The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (8 page)
Read The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) Online
Authors: Andrea Ring
I wipe my tears and blow my nose on the edge of my tunic.
Kai doesn’t hate me. He understands.
That is the greatest gift I’ve been given as a father.
“Shiva, damn it, don’t keep me
waiting!” I scream into the air.
Shiva appears before me with a
bow. “Have a care, my king. I may be required to do your bidding, but
disrespect me, and I will keep you waiting for an eternity.”
“If you think you can bully me,
Shiva, you can’t. I’m about to die. Your threats mean nothing.”
“As long as Kai lives, I can
bully you. We both know it.”
I sigh and pace the room. Why
must Shiva make everything so difficult?
“Fine. Status report.”
“Kai is off to Dabani with Manoj
and Faaris. They’re well and will face no trouble on their travels. The
problems will begin when they reach the village.”
“And you’re sure this girl is the
right one? This Nilaruna?”
Shiva grins. “You asked me to
test Kai. You knew you were dying, and you didn’t think the kingdom of Jatani
would accept him as king easily, since he’s been in no war campaigns, slain no
dragons, rescued no kittens from trees. You wanted me to make him a hero. And I
shall.”
The pulsing headache I always
have now blooms into a fierce throb. I long to hold my head in my hands and
squeeze the pain away, but I will not do that in front of Shiva.
But he knows anyway. He nods
sympathetically.
“You have about fifty-two days,
give or take a few hours. But you won’t be conscious after forty-five.”
I nod. “I’ve had a second bed
placed in Silvia’s room. Seems fitting that we die together.”
“So you’ve decided on murder for
your wife,” Shiva says. It’s a statement. He already knows what I plan to do.
“It’s mercy, not murder,” I say.
And I know that this is true. If I’m not here to see to my wife’s care, I will
end her life.
Not her life — that was
taken years ago. Her existence.
Shiva kicks at the corner of the
carpet. “Not every decision has been made,” he says. “There’s room for error,
or disaster even. I can’t stop it.”
“I know,” I say. “We have free
will. You only know the future once a decision has been made. We’ve been over
this.”
“Kai is contemplating falling in
love with his new bride,” Shiva says. “That will complicate things. Love makes
people do strange things, and I may not know the future until it happens.”
“That’s good,” I say. “Love is
good. I wish I’d been capable of it from the beginning with Silvia. It may have
changed her fate. And mine.”
“You’ve finally figured that out,
huh?”
“Oh, I’ve known it for years,” I
say wearily. “I’ve just finally learned to admit it.”
I give him two gold coins and ask
him if he is acquainted with the Nandals.
“You mean Ravi Nandal? He is our
healer, the main one, I mean. Are you injured, my lord?”
I explain that I’m looking for
his daughter, Nilaruna, who volunteered to be the new Go-Between.
The farmer visibly shudders. “We
don’t speak about her, sir. She’s unclean.”
Manoj and Faaris both turn wide
eyes on me. I school my face. “Unclean? In what way?”
I must have uttered my words more
forcefully than I intended, because the farmer cowers and goes down on his
knees, head bent.
“I’m sorry, my prince, truly
sorry. I did not mean to offend you by speaking of an untouchable.”
“I’m not offended,” I say, “I
simply wish for more information. Tell me what you know.”
“She is deformed, your highness,”
he says, eyes still on the ground. “There was a fire. Her older brother died in
it. Nilaruna was burned to a blackened…well, uh, she was burned, sir, over half
her body.”
“When was this?” I demand.
“Oh, five cycles…no, longer.
Maybe seven or eight cycles ago.”
“How deformed is she?” Faaris
asks, and I glare at him. I want to know this as well, but I never would have
asked it.
“We don’t look at untouchables,
sir, I mean, we’re not supposed to look.”
“But you’ve looked,” I say.
The farmer shifts uncomfortably.
“My daughter took a fever last year…we went to Ravi…Nilaruna was doing chores
nearby.” He lifts his head and looks me in the eye. “It’s difficult not to
look.”
“I understand,” I say. “I will
forget the indiscretion if you will answer my companion’s question.”
“Half of her is perfect,” he
whispers. “Her good side was facing me when we entered, and I wondered. This is
the girl who almost died in a fire? She looks healthy, pretty even. She has
unusual eyes, maybe she’s a cousin…but then she turned. Her other half is
melted, literally. It’s…no one should see that.”
I sit back in my saddle and
consider. Shiva sent me to marry an untouchable? This is unacceptable!
Ridiculous!
“I thank you, sir, for the
information. Could you direct me to the Nandal home?”
He gives me directions, and I
toss a few more coins his way. “Speak of this to no one. I expect your
silence.”
The farmer nods, thanks us
profusely, and goes back to his field.
The three of us continue on to
the inn. We don’t exchange a single word.
***
I
fling myself on the thin mattress while Manoj and Faaris make up pallets on the
floor.
“We should speak of this, Kai,”
Manoj says, breaking our silence. “You cannot marry an untouchable.”
“She was in a fire, Manoj, and
she survived,” Faaris says. “Have you ever been burned? It’s the greatest pain
I’ve ever felt, and I only burned my elbow once when I fell into a fire pit as
a kid. I’ve been sliced by a sword, had broken bones, been gored in the thigh
by a boar…she must be strong. Burns over half her body…it’s tough to imagine.”
Manoj’s eyes harden. “It doesn’t
matter. An untouchable will not be accepted by the kingdom. If the whole
purpose of this mission is to ensure stability, I find it counter to our plans
to put an untouchable on the throne. Every citizen will riot!”
“It’s all in how you sell it,”
Faaris says, lying down and propping his hands beneath his head. “We paint her
as a hero, a survivor, someone who is a fighter. Her situation is tragic, not
grotesque. How can you not see that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I see,”
Manoj says. “A good politician takes his personal feelings out of it. He serves
the will of the people. And I repeat, the people will not support this.”
“Screw the people,” Faaris says.
“I’ve never understood the untouchable thinking anyway. Why is someone who does
the jobs that need to be done, or who is deformed, less of a person?”
“Debating the merits of the
untouchable class is beside the point,” Manoj says. “Our culture is what it is
at the moment. If Kai wants to change it in the future, he is welcome to try.
But we must deal with reality.”
“What do you think, Kai?” Faaris
asks.
I close my eyes. “I think you’re
both right. If Nilaruna is the person I need, then the fact that she’s an
untouchable is crucial. She is strong. She is a fighter. She understands a
large portion of society that I cannot begin to comprehend.”
“But?” Faaris says.
“But acceptance of her won’t come
easily. And as for me…I admit this only to you, my two closest friends in the
world…I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“No one would blame you, Kai, for
choosing someone else,” Manoj says softly. “No one except your father knows
your intentions here. You can choose any bride in the world — that is
what Shiva said.”
“But he handed you this girl on a
golden plate,” Faaris reminds me. “You cannot ignore that.”
“Maybe Shiva is testing you,”
Manoj says. “Even Shiva would not expect you to go through with this marriage.”
“I have to leave Shiva’s motives
out of this,” I say. “I cannot fathom them, and neither can you. First, I want
to live, and I want to live to take my crown. But to do that, I have to take an
innocent life. Plenty of rulers would have no problem with that, but I do. I
will murder when it’s just, or on the battlefield, or to defend myself, but
this…I cannot just pick an innocent girl and lead her to her death. So my
options are limited.”
“It’s not you who would be
murdering her,” Manoj says.
“Not my hand, but I would be
using her as a human shield. No.”
“Then you’re seriously
contemplating marrying this girl?” he asks.
I sigh. “I don’t know yet. I have
to see her. I have to meet her. My heart will have to make the decision.”
Faaris chuckles. “If your manhood
stands at attention, you’ll marry her.”
I throw my pillow at him.
“They will behead me if they
catch us,” I say. “I hardly think they’ll let you move into the palace if I’m
in pieces.”
Uncle’s face turns purple. “You
will be on that boat at dark, if I have to carry you myself.” He smooths a hand
over his silver hair and grins. “We’re so close, dear Saphala. So very close.
This is your dream, remember.”
How could I forget? I was shipped
here to my uncle’s in my sixteenth cycle because girls from Dabani do not
become princesses. I had to shrug off my common village mantle and take on the
trappings of noblewoman. Not too difficult, I admit, for me. I couldn’t wait to
leave the little hole I grew up in.
But six cycles of planning and
training, and what does it come to? A girl from Dabani must be the prince’s
bride! Had I stayed and simply trusted in the gods, I might well be a princess already.
But the prince has not yet chosen
a wife. There is still time.
If I can get back to Dabani and
convince everyone I never left.
“Father is not the actor you seem
to think him,” I say. “He cannot look anyone in the eye. He speaks only to
those of our caste.”
“All the better,” my uncle says.
“He won’t have to lie. No one will be seeking him out to ask questions.”
I knew this, but I’d hoped my
uncle didn’t. Mingling with untouchables is not something my uncle has ever
done. At least not since I’ve known him.
My father, though born of noble
blood, actually chose to become a fisherman. Something about the sea and the
wind and the salt air…who cares why he did it, the point is that he denied me
my nobility. I had every right to beautiful clothes and powerful connections,
and instead he doomed my sister and me to the untouchable’s lot in Dabani. I
have less than no respect for the man.
Still, he plans to see this plot
through. He gave me the opportunity to come here, to Bhutan, to my noble roots.
Too bad he was the reason I wasn’t here from birth.
And I’m not convinced this will
work. Yes, I mean to try, no matter what I tell my uncle. I’m simply managing
his expectations. My overconfidence has gotten me into trouble more than a few
times with him, and I’ve learned.
Let him mull over the possibility of failure. Let him put additional
measures in place to ensure success. Let him blame my father if this all goes
to hell.
Because if it does, it will not
be through any fault of my own. I was born to this. This is my purpose.
Princess Saphala
. I will be known
throughout the kingdom for my fashion sense and quiet dignity. I will be
beloved by all.
I will it so.
“You say he has proper clothes
waiting, yes? Because I will crawl out of that boat stinking of fish.”
“All is prepared and every
contingency has been planned for, girl,” my uncle says. “The only thing left
for you to do is to pack your meager bag. No clothes, only what can be
concealed beneath your dress. Haady will come for you within the hour.”
He searches my face for signs of
cooperation. I give him a curt nod.
“Good. Then I wish you farewell.
Do not disappoint me.”
I smile, and the scar tissue
around my mouth pulls tight, but I ignore it. For the first time, it doesn’t
bother me. I’m scarred, but I’m still worthy. Somebody loves me.
I smile uncomfortably wide, and
run to the nearest group of flowers. I pluck half a dozen and race to the next
bunch.
By the time I hit the main road
into town, I’ve got an armful of daffodils.
Which will look odd when I arrive
home, but maybe that’s good. Maybe it’s good that my parents see how happy I
am.
I admit, I wasn’t very careful in
the field. I saw the flowers and forgot about my safety. But I vow not to make
that mistake again.
Dawn arrives as I walk along the
road. I pick up my pace, sure that people are already awake and will soon begin
to emerge from their homes. When I reach the town square, I stop to take a deep
breath. I can smell bread baking, the slight mustiness of the central water
well…even the dust from the roads has a smell. It’s never meant much to me
before, but then again, I’ve never left the village before my excursion to
Maja’s cave. But now? I breathe the smells in, and they leave me shaking. This
is home.
Can I be at home in the
mountains? In a sparse cave?
Yes. If it means Maja is there
with me.
I look down the road to the east.
Past the candlemaker, past the perfumer, and a league further at the top of the
hill sits the Temple. It is the grandest building in the village, all black
granite and polished white marble. The rising sun is directly behind it from my
view, backlighting the Temple brilliantly. It seems to glow from within.
Sanji and Larraj are probably tucked
snuggly in their beds there. But Sanji said he will be visiting my home today.
I will see them soon enough.
I walk around the well and travel
north to my parents’ home.
I hope they are happy that I’ve
returned.
***
I open the door and peek my head in. “Mother?”
She’s hunched over the stove,
stirring a pot of porridge. She startles at my voice and turns. “Nili?”
“It’s me,” I say, entering the
room and closing the door softly behind me. “I’m back.”
She smiles. “Oh, my love, we’ve
been so worried!” She hugs me fiercely and kisses me soundly on the forehead.
“Why are you carrying all these flowers?” She takes them from me without asking
and starts putting them in pots.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” I say.
“There is so much to tell you. I’m happy, Mother. Truly happy for the first
time in ages.”
Mother goes back to her porridge
and tsks at me. “I’m glad you’re happy, but there’s no need to explain. Your
time with Maja is sacred, and you should not speak of it to anyone, not even
me.”
“That’s a stupid rule, and one
even Maja doesn’t expect me to adhere to,” I say. “If the other girls had
spoken up, perhaps they wouldn’t have died.”
Mother frowns. “Those deaths were
tragic,” she says, “but they had nothing to do with their duties as Go-Between.
Do you think your father and I would have allowed you to go if we thought you
were in danger?”
“I’m not in danger from Maja, I
will tell you that,” I say. “But things aren’t right, Mother. We can’t ignore
these deaths. Not if I want to live.”
“It’s between you and the Protector,”
she says. “I won’t listen to another word.”
I gulp. “You don’t care about my
safety?”
“Don’t twist my words,” she says.
“High Priest Sanji went over the protocol with us. I know the rules. Just
because you’ve always been a bit of a free spirit does not mean I will help you
bring down the wrath of the gods upon us. Hold your tongue, if you know what’s
good for you.”
I stare at her, head bent over
the steaming pot.
My mother is traditional and
conservative, particularly in public. I understand that following the rules in
front of others is important to her.
But my mother is different in
private. She harasses my father. She knows how to manipulate him to get what
she wants. She’s always encouraged me to stand up for what I believe and to
fight for it.
Something here is amiss.
“What did the high priest say?” I
ask.
“He just told us your duties and
what would be expected of you. And he made clear the penalties for
disobedience.”
Ah. “What penalties?”
“Shiva’s anger, foremost. Nili,
you know about Shiva’s anger, better than most, perhaps.”
“Shiva was fair in my dealings
with him,” I say. “More fair than any of our neighbors have ever been. He saved
my life. Why do you fear him?”
She opens her mouth to respond
but quickly closes it. “Do not draw me into this argument,” she says. “Do not
make me say something I will regret.”
“Shiva has better things to do
than to listen to our conversations,” I say.
Then a voice from behind me
startles us both. “Oh, do I?”
***
My mother immediately falls to her knees and prostrates herself. I
simply stare at her.
“Shiva, oh Great One,” she
whispers into the floor. “You honor us with your presence.”
Shiva actually winks at me. I
stifle a giggle.
“Rise, dear woman,” he says. “I
require some of Nilaruna’s time, and you must make yourself scarce. I will
ensure that the, uh, porridge does not burn.”
Mother stands with her head still
bent and eyes still glued to the floor. “Of course, My Lord. Your will is ours.
I will retire to the yard.”
She turns without an upward
glance and exits the back door.
“Lovely woman,” Shiva says,
pulling out a stool and sitting on it. “But not quite what I expected as the
mother of Nilaruna Nandal.”
My cheeks burn at this. Perhaps I
didn’t put my best foot forward during our last and only meeting.
“I apologize, Shiva,” I say with
a bow. “You caught me at a difficult time last we met.”
“So we’re blaming your behavior
on pain and stress, then,” he says. “All along I thought you were a
natural-born rebel.”
“Tell me the right answer,” I
say. “Should I be naturally rebellious or not?”
Shiva laughs. “I was right. I
knew it.” He swipes at his eyes. “You are entertaining, little Nilaruna.”
“But surely you didn’t come all
this way just to be entertained.”
“You’d be surprised,” he says.
“But in this case, no. I have business to attend to.”
“Business?” I say. “Is Maja
well?”
Shiva waves a hand in the air.
“He’s fine. Same as always. Well, not always. It seems the man is in love.”
My heart swells. “So you consider
him a man?”
“Of course. But he is not the
reason I am here. You know that this is the cycle where Prince Kai must marry.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Prince Kai?
Yes. That’s why the village built the barracks for all the girls. So that he
can find a bride.”
Shiva rubs his chin. “And you
know why he seeks a bride from the village?”
I nod. “A god, and it was
probably you, told the king that an assassin will come by boat this cycle. So
the king closed the ports. A bride from elsewhere in the kingdom is not
forthcoming. So the king decreed that Prince Kai must choose from Dabani.”
“You are well versed in the
happenings of the kingdom. Good. So it will be no surprise when Prince Kai asks
for your hand.”
“Uh, what?”
“He will arrive today. He needs a
strong woman to help him thwart the assassination attempt. He has chosen you.”
“Me? But he doesn’t even know me!
Why would he choose me? I’m an untouchable!”
“A minor obstacle,” Shiva says.
“I told him you are the right woman. You will become his bride, and you will
see him take the crown, and you will thwart the assassination attempt on his
life.”
“But…but I can’t. I’m going to
marry Maja. I love him!”
“And he loves you,” Shiva says.
“Truly. Love is a remarkable thing. It can move mountains.”
“I can’t…Shiva, no. Please. There
are hundreds of girls who would give their right arms to become queen someday.
Beautiful girls. Prince Kai doesn’t need me.”
“But he does. The gods have seen
it. You’re the one who can save his life and prevent civil war in Jatani.”
I slowly slide to the floor. My
knees suddenly stop holding me up.
“I’m not a warrior,” I whisper.
“The scar tissue prevents a great deal of my movement. I have no hope of
stopping an assassin.”
“But your strength of character
will allow you to overcome any physical disability you have,” he says. “You
will do this. And you will most likely die in the attempt.”
“You’re asking me to give my life
for the prince?”
“And for the kingdom. Someone
must do it. And it shall be you.”
Tears leak from my eyes. “No. I
will not. You ask too much, too high a price, even for Jatani. Even if…even if
I had the will to do it, I don’t know if I could. I’m not brave.”
Shiva stands and goes to the
stove. He stirs the porridge. “Let me sweeten the deal, then,” he says. “If you
do this, if you marry the prince and save our kingdom, I will release Maja from
his spell. He will no longer be a dragon. He will no longer be stuck on his
land. He can go back to his normal life.”
Without me
,
I think bitterly. But how selfish of me. I have a chance to give him his life
back. To give him family and community and a real home.
But without me.
“I need to think about it,” I
say. “I need some time.”
Shiva grabs an apple from a bowl
on our rough-hewn dining table. He takes a loud bite. “Prince Kai is on his
way. You should have about two hours to decide.”