The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) (30 page)

“Uh uh, but don’t let me stop you.” She snuggled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder.

“It feels so good to have you with me like this, Julia.”

“I agree. I miss you more than you know.”

I swallowed the cookie and then set the container on the end table next to one of the flickering candles. It cast a glow over us and danced on her soft features.

“Oh, I think I do.” I pulled her across my lap and kissed her on the temple, settling us both in. I wrapped my arms around her as she fit so perfectly into my body. “Are you tired, my love?”

Her little hand was drawing circles on my chest and I was rubbing her back. “Julia?” I said into the soft hair on top of her head.

“Just a little, but I’m okay. I don’t want to sleep right now. Merry Christmas, Ryan.”

“Oh, yes…is it time to open my present yet?” I laughed softly. I could feel her pleasure at my words. She smiled against my chest.

“What? Are you ten?” she teased.

“Yes,” I insisted and she burst out laughing.

“I’m a little nervous about it.”

“Why, babe?”

“It’s really personal,” she said hesitantly.

“Everything
about us
is personal. My gift for you is personal, too. Would you like to open it first?”

She lifted her head and looked into my face. Biting her lip, she nodded. I bent to kiss her, licking her lips softly. She moaned and our kiss deepened, her hands gripped my jaw and the back of my neck.

When I pulled my mouth from hers, I went back and kissed those luscious lips gently. “Ok. I’ll get it.”

She scooted off of my lap and gathered the sheet back around her while I went to the tree to retrieve the gifts.

I sat beside her on the couch, turning to face her and handed her the smallest package.

“Did you wrap this yourself? It’s so beautiful.” Julia’s hand gently brushed over the shimmering silver bow and the brilliant red paper, which looked like shades of burgundy in the candlelight.

“Yes. Are you surprised?” I smiled and brushed her hair off of her face. She nodded slightly. “I have to tell you, Miss Abbott, you look so tempting sitting here in that sheet, like you’ve just been made passionate love to. You make me hungry for more, so open the presents already.”

A small laugh burst from her and she smiled brilliantly. Her hand came out to thread through my hair that had fallen over my forehead. “I love you, Ryan. You’re the only thing I need.”

I wanted to pull her close to me and make love to her right then and there, but instead, pressed the box more fully into her hands. “Open it.”

Slowly her fingers pulled the bow and set it aside, before carefully separating the corner folds on the box. I was more anxious for her to open it than she was. Finally, the small white box was revealed and she lifted the lid.

I’d gotten her a platinum and diamond bracelet, the center being the cursive letters R and J that were entwined together, the bottom of the R running into the top of the J, and a diamond in the center of where they connected. The band was set on each side with three diamonds, each one a little smaller than the last as they moved away from the letters.

“Oh, Ryan…it’s just gorgeous.” Her eyes were full of tears as she raised them to mine. “I’ll treasure it, always. I love it. Thank you.” I took it from the box and placed it on her left wrist, and pulled her hand up so I could place my lips beside the bracelet.

“I love you, Julia. I hope you don’t think it’s too early to get you diamonds, but I needed to get you something that would mean something and say that you belong to me.”

She gasped at my words and slid her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. “Anything you give me means something, babe. I love it, truly.”

The diamonds sparkled on her wrist as she got up. “I’ll be right back.” Julia disappeared down the hall and returned with a flat square box about 30 or so inches square. It was wrapped in beautiful gold paper and some sort of sheer fabric bow full of gold sparkles.

My face lit up as I reached for it, but she held it back from me, still clutching the sheet around her. “Ryan, I need to tell you about this first.” The tone in her voice was apprehensive and her eyes were wide as she looked into my face.

I was quiet as she sat with the large box on her lap.

“I had this made for you.”

“What is it, Julia?”

“It’s one of the photo’s from that shoot I did last month.” I started to speak, but she put her fingers to my mouth. “Please, I know you’re impatient, but let me finish, Ryan. I asked Mike to take some extra photos because I wanted to do this for you. I was only thinking of you the whole time. Your eyes, your voice…the way you touch me and make me feel.” Her voice began to tremble. “I told him why I wanted these pictures, so he knew they were for you.”

“Are there many of them?”

“I’ll give them all to you, but this is the one I chose.” She handed me the box and I was scared to look inside, my hand shaking, but I took a deep breath and ripped the wrapping away in one fast motion.

I glanced at her. She was biting her lip, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d be bleeding.

I lifted the lid and separated the tissue paper which encased a large silver frame with a black and white photo inside it. Julia was lying on her back, wrapped in a sheet with such an amazing look on her face, much of her body exposed, so much like she had been earlier in the bedroom, but in the picture her eyes were open. A mixture of love, desire and longing like I’d never imagined softened her features and made her lids heavy. I’d never seen anything more beautiful. I was mesmerized; stunned.

The air rushed from my lungs as I stared at it. “You’re so beautiful. Just…fucking gorgeous.” My throat was aching and my vision blurred. “It’s…perfect, love. Thank you.” My hand ran down the silver frame to some engraving on the bottom.

Body, Heart and Soul…I Belong to You. Forever.

I felt a tear fall onto my cheek as I read it, an echo of the words I’d said just minutes before…
I needed to get you something that said you belong to me.

“Baby…I can’t tell you how much I love you right now. My chest feels like it’s going to explode, it hurts so much.”

She leaned in to kiss my face where the tear trailed down and threaded her fingers in my hair. “I mean every word. You own me. You always have.”

I gathered her close and kissed her, gently, tenderly. “You’re everything. I can’t even breathe without you.” I wiped another stray tear from my face and then one from hers as I stared into her liquid green eyes. My hand at the side of her face pulled her closer and I kissed her cheek and then her temple.

“I have another present for you.” I lifted the larger of my two gifts into her lap.

“The bracelet was so much, Ryan, you shouldn’t have…”

“It’s not that kind of present. I hope you’ll like it. It’s the truth, honey. Every word.”

She ripped the paper open as I had done on the photo. I had written it in my own hand, in a gold pen that I’d gotten at a craft store, and then had it matted and framed in antique gold.

“Ryan…Oh my God,” she breathed as she raised her eyes to search my face. I couldn’t look away if my life depended on it, as the diamond tears fell in soft cascades down her cheek. I started to recite what I wrote,

~Julia, I love you because…

The first time our eyes met, I was lost.

You’re my very best friend, and you know me better than I know myself.

Your smile lights up my life.

You complete my thoughts and my words…like we are the same person.

You know when I’m hurting and exactly how to comfort me.

Your touch melts me, like no other ever could.

Your eyes see me for who I am, and you accept everything about me.

You trust me freely and with all that I am, I feel safe in trusting you.

You give of yourself so completely.

You spoil me rotten.

You’re the most intelligent, beautiful and giving person I’ve ever known.

Your heart sings to mine. I am the moth to your flame.

You can make me desire you with a look, or a word or a touch…yet without any of it.

You set my body on fire like no one ever has.

The light changes when you walk into a room.

You own me, body and soul.

Because you love me so much. Unconditionally.

It is evident in how you speak to me, how you look at me and in every single touch of your hand.

Because you are the greatest gift of my life…I don’t deserve you, yet here you are with me.

You reach into my chest and squeeze my heart, and fill me so fully.

You give me peace, sanctity and safety.

You are everything I could ever want or need.

My life was not complete before you came into it…My need for you consumes me.

The sound of your voice is the last thing I need to hear in this life.

My soul recognizes yours…and yours mine.

You make me want to be better, to be more, to deserve you.

Our love is endless; it transcends earthly bounds and the endless peripheries of heaven.

You breathe your life into mine and are all my dreams come true.

You are only
mine
, forever…

Because of all of this and so much more…

I need you. I want you. I adore you.
I love you
…more than my own life.

~Ryan

She was shaking by the time I finished and took the frame from her hands. Julia fell into my arms, tears raining down her face. My throat ached with the emotions flooding through me.

“Don’t cry my love. I’m sorry.”

“God, don’t be sorry for that,” she sobbed into me before pulling back to look in my eyes. “I don’t know what to say…it was so incredibly beautiful. So romantic and perfect. It’s a perfect reflection of you.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just tell me you’re mine.”

“Always. You’re the love of my life. You know that,” she whispered against my skin, right before her open mouth sucked and nipped at the corner of mine.

“Yeah, I know,” I said huskily and scooped her up and carried her down the hall to the bed. “From the moment we met, I’ve known. Julia,” I moaned into the side of her neck as I kissed and dragged my open mouth along it. “Make love with me. I want to drown inside you. I never want to be without you, again. I feel like I’d die if you ever left me. It sounds weak, but it’s the truth. I love you that much.”

After that, words were lost; the only sounds were our panting breaths, our kisses and moans of passion. We both gave everything and wanted to give more still. Every touch was reverent as we worshiped each other, body and soul.

~9~

Something was tickling my face. I batted at it impatiently and rolled over.
Sleep
. I wanted more sleep…I was having the best dream;
Julia and I were walking in a beautiful snow shower and I loved how the flakes caught on her beautiful face. She was smiling and leaned in and kissed me full on the mouth. Mmmm…I could feel the snow falling softly on my face and hair as we kissed, her warms lips moving so gently with mine. She smelled so sweet…

“Okay, that’s it!” Julia’s voice was soft but firm as she smashed a handful of snow in my face and giggled while I yelled in shock.

“Arrrgghh!” Instantly I was wide awake as I looked up at her. She was straddling my hips over the top of the covers, fully dressed in her green and black ski suit. Her eyes were alight with mischief and her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. She’d obviously been outside already, judging from the now melting snow on my face and running down my neck. “You’re gonna get it, Abbott. That was horrible of you…you little brat!” I admonished and sat up quickly to grab her, flip her on her back and attack her. She giggled and wrapped her arms and legs around me. The cold still clinging to her suit made me shiver as my mouth found hers in a hungry kiss. Her mouth opened eagerly beneath mine and my body sprang to life. “See what you do to me? Even when you’re being mean…” I moaned against her mouth.