The Heart's Ashes (17 page)

“
Nope.” His easy smile lit his eyes. “And, like our bite to a
human, theirs was also fatal.”

“
To a human?”

“
No. To a vampire.”

“
But—you can’t die.”

“
Anymore
.” His word carried so much
weight, making it seem like an explanation.

“
Why not anymore?”

“
There was a family feud—Drake was cast off the throne, Lilith
was given power. So, Drake killed her, took back the throne and
swore death to all her descendants.”

“
Because of a feud?”

“
Yep. And it took nearly another two centuries to wipe out her
bloodline—leaving only those who were created by the
Created.”

I ran those
two words over in my head. “Created by the Created?”

“
Yeah. If a pure blood bit a human, they’d still have the
ability to kill a vampire, but whoever that Created vampire then
created would only have the ability to paralyse us.”

“
Why would you leave them alive then?”

“
The entire Lilithian Order is under control of the World
Council. We send vampires there who’ve been very bad.”

“
So, these remaining Lilithians, they can create vampires that
drink vamp blood, but can’t kill you?” I confirmed.

“
Yup.”

“
And they’re immortal, too?”

“
And un-ageing.”

“
Does one have to have the right gene to become a
Lilithian?”

“
Nope.” Eric’s eyes lit up.

“
Then.” My heart dropped into my stomach. “Why didn’t David
just take me to them in the first place?”

“
Because you didn’t want immortality, and he didn’t know,
before Jason bit you, that you couldn’t be changed into a vampire.
He’d rather you a vampire than a
Lilithian
.” His lip curled up on the
word. “Vampires hate Lilithians—and it takes an exceptionally rare
situation to get approval to create one. The World Council keeps
them under control. They’re dangerous.”

“
Why? Why do you hate them?”

“
Because they’re a different species. Not pure; devoid of true
vampire nature. They can hurt vampires, Amara—really badly, and
they don’t approve of our lifestyle.”

“
What, killing humans for food?”

“
Yeah. They think we should be able to control it—leave the
humans alive.” Eric laughed.

“
I agree. That was one of the reasons I didn’t want to be a
vampire.” I breathed out, staring at the bedroom door—my gaze
narrowing. “Why didn’t David tell me about this when I woke from
the coma?”

“
Well, he didn’t have approval then. They’ll only allow it if
true vampirism fails, and even then—not very often. Besides, you
told him you were marrying Mike. Word has it, he came for you—on
the day of your wedding—and you turned him away.”

The world grew
large and shrunk back in again. Sound came rushing through my ears
like it was being filtered through a tiny pin. “Why didn’t he just
tell me that? I would have gone with him.”

“
I don’t know,” Eric mused, “Guess we’ll never know. But, is
that what you’d want? To be Lilithian? You’d be immortal, but you’d
crave David’s blood, you’d want to drain him—hurt him?”

“
Hmm. Not when you put it like that.”

“
You wouldn’t be able to bite him, either; the venom would
paralyse him in a world of agony. I’ve never experienced it, but
I’ve heard it’s the most painful lockdown a vampire can
suffer.”

My lip
quivered a little and my eyes filled with hot tears. “I just wanted
a life with him, that was all.”

Eric reached
out and touched my shoulder. “He tried for that, too—the first time
he came before the Council, and they denied it.”

“
Yes, but now he’s taken leave anyway, hasn’t he? Only he’s
not here.”

“
He thinks you’re happily married.”

My chin rolled to my chest.
Oh
.

“
Besides, if he does come back, he faces trial.” Eric sighed
and ran his hand through the front of his hair, flicking it back.
“Look, David’s all about the law. He’s majored in vampire law, and
human law, in several categories, but this hurt him. When justice
failed for him, he lost all faith—in everything. He may not even
come back.”

“
Can’t
you
take me to the Lilithians? Get me changed? Then
I
can find
him.”

Eric laughed
aloud. “Ha! No, they’d trap me and use me for their experiments
before I even made it to the door. They have strict rules, Amara.
Vampires who stroll onto their turf, unapproved, become their
property—and they hate vampires.”

“
What, the Council would just let them have you?”

“
Yes. It’s an insurance policy—the Council’s way of keeping
vampires from mingling with Lilithians.”

“
Why?”

“
Because they’re not like us, Amara,” he said, as if I were
like him. “Vampires and Lilithians don’t mix. It’s the law,
and
our
desire.”

“
Well, so you can’t take me to the Lilithians, but, can’t you
take me to the Council so I can talk to them?”

“
Amara, I’m staying out of this. I’m sorry. I can be your
friend, but everyone who spoke up or got involved in this somehow
has become an outcast. This has caused a big divide in the vampire
world. David was very,
very
loved. No one’s taking it well. If I simply waltz
into the World Council and beg them to have you changed, they’ll
probably kill you—just to save David the anguish of wanting
you.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes, it’s not a joke, Amara. These are council leaders. Not
reasonable vampires. The only reason they even saw David was
because he’s been a member of the Council for more than fifty
years.”

“
So that’s it, then? There was hope for me, but now that’s
gone, too?”

“
I’m searching for him, Amara. I really am.” His eyes focused
and he breathed out through his nose. “If I find him, I’ll tell him
you’re still here in the U. S., and that you want to be
changed.”

“
He thinks I’m in Perth, too?”

“
Of course. He left the day of your wedding.”

“
Right.” I slapped my forehead with my hand. Information
overload. I need to process. “So, he left without approval. What
will they do to him if they catch him?”

Eric scratched
his chin. “I’m not sure. By law, he should be in big trouble. But
Arthur wants those laws changed. The way it stands, right now, if
they catch him, he goes to the Lilithians—they’ll torture him and
drain him—”

“
Stop.” I raised a hand, washing that image from my mind.
“Eric. Please. I’ve had enough.”

“
Don’t like the thought of him in pain, huh?”

“
Have you ever been in love, Eric?” I turned to face him, a
hint of challenge in my tone.

“
Once.”

“
Then you know what it’s like to think of them in
pain.”

“
Yes, but, a human’s love has no measure against a vampire’s.
You don’t feel things the way we do—so I don’t really get your
whole depression thing over David being gone.”

“
I’m not depressed!” I stood up. “I’m just miserable and want
to die.”

Eric laughed, wiping his thumb across his chin as he stood
beside me. “Well, misery seems to be presenting itself on your
skin, girl. Even
I’ve
noticed how thin you are, and I’m not really one for caring,
but—” he pinched my bony elbow in his fingertips, “I think you
ought to start eating.”

“
I eat.”

“
Not enough.”

“
It’s not your business, so stay out of it.”

He grabbed my
elbow a little firmer until I looked into his soft smile. “If you
want to be blood-sharing buddies, it is my business, because I
don’t want sour-tasting blood.”

I snatched my
arm back and felt my wafer-thin shoulders rise. “Really? I’d taste
awful if I don’t eat.”

“
Ever had an overcooked steak?” he said. “You’d taste
waterless and salty. Not very appealing.”

“
Good, then I don’t have to worry about Jason coming back for
seconds.”

“
Jason?” Eric’s brow pulled. “You’re not seriously worried
about
him
, are
you?”

“
Maybe. A little.”

“
Aw, kiddo, he’s had his fun with you. Vampires don’t usually
come back to finish off their victims if they survive. It’s just
not in our nature.”

“
And civility is?”

“
Yeah, like ridicule is in yours.”

A smile tugged
the corner of my lip.

“
Look, Amara, I don’t have a lot of time—I have to check in at
nine, and blood drinking can take time. Are we gonna do this, or
what?”

“
I—” I shouldn’t. “Feeding this addiction’s only gonna make it
worse.”

Eric gently
wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “There’s nothing bad to come
from a blood addiction, Amara. You won’t rob your family and
friends to get cash to buy it; you won’t sit in the corner shaking
when you can’t get it.”

“
No, but I get moody and—”

“
Well, I’ll make sure I’m always around to feed
you.”

“
Like a pet?” I remarked sourly, knowing full well I would
actually agree to that—even if it was degrading.

“
How ‘bout like a friend?”

“
But, what if you bite me—by accident?”

“
That’s a risk I think we’re
both
willing to take.”

He was right;
I wanted him like that block of Mike’s chocolate he tried to hide
in the fridge drawer—the block that he’ll discover later is no
longer there. “Can I ask you something?”

“
Shoot.”

“
Why is it you can’t leave my kind alive when you feed from
them, but you can share blood? Isn’t it the same thing?”

“
Ha! No. Not even close.” He wiped the spit that came out with
his laugh on the edge of his sleeve. “Blood sharing is intimate,
like giving a massage. Feeding is an entirely different kettle of
fish. We have no control over the kill. It just
happens.”

“
But, won’t drinking my blood force that instinct within
you?”

“
Maybe,” he said. “I’ve never done it before, Amara, so I
can’t say. But I’ve never tried to kill a vampire when I’ve shared
blood in the past.”

“
But you sleep with them after?”

“
Well, I wouldn’t say there’s an awful lot of
sleeping
going
on.”

“
You know what I mean.”

“
Look, Ara—” I looked up to the strange sound of Eric using my
proper name. “I’ll be careful with you, okay. I got a lot to lose
if I’m not. So stop worrying and just sit down on the bed so I can
have my naughty way with you.”

I glanced at
the bed, then back at Eric, whose fingers tapered around the cuff
of my sleeve, rolling it up my forearm.

“
We’ll start with the wrist, all right? It’s less
intimate.”

With shaky
breath, feeling the tingle of tension—excited tension—all over my
body, I said, “As opposed to where?”

His lips
stopped on my flesh, his icy cool warning me of the hunger deep
within him. “Use your imagination.”

A wave of heat
rushed through my veins, gathering at the pressure of his
fingernail on my skin, and all the images of David flashed into my
head at once; what would he think to know I was sharing this with
another vampire—another man, to be exact? Would he care? Would he
want me to stop, would he want me to do it—to be with Eric in the
way we both knew we would after I drank his blood?

Eric,
obviously sensing my tension, watched me, his nail hesitating over
my skin. “I just realised...I can’t cut your vein. Humans die if
they bleed out, don’t they?”

“
David only ever cut my skin.”

“
Would you rather I cut through the scar—or make a new
one?”

The idea of
another scar on my body made me cringe.

But if he
recut one already owned, which one would it be? The one that was
made out of love—the sacred discolouring of skin that belonged to
David’s lips—or the painful memory etched in pink on my wrist,
neck, rib and upper thigh from the tortures of vengeance?

Without a
second more thought, I untucked my top from my jeans and revealed
the milky skin on the curve of my waist. “Here.”

“
I get my own special spot, huh?”

“
Yes, and you better hurry before I change my mind.” I could
feel it slipping—the need, the craving, the want for his blood—the
desire to give him mine. It was like that scarf you wanted to buy
on impulse, but never regretted leaving on the sale
rack.

My eyelids
fluttered closed and I held onto the resolve to satiate my
addiction. “Eric!” I said as his lips touched my skin.

“
What?”

“
Just—just wai—”