The Huntress Book 1 Memories (11 page)

“But I feel your heart beating and I know
what this means. So do not worry, I will not take advantage of your
dizziness, because I know from experience that the way your heart
beats is warning me that you consider that things have gone too far
and you do not like it anymore.”

God! It never seemed to me that Dane would be
so obtuse! He takes his hand off my face and he gives further back.
Obtuse, indeed! I stick my mouth to his mouth. Or maybe it was near
his mouth, I’m not too sure, because I no longer have a good sense
of direction.

“Patricia!” he says with surprise.

His tone resembles a growl now.

He keeps me away fiercely enough. His fingers
on my face will leave me bruises, I’m sure. But as well I know that
he never intended to hurt me; and, comparing his fingers with my
dad’s fist, this is nothing. I see how he holds his breath. His
jaws and his Adam's apple move and shake spasmodically. His irises
sparkle.

“That’s not right…” I hear him moaning.
“That's not right at all. This isn’t you; you’re not controlling
your senses!”

He speaks quickly, as if talking more to
himself, as if he wants to convince himself of something. So he
releases me, and he step backward. Then he turns back to me and he
takes a deep breath, as if he would clear his head. But I'm
stubborn. I stand too. In fact, more I lurched. And of course, I
stumble. If it hadn't been for Dane’s arms, I surely would fell
down. And here we are now, one on top of the other, I am over him.
I feel as though I've been dropped on a concrete floor. Dane’s not
breathing again, but I feel that he was shaking.

“Getting cold?” I tease him.

“As a matter of fact,” he answers to me
pretty rigid, “even if I would have been cold, now I'd have been
burned out from too much heat.”

And his voice is a snarl again. But, instead
his voice put me on my guard, it actually makes my heart beat more
powerfully, and my body even warmer. It gives me the feeling that
I'd like to be closer to him; so I entwine take my fingers after
his neck and I bubble until I find a more comfortable position in
his arms. Danes tremble is increasingly louder.

“What is it?” I ask him puzzled.

But he does not reply than a short moan. He
was like almost unable to even move.

“Dane?”

He swallows with great difficulty, and he
clears his throat a few times until he manages to speak.

“Listen... Patricia... I... Those like me....
I... We.... We have different reactions than ordinary people. We
respond differently to stimuli.... Our feelings... My senses.....
Are much inflated than those of others…”

I smile with delight. I think I know what he
means. He means he is turned on. I'm not one hundred percent sure,
but I'd have the courage to bet on that. Well, now and I have
enough courage to do enough like to stick my lips to his lips
again. I hear him long exhaling, all the air inside him leaving his
body. However, he pulls away from me.

”No, Patricia, this is bad.”

His voice is tormented, and me, as a jerk,
I'm glad of his ordeal, and I am satisfied. Our faces, though not
touching because his arms keep me away, are close enough that I can
get my tongue out to lick his lips. Dane reacts as he would be
electrocuted.

“This is not right.” he repeated like a
litany.

Then I lick his lips again.

“Ah…” he moans. “This is not right. This is
not good. This is… Oh, my God, this is so good! So good!”

And yet, I know that if Dane would really
want, he would have stopped me. Only that he didn't want that
enough. And in that moment I didn't want to be stopped. I don't
want him to stop; I didn't want us to stop.

Dane is moaning again, but with a sound of
capitulation. He pulls me hard next to his cold body. Although I
always perceived him as having a very rigid and tough body, Dane
was simply stiff as a rock. He was tenser than the arch stabbing
with an arrow.

And yet, his mouth is over my mouth. I open
my lips. The smell of his mouth is mind-boggling, pleasing, and
aromatic. Then his cold tongue, rapacious, wraps around my tongue.
In fact, my imagination was poor in comparison with the reality of
his taste and texture. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate. This is
the only association that I can do now. Although there are many
unimaginable tastes that I taste. I stick all my fingers in his
hair. The heat that I felt so far is nothing, compared to the heat
that passes through me in waves, from head to toe. My heart bumps
like jumping out of my chest.

Then his chest raises a growl. I do not know
when we changed positions. Now I was lying on him, now he sat
upright, my legs encircling his waist. We kiss as if there would
not be tomorrow. Like we've never kissed afterwards. As it would be
the first and also the last kiss we shared.

/’If I only knew…’/

…

…

The heat I feel led me to almost break my
clothes off. Before you realize, I am naked from the waist up.

“No.” he wheezes. “Stop!”

However, he just says that. Because I know
that he doesn't want me to stop. He does not want me to cease to
unbutton his shirt, doesn't want me to stop myself from sticking my
body in his. Yes! The ice of his body feels so good against my
ardor! His moan brings more pain than pleasure. I look at him, and
but his face is frozen in an ecstatic expression. Through the veil
of his eyelashes, his irises shine more orange, more red than
yellow. Instead of being scared, this actually makes me so very
pleased.

It is something to feel that you are the
master of another being. Because I know that at this time, Dane is
all in my power. A terrible sense of total ownership envelops me.
I've never had anything to be only mine, that is new, that has not
belonged to anyone before, and that I do not have to share.

Dane tries to keep me away from him again,
but he does not have, or doesn't want to have strength enough to
stop me.

“Wait, Patricia! Give me a minute!”

But I don't want to give up yet on this sense
of ownership, this feeling of having someone in my domination. And
I know that if I'd give him this minute break he asks for, if I
would let him breathe even more than a second, he would have been
the one who would have pushed me. So I’m fiercer over him. This
sense of a total belonging joins unknown bodily sensations, but so
glowing, that no power on earth could stop me. I stop his words
with my own lips, while I press my thin and naked body against his.
Hearing the sound he makes out of his throat, half human, half
animal, or whatever he is, another thrill passes through me from
head to toe. One that literally takes my mind: one that makes me
lose my control and any balance. I began to lick him and to bite
him wherever my teeth meet his skin that has that divine smell and
taste that I cannot get enough.

“Oh, my God!”

Dane hissed as between agony and ecstasy. And
indeed he agonizes as much as he delights himself. He then holds me
so hard, that he almost leaves me breathless. His teeth stick to my
skin, easily, his tongue tasting me all. He puts his hands over my
very small breasts. I scream. It seems to me that more pleasure
than this kills me. I do not know exactly what we are doing. It
seems that everything at the moment is reduced to sensation, to
instinct. Dane seems that would devour me.

I am so deepen in this passion, with such
lust, that even if he forgets his vows in this moment, I could not
care less. I do not know right now if he wants more to delight his
senses, or he wants more to bite me as to satiate as well a hunger
and terrible lust. But whatever it is, I swear to you, right now
I’m nothing more than an instrument that Dane plays at his sole
discretion. And although I know in a corner of my mind, in a far
corner of my mind, I should be ashamed, I cannot help myself
pulling his clothes, just as I cannot stop taking off mine.

And here we are, ice and fire, Dane and I,
something supernatural, and incomprehensible, with a poor human
being, flesh over flesh, nakedness over nakedness, breathing over
breathing. And everything seems so natural, that I cannot even
remember why I so fiercely rejected before his approach.

For a split second, the thought of him being
a beast or something of the sort replaces the orange, almost red
glances of Dane. And briefly, I repel such closeness between us
with the same intensity with which I wanted it a moment ago. I
realize his grip is painful, as well as tomorrow, I will be full of
bruises and that my own conscience, which now stubbornly quiets,
will defiantly yell at me later. My heart stops for a second, a
second when I push Dane with all my force, and a second in which I
reject him with all my fiber.

But when I look at him - Oh, when I look at
him! - , And I see the orange fire in his pupils, hypnotic, that
demands and obtains my submissiveness, his being is creeping back
into my veins. And again, I am reduced only to instinct.

/’Who could ever believe that in the
midwinter frost, nor a being that was colder than the cold that
surrounded us, I could burn like a flame? And I would have
surrendered to him. I certainly would. I do not know whether or not
now be grateful for the extraordinary control he had. Perhaps, if
he would have made me his things would be different now. I do not
know if worse or better, but certainly different. I know that now.
But then...’/

Then he raised me up in his arms as if I
weighed less than a feather. And his frozen touches that befall me
on every hidden corner of my body make me to cling to him as he is
my life belt in the mid-ocean. Because Dane is now my focus. I'm
not aware of anything else. Neither the frost around, nor that he's
cold as ice; neither of what we are doing, or anything. All I see,
all I feel is reduced only to Dane, to the strength of his body, to
the scent which fills my nostrils, to the way his skin tastes under
my tongue, too, the orange flames of his eyes…

My heart beats so hard that I feel it up to
my pounding ears. I feel like I liquefy inside and my whole being
longs for an ‘I do not know what’, after a pain that would be a
pleasure and fulfillment that only Dane can give me.

However, he strains his body so hard, that he
leaves me the impression that his veins that took to the stand are
going to break. The effort he makes is so great that a loud
agonizing sound leaves his lips. And then, with me in her arms, he
jumps into the ice water.”

I feel that my heart stops. My lungs are
filled with such a low temperature that can no longer breathe. All
those wonderful sensations disappear, their place being taken by a
frozen shock. My mind is clear. And with clearing my mind, the
shame that only a few moments ago I imagined, came. I make a move
to get rid of Dane. Because he still holds me in his arms.

“Don’t.” he says softly. “I won’t let you go.
And no matter how hard you're struggling I just won’t do that. All
that you will be able to do will be hurting yourself.”

I leave my head down, and in front of my
eyes, his white, smooth, beautiful chest appears, as if carved. So
I am more than aware of our nakedness, which does nothing but to
further increase my embarrassment. Dane puts his chin on top of my
head. It is a little better than to have to look him in his eyes. I
say in my mind all sorts of invectives against myself. However, I
cannot turn back the clock, and I cannot withdraw anything I did.
All I have to do is to assume responsibility for my actions. I take
a quick pick at him I'm ready to actually bite him if he makes any
inappropriate remarks.

“So… what do you say? Will you come tomorrow
to meet my family?”

His question is so misplaced in the context
in which we find ourselves that I burst out in laughter
unwillingly. Embarrassment disappears as if by magic. And as once
the acknowledging that I still was still in Dane’s arms. Only that
now I am vvvvvvvvery cold. Enough to start chattering my teeth. Of
course, it’s not also his case.

Coming out with me out of the water, and
before I should be ashamed, he starts to rub my body with his
clothing, then he dresses me up like a doll, with my clothes.

“I won’t drink champagne in my whole life.” I
say.

He looks at me suddenly and seriously.

“I thought you would react like this once you
have recovered. You still react better than I hoped for. And I know
that you are blaming me for what just happened. I might say that
I'm sorry, but I’m not. That's it. I can't help myself for not
being sorry. I'm sure you are for both of us.”

I don't even know what to say, because I know
somehow that he is right in what he says, although not entirely.
Then his eyes darkened. He brushed a finger over my face.

“I’ve caused you bruises.” he says, regret
could easily be read both in his voice, as well as in his eyes.
“Forgive me. Forgive me for that, if you can. But you know, if that
helps you, that for me it was incredible. The most perfect moment
of my entire existence.”

Without any embarrassment and in slow
gestures he puts on his wet clothes. I did not look at him, even if
a few minutes ago I was avidly curious about the way he looked
like. So I turned back. I then felt his presence behind me,
although I have not heard when he approached. He puts his hands on
my shoulders. I jump. He stiffens, but he doesn’t let go of me.

“I've tried not to let myself rules by my
instincts. I tried to stop it before it begins. I am to be despised
for being so weak, for not being able to control myself as much as
I would like. As I told you, my senses are much inflated compared
to yours. My reactions are much, much faster, and much, much more
intense. But you know what? Although I look so weak, I realized I,
in fact, am very strong. And not because I am, but because you make
me so. There was a moment when I have oscillated between my desire
to harm you and the wish to make you mine for forever. It would
have been wrong any decision I would be taking. So I was, in fact
the two times more powerful, because I have done nothing of all
this.”