The Huntress Book 1 Memories (8 page)

Although I do not like to hear him talk like
that and that I only half understand what he meant, I realize,
however, that he filed an effort. I raise my hand and I put it on
his shoulder. It's surprising how high he is, although I'm not
quite a dwarf.

“Come on…” I'm trying to joke. “This is all
childish. We are like children.”

He turns to face me.

“Neither you, or I, is a child. Or perhaps,
in some respects, you are even more child than many children. In
others, you are older than the elders. But I... I am no longer a
child.”

He gives me a long, deep, sharp glance, from
my head to toe.

“See?” he asks me. “I just looked, that's
all. Nothing more, nothing dangerous, nothing indecent,
nothing.”

“Yes, I know, I just...”

“You just do not like it.”

“Sorry.”

I don't even know why I apologize. I think
that I apologize for the pain that I feel he emanated and which I
make him feel. He puts his hands in his pockets. The unpleasant
silence dissipates with the passing time. Although I wouldn't get
off of me that dress for the world, I already froze.

“I will give you the dress back now.” I say
slowly.

“But I'd like you to keep it.”

“Believe me,” I smile “you would better
preserve it. It would be a shame to destroy it.”

I'm going back to the place where I left my
clothes, which now are bark frozen. Then I think of something.
Unexpectedly. As a stroke of brilliance. As a lightning strike.
Under the impetus of moment which not even under a gun threat I
could have ever imagined, I stick my frozen lips to his cheek.

I feel how he stones. First, with frightful
rapidity, he catches my arms. It's a split second of hesitation in
his gesture, as if he wants to get away from me. Through in his
eyes, an orange light goes on, almost incandescent, that scares me.
But not enough. When I want to take my lips of his cheek, his face
is moving sideways and he sticks his lips to mine. My heart is
pounding, and I feel my pulse in my eardrum. Like he would be blown
heat in my veins. And under the heavy snow, a poor, thin girl,
wearing a princess dress, and shod in sneakers, gets her first
kiss, for Christmas.

Perhaps there is some truth in what they say.
You know, that this time of Christmas is magical. Perhaps, indeed,
wishes come true. Maybe it's our fault we do not have enough
courage to make wishes.

Dane's arms hold me, pull me over him. Then
he moves his lips in a way as if they sip mine. My lips are frozen.
So are his. When ice sticks ice, you know that the harder they
stick together, harder they detach. Maybe this is the reason why my
mouth straggles from his so difficult.

None of us speaks. While I departed from him
to change, I hear him breathing hard, like a man who is very tired,
or who has made a very big effort. Yet, when I get back with the
dress and put in its box, Dane seems as always.

“Anyway”, I say clearing my throat of
embarrassment “thank you.”

“No.” he said, raising a hand to protest. “I
came here hoping to give you pleasure, hoping to fulfill your
desire. And yet, it was you who made me the best gift ever. If I
say it's the most wonderful Christmas of my entire life, you might
think I'm lying. But believe me when I tell you it's true.”

I didn't know what to say. I nodded my head
in silence. And we've stayed both so, next one to another, watching
the water, which twinkled innocently on snowflakes, while,
inadvertently or not, the back of our hands touched.

A couple of days have passed since Christmas.
And although I assure you that I actually went mad with boredom, I
have not ventured to go to the river. For fear of facing Dane. You
know, then, the kiss - accidentally happened, I think - it did not
create such an embarrassment. But as time passed, this feeling grew
until it got huge proportions. So huge, that the thought of facing
Dane fills me with immeasurable embarrassment.

“You really need to wash these…”

My mother's voice is creeping insidiously
into my mind. I look at the pile of clothes resentful. Sure! I was
expected that sometime to have to go to the river. But I was
thinking that more time will pass before that. I sigh. I almost
opened my mouth to refuse to do this. I raise my head to my mother
and I change my mind instantly. Instead of the original aversion to
the idea of going to the river, now I get a feeling of panic. My
mother has her face badly drawn. Her eyes were clogged in the
orbits. She's all skin and bones. Her skin has a yellowish, deadly
pallor. She coughs again. That's a whooping cough that cannot be
stopped.

“Would you just stop that noise?”

My dad’s voice is heard, screaming at my
mother.

“People are trying to sleep over here!”

My skin crinkles of anger, especially when I
saw my mother trying, unsuccessfully, to refrain her cough. The
attempt to refrain more, the worse she comes to coughing. Dad roars
again.

“Did you hear?”

She's very sick. She should go to the doctor.
But we are not among those with insurance. No one will look at her.
In the best case, they will not take notice. Worst, they will
grimace in disgust and throw us out. I don’t even have to think
about pills. For those we need money, and lots of them. I better go
do the laundry.

The fear that I would have met Dane
diminishes as time passes. Usually, as soon as I got here, he
arrives as well. As if he had special radar that would signal my
presence. I put the laundry water. Brrr! It's ice cold! It has not
snowed since Christmas, but it's a terrible cold. After a few
seconds my hands are red. Until I finish up all my clothes, I will
definitely freeze. Anyway, I get used to the ice after a few
minutes. It'll be worse when my hands will thaw.

“Isn’t that water ice?”

I Jump. It seems that Sky has the same gift
to be inaudible.

“Hi to you too." I say. What do you
think?”

“After the color your hands are, purple-red,
red, I kinda appreciated well. Anyway, my question didn’t expect a
response.”

I enjoy his tone, a bit facetious.

“Come on, get out of here.” he tells me when
he's next to me.

I have no time to react in any way when he
takes the clothes from my hands and he pushes me aside.

“Ouch!”

“Excuse me.” He grins while he deepens his
hands in water.” Did I hit you really hard?”

“I think you did make me a bruise.” I blame
him, but not angry at all, only embarrassed by what he was doing.
”Would you please, stop, and let me do my job?”

Sky shrugs carelessly.

The water is too cold for you.” he
answers.

“And for you is not?”

Sky does not respond, however.

“Hey!” I tone up a little. I can’t be heard
on that side?”

Again, no response from him. I muttered loud
enough to be heard. He grins, satisfied.

“Get out of here!” I say once again.

I put my hands on his shoulder and I try to
push him. It's like pushing a rock. He did not budge. Almost like
he doesn’t even feel me.

“Are you on steroids?” I ask. “I can see you
have some muscle don’t you?”

“Indeed, don’t I?” he cockers himself.

Unwillingly, I laugh. He finishes washing my
stuffs, and then he puts them on a large stone.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I say, quite
embarrassed, “but thanks. I hope your hands did not freeze.”

His silence has now a specific meaning that I
fail to decipher. I looked questioningly at him.

“Sky?” I stare at his yellow eyes. “What is
it?”

“Look…” he says, in a hesitant tone. “You are
long enough now around me and Dane as you haven’t realized that we
are a little different from other human beings.”

I nodded approvingly. I also knew this was a
delicate subject and that he was not willing to talk about it. Of
all people, I know best how it feels not wanting to talk about
certain things, to want to hide certain things.

“You don't have to tell me anything.” I
finally say.” And I do not judge anyone for the lack of humanity.
And you don’t lack that.”

The flickering in his eyes brings to
gratitude.

“Dane does not lack it either.” he says
softly.

Although my pulse began to fret, I admit
calmly, nodding.

“I didn’t say he did.”

“But you said nothing about him either.”

I kick my lips, irritated.

“Because we weren’t talking about him.” I
said pretty drily.

“The hell we weren’t.” he snapped back at
me.

I look surprised at him because he seems
quite upset. But I keep my mouth shut. I don’t know what to tell
him and I do not want to talk about Dane.

“Look,” he does a little calmer, “Pat, I like
you very much.”

He can probably see on my face that I start
to freak, as he hastens to continue.

“Whoa, stay still! Do not misunderstand me. I
like you a lot, indeed, and if there wouldn’t be other things in
the involved, maybe I would like you even more. But that can no
longer be.”

I don't understand what he wants to say, but
that doesn’t interest me much. Sky continues then.

“What I want to say is that you are something
special, something special for me, I swear. But Dane...”

“Let's not talk about Dane, would you?” I say
spitefully.” I really appreciate you and care about you in some
way, but let's not talk about that anymore, okay?”

“I do not understand you at all!” he tells me
angry. “Dane is right about you. You're a really nice comrade, but
that’s all you can be. You are very human, but only outside. Inside
is cooler than the outer frozen air!”

His words hurt me. And the fact that they are
actually Dane’s pains me worse, for a reason that I cannot
explain.

“You have no right to talk to me like that!”
I blame him.”What do you know? You, who were born with everything,
you whom the people have not pointed at. You, whom people have not
been reluctant, or disgusted, to whom they didn’t shout insults…
What do you? You who don’t know what it is to feel... To feel…
hunger, poverty, cold and…”

“Stop!” he yelled at me. “You don't know what
you're talking about!”

He's angry and that it is very clear in his
eyes.

“People pointed us with their finger, people
have avoided us too! As about the hunger… how do you know you don't
know it? And perhaps we don't know what poverty means, perhaps we
don’t know what cold means, but we also don’t know what warmth
feels…”

He suddenly stops. As if he had said too
much. But indeed he said enough to milden my heart and to fill my
eyes with compassion. Sky deeply breaths, and then he looks at me
as if he would make the courage to.

“We're different from the others.” he says
more slowly.”And I already mentioned that I know for sure that you
noticed it.”

I nod.

“But I could also see that you are not afraid
of us.” he resumes with a warmer calmer tone that puts me at
peace.

I smile kindly at him.

“Not always. Listen, I repeat, you don't have
to tell me anything. It is true that there are plenty of strange
things about you, and it's true that sometimes I get the shivers of
fear, but that does not mean that I am extremely terrified or
something like that. You... You are my friends, and however you
might be, are staying my friends.”

His hand grabs mine and he tightens it with
gratitude.

“I’m so glad to hear you saying that. And
Dane... Is he your friend too?”

“Of course.” I say puzzled. “Why wouldn't he
be?”

I thought that Sky would have wanted to say
something more, but he suddenly stops. I see him listening to
something. He takes a deep breath as if sniffing. I shudder again,
but I try to hide my slight fear. Instinctively, I know he would
not do any harm to me.

Did you hear that, Dane? Pat said that you
are her friend too. So you could come all by yourself here,
instead...”

I do not think I will ever get used to this
way of theirs to appear. No sound, like ghosts. But whatever Sky
wanted to say, Dane snapped at him.

“Hi, Patricia.” He greeted me afterwards.

“Hey.” I say, without being able to look him
in the eye.

I did not even realize when Sky disappeared.
Here he was a moment ago, and then, the next moment, he was
gone.”

“It’s a good thing Sky he told me with his
own mouth that you, guys from your family, you’re kind of weirdoes,
because otherwise I thought that I went astray.” I say in a
slightly and humorous tone, in a pathetic attempt to loosen the
awkward atmosphere. I don't want to look at him. I know that if I
would do it, I'd looked down at his lips. And I know that he would
notice and I would die of shame.

“So… how are you?”

I glance at him very shortly.

“Actually, I wonder when you are going to
look at me.” He answers.

I purse my lips.

“Why we aren’t able to talk like people talk?
Why can I speak to Sky, but not with you?”

But don't really expect any response from
him, because I am the one answering to that.

“I'll tell you why. For that he doesn’t talk
to me as if I were to psychologist. He does not seek to analyze me
to the smallest detail. Why you and I aren't talking like two good
comrades?”

My tone is pretty wailing.

“Do you want me to apologize for the
kiss?”

Even if heaven had fallen on me, I would not
have remained so stoned. I sigh very hard and I put my hands to my
head helplessly.

“You know what I want? I just want you to
shut up your mouth! That's all. Just keep your mouth shut. Is it so
hard for you to do that? God have mercy on me! You are phenomenal!
As if you read my mind. As you know in advance exactly what I dread
to hear you talking, and that's exactly what you're doing. Listen
to me; if you don't shut your mouth, I go home. If you can hold
your tongue, I might stick around. So what is it going to be?”