The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (49 page)

BOOK: The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress
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     Many women have sensitive being in them. Many have it as a bottom to them. Some of such of them have attacking as their way of fighting, some of such of them have resisting as their way of winning. Some of such of them have yielding of them as their way of subduing, some of such of them have resisting as their way of subduing. Some have weakening in them from the sensitive being as the bottom of them, some nervous being, some creating, some loving, some suffering, some yielding, some resisting. Mrs. Hersland had sensitive being as the bottom to her being, sometimes this was in her as suffering, sometimes as loving, sometimes as resisting.

 

     Some then who have sensitive being as the bottom of them, some then of the many of them who have sensitive being as the bottom in them and have dependent independent nature in them, have resisting as their natural way of fighting, many then of this kind of them who have sensitive being as the bottom of them have not in much of their living much resisting. Many of such of them have not in their living very much fighting. Some have only for a little bit of their living real resisting in them, then they do not make any concession, then they have real resisting in them. Then the sensitive being in them turns into resisting being in them, this may lead to stupid acting by them, it is not stupid being in them, it is the way of fighting that should mean winning for them, when they have not enough in them for winning it often makes stupid acting, in them, it is not stupid being in them. Mrs. Hersland was such a one and it will come out in her living when she is herself inside her to her feeling. If came out a little in her in her loving, when she was young and a little resisting to her husband then to subdue him. It never showed in her with her children, not even when she was resisting her husband for them, resisting in her then was more nearly then attacking, it was defending them against him, sometimes it was real, resisting against him, it never was in her ever in her relation to any of them, they were always inside her to her feeling or they were big around her, too big and she was lost among them. She never had any feeling of herself to herself inside her ever with any one of the three of them. In her relation to servants and governesses and the families of them when any of such ones tried to be interfering then she was to herself then complete in resisting, then to herself she had not any concession ever to make to any one of them. She could have sharp angry indignation then, she could have strongly then inside her resisting, she never then could have inside her any conceding. She then often did very stupid acting, it was not in her, this resisting, stupid being, it was that sensitive being was not in her to the point of really creating resisting. It was that made her resisting then stupid acting, it was not in her then stupid being. This is clear now.

 

     Mrs. Hersland to herself was never cut off from rich right living. She was to herself cut off from Bridgepoint living, from eastern travelling, from southern feeling, she was not to herself cut off from rich living, she was to herself part of this being, in her Gossols living. She did not do much visiting but she was to herself always part of such living. She was to herself cut off from her family living, she was cut off from Bridgepoint living, she was in the west and eastern living was natural to her being. She had done travelling when she was younger, travelling with a cousin and a sister, she was now to her feeling cut off from such living. She was never to her dying, to herself, cut off from right rich being. She did not do much visiting, she was part of right rich being. This was herself in her feeling.

 

     She was cut off from Bridgepoint living, from travelling, from eastern living, she had this to herself in her feeling, later she went to Bridgepoint and she was a princess to them, she was a rich woman, Mr. Hersland had then just made his great fortune. She was a princess to them, she was not of them, she never was to herself ever after the beginning of her Gossols living, ever again part of Bridgepoint living. She was always to herself cut off from eastern living, from her family being. As I was saying when she went much later on a visit to Bridgepoint she was a princess to them. Earlier her early eastern living was a romance to her feeling. Always it was a romance to her feeling. Always even after she had visited them and been like a princess to them, for them, with them, eastern living was a romance to her feeling. Always she was cut off from eastern living, she never was to herself cut off from ordinary right rich being.

 

     Always then, eastern living, her early travelling, was a romance to her feeling, it was later a little a romance to her children. Later they had a sore feeling that their third governess shared it with them, that she owned the romance of the early living more than they owned it in them, more than it belonged to their mother in their feeling, it belonged then to Madeleine Wyman to their feeling, she owned the romance of their mother's early living, she owned then, later to their feeling, their mother's living, they had no freedom in their mother's living, later, in their feeling, Madeleine Wyman had the romance of their mother's early living as her possession. This was later a little a sore feeling in them, later when their mother's romance was no longer interesting to them, Madeleine Wyman had then come to own their mother and their father, to them. This was always a sore feeling in them.

 

     Mrs. Hersland had then all through her living her feeling of being always a right part of right rich ordinary being. Her children then were more of them the poor people living near them than they were of their mother's living then, though they were all of their mother's being then, all of her daily living then. Her husband was beginning then to be more then of the daily living around him than she was of him, of the men and women near them, not so much as the children were then but more than she ever could be in her feeling. He was then in the beginning of the middle part of his middle living, soon then he would begin to be more full up with impatient being. The children then as I was saying were more then of the living of the, for her, poor queer people around them than they were of their mother's living then. Her husband Mr. Hersland was beginning to have in him more feeling of brushing people away from around him, of being of them whoever it was that was at the moment near him. It was then, Mrs. Hersland had in her, strongest inside her, her feeling of herself to herself in her, she had then her strongest feeling of important being in her of herself inside her and she had this with Madeleine Wyman living in the house with her.

 

     There are many ways of being, there are many ways of loving. Some subdue the ones they need for their loving. There are many ways of subduing. There are many ways of owning other ones around one This is a history of some of them. This is a history of two of them.

 

     The Hersland family, then, had three governesses living with them. There was the first one, the good musician with a regular governess training, there was the second one without too much education, there was a third one and this is now a history of her.

 

     This is now a history of her with her family, with Mr. Hersland, with Mrs. Hersland, with every one she ever knew in her living from its beginning to its ending.

 

     This is now a beginning of the history of her, Mrs. Hersland talked a great deal to her. Madeleine always listened to her. This is now a history of their talking to each other. This is now a history of how they owned each other.

 

     It is very interesting that every one has in them their kind of stupid being. It is very important to know it in each one which part in them which kind of feeling in them is connected with stupid being in them. There is then stupid being in every one.

 

     There is then stupid being in every one, there is some subduing, some escaping in every one, there is some resisting and some attacking in every one. It is interesting to know it in each one what in them is stupid being for them, what kind of acting is stupid being in them, what kind of stupid acting is or is not stupid being in them. Sometime some one will know it of every one, what is and what is not stupid being in each one. This is now a history of two of them. This is now a history of more of them. This is now a history of Mrs. Hersland and Madeleine Wyman and the subduing power in each one of them and the escaping in each one of them and the resisting and attacking in each one of them and the stupid being in each one of them and the important being in each one of them. There is then now to be a history of the two of them, there is then now to be a history of the two of them and of all of the others near them, of the servants living in the house with them, of Mr. Hersland and later of the three Hersland children, of the Wyman family, the father and the mother and the two sisters and the brother of Madeleine Wyman. There is now then to be a history of all of these then, of Mrs. Hersland and Madeleine Wyman and of every one near them or connected with them. There was then as I was saying in Mrs. Hersland when Madeleine Wyman was living as governess with them, the time in her living when she had in her her completest feeling of being herself inside her in her feeling. This is now then a description of her being.

 

     As I was saying Mrs. Hersland was never to her feeling, cut off from rich right living. She was to her feeling cut off from her family and from eastern living and eastern travelling. She was to herself cut off from it to her feeling even when later she went to Bridgepoint to visit her early living. She was always to herself then cut off from her early being. Later Madeleine Wyman owned this early being. The three children later in their living had the feeling that Madeleine Wyman owned their mother's early Bridgepoint being, it gave to them a sore feeling. This is now a history of how the third governess Madeleine Wyman came to own Mrs. Hersland's early being and how Mrs. Hersland with Madeleine Wyman as governess in the house with them came to have in her her most important being of herself inside her and what feeling and being Mr. Hersland had in him.

 

     Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them. She never had a feeling of herself to herself from them. She was of them until they were so big that she was lost among them, she was lost then between them and the father of them.

 

     Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them. She was never, even to them, important to their being, they had later a sore feeling in them because Madeleine Wyman owned their mother and a little their father, entirely their mother later to them, they had a sore feeling in them, not because their mother was ever important to them, but she had made them, she so belonged to them, she was so part of the personal being of each one of them. Madeleine Wyman owning their mother, was to them, not an owning of them, but a cutting off a piece from each one of them. Their mother then was of them, they were not of her then excepting, as she was making them, Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them.

 

     Later there will be more history of the little sore feeling the children had in them because of Madeleine Wyman, who was married then, and their mother was no longer living, of Madeleine Wyman owning the mother of them. Later then in the history of each one of them there will be a description of the sore feeling they each one had in them at Madeleine Wyman's owning the mother of them and a little the father of them. Not that Madeleine Wyman had any influence over any of them, over the mother or the father or any one of the children. It was nothing of such a thing that happened to them. It was that she owned the mother of them by living in her feeling their mother's early living, by being the reason of their mother having in her then when Madeleine Wyman was with them the being herself to herself more inside her in her being than at any other time in all her living. So Madeleine Wyman owned Mrs. Hersland, to her children. She a little owned Mr. Hersland for them but that was mostly in so much as he belonged to the mother of them. Madeleine Wyman to them, to the children, never owned them, it was only the parents of them that she held in her possession. It was not a sore feeling ever in any one of the three of them that owning their mother and a little their father that she ever the least bit owned any one of the three of them. It was that in owning their mother's early living, in her feeling, owning their mother's moment of being most herself to herself in her feeling, owning their father's early living and their mother's feeling for their father then in her important being and their father's feeling for their mother then, it was by such owning that they felt something cut off from them. A part that should have been them Madeleine Wyman held in possession. It was not of them then, it was cut off from them. It should have been then as a piece of the whole of each one of the three of them. Madeleine Wyman held it in possession. In their very later living they each one had it again in them. They came again to own their mother and their father in them. In their early living they had about Madeleine Wyman a very sore feeling. They hated to hear her talking. Their mother and a little their father were really more important to Madeleine Wyman than they were to any of the three of them except as to having made them, to them, in their early living. They could not deny this to Madeleine Wyman. She had by her feeling of the importance of their mother in the world of beings, she had then by this a right to her owning, to her possession, they could not deny this any one of the three of them, it was not the importance of their mother as a being that counted for any of the three of them, it was that she was part of them, having made them. They were not any, any one of the three of them ever very much of her in their feeling. She was of them to their feeling. Not a lively feeling in them, it was important to them only when this possession was cut off from them by Madeleine Wyman's owning of her and her early living and her important being. She was then, Mrs. Hersland, important to her children, only to being them. She belonged to them then not by her important being in her feeling; Madeleine Wyman then had a right to her possession. The children all three of them by her possession of the mother of them and a little of the father of them had cut off from them in their later younger living a part of them and they had then a right to their sore feeling at her possession of their mother and a little of the father of them. There will be now more history of Madeleine Wyman in this possession.
BOOK: The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress
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