The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) (33 page)

“Jules, you taste so good. I could do that all night.”

I collapsed in his arms, satisfied and shaking. He lifted me into the tub and as I slipped down into the hot water, he stripped off the rest of his clothes and finally slid in beside me. He kissed my mouth and I could taste myself on his lips and tongue. It was so intimate and amazing; we were connected on so many levels.

He moved me in front of him and held me tight. “I’ll never be able to tell you or show you how much I love you. It overwhelms me.” He kissed the side of my neck softly, moving his mouth up and down on my skin. “
This
is us, Julia.”

My heart was so full of him and the love I felt poured out of me in waves. “Baby…” my voice throbbed and I arched my neck and head back onto his shoulder and turned to kiss his jaw. “I love you more.” My hands traced over his forearms. “So much.”

“I hope I just proved that you belong to me. You’re mine.”

I smiled and chuckled softly. “Mmmm…is that what that was? Maybe I’ll need you to prove it to me again. Just to make sure I don’t forget.”

His breath rushed from his body as he smiled against my temple. “Anytime. It’s my pleasure.”

“You’re so good to me.” I turned in his arms, wanting his mouth on mine and needing his body inside me. I sat on my knees in front of him and his eyes roamed over my face and down my body, lingering on my breasts and then back to my mouth. He licked his lips. I could see the want in his expression. I ached to give him the intense pleasure that he’d just given me.

His hand reached out and pushed the hair back off my face as he sat up and pulled my face toward his. As his mouth opened wetly over mine, my hands slid into his hair. Ryan groaned into my mouth. His free arm wound around my hips and pulled me up onto his body until I was straddling his hips. His cock was full and long, pressing into me and I moved so that my slickness moved over him. He grunted and dragged his mouth across my jaw, when I moved over him, gyrating my hips in little circles. It felt amazing and I watched intently for his reaction and gasped at the desire I found in his beautiful face. He closed his eyes and I moved my hand down to grasp around his length, to guide him to my opening. I rested my forehead on his as he slid deep inside me, filling me until I couldn’t stretch anymore.

Ryan’s breath hitched. “Mmmm…Nothing will ever feel as perfect as making love with you.”

I brushed his hair back and then kissed him as I started to rock my hips into his. The water sloshed out of the tub in the dark bathroom, the sound becoming a regular rhythm with our moans and soft pants. Each and every kiss was deeper and more reverent than the last as the movements of our bodies became more urgent. He moved deeply inside me, his hands guiding my hips in slow, deep strokes…the minutes ticked by, the sensations building in both of us. My nipples rubbed against the soft hair of his chest, adding to my arousal. I felt the tightening begin again. Ryan knew my body so well, he whispered against the swell of my breast…“That’s right baby, let it go. I want you to come again, Julia.”

Hearing those words tumbling from his lips, his voice so velvet and filled with passion, sent me over the edge. I clawed at his shoulders as I spasmed around him, my body sucking on his until he lost himself in his own release. “Unnnnn…Julia…you feel so good.”

I was wound around him and his arms slid around my waist and back to pull me tight against him. We were both kissing each other’s shoulders and faces. I tugged him back so that I could kiss his mouth once more, licking at his lips. “I never want you to stop making love to me, Ryan. I never want to be away from you.”

“Oh, honey,” he sighed and kissed the side of my cheekbone.

The water was getting cold which told me we’d been making love for quite a while. Time didn’t seem to exist. Ryan felt me shiver and lifted me with him out of the bath. He grabbed a couple of towels with his free hand and proceeded with me in his arms, into the bedroom. There was an electric fireplace and he flipped it on as he made his way to the bed, then pulled the covers back and placed me underneath. I watched him move and he wrapped a towel around his waist and then got the remote to the TV and turned it on.

“Do you want to watch TV or would you rather have music?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Julia, you have to stop saying that. I’ll be ravishing you all night if I have my way.”

“Well…that works for me.” I smiled as I watched a grin split his face. The fire was casting a reddish glow across his striking features and turned his hair to copper. “You’re gorgeous. You take my breath away.”

His brow dropped over his eyes and he shook his head. “Julia.”

“Go ahead and scoff at me. You are. So shut up and take a compliment, Matthews.” He completely ignored me.
Is he that oblivious to how beautiful he is?

“I vote for music. Is that okay with you?”

“
Anything
you want,” I said again and his mouth quirked softly at the implied meaning behind the words.

He selected a soft rock station on the Music-On-Demand channel and then crawled under the covers next to me. I threw off the towel on my head and settled into his body as he pulled me close. His chest rising and falling beneath my cheek was comforting and I closed my eyes. Words were unnecessary.

We let the firelight and the music envelop us, both of us reaching out to the other with soft feather touches. I let myself concentrate on the music, as several songs played. Ryan had chosen well. I loved acoustic guitar and the soft strains of a jazzy Latin rhythm began to fill the room in low tones, and I let myself dissolve into the words. It was sexy and sultry, but the lyrics were perfect for us. It spoke of longing and overcoming obstacles and a determination to be with the one you love…no matter what had to be overcome, certain love could last forever. It was beautifully poignant and heart wrenching; it branded us.

His arms tightened around me, letting me know that he was listening to the words as much as I was. I felt my eyes begin to burn and my throat tighten. I closed my eyes and held onto the man in my arms.

The tears slid softly from my eyes and fell onto Ryan’s chest. “Julia, we
will
be together. I’d give anything if you could be with me all of the time,
now
…but it will happen, eventually.”

The last strains of the song faded out. “I know. I just miss you more than I ever thought I would,” I said, trying to keep the throb out of my voice.

I felt his lips in my hair. “I miss you, too. You’re all I think about.”

I turned into him and slid a leg between his as we continued to lie there together, the warmth of his body seeping into mine. He touched me softly, soothingly, until my eyes grew tired and I felt myself drifting into sleep, the words of the song still haunting me. “It won’t be enough, Ryan,” I said sleepily.

“No.
Forever
isn’t long enough,” he answered and pulled me up to kiss me softly on the mouth and run a finger down my cheek and over my lower lip. “You know I’m going to marry you, right? I’m not fucking around. You’re
it
for me, Julia.”

More tears slipped from my eyes as his fingers brushed them away. I nodded. “Yes,” I gave him the answer he needed.

“Go to sleep, my love,” he said as he pulled me gently across his chest and I wrapped an arm over his waist. “I’m not letting go of you until I absolutely have no choice.”

Where had all the time gone? We dropped Paul off at LaGuardia and Aaron left earlier to go back to Boston. He was great, helping us move Julia in, but also understood my need to be alone with her. She was sitting in the center of the backseat of the cab, her head on my shoulder, neither one of us speaking. Yes, she was closer now, but still…we wouldn’t be together. Not the way we both wanted. I turned my face toward her and kissed her forehead, breathing in her sweet scent. I closed my eyes. These past ten days had been heaven and now leaving would be hell.

Her arms tightened around mine and she sighed loudly. My heart was heavy and she was very upset, despite her attempt to hide it. I tightened my grip. My arm rested across her lap and my hand closed around the knee furthest away from me.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For this time…”

“Oh, babe…there is nothing I love more than being with you, Julia,” I murmured. I tried to put a smile on my face as I nudged her shoulder. “Do you want to go out tonight? I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

She shook her head. “Uh uh. Moving wore me out. Aren’t you tired? You worked so hard.” She nudged me back and looked up into my face, smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes. The sadness in the emerald orbs made my heart break. My thumb brushed the edge of her jaw as I bent to kiss her mouth. Her lips clung hungrily to mine and I never wanted to let her go.

“Yeah. I’m tired,” I said, my lips dragging up to place a soft kiss on her cheekbone. The cab stopped at her new apartment. A one-bedroom walk-up that Jen, Aaron and I had found while Julia was still in Los Angeles. It was small, but so expensive that it was all she could afford, even with my help.

I passed the driver a twenty as Julia waited on the sidewalk. “Come here, baby.” I took her hand, pulled it over my shoulder and bent to lift her leg and hitch her up onto my back. She didn’t argue and curled around my body, her arms and legs wrapping tightly around me. I put my hands under her bottom and carried her piggy-back into the building and up the stairs. She bent toward me, placing an open-mouthed kiss on my neck. Her mouth was hot and wet. I felt my heart and body tighten.

“I love you, Ryan,” she whispered in my ear. I wanted to be happy for her…her new job was an amazing opportunity and it did get her on the right side of the country, but our time together was so wonderful, I hated to see it end. I wanted her with me constantly.

I climbed up the stairs and at the top Julia dug the keys out of her pocket. I turned her so that she could unlock the door while she was still on my back.

“You can put me down, honey.”

“Nope.”

Julia laughed softly. “What?”

“I said
no
. I didn’t stutter, did I?” I teased. I pushed through the door and it closed behind us.

“Hmmph,” she snorted. “What’s this about, Matthews?” She threw her coat off and it landed on the floor beside the door and reached up and took the baseball hat off of my head, tossing it on top of her coat.

“I just don’t want to let go of you tonight. So sue me.” I grinned as I sat on the couch, pinning her behind me. She pulled my coat down off of my shoulders and I took it out of her hands and threw it aside. I pulled both of her feet together in front of me and started untying her shoes, pushing them off and letting them drop with loud thumps to the floor. I leaned back into her and she squealed while I used each foot to push my own shoes off.

“Hey, you’re smashing me,” Julia complained with a laugh, and poked me in the ribs. I loved being with her, doing nothing more than this.

“You poor thing,” I retorted sarcastically as I started to rub her feet. She relaxed behind me but I tensed when her little hands burrowed beneath my shirt to rake her nails softly down my back. I shuddered under her touch, the tingles running down my spine. “That feels good, babe.”

“Yes it does.” Her arms wrapped around my waist and she rested her head on my back. I pulled one of her hands up and held it between both of mine. The bracelet, sparkling on her wrist, glistened in the low light. “The time with you goes by so fast,” she whispered achingly.

I paused for a few seconds, trying to shake off the sadness welling up inside my chest. I kissed the top of her hand, then turned and pulled her around me. I lay down on the couch and pulled her small form to lie on top of me; both of us wrapped our arms tightly around each other.

“Hey, none of that. You’re starting a new job and there’s so much to look forward to. You’ll make a bunch of new friends, and you have this amazingly expensive and
tiny
apartment!” I teased. “It’s like a cracker box. There isn’t even enough room to put up any of those pictures you’ve drawn of me.”

She chuckled. “Yeah. I’ll manage. At least
I’m
not sharing it with Aaron and Jen.”

“Sure, add insult to injury, why don’t you?” My hands were running up and down her back. I loved the way she fit into my body. Trying to be lighthearted, my heart was aching at the prospect of leaving her.

“Mmm…I had a wonderful few days with you. The time in Colorado was so precious, Ryan.”