The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them (26 page)

This means that a male has to touch a woman from the very first time he meets her, and it is one crucial difference between acting like a potential friend and acting like a potential boyfriend. If a male is talking to a woman without making any physical contact, he risks coming across as more interested in friendship than sex or romance.

The purposes in touching a woman will change over the process of seducing her. Once the two of you have kissed, you may fondle and caress her to get your own juices flowing, but at first it should be more about touching her to make
her
feel comfortable and accustomed to your touch, and then your touch will be focused on making her horny, rather than making yourself feel good.

Although you may certainly enjoy the physical contact itself when you are flirting with a woman, in the beginning you must touch her to display your physical interest in her, to make it clear that you want her and her body, to display your own confidence, and to show that you are comfortable with and unafraid of her. Then, as time goes by, you must touch her more and more, moving your hand from so-called innocent and harmless spots on her body, such as her arms and lower back, to more sensitive locations such as her hips, legs, and neck, and finally to more sexual spots, such as her breasts, butt, and genitals, with the ultimate intent of making her aroused from your touch whenever she is near you.

This will also make her want to be close to you as it literally
feels
better.

To touch a woman confidently, it is vital that you are unafraid to do so, but it also matters a lot
how
you touch her. The specifics regarding where exactly you touch her and for how long have to be built up progressively from platonic to more and more sexual; if you touch sexual spots too soon or too long, you will be groping her, which will rightfully scare her off. To grope a woman means that your touches are unwelcome, and whether they are welcome depends on how comfortable she is with you as a person at that time. This is why a woman will be offended if you pinch her ass on the dance floor without talking to her first, but she will enjoy that very
same
touch if you have been doing a good job of flirting with her for a while first.

If you grew up in a physically affectionate family, touching a woman will come more naturally to you, and you might by habit already be touching women when you talk to them; otherwise, you just have to start getting used to it and intentionally do so. The more at ease
you
are, the more at ease women will be. And the more you are expanding your body, the more natural it will
seem that you touch her too since you will not be reaching out from nowhere.

Establish the assumption that women enjoy being touched by you, and touch them without making a big deal out of it. That means you have to avoid looking at your own hand as you gently make contact with a woman, and allow the move to occur naturally as part of the conversation or situation rather than coming from nowhere. Eventually, with practice, a man will be able just to grab a woman by her hips, for instance, and pull her close, and she will love the surprising move.

Once you have started touching her, do it more and more for longer and longer periods. Even if something else, such as a waiter, a friend, or a phone call, interrupts your conversation, there is no need to break the physical contact. Keep your hand wherever it is on her, or even start rubbing her
more
, if others cannot see you doing it.

The more physical contact you can have comfortably with women, the better, but there is no need to push them into bushes, trip them over, wrestle them to the ground, punch them jokingly, or grind all over them on the dance floor. Leave that tasteless and timid contact to the rest of the males who do not really know what they are doing or how women want to be touched by men.

The opportunities to touch a woman in more pleasant and romantic ways are endless. You can take her hand when you lead her away from her friends or when she steps out of the cab on your first date. You can give her a hug when you part ways for the first time or upon greeting her for the second time. You can put your hand on the side of her waist when you lean in to better hear what she is saying in a crowded place, or gently guide her lower back when you are out walking together. You can stroke her hair as you tell her how beautiful it is and how much you love it, or put your
arm around her and keep it there when you are sitting next to each other at a cinema, on a couch, in the backseat of a car, on a bus, or on a train. You can gently grab her hand and let your two hands rest on the table as you tell her something romantic on your first dinner together, or spank her butt as she bends over to pick up her panties in the morning after you have had sex with her.

However, depending on her personality and the level of bad socialization she has been exposed to, she may not want a man to touch her
sexually
at all when other people are close by. Even though other people’s opinions should never bother you, you have to keep in mind that
she
is allowed to waste her time with such worries and that it is in your best interest to respect that. But you should never
ask
a woman if it is okay for you to touch her in a more sensual and sensitive spot; instead just try it out discreetly to see how she reacts, and respect her wish if she tells you to stop — without apologizing for your move. Either she will enjoy it or she will be amazed at your audacity. A male benefits either way.

Once you have kissed for the first time, or meanwhile, your gentle touches may turn into more serious squeezing as you explore all of a woman’s curves, but go slower and lighter in the beginning while paying careful attention to how she reacts. With time, you will learn exactly
where
and
how
most women prefer to be touched. Usually as your hands find their way over enjoyable areas for women, they will close their eyes, gasp, moan, or simply tell you where they enjoy it the most.

Smell

Women spend both time and money finding the right scents for them. They understand that the best flowers not only look beautiful but also smell lovely. But the biggest difference between looking great and smelling good is that scent is more private. While
everyone can
see
a woman from afar, you have to come in close to get to know her scent. Of the compliments that women do receive, they are rarely about their smell, which is something that you should take advantage of. You could even pay her a compliment about how great she smells upon meeting her for the first time, otherwise, the opportunity will most likely present itself when you are dating.

If you notice that a woman has made an effort to smell nice, you should definitely tell her so. Not only will she appreciate the compliment, but the fact that you are interested in her and even paying attention to the details about her will be both very clear and flattering.

However, it may not actually be necessary to
tell
her that she smells like a flower and that you love her perfume if your body language conveys the same message. You could lean in toward the side of her neck and slowly take a breath through your nose to demonstrate that you are taking in her smell. To do so with a gentle smile on your face is actually a good way to pay her a compliment nonverbally, and those are the type of compliments that women appreciate the most but receive the least.

One thing to keep in mind, though, is that when you are close enough to notice the smell of your woman, she will be able to smell
you
, too. Women on a date never small bad, as they know how to take good care of themselves down to the smallest detail, but few of them roll out of bed like that. They have made an effort to get themselves ready for the date, and so should you.

As I have mentioned, the only human sense that the two of you have left to explore each other with once you have looked at, talked to, and touched each other, is taste, which is what we usually call kissing, but you will not get that close if your breath is repulsive.

However, that does not mean you need to buy a ton of breath-freshening products or that it is necessary to taste like strawberries all the time. As long as your breath does not smell bad or does not smell at all, you will be fine. Just brush your teeth every morning and every evening and perhaps throw in a piece of chewing gum if you just ate something strong or spicy, such as garlic or curry, and of course offer a piece of gum to the woman if she ate something similar on the date.

Few people
need
products such as mouthwash as long as they brush their teeth twice a day. But many believe that they do, as the airways are filled with advertisements that target consumers with low confidence who are willing to spend an obscene amount of money to improve what they believe makes them more attractive. It is all part of the social conditioning aimed to make you feel inadequate.

The same basic ideas apply to how to handle your general body odor. As long as you shower and wash yourself with regular soap every day, before each
planned
date, and then make sure to put on clean clothes, that is enough. If you tend to sweat a lot, use a deodorant or antiperspirant, but stick to the fragrance-free alternatives. You do not need any kind of cologne. I would even recommend that you intentionally
avoid
it.

Females actually enjoy a male who smells like a man, so there is no point in wasting time and money on something that would ruin your natural scent and even make you
less
appealing. If you use too much cologne or scents that are too strong, you risk appearing feminine or trying to compensate for something that you lack. Basically, you risk excluding women if they do not like your perfume or are allergic or think you are trying too hard, something a neutral or naturally masculine scent would not.

The only reason you should ever visit the perfume department
is to approach and flirt with the lovely saleswomen who tend to be hired in such places. If such a woman tries to sell you something, politely decline and tell her that you did not come for the products, you came for her. Once again, no excuses are necessary.

Most males would never even think of going to such places just to meet new women. Plus, whenever they find themselves in such feminine environments like the ladies’ section of malls, regardless of whether it is full of women shopping for perfumes or lingerie, they feel awkward and want to
leave
as soon as possible rather than enjoy the environment and the opportunities it presents. This is yet another example of what I meant in the introduction; that even though most males
do
want women, few actually
act
like they do — quite the contrary.

PROTECTIVE

Part of making women feel comfortable with you is your ability to shield and protect them from uncomfortable situations. Whenever you have the chance to be physically protective with your body, you should be, as women will then feel physically more comfortable while at the same time understand that you care for them. The point is to make a woman feel like she is special, more attractive than other women, and that she is worth the effort it takes to care for her. It is not to make a woman feel frail or incompetent, or to protect her because you feel the
need
to. You do so because you want and choose to, and if you do not feel that way, then you have not found the right woman.

While society loves a male who is protective of all females, not just the ones he cares about, and parents train their sons to become such males even to the extent of sacrificing themselves, this is not what women want. A male should only concern himself with protecting the women
he
cherishes, and never at the expense
of himself, which is why he should not throw himself over pieces of broken glass and let a woman and everyone else walk all over him. Society would honor such a male, but his woman would not because he would be unable to protect her more than once if he sacrifices himself.

What you should do, however, includes, for example:

• Intervene, by leading her away, if someone upsets or flirts with her.

• Get in the way of anything that might be bothering her, such as dogs or beggars.

• Make sure she gets home safely, never leave her alone late at night, and never let her wait by herself in an area she is unfamiliar with.

• Grab her hand or walk behind her while gently putting a hand behind her lower back as she walks up a flight of stairs, preventing her from tripping or catching her if she does.

• Reassure her if she is afraid during a horror movie or high up in a ski lift by putting your arm around her, grabbing her hand, or bringing her closer.

• Embrace her if she is cold, but do not offer your own jacket if that would cause you to freeze to death; instead, hug her tight or quickly lead her to a warmer location.

• Carry her heaviest bag if it makes her uncomfortable, but avoid walking around with her tiny purse or all her shopping bags, as that would not be shielding her from any discomfort, but only turning yourself into her servant.

All of these gestures convey much more than words ever could, and they can make the ultimate difference in whether or not a male gets a girl at all, how long it takes a man to get her, or whether she
loses her sexual interest in him and rather prefers that he act as a self-sacrificing servant.

Being able to do some of these things, however, requires that you do not allow yourself to be as bothered by your environment as a woman is allowed to be, and preferably not be bothered at all. To do this, you must learn how to keep your cool.

COOL

Attractive females are often referred to as
hot
, and the men who get them are commonly called
cool
, but have you ever stopped to think about what it actually means to be cool? What attribute is that word trying to describe? It usually refers to being relaxed, which is an attribute of someone who is confident. Thus, a male has to be relaxed around women to be confident (to appear certain), but it is also important to be cool for a completely different reason.