' stabbed to death in the street?

Sergeant:
Bird, you say you were at this man's house that night and I say – you're a liar!

Bird:
Ye all heard it! Ye all heard what he said! You called me a liar, Sergeant, and no man does that to the Bird O'Donnell. No man – uniform or no uniform.

Sergeant:
All right! All right! I take it back. I apologise for calling you a liar.

Bird:
You better not do it again!
[Somewhat mollified]

Sergeant:
I'm wasting my time! There's nothing in your heads but pigs and cows and pitiful patches of land. You laugh when you hear that an old jackass was beaten to death, but a man might be beaten to death here for all you'd give a damn.

[Exit Sergeant Leahy]

Bull:
And a Sergeant might get his face split open one night and all the guards in Ireland wouldn't find out who did it … not if they searched till Kingdom Come!

[Action takes place as before.

The time is the morning of April the fifth.
Maimie Flanagan
is behind the bar. Three of the children are playing in and around the bar area. The
Bird
is seated at table with a glass of whiskey in front of him. The
Bird
rises and approaches the counter. He brings his whiskey along with him and swallows it at the counter. He places glass on counter and takes coin from his pocket which he places on the counter]