The Language Inside (32 page)

Samnang calls as soon as classes are done

hey
he says

but now I know

not to read too much

into that
hey

hi
I say

I share what we heard from Dad

and Samnang asks how I’m doing

much better
I say

so, what do you think
he says

you want to go see Zena?

I can pick you up on my way

and though I hadn’t planned on it

and I haven’t prepared poems

when he says this I realize

I’d love to see Zena today

I tell him okay if I can get home

in time to go to the hospital

in Boston with Gram and Gramps

they could meet us at that gas station

near the highway ramp
he says

the one with the donuts—

we could get you there by 5:15

and in the back of my mind

I’m wondering why

he’s being quite this nice to me

if he has a girlfriend

YiaYia, Gram and Gramps

are all opposed to the idea

of me going anywhere

and of Samnang driving me

but I think that’s not fair

we call Dad

who consults groggy Mom

then Dad’s back on the phone saying fine

telling me to thank Samnang for his trouble

and warning me to make sure he drives carefully

and I’m glad I never shared

about Samnang’s drinking past—

               this is enough

               of the third degree

about half an hour later

Samnang pulls up

but when I go out to his car

I see there’s another person inside

up front

               a girl

hi
I say as I get in the back

and Samnang introduces me

               to Serey

Serey’s going to help two women

at the Newall Center today

while I work with Lok Ta Leap

I nod

stunned to be in the car

with the two of them

Serey turns to me

Samnang told me about your mom

I’m sorry—I hope she recovers fast

I gulp some air

and say
thanks

her presence

having taken me aback

and suddenly I’m so not wanting to be in that car

having so wanted a few minutes

alone with Samnang

even if he is

taken

then I ask

are you the dancer in that video

opposite Hanuman?

are you the mermaid?

you saw that?
she says, surprised

and I say
yeah, Samnang showed me

and I can see what seems like a flash of startle

as she glances at Samnang

I add quickly

you’re an amazing dancer

when did you start?

when I was five
she says

and for the rest of the ride I keep her talking

about how at first she liked dancing

just for the friends and performances

but now she’s really committed to the troupe

and learning new dances, both folk and classical

especially after visiting Cambodia two years ago

and dancing for relatives who’d never seen the royal dancing

and after studying with master teachers who come to Lowell

from the Royal University of Fine Arts in Phnom Penh

I’m actually glad to be hearing Serey’s words

not just because it’s a relief

to know this girl of Samnang’s is interesting

but also because I’m too fragile

to say anything about myself today

maybe it wasn’t a good idea

to come after all

I want to curl up

take a nap

and I half wish

for a migraine

but when the car stops

I unbuckle, get out

and follow them inside

the Newall Center

where

as we go our separate ways

Serey seems to know her way around

when I get to room 448

Zena is in her chair

and she does this funny thing

looking up again and again and again

like
hooray! hooray! hooray!

when I tell her the surgery was successful

and they didn’t find anything unusual

of course
I say

there’s still the pathology report

and they took samples from the other breast

so we’ll have to see about that

               which is something I haven’t told anyone else