The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (14 page)

I
want to fly away, but my launching pad is far and the woman in my arms is in
pain. She hides it well, but I know her. Her leg feels like it is about to fall
off.

I exit the stone tunnel and set
her down gently. I expect a tongue-lashing, but instead, I get a hug.

“Dear Maja, this is not the
ending we envisioned, is it?”

I push away from her. “So you’ve
already chosen to marry him.”

“No. Whatever happens, it will be
our choice together. Prince Kai has given us that courtesy.”

“But you are leaning towards
marrying him.”

“I want to be married to you,”
Nili says. “You are in my heart. But it’s not that simple.”

She sinks down beneath a pine
tree, and I change my form to that of a man. She kisses me soundly.

Then she goes over the entire
dilemma in detail.

“So the sticking point is Shiva,”
I say. “Shiva wants you to be the one to marry the prince, even though other
girls will do. Why?”

“I do not know,” she says. “Maybe
it is about you. Maybe Shiva doesn’t want you to be distracted from your
duties.”

“There is something I have not
told you, Nili.”

“What?”

“If I can make it to the end of
this cycle, once I die, I will become a god.”

“A god? How?”

“Anyone worshipped for three
hundred cycles gets their godhead. That’s how it works. I have three moons to
go.”

Nili raises her good eyebrow. “So
someone wants to prevent you from becoming a god?”

I shake my head. “I do not know.
It’s just a possibility. In the mean time, I have to find a way to alter this
spell. If I could leave, I could protect you.”

“Already done,” she says with a
smirk.

“What?”

“That was one of my conditions
for marrying the prince,” she says. “He had to get your curse changed to allow
you freedom of movement. It is done.”

“How could he do that?” I ask.
“I’ve been trying to negotiate with Shiva for three hundred cycles!”

“Maybe he didn’t ask Shiva,” she says.
“Or maybe it serves Shiva’s purpose now for you to be free.”

I climb to my feet and pace in
front of her.

“Nilaruna, if I knew you were
going to be safe, maybe, just maybe, I could agree to this, for the greater
good. But I don’t care what Shiva does to me, or to the entire kingdom, for
that matter. I will not allow you to go to your death!”

“What if he kills me anyway, just
to prove a point?” she asks.

I growl and pull my hair. “Shiva,
may the gods damn you, you little bastard!”

And Shiva appears beside Nili.
“You called?”

Maja
lunges for him.

They scrapple on the ground,
kicking and biting (okay, that’s mostly Shiva). Maja gets in one good punch to
the jaw, and Shiva reels back.

“What did you do that for?”

Maja stands over him, chest
heaving. “I’m done with you playing with me! Take my life, but spare Nilaruna.”

“No, Maja, no! Shiva, don’t
listen to him. We will work something out.”

Shiva climbs to his knees and
then jumps to his feet. “But this is such an interesting line of thought,” he
says. “My pet dragon for the untouchable. What are you offering?”

“Kill me now,” Maja says, bowing
his head. “Give Nilaruna a long and happy life with the prince.”

“No!” I yell.

“Hmmm.” Shiva scratches his chin
thoughtfully. “I still need a bride to thwart an assassination attempt, and
that bride will be mortally wounded. That part of the future, I cannot change.
No. As gratifying as that exchange would be, no.”

“You owe me,” Maja whispers.
“Three hundred cycles I have served you faithfully. I do not deserve this, and
you know it. Nilaruna does not deserve this. Look at her! The most glorious
woman, the truest of heart, the bravest of spirit, and what do you do? You
continue to torture those who worship you. You do not deserve your godhood.”

Whoa. My heartbeat starts to
pound in my ears. Shiva is going to kill him!

The look in Shiva’s eyes is
murderous! I pop to my feet, ready to defend Maja to the death.

And then Shiva sinks to the
ground before us.

“I’ve changed, Maja. Truly I
have. This is not a prank.”

What?

“But whatever it is, you’re
playing it like it’s one. Haven’t you hurt enough people?”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying
to prevent!” Shiva yells. “Nilaruna is the key. She must marry the prince!”

“But why must she die?”

Shiva sighs. “There’s a chance
she won’t. A small chance. The poison is fast-acting, and there will be little
time to save her. But it is possible.”

“How?” Maja says. “Give me the
cure.”

“There is no mortal cure,” Shiva
says. “A god must save her.”

“Then give me your word, now. I will
become a god when I die. I only have three moons to go.”

“Maja, the assassin will arrive
before three moons are up,” Shiva says. “I’m sorry, but it will be too late.”

“I can keep her safe for three
moons!” Maja yells. “I will find the assassin and lead him away. It doesn’t
matter how it’s done, but I will do it. Just give me your word. When I die, I
will become a god.”

“You know you will. It’s not
something I can stop. Three hundred cycles of worship and you will become a
god.”

“Say it!”

“Fine! When you die, you will
become a god. Sheesh!”

“Thank you,” Maja bows to him.

Then he grabs the short sword off
Shiva’s back. “Your word is law.”

And Maja plunges the sword into
his own chest.

Faaris comes running into the cave, panting hard.

“Maja, he’s dead!”

“What?”

The three of us run back out,
Faaris keeping pace with me.

“Shiva appeared,” he says. “He
said only a god would be able to save Nilaruna from the poison. Maja got him to
agree to make him a god when he dies. Then Maja stabbed himself so he could
save Nilaruna!”

My mind races. This cannot be!

We finally reach the place where
they are gathered. Nilaruna is bent over a man, sobbing her heart out.

“Remake him, Shiva,” she cries.
“Remake him. Please.”

“I cannot,” Shiva says wearily. “My
sword is final. Maja knew that.”

“Shiva, what is the meaning of
this?” I demand.

Shiva pushes to his feet. “I’ve
been had. That’s the meaning of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“He tricked me,” he says,
pointing at the man, who I presume is Maja. “The arse actually tricked me.” He
laughs. “Good for him.”

“What will we do now? We need him
to protect the pass, don’t we?” Manoj says.

Shiva waves a hand. “Give him a
few moments. He’ll awaken.”

Nili lifts her head at this.
“He’s alive?”

“Not exactly,” Shiva says. “I
mean, yes, but not in the same way. You won’t be able to marry him, Nilaruna.”

“Why not?” she says, sitting up.
“You have lovers. I know you do.”

“Shhh,” Shiva says. “Not so loud.
Parvati might be within earshot.”

“And you’re married,” she says.
“Why can’t Maja be married?”

“We can only marry another god.
Yes, he can be your lover, but I believe you and Kai agreed to be faithful.”

Nilaruna glares at me. I run a
hand through my hair. “You haven’t even agreed to marry me yet,” I say to her.
“And that was your rule. I do not deserve that stare you are giving me.”

“You’re right,” she whispers.
“There are too many unknowns here. Shiva?”

“What?”

“We need you to answer our
questions.”

“I’ve said too much already,” he
says. “I must away. Good luck.”

“Wait!” I command. I mumble the
binding spell under my breath. “Nili is right. We need answers.”

“No. Goodbye.” But Shiva doesn’t
move.

“I thought you were leaving,” I
say.

“What have you done to me?” he
whispers.

I ignore the question. “Why must
Nilaruna be the woman I marry?”

“I won’t answer!”

“Then we will be here for a very
long time.”

Shiva and I stare at each other.
He finally cracks.

“Fine. She’s an untouchable, but
is also intelligent and beautiful. An untouchable is needed to rally the
kingdom.”

“Rally the kingdom against what?”
Nilaruna asks.

“The untouchables, of course.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Manoj
shrieks, but Faaris nudges him with an elbow.

“I told you. Ants versus the
rats. Ants win.”

“Why would the kingdom need to
rally against the untouchables?” she asks.

“The untouchables are massing,”
Shiva says. “They are planning a revolution. And they will win unless you take
away their reason to fight.”

“I’m afraid I’m the wrong person
for the job,” Nilaruna says. “I would join such a revolution. Things do need to
change in the kingdom.”

Manoj’s mouth gapes. “You would
take up arms against us, Nilaruna? That is treason!”

“I wouldn’t want to fight the
three of you,” she says. “I’ve come to care for you, and I believe you are good
men. But Manoj, the untouchables deserve better. You know me now. You know the
person that I am. Do I deserve to be a pariah among my people because I am
scarred?”

“It is engrained in our culture,”
Manoj says. “What I believe you deserve does not matter. We cannot change an
entire culture in a few short moons.”

“Just answer my question,” she
presses. “What do I deserve?”

Manoj huffs a breath and stares
at his feet. “To have a good life. To have a good life based upon your deeds
and character. You do deserve that, little Nilaruna.”

Nili smiles. “Thank you.”

“So now you understand,” Shiva
says. “This has great implications for generations to come.”

Maja coughs then and stirs. Nili
bends over him, and we watch the wound on his chest close and his ripped tunic
mend itself.

Faaris whistles under his breath.

“Maja? Can you hear me?” Nili
asks.

Maja nods and moves to sit up.
Nili gives him a boost with a hand on his back.

“There’s going to be a
revolution,” Nili says, and Maja frowns.

“I know. I heard everything. Nili,
my love, you have to do this.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head.
“When I thought you were dead, everything was made clear. Nothing matters but
you. We can join the revolution, and we can make a difference, and we can do it
together.”

Maja slowly rises to his feet and
pulls her up beside him. “I am a god now. I cannot join sides in a war between
my people. And as Shiva said, we can never marry.”

Nilaruna stares at him. And then
she raises her tiny fists and beats Maja with them.

“You idiot!” she screams. “You
complete and utter idiot!”

She raises a knee to kick Maja in
the groin, but he sidesteps easily and grabs her shoulders.

“Stop it this instant! I’m not
the enemy here!”

She continues to pummel him
wherever she can reach. “You ruined it! You ruined everything!”

Faaris looks at me. I give him a
small nod.

He grabs the edge of Nili’s tunic
and tugs her to him. “Whoa there, my lady. Let’s calm down.”

Nili continues to kick and thrash
in Maja’s direction. “I will not! My life is over!”

“It is not,” Maja says. “You are
very much alive, and that is all I ever wished for. My life for yours.” Maja
bows low. And then he goes down on both knees and presses his forehead into the
dirt. “My life for yours,” he repeats.

Nili sobs silently, tears
streaking down her cheeks.

Faaris releases her and bows low.
Then he gets on his knees and presses his forehead to the dirt. “The ultimate
act of bravery,” he says. “I bow to you, sir. You honor us.”

I follow and prostrate myself to
Maja. “You honor us,” I say.

Manoj sighs loudly, and I can
hear him settle himself low beside me. “A godhead most deserved,” he says.

Shiva swears and kicks his foot
into the dust. A fine powder of dirt settles over the three of us.

“Can I go now?”

I’ve got Nili safely tucked under a blanket on her feather pallet in
the far corner of my cave. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell fast
asleep.

But not before I took the pain
away in her leg.

The three men and I are lounging
on cushions and drinking wine, trying to come up with a plan.

But we’ve clearly drunk more than
we intended. In fact, I’m fairly sure we’re on our eighth flagon. Or is it
ninth?

“So you and Nili were
communicating,” Kai says. “Is it magic?”

The wine has loosened my tongue.
“It’s a skill I was born with,” I say. “I can talk with any female in our
minds, and I can hear the thoughts of anyone.”

All three raise their eyebrows at
me and swear. I laugh.

“But it only works when I
actively use it,” I say. “I’m not listening to you now.”

“Can you do magic?” Manoj asks.
“I mean, before you became a god?”

I nod. “I can transform matter.
Anything with similar mass. Say I want food. I can transform an equal amount of
dry leaves into anything I want. But I have to be able to see the leaves, or
whatever I’m transforming.”

“Whoa,” Faaris says. “That surely
comes in handy.”

“And I can start fire, heal
non-mortal wounds, change my form into any creature…but it takes a certain
amount of energy, sometimes a lot. Do you find it so as well?”

“Do we find what so?” Kai asks
me.

“Does your magic tire you
quickly? Or have you found ways to overcome it?”

The men exchange a glance. “We
cannot do magic, Maja,” Kai says. “No one in the kingdom can.”

“You’re wrong,” I say. “It’s in
your blood. All of you can do these things, especially since you were born to
powerful families. I’m sure your magic is powerful, as well.”

Faaris laughs. “What I would give
for that to be true!”

“It is,” I insist. “Don’t you
have certain talents, Faaris?”

“Sure,” he says. “I’m the best
swordsman in the kingdom. But I wasn’t born to it. I had to practice.”

“Do you intuitively know what
your opponent’s next move will be?”

“He does,” Manoj says. “He says
he’s learned to read their bodies. But I’ve spent as much time on the practice
field as he has, and I don’t have that skill.”

“You are doing magic, Faaris,” I
say, “and you don’t even realize it. Perhaps you are a mind reader.”

Faaris scoffs. “If that were the
case, I would have a wife by now.”

We all laugh.

“Maybe you can see a bit of the
future. Like two seconds ahead of time. I think Nilaruna is stirring.” All the
men turn their heads in her direction. Without pausing, I change my hand into a
claw and swipe at Faaris’s chest. He scrambles back at the last second and I
miss.

Both Kai and Manoj draw their
knives and round on me.

“Stay back!” Kai yells.

I chuckle. “I was just proving a
point. Faaris wasn’t even looking at me, and yet he knew to react. That’s not
skill. It’s magic.”

Faaris’s eyes grow round with
awe. “What else can I do?”

I laugh. “I have no idea. But it
would behoove you to figure it out. Someone has killed my last twenty-two
Go-Betweens with magic. Our enemies know themselves far better than you know
yourselves. You need to figure it out.”

Kai sheathes his knife and pours
himself more wine. “If this is true…if it’s all true, the untouchables are the
ones who suppressed the use of magic. How did they gain such power?”

“They have always had great
power,” I say. “They are the largest caste in the kingdom. But those above them
have always ignored them. They’ve been able to accomplish much behind your
backs.”

“But how?” Manoj says. “No one
listens to untouchables.”

We hear Nili wake and pad along
the cave to my cushion. She settles herself in front of me and presses her back
to my front. I kiss the top of her head.

“Imagine this,” she says. “You
perform a bit of magic, say, you start a fire by pointing your finger at a log.
An untouchable sees you and gives you a look of disgust. You don’t care, you’re
not even supposed to look at untouchables, but you caught the meaning anyway.
How dare an untouchable look at you like that! But it sticks with you. No one
wants to do something that would disgust one of the disgusting.

“And then imagine you have
untouchable servants. You don’t really interact with them, but they start to
shun magic. They refuse to light a fire so easily. They start cooking rather
than transforming food. Eventually, these are the ways things are done. You’ve
never done these tasks yourself anyway. So the next generation doesn’t even
remember they were once done with magic.”

“The untouchables wouldn’t do
that,” Manoj says. “Magic is power. Why give up more power?”

“Who says they’ve given it up?”
Nili asks. “It is a simple thing to shun magic in public and tend it in
private.”

“Is that what your family did,
Nili?” Kai asks.

She shakes her head. “My family
is not of the untouchable caste,” she says. “I’ve only been an untouchable
since I was scarred. My family very much believes that magic is evil.”

“The priests are the ones who are
so adamant about that,” Faaris says. “Why would the priesthood align with the
untouchables?”

I stroke Nili’s scarred cheek.
“Because every single person, no matter their station, is one of the gods’
creatures,” I say.

Manoj snorts. “But the priests
are not untouchables. In fact, they are above nobles. Why give up that power?”

“Can’t a person just want to do
what’s right in the world?” Nili asks.

Manoj shakes his head. “You have
taught me many things, Nilaruna, but politics is what I know. And men, no
matter what their station, will kill for power.”