The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them (34 page)

Dating for a couple of
days
before you have sex will seem too good to be true to some males, but you should be mentally prepared to go all the way on the
first
date. Sex on the first date is not only possible, but also likely for a man who knows what he is doing, or at least for a male who follows advice from someone who does. Hence, if the date goes well, you should not wait to take it to the next level, and definitely do not end it, but instead kiss her, and if that goes well, kiss her even more and finally have sex with her.

Nevertheless, kissing comes first.

Chapter Sixteen

THE KISS

Assuming that you are still interested in the woman sexually, you should always go for a kiss
during
the
first
date. It is still not too late on the second date, but there is no point and definitely no advantage in waiting. If you start thinking it might be a good idea to wait for the next date, that is your lack of confidence messing with you, so go for the kiss on the first.

The first kiss is special, as you are getting to know each other on a new level. You both get to taste each other for the first time, after having seen, heard, smelled, and touched each other already. The only level that remains after that is to have sex, which is basically about doing all of that, intensely, at the same time — and all kisses after the first one are intended to make women horny and prepared for sex. Although you should of course enjoy them as well.

The traditional time to kiss a woman is at the end of a date, but if you feel like doing it sooner, please do. If you are having a very good time you should make the best of it and kiss her in the
beginning or middle of the date rather than cutting yourself short by waiting until the last minute of it, as something unexpected could occur, and you could miss the opportunity altogether. Having it done sooner than before you part ways at the end of the date also makes it easier to not part ways and instead go home together or stay the night if you are already at home.

And if there is an obvious opportunity for you to kiss a woman at any moment, but you do not, she will be disappointed and wonder what you really want from her.

Becoming a good kisser is paramount to being successful with women, but it takes practice and the understanding that kissing includes more than merely two mouths meeting; it involves nibbling, biting, sucking on both the upper and lower lips, and swirling tongues that explore each other, for example, although
none
of that is necessary for the
first
kiss.

If you have kissed women before, you already know what to do, but if you have not, it is pretty straightforward and only takes a couple of tries to learn. Stop talking, moisten your lips without making them wet, tell her to stop talking too if necessary, smile and look deep into her eyes, get close to her, put an arm around her waist or cup her face, and kiss her mouth. Or, if you are about to say goodbye, lean in and hug her, and as both of you lean back, keep your arms around her, look her in her eyes for a few seconds, look at her lips, and lean in once again but this time toward her face instead of her ear and kiss her. Or just kiss her in the way you feel most comfortable, as long as it is still a real kiss and not just a little peck, as long as you close your eyes right before your lips meet, as long as you grab and hold her somewhere with your hands, and as long as you keep your tongue
away
the first time.

Save the tongue for later, unless she uses hers.

Once you are kissing her, keep going until
she
pulls back — to
enjoy yourself, to let her know that you enjoy kissing her, and to start making her horny early on.

If she turns her head away when you come closer to kiss her, just kiss her on the cheek or turn her face back toward you while still smiling as if nothing special happened. An experienced man would make no big deal about it, continue smiling and talking, knowing that he can still get her later. Although this reaction is not ideal, a male will be better off than before he tried to kiss her, because by trying to kiss her she will think higher of him, as he
dared
to go in for a kiss, which she probably did not expect. He just showed her he indeed has some balls, and that is what she likes.

A woman might even like you but still turn her head away because she is shy, she thinks you are moving too fast, she is afraid that people are watching, or because the moment is not romantic enough. You never know.

Whatever you do, though, do not excuse or apologize for your behavior or try to joke away what just happened. Rest assured that you made the right move and get back to talking to her. You will just have to try kissing her again sometime later when you see or create a new opportunity.

After you have gone in for the kiss, keep touching her, and let your hand
stay
on her body, regardless of how the kiss itself goes.

Once you have kissed her and she reciprocates during the kiss, you pretty much have her, assuming that both of you were sober (one more reason why it is a good idea not to drink). Depending on where you are, you can call it a night and meet her on a new date some other day, keep on making out with her if you like, or lead her to a more isolated location where you can have sex with her right away. The next step is to have sex with her; it is only a matter of when and where. You can either keep going or postpone sex
for another day. By now you know my views on postponing things when you have the chance to keep going, but I am sure you also want to seize the moment instead of risk losing the opportunity by waiting, and hopefully you understand that the woman want it too.

If the woman kisses you back and you start to make out or you kiss several times during the date, you should always keep advancing and attempt to have sex with her, as it is very likely that she has or will become horny enough. You should assume that she is both horny and sexually deprived but cannot admit it, and then test that hypothesis.

Chapter Seventeen

THE SEX

While the traditional view of a man who is good with women will always be that he is only out for the sex and does not care about women or relationships with women (as if having sex is not caring, and as if relationships with women do not include sex), these assumptions do not reflect reality. In fact, not only is sex a compassionate way to care for a woman, and all relationships that are more than friendly involve it, but plenty of men also actually like things such as making out, cuddling, and having long talks through the night with women as much or even more than banging them against the wall, and when they are not having sex with women they still have a great time with them.

Few males really want to have sex with
new
women every single weekend, although many males definitely believe that is what they want before they are able to accomplish it. Once they learn how, though, they find out their beliefs did not come from themselves. Once again, it is another idea from traditional socialization, as males are “supposed” to be obsessed about sex and conquests.

Another common misconception is that you either have a relationship with women
or
you have sex with them, while the real choice is actually between having some kind of sexual relationship and having friendship, which is why sex is not such a big deal and yet crucial at the same time if you are not looking for friendship. Having sex is a natural step in cementing the relationship as one that includes it and something you inevitably must get past even when you want more than just the act itself. It is the final step of the seduction process.

After you have kissed a woman for the first time and it went well — you could tell she appreciated or even reciprocated the kiss — it is all about making her as horny as possible, isolating her, and finally getting her penetrable, but not necessarily naked. Up until this point, you should have mainly been focusing on making her feel comfortable, but now you have to make her horny as well, as that will put her into a state where her emotions will override her reason: Her natural desires will overpower her social pressures. That matters, as a female is not going to make the decision to have sex with a male based on thinking, because in the heat of the moment, her emotions run the show. She will not
think
about it, she will
feel
about it. If you can make her feel the right things for the moment, she will be yours for the night. The more time you let her think about it, however, the higher the risk that she will be worried about being a slut because of her socialization.

This is why
some
resistance or hesitation on the woman’s part is both normal and expected. Obviously, struggling is neither okay nor normal, but second thoughts on her part might be. The fact that she is married, engaged, or has a boyfriend might all of a sudden surface, or she will realize that she is about to do something that is considered “naughty” or that she is about to have sex with someone she just met and whose name she cannot remember.
That is even how mature and experienced women may react, but if she is shy or inexperienced, then it is even more likely.

You have to deal with this kind of resistance at the last minute the same way you deal with all kinds of resistance. You have to look at it as a sign that you should make a woman feel more comfortable, and in this case even hornier, rather than giving up right away and without coming off as desperate to have sex or eager to get it over with.

First, you have to isolate her in a place where you can have sex with her, preferably somewhere comfortable, but not necessarily so. The copy room, the backseat of a car, or a stairwell could work, as long as it is out of sight, but a coach or bed is perhaps the most common destination. Second, you have to increase the physical contact, to touch her more in sexual places, and to keep on kissing her wherever she responds the best. Third, you have to undress her enough to be penetrated, but not necessarily get her naked.

If she says, “I need to go home,” “we shouldn’t be doing this,” or “I don’t want to be easy,”
without
actually trying to get up and walk away at the same time, acknowledge what she just said by telling her you understand, give her a compliment, but then keep kissing her for a few minutes before trying again. Four out of five times, she has only had an urge to let you know that she is indeed a “good girl” and wants to shift the responsibility to you, as she felt it was on her, before she allows herself to indulge in what she really wants. Patience pays off in this case, and after a few more minutes, you should have no problem laying her down comfortably or bending her over a table and undressing her enough to be able to penetrate her. This could mean as little as lifting up her skirt and pulling her panties down to her knees, or even only pulling them to the side. You definitely do not need to be completely
naked to have sex, at least not to get started.

When a woman has become horny enough, she will stop objecting, or she will keep
saying
one thing while at the same time
doing
the opposite, like lifting her butt up so that you can take off her panties while telling you not to. This can be very confusing and even scary for an inexperienced male who is unsure what to believe or how to react. It is not as simple as “no means no” when you are dealing with women who are under a lot of social pressure or who enjoy being submissive. You have to use your brain and pay attention to what she is doing to figure out what she really wants, while obviously not raping her. No force should ever be necessary to overcome a woman’s objections, but as long as she always has an easy way out that she is not using while still reciprocating your kisses, or even takes the initiative, you can assume she is willing to keep going.

That is how you transition to sex as early as on the first date, because you intentionally try to make women horny early on and just keep going as far as you can rather than having platonic dates among friends for weeks before even trying.

All women are willing to have sex on the first date, even the very same day they meet a man, as long as that man does the right things. However, not all women will admit it, and some will not even know it. Regardless of what your thoughts may be about that, your success will still be the best if you treat all women as if they
are
sluts without making them
feel
like it. You have nothing to lose by trying, but a lot to lose by not trying.

A woman who has sex with a man despite her outspoken formal rules will simply manufacture an explanation to justify her behavior. She will rationalize and make up excuses for why she ended up in bed with a man despite having a boyfriend, despite this being a first date, and despite her plans to save herself until
she was married. She has been making up excuses all her life and is good enough at it to do it even under these circumstances.

However, if you are unable to make her feel comfortable and horny enough or if she is having her period, she might get up and leave even if you are persistent. If she takes that kind of initiative, then just let her go, and pick up where you left off the next time you meet her. Date another woman in the meantime, if you feel like it. But if she left because you could have made her feel better, you should think it over and improve yourself for the next time.

Fantasy

There are several ways to make a woman horny, and it can be done either gradually or quickly. For example, if you are having a dinner date in your home, you can slowly butter her up with candlelight, romantic music, and a lot of foreplay for hours. Or you can gently grab her as soon as the two of you close the door to your apartment, push her against the wall, and start making out with her — with her ponytail in a tight grip in one of your hands while the other rubs her pussy outside her clothes — lead her into the kitchen, bend her forward by the waist over a table, and take her from behind even before dinner. The difference in pace depends on your level of skill, how good you have made her feel already, and how creative or perverted you are, but mostly how courageous you are to simply dare trying.

You could stop talking entirely, or keep the compliments coming by telling her how lovely she looks, how great her body feels, and how much you want to be inside her. You can even be more explicit than that. Most women will be very turned on if you are verbally direct at this stage too, like if you look them straight in their eyes and confidently tell them how sexy they are, how horny they make you feel, and how you intend to fuck them thoroughly.

However, if you have not had sex with her yet and if you have been advancing quickly, you have to be careful with
how
you deliver such statements. If you tell her that you want to have sex with her instead of just proceeding to make out with her, make her horny, and undress her, she might interpret it as you are asking her permission. This shifts the responsibility back to her, which will cause her to have second thoughts.

Regardless of what you
tell
her, keep going.

Pay attention to which areas on her body are the most sensitive, the spots that make her gasp, moan, curl, roll her eyes, and shiver the most, and focus on kissing and caressing them. Rubbing her pussy while she is still wearing her skirt or pants while kissing her mouth is often enough to make a woman really wet. Kissing in particular tends to make women horny, and many of them get very turned on if you manhandle them at the same time, as your physical passion makes them feel irresistibly attractive. This is why so many women enjoy when a man pulls their hair, holds both of their hands behind their back, handcuffs or ties them to the bed, spanks their butt decisively a few times, or even chokes them when they have or are about to have sex. It certainly does not look romantic on paper, and it is nothing that women speak openly about at the family dinner table or talk about on TV, but it is one of those things that they naturally respond to well, something every man who has been with a few women and tried has noticed.

In general, a woman who likes a man does not mind that he does whatever
he
wants with her, quite the contrary, which is why some of them actually say “Do whatever you want with me!”

If you have had sex before, you already know how it goes, but even if you have never had sex, I am sure that you have watched enough porn to get the idea, and that is enough to get started and find your way around a woman’s body. But keep in mind that what
an inexperienced male believes women want in bed is probably what he has been socialized to believe and is actually quite far from what an experienced man would tell him women like. Porn is not the best of references, but at least it is better than the soft, sweet, gentle lovemaking you commonly see in romantic movies.

Some females claim that sex in real life is
nothing
like the sex in adult movies. I have always wondered what kind of movies these females have been watching or how boring they must be in bed. Do not pay any attention to such females, and certainly do not date them, but do keep in mind that most porn is only good as a source of inspiration, not as an exact reference, and nothing complicated should be tried until you master the basics.

You need to keep in mind a few things, though, regardless of your sexual experience in the past. To
stay
attractive to a woman, you cannot be self-conscious or embarrassed to get naked in front of her. That would not be confident. However, understand that
she
may be worried about how she looks without her clothes on. Turning down the lights usually helps make her more comfortable in this regard, although it is probably not what you would prefer. Even a shy woman will allow the lights to be on for you if she is very submissive, especially if you are smart about it and explain that you want to see her sexy naked body because she looks
so
good, but you should not press for it if you notice that it bothers her. Sex in the dark is still better than no sex at all, and if you go to bed when it is dark outside, you will be able to enjoy looking at her as the sun rises in the morning.

Another thing that they do not teach you in sex education class is that, whenever you do have sex with a woman, always make sure that
you
end up pleased. If you do not come at all, or if you make her come without getting off yourself, she will wonder what is wrong with you. Your pleasure comes first, because you are
dominant. This is very counterintuitive, as it may seem like a good idea to care only about the woman in bed for her to want to have sex with you again. In reality, giving a woman an orgasm is not necessary for her to want to have sex with you again, as women are actually able to enjoy sex without reaching climax. On a biological level, it has always been necessary for males to come to reproduce, but never for females, so we are hardwired differently.

Although it is great to be able to give women orgasms and a good way to keep many women coming back for more for a long time, it is not necessary as long as you have the stamina to keep going for more than 20 minutes so that she has time to enjoy it too, and it is nothing you need to think about
before
you have solved your problems of getting girls in the first place.

If you have not had a lot of sex yet, it is easy to forget that women want sex too. It is not a favor that they do you, and you owe them nothing if they please you. Never thank a woman during or after sex, and do not be afraid to
use
her once she is naked in front of you. Women do not enjoy being abused, but they do enjoy being used, which is why some women will even explicitly tell you to once you are alone and naked together, while the rest only wish for it silently.

Using her includes confidently telling her what it is that you want her to do, what position to take, and what you want to do with her. You will be amazed what you can experience as long as you let women know what you want, unlike when you only wish for things to magically happen. Plenty of males who do have sex are still not living their sexual fantasies with their girlfriends because they are too timid or outright afraid of her reaction to their fantasies. Some males even marry females who refuse to fulfill
any
of their sexual fantasies, which is not a particularly smart move to make by either party involved.