The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant (22 page)

Because there is not enough constriction to impede blood flow, a submissive can remain in Japanese bondage for an extended period and can, with some designs, actually don street clothes and venture out in public while remaining in this exotic bondage. When the entire pattern is completed, any strain should be evenly distributed across the entire body so the submissive can be lifted off his or her feet by attaching a hoisting rope to the web.

If the submissive’s hands are tied to the web, this should be treated as an immobilization tie, and appropriate precautions taken. For example, it is acceptable to web the entire arm to the body web with twine or narrow cord because the pressure will be distributed across several loops. However, if you are doing a wrist tie with a single strand, you should use a wider rope and knot the rope with a fisherman’s bend or use cuffs to protect the wrist from damage.

Another whole-body bondage technique is mummification. Again, you should not try this unless you have a pair of sharp bandage or EMT scissors handy in the event the submissive needs to be released quickly. Because there can be a gradual build-up of heat during a mummification, you should regularly monitor the submissive’s alertness. Any faintness or disorientation is a danger sign, and if it occurs you should give him or her a cool drink and consider moving on to another activity.

The simplest approach to mummification is to slightly dampen an ordinary sheet and roll the submissive in it. The moist sheet will adhere to itself and to the submissive. The submissive’s head should always be outside the roll.

Another, similar technique is to use plastic wrap. The kind you get from the grocery store is acceptable, but many dominants like to buy industrial shrink wrap in 36- to forty- inch rolls. Simply wrap your submissive like a large leftover. You can then have the wrapped arms lowered and enclose them as you make turn after turn around the upper body. A hair dryer can speed up the shrinking action, but the submissive’s own body temperature will activate the process in any case.

This material conducts heat, cold and impact very well. So you can whip or wax right over it with the well-wrapped submissive getting the full stimulation. However, you may enjoy using your EMT scissors to create openings through which all sorts of nice things can pop and be played with.

Many dominants keep a supply of regular or elastic bandages available for whole-body bondage. The usual procedure is to start with a few turns around the upper body and apply the wrappings in overlapping turns. As each bandage is put in place, it is secured with butterfly clips, usually supplied with elastic bandages, or with adhesive tape. A figure-eight pattern is used over the nipples to leave them exposed as you don’t want to cut elastic bandages, and if regular bandages are cut, they tend to unravel at the most inopportune times.

There is some debate about whether it is better to wrap the arms at the same time as the body, either crossed over the chest in Egyptian style or along the sides, or bind them separately. Those who prefer the same-time wrapping argue that it is more aesthetic to have a single package. The armsseparate school holds that keeping them separate allows more options in the continuing bondage process.

The most important thing to remember with whole- body bondage is that it usually cannot be undone quickly. You must have some means by which you can cut the submissive free if something untoward happens.

Self-bondage

First, and foremost, self-bondage is dangerous. If you’ve read the sections on bondage carefully, you’ll notice I stress how important it is for a dominant to be able to free a submissive on a moment’s notice. In self bondage, this is generally difficult, if not impossible.

The best thing is to find a dominant and have him or her tie you up. I accept that it isn’t all that easy, but please consider doing this.

The next best thing is to limit yourself to partial immobilization. Many submissives secure only their feet and one hand. The main incentive for this is that the free hand is used for masturbation, but it is also available for getting them out of bondage in the event of a fire, break in or other emergency. Others secure only their hands and, in an emergency, could escape from their homes or apartments.

However, I recognize that, for some, nothing but complete immobilization will do. In most cases, they use some locking device with a system to withhold the key for a certain interval. Many of these systems are extremely dangerous. One, which has appeared in more than one bondage film, is a burning candle that cuts a cord, dropping the key within reach. Unless you enjoy being helpless in a burning building, I do not recommend this approach.

Another, less dangerous approach uses keys suspended from a string which runs through a pulley and down to the minute hand on an old CrayLab timer. When the hand approaches the zero position, the cord slips off and the keys drop from where they have been hoisted.

A common technique is to freeze the keys into a block of ice. The keys are unavailable until the ice melts. The size of the block determines the length of the bondage, and submissives have used gallon milk containers as molds for their “bondage cubes.’

It is possible to arrange a weak equivalent of the safeword in self bondage. Put an extra set of keys into a valued vase on a high table. The logic is that in a real emergency you won’t hesitate to knock over the table, smashing the vase and making the keys available. If you lack a Ming antique, put the spare keys in a regular jar in the middle of the living room rug and then fill it with vegetable oil. Again, knocking this over isn’t something you will do casually, but it will provide you with a set of keys when you need them.

However, remember that you won’t be able to get your extra keys with anything like the speed with which an attentive partner can free you. Self bondage is only a choice if a trustworthy partner is not available and you feel you must be in bondage. It is not something that should be tried casually.

Suggested Reading

Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook,
Jay Wiseman, Greenery Press

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage,
Midori, Greenery Press

Whipping

A whip is almost the icon of the scene. Hanging from a dominant’s belt or flying through the air to land with a resounding crack on a submissive’s back, the whip, to many people, is the scene.

Selecting a whip.
Contrary to popular impressions, it is the multi-tailed cat rather than the bullwhip that is the whip of choice for most dominants. Although the bullwhip is spectacular and makes an impressive crack in the air when used properly, even a short one requires an inordinate amount of room and is very difficult to employ in such a way that does not reduce the expectant submissive (and occasionally, the novice dominant) to bloody shreds. After all, the loud, snapping sound characteristic of the bullwhip is caused when the tips travels faster than sound. It is very difficult to caress anyone with a hypersonic piece of material.

Bullwhips are used in the scene, but their role is often restricted to that of a noisemaker and intimidation device. Using one directly on a submissive is either the mark of a highly skilled whipper or a complete fool, and the distinction is rarely in doubt for long.

Generally, when a singletail is used in direct contact with skin, no attempt is made to crack it. Instead, the fall is drawn across the back often with a wide swinging horizontal arc or flicked against a muscled area with a flick rather than the explosive movement that creates the cracking sound.

On the other hand, the cat whip is a tremendously versatile tool. It can deliver as stimulating a whipping as most submissives can tolerate, or it can be as soft and gentle as a baby’s touch.

The most common material cat whips are made of is steerhide. It is relatively inexpensive and easily available. However, it can be a bit rigid and inflexible, particularly if it has not been prepared well. I and many other dominants I know prefer deerskin or moosehide. These are softer and more flexible than steerhide and have a very pleasing feel.

Suede is an interesting material. It has a lovely texture and is very soft, but anyone using it should be aware that it has a tendency to abrade rather than cut. Only a few strokes with a suede whip will redden skin. Too much may draw blood despite a complete lack of visible cuts. Whips of this material are a good adjunct to a dominant’s kit, but I don’t think they should be used as a primary whip for extended whipping.

Another popular material that can be deceptively harsh is horse hair. Horse hair flicks are sold in both tack and leather shops. Used lightly, horse hair are an unmatched erotic tease while with forceful blows they can be quite stimulating. However, this is another material you should watch with care because the hair’s surface is so rough that abrasion will take place during an intense whipping. This effect can be reduced somewhat by using soaking the hair in a solution made from a capful of hair conditioner to a gallon of water and allowing it to air dry. For those desiring a fashion statement, commercial hair dye can be used to make the flick match your own hair color or the color of your outfit.

Midnight, a Boston dominant, who is an artist of the horse hair flick, says, “I use it as a warm up. It tends to redden the bottom a little faster for me. It also leaves very, very small welts so that the stings seem to last much longer. I also use it to caress.”

Cat whips with beads or knots at the end of the tail should be avoided early on. Later, you may want one or two for special effects or as scene-enders when you want a burst of high intensity stimulation. However, they have to be watched carefully, and you can’t use them for too long. To me, that cuts into the fun.

Although they are not technically whips, canes belong more logically in this section than in the spanking section. The canes used from a scene aren’t the sturdy supports elderly people use to get to the corner store but are, instead, light, whippy pieces of birch, rattan and bamboo so beloved by the English schoolmaster. In recent years, fiberglass and even graphite canes have made their appearance for those more interested in durability than tradition.

Canes call for considerable care in their use and should not be used unless you are very familiar with both the specific cane and the submissive’s limits. More than one budding affair almost came a cropper over too enthusiastic application of a cane too early in a relationship. The feeling from a cane is much more intense than that from a paddle or, even, most whips, and a cane stroke, particularly where it passes over an existing welt, can draw blood.

Returning to the traditional whip. In my opinion, the best whip for a novice is a cat whip with five to ten broad, moderately heavy tails between 12 and 18 inches long. It is a fallacy that thinner tails are less injurious. Actually, they cut and abrade the skin very easily. One of the most feared whips in my collection is a simple ring with four leather shoelaces attached to it with hitches at their midpoints, making an eight-tailed whip.

On the other hand, a weighty, wide strip will make a satisfying splat when it hits and sting a bit but won’t cut the skin. Lighter whips also have the disadvantage of making the dominant work harder.

Suggested Reading

Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning,
Janet W. Hardy, Greenery Press

Flogging,
Joseph Bean, Greenery Press

Using a whip.
There are several standard techniques for using a whip. The standard stroke comes largely from the muscles in the back and arm. The motion is much like a child would use spreading on paint with a paintbrush. Because several of the body’s major muscles are involved, it can be quite a powerful stroke. It is generally delivered diagonally, but it can be delivered at anything from zero to ninety degrees from the vertical.

The sling-shot stroke is more precise. The handle of the whip is held away from the body in one hand and the ends of the tails are held close to the face in the other. The handle is moved farther away until a degree of tension is built up in the tails. When the tension feels right, the tails are released and the handle is moved toward the submissive with a snap. Just before the tails strike, the handle is jerked back. With a little practice, a whipper can become quite accurate with this motion. However, the impact is deceptive. It is considerably harder than it seems, so careful monitoring is advisable.

While the sling shot stroke is best for accuracy, the spin provides the most continuous stimulation. The whip is held by the end of its handle or by its handle lanyard, if it has one, and is spun like a biblical sling. If this is used on the breasts, you should place your hand under the submissive’s chin and lift the head up and back. This not only moves the vulnerable face out of primary danger but if the strokes are hitting too high you will feel them on your hand before any damage is done.

It should be obvious, but I think I should point out that the whipping area should be well lighted. To have the kind of control you need, you have to be able to see what you are doing. If you want darkness for dramatic effect, use a spotlight to illuminate the submissive and leave the rest of the room dark.

The secret to a satisfactory and safe whipping is to hit only fleshy muscled meat. You don’t want to hit skin that is tightly pulled over a bone nor do you want to hit any place where internal organs are close to the surface. The primary safe zones are from below the shoulders to above the lower middle of the back (not including the spine), below the upper curve of the buttock to above the knees. These are places where a moderate whipping is unlikely to do any permanent damage. The biceps and the back muscle of the lower legs are also acceptable targets. Extreme danger zones are kidneys, spine, joints, hands and feet. When whipping the upper back, avoid letting the whip hit inside the arm pit. There is a nerve junction there that is quite vulnerable. Naturally, these danger area apply when something other than a whip, like a strap or cane, are being used. In these areas, you have to be very careful that the ends of a whip don’t wrap around the body and hit there.