The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (12 page)

Haady
pushes the rowboat away from the shore, and I follow him, wading through the
shallows and soaking myself to my waist. I’ll be lucky if I don’t freeze to
death before I get to Dabani.

He holds the boat steady for me
while I clamber aboard. Then he climbs in and takes his seat, shoving the oars
into the water and pulling on them hard. I wrap my cloak around me and watch
him in the moonlight.

“You’re thinking hard,” he says,
his voice labored from his exertion. “Too hard.”

“There is much to think about,” I
say. “This plan has many moving parts.”

“You lie,” he says. “You were
thinking about me.”

I
was
thinking about him, but I won’t admit it. Haady doesn’t matter
to me anymore. I’m going to marry my prince. But that doesn’t mean I want to
burn this particular bridge.

“I was thinking that I’m glad
you’re here. It makes it easier to spend my last moments in Bhutan with a
friend.”

He pauses in his rowing.
“Saphala, we’ve been many things to one another, but friends isn’t one of
them.”

I sigh, but this is one of the
reasons I was drawn to Haady once upon a time. He doesn’t let me get away with
any bullshit.

“Still, we’re familiar with one another.
Better you than some of the servants Uncle may have sent.”

“I requested this duty,” he says.
“As did Naag. I had to fight with him to get it.”

I freeze. “Naag?” I say,
swallowing hard. “The stable riffraff?”

“Oh, dear Saphala, be careful. If
Naag is riffraff, what does that make you?”

“What exactly are you implying,
Haady?”

“It’s an interesting study in
human nature, this situation, don’t you think? Here’s a girl whose greatest
ambition is to become queen. And yet she beds her uncle’s personal servant, his
stable riffraff, even the cook’s son. Don’t you think her time would have been
better spent seducing someone who is at least her equal?”

My cheeks grow warm. I sit
seething.

“But that would require her to
give up a bit of her power. And this girl, she’s known what it’s like to have
no power. And she’ll never suffer that way again. Not even in her bedchamber.
Or in the hay, as it were.”

“I could have you whipped for
such insolence,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Except now, you are once again a
Dabani untouchable. Good luck with that. Though if you want to hold the whip
yourself, I’ll pull down my trousers and we can make a game of it.”

I open my mouth to speak, but he
cuts me off.

“On second thought, it would be
like banging the stable riffraff, since you were with him this afternoon, and
that’s not really my thing.”

“How dare you!”

He begins to row again. “I dare
because the power has shifted, Saphala. I thought you cared about me. You care
about no one but yourself.”

I force myself to laugh. “You
really thought I would fall in love with a servant? Dear Haady. How quaint.”

“We’re good enough to fuck but
not to love — how could I have forgotten? My entire adulthood has been
spent in someone’s bed because I was ordered to please this wife or that mistress.
You are the first girl I actually chose to bed of my own free will. Everyone’s
entitled to a mistake.”

“You think bedding me was a
mistake?” I shriek.

“An error in judgment, a colossal
waste of time, a weak moment of pleasure for a lifetime of hell…call it what
you will.”

“What do you mean, a lifetime of
hell? You think to insult me with ridiculous dramatics?”

“If you think to pawn this off on
someone else, you’re out of luck. Your uncle knew we were sleeping together. He
has not ordered me to anyone else’s bed in the last cycle.”

“I don’t care about your antics
in the noble bedchambers,” I say. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Haady raises the oars. “You
really don’t know?”

“Tell me what you’re blathering
about or shut up.”

“Saphala, I have the Great Pox.
And you gave it to me.”

My mouth falls open. “That’s
ridiculous! I’m not sick! And even if I were, there’s a greater possibility
that you gave it to me!”

Haady shakes his head. “I have
the first lesion. It appears within fifteen days of infection. You are the only
one I’ve been with.”

“I’m not sick,” I repeat.

Haady closes his eyes and lowers
the oars back into the water. “You probably developed a lesion inside, where
you could not see it. They say it can take up to a cycle to see the next wave
of symptoms. I suggest you see a healer first thing when you reach Dabani.”

“I’ll do nothing of the kind,” I
say. “I repeat, I am not sick. Perhaps you missed your first lesion and this
one is symptomatic of the second wave.”

He doesn’t reply. I close my eyes
and listen to the oars cut through the water.

“You know, I planned to throw you
overboard and leave you here. I was sure you knew you were infected.”

My eyes fly open.

“But I see that you truly didn’t
know. And I think a lifetime, however short it may be now, with the Great Pox
plaguing you, is punishment enough.”

I try to think back.

A few moons ago, my moonblood was
particularly painful. The healer couldn’t find a reason for it, other than
“sometimes women must suffer.” That was just a few weeks after I seduced Naag.

Naag. Damn him.

“Haady, I don’t know what to say.
Perhaps we weren’t in love, but I would never wish this on you.”

“This isn’t about you,” he says.
“For once, I want to hear you say it.”

I think this very much is about
me, if what he’s saying is true. But I’m in a rowboat in the middle of the sea
with only him. “I’m sorry, Haady.”

“You won’t be marrying any
prince, Saphala. The disease will start to show itself. Luckily, your uncle
sent you right back into the fold with the rest of the untouchables.”

“He knows?” I say.

“He knows.”

A tear leaks from my eye. A sob
catches in my throat. I put my face in my hands and burst into tears.

Haady doesn’t speak. He simply
rows.

“So, I’m off. I want to get to Maja as soon as possible.”

“You’re going alone?” Prince Kai
asks.

“Go-Betweens always travel alone
and in the dark. So Maja wills.”

“This is unacceptable,” Manoj
says. “A woman cannot travel alone, and certainly not in the dark of night.”

I smile. “Are you proposing to be
my escort, Manoj?”

He looks at the prince.

“We’re planning on going up
anyway,” Prince Kai says. “If we leave now, we’ll have time to ask him to help
Faaris. Pack up quickly. We may be there a day or two.”

“The high priest will be calling
tomorrow,” Faaris says.

“He can wait,” the prince says,
folding his blanket up and stuffing it in his pack. “This is more important.”

I gasp. “I’m more important than
the high priest?”

Prince Kai smiles at me. “I’ve asked
you to be my bride. No one comes before you.”

Manoj coughs. I smile back,
though the prince cannot see it. “Thank you.”

***

We are almost to the Swifty, and I’m falling behind. I’ve never set
such a fast pace since, well, ever, and the speed is taking its toll on my leg.
Or maybe it’s the fact that this is my third trip up or down the mountain in a
week, and I’m hardly in the best of shape.

I stumble again, and I’m pitched
headfirst into the dirt. I spit the dust from my mouth and try to catch my breath.

“Nilaruna!” the prince says,
going down on his knee beside me. “Are you hurt?”

“Just my pride,” I say, climbing
to my feet with his assistance. “I’m sorry. My body’s not built for this.”

“The fault is mine,” he says.
“We’re used to trailing without any women.”

“It’s not that I’m a woman,” I
say. “It’s that I’m scarred.”

“I’m sorry, Nilaruna,” he says.

I smile reluctantly. “It’s Nili.
My family calls me Nili.”

“Nili. And you can call me Kai.”

“But only in private,” Manoj
corrects him.

“Kai,” I say, “do you mind if I
take off the veil? It’s difficult to see with it on once the sun goes down.” I
watch Manoj shudder.

Prince Kai faces me and removes
the veil himself, putting it over his head. “Holy heavens! How have you been
able to see this entire time? The veil completely obscures your vision.”

“I’m used to it,” I say, pulling
it off his head and wrapping it around my waist. I trudge on ahead, and the men
follow me.

We finally reach the river’s
edge, and I point downstream to our left. “There are the ropes. You should
probably remove your shoes. It’s quite slippery.”

Kai tugs his boots off and stows
them in his pack. The other two stare at us.

“What is it?” I ask.

They exchange a glance. “Maybe
you can carry her,” Manoj says to Faaris. “If I take the swords.”

“What are you talking about?” I
say.

“Nilaruna, we cannot let you
cross alone,” Faaris says. “The river is moving fast, and if you drop, we’ll
have no hope of catching you. I think Manoj is right. I’ll carry you.”

I don’t reply. I simply walk up
to the ropes, get a good grip on the top one, and step out over the rapids.

I can hear them even over the
roar of the water.

“She’s going to fall!” Manoj
says. “And then where will we be?”

“Do you think the rope will hold
my weight while she’s on it?” Faaris asks.

“Trust her, my friends,” Kai
says. “She’s done this before. On her own.”

I don’t bother looking, but I
know they’re staring at me as I cross.

I think hard to Maja.

Maja, can you hear me? I’m returning. I’m on the rope at this very
moment. I’m bringing visitors. I hope that’s okay.

Nili? Oh, Nili, my love, thank the gods you have returned safely. I’m
away from the cave for the moment. If you reach it before I do, make yourself
comfortable. I will return shortly.

In less than five minutes, I jump
to the shore.

I cup my hands around my mouth
and yell back, “Now you. Don’t slip!”

Kai chuckles. “Who’s next?”

Each of them handily crosses the
rope.

I thought if anyone were going to
fall, it would be Manoj. But he surprises me with his athleticism.

“I’m soaked through,” Manoj says,
wringing out the bottom of his trousers. “We should change so we don’t catch
cold.”

I’m already heading up the trail.
If Manoj thinks he will delay my reunion with Maja so that he can be warm and
comfortable, he’s got another thing coming.

I can hear them jog up to meet
me.

“Nili, maybe we should put some
dry clothes on,” Kai says when he reaches me. “You’re going to be chilled to
the bone.”

“I’m fine,” I say, though my limp
is becoming more pronounced. “Our clothes will dry on the way.”

“As you will.”

He falls in step beside me. “So.
Does Maja know we’re here, do you think?”

“Yes,” I say. I debate telling
him about Maja’s mind-reading powers, but I’m not sure Maja would want anyone
to know. “He is aware when an intruder is on his land.”

“Will he come to meet us?”

“I don’t think so. We’ll see him
in his cave.”

“This is an uncomfortable
situation, isn’t it?” Kai says. “I mean, you know…it’s just going to be
difficult.”

“Maja’s life has been dedicated
to protecting the kingdom,” I say. “He’s lived a long time. I think he will
handle himself just fine.”

“That’s not what I meant…or maybe
it is. I’ve never…I’ve never had to fight for a woman before.”

I smile. “It’s like I’ve gone to
sleep and awoken on the moon,” I say. “This cannot possibly be my life.”

I slow my pace just a bit, and
Kai matches me.

“So what would you be doing now,
in your normal life, if you weren’t here?” he asks.

“I would probably be asleep,” I
say. “My father does not allow us to burn candles unless there’s a need, but if
he were up mending a patient, I might be lying on the floor outside his
workroom, trying to read by the light that filters under the door.”

“You like to read?”

I nod. “There are few books in Dabani,
and I suspect most of them are in my bedroom. I have many of them memorized.”

“What is the last one you read?”

“
The Book of the Dying
,” I say, and Kai turns his head sharply to
me. “You know, I didn’t think I’d live long as Go-Between.”