The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) (3 page)

THE BIG GUNS

Friday
20
th
October

T
hat was it! She hated him. No, that just wasn’t true. She wished she could hate him. Damn, this thing was eating her up. She’d cried in bed last night and that was just not acceptable. He was a teacher at the end of the day, her feelings aside, he shouldn’t ignore her without good reason, it just wasn’t professional. He was making her no longer enjoy English, a subject that she used to love… okay, honestly she was enjoying it, but for reasons nothing to do with the teaching and everything to do with the infuriating man himself.

Today she was stepping it up a gear. The English essay he set a month ago was due to be handed in that morning. Alice had spent hours writing it. Going over her key points again and again, backing them up with relevant quotes and thought inspiring suggestion. She was proud of it, probably the best work she’d ever done. But she wasn’t going to hand it in. No way.

Ignore that, Mr Chambers…

Just to put the icing on the cake or maybe it would feel a lot more like the last nail in her coffin, she was going to misbehave. If she had to, if he drove her to it she’d make a scene. The good girl, gone bad was going to kick off… maybe.

‘Have you done the essay?’ Alice casually asked Emily, her good friend she sat next to in Tom’s lesson as they unpacked their books, took their seats and waited. He was always a little late for class.

‘Yeah, it was really hard though. At first I didn’t know if I liked Jane or not, then I decided I did. I wrote about eight sides of A4,’ she smiled, obviously proud of her effort.

‘I decided I didn’t like her,’ Alice stated bluntly, looking out over the playing field absentmindedly.

‘Did you? That’s interesting, I would have definitely said you would like her. Strong, independent and a feminist I thought she’d be your muse. How much did you write, probably a whole novel?’ Emily pushed her arm mockingly.

‘I didn’t.’

‘Yeah, I know I was joking,’ she whispered as Mr Chambers walked into the room.

‘No, I didn’t write the essay,’ Alice smiled sadly.

‘What? Why?’ she said under her breath, ‘…you always do the homework.’

‘I don’t know?’ Alice looked at Tom. This felt like a sad day to be her. It just didn’t sit well, any of it, but she was going to have to do it anyway.

Mr Chambers removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He took the well-loved copy of
Jane Eyre
from his desk drawer and opened it.

‘Everyone get your books out. Chapter fourteen, we’ll start with some reading aloud,’ Tom started reading from the book his voice again catching her off guard, it was so incredibly sexy. He was so sensual. His lips, his face all so inviting… did she really want to make him mad?

No choice.


Alice reached into her bag and made a point of looking for something. He glanced momentarily in her direction, but continued. A few minutes and a lots deep breaths and false starts later she took out a packet of Skittles. She proceeded to open them noisily and place two of the colourful little fruit sweets into her mouth.

Emily looked at her in horror and sidled towards the other end of the desk, clearly wanting no association with Alice’s sudden and uncharacteristic madness.

Tom stopped reading. The class that was already silent, felt more so, if that was even possible? Some people looked at Mr Chambers anticipating his reaction. While others just gaped at her.

Tom looked at her, but didn’t meet her eyes full on. His face turned red and she thought he blew out a slow breath. His jaw tightened a little.

Wait for it.

She braced herself
.

‘Save that for break time, Miss Rutherford,’ was all he managed as he turned back to the book. ‘In fact would you like to be the first to read to the class? You continue with Jane’s lines and I’ll pick up Mr Rochester’s,’ his tone cut at her like a sharp blade.

‘Yes,’ she squeaked.

‘Stand up,’ he ordered.

She stood quickly. That really threw her. If it had been one of the boys the sweets would be in the bin at the very least. She began reading nervously where he’d left off.

“
I am willing to amuse you, if I can, sir -
quite
willing; but I cannot introduce a topic, because how do I know what will interest you? Ask me questions, and I will do my best to answer them,
” Alice paused from reading and looked up. Tom was looking at her. A shadow of arrogance laced his expression.

“
Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I have the right to be a little masterful, abrupt, perhaps exacting, sometimes, on the grounds that I stated, namely, that I am old enough to be your father,”
he paused and moved his hand to the back of his neck,
“and that I have battled through varied experience with many men of many nations, and roamed over half the globe, while you have lived quietly with one set of people in one house?”
Tom looked a little flustered now and he walked slowly towards the other side of the room.

Alice carried on,
“Do as you please, sir.”

“That is no answer; or rather it is very irritating, because a very evasive one. Reply clearly,”
Tom’s voice was all she heard now.

She felt hot, flush. It felt suddenly incredibly intimate, like they were the only two people in the room. She looked over at where he stood and watched him waiting on her, breathing and waiting.

“I don’t think, sir, you have the right to command me, merely because you are older than I,”
Alice smiled she couldn’t help it, a small smile,
“or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.”

‘Very… good Alice, um thank you.’ Mr Chambers cleared his throat, ‘read the next two pages in silence, I’ll be back in a minute. I’ve forgotten some worksheets,’ he strode out of the classroom. Annoyed? Banging the door shut behind him.

‘Skittles? What the fuck?’ Emily spat out the minute the coast was clear.

Alice sat back down, ignoring her friend. Thoughts flicking over rapidly in her mind. What was that? That was a reaction… wasn’t it?

A FINE LINE

Friday
20
th
October

T
om burst out of the room into the corridor and slammed the door shut behind him.

Shit, that was too bloody loud.

He paced quickly to the English resource cupboard, near the top of the stairs and stepped inside.

‘Get your shit together, Chambers, she’s just a girl,’ he whispered to himself.

‘Oh yeah read aloud – great fucking idea,
“old enough to be your father,”
brilliant!’ he cursed himself aggressively.

What was she doing? This wasn’t her normal attitude.

Tom reached for some old worksheets that weren’t even about
Jane Eyre
so he could go back in with something in his hand to cover his outburst. He didn’t even know why he’d had to get out of there? It was just something about the way she smiled at him. He has hot, he needed a drink and he really didn’t need to finish this lesson.

He straightened his tie minutes later and started walking back towards his room. When he entered he didn’t even look in her direction, but he caught the light sandy shade of her hair out of the corner of his eye. He reached his desk and sat down, opened his drawer and slung the copy of the novel into it.

Five minutes before the lunchtime bell, Tom consulted his homework diary and asked for all essays to be handed to the front. He counted them in and was impressed at the length of some of them. It turned out there were some very bright students in this class.

‘Why is there two missing, people?’ Tom asked stiffly, looking up.

‘My printer ran out of ink, sir, my mum’s getting a new cartridge today. So can I hand it in tomorrow please?’ David Pearce shifted in his seat awkwardly.

‘First thing lad and if it’s not I’ll come looking for you, okay? A-levels are hard things to achieve, they require forward planning and there’s always pen and paper.’

‘Okay sir, thanks.’

‘Who is the other?’ Tom put is pen down and scanned the room, he got to Alice and she was looking down at her feet and her friend Emily was staring at her very strangely.

No, please…

‘Me, sir,’ she mumbled raising her head slightly and looking like she was about to be tortured.

‘Alice…but why…why?’ he stammered foolishly.

‘I don’t know?’ she shrugged with tears in her eyes.

All her classmates were looking at her now. He had absolutely no idea what to do.

‘Right, stay behind a minute after this lesson. We need to have a chat,’ he ordered a little colder than he’d wanted to.

He had been pushed into it. How on earth could he ignore a series of incidents with a student without trying to find out what was wrong? He couldn’t let it slide when he would’ve all too quickly picked any other student up on any such indiscretion. His bloody teaching ethics had really bitten him hard this time.

He wanted nothing less than he wanted this chat with her.

Count to ten…

He stood at the back of the room, neatly stacking the essays into a pile as the last student left. The bell had gone three minutes ago.

He was stalling.

Ever since the first spark of something he’d felt when Alice Rutherford had looked at him he had avoided her at every turn. He just couldn’t afford to feel it again. He didn’t want anything confirmed, or to be reminded about that moment. He could pretend that he’d made it all up as long as it never happened again.

But now here she was, sitting in his classroom waiting for a lecture or at least a conversation about what was wrong. He believed that as she was so bright and her commitment to education so steadfast he could sail through the next year without ever having to talk to her one-on-one about anything. She would continue to do well and he could watch safely from afar. He’d been foolish.

Tom turned reluctantly and started to walk to his desk that she was sitting in front of now. Her back to him, long honey coloured hair fell down around her small frame in gentle waves. He was a grown man, an experienced teacher, yet he felt nervous.

‘Right, Alice would you like to explain to me why you were about twenty minutes late for my lesson yesterday, eating in class today and no homework to hand in?’ he smiled slightly, trying to soften his words. Because looking at her pained expression and the fact she wouldn’t look at him – she appeared much more nervous than he felt.

She’s beautiful…

Pervert.

‘Um,’ she fidgeted, ‘I don’t know.’

‘What do you mean you don’t know?’ he smiled again trying to coax it out of her. If she had been anyone else, by now he would have lost it, but for the life of him he couldn’t raise his voice to this little creature.

‘I just, I…’ she wrung her hands together, ‘I just felt like you didn’t want me in your class, that I had done something to annoy you. You never speak to me?’ she said, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes directly, close up and desperately intimate for only the second time in more than a month
.

Fuck.

That
was his first thought. He was actually… fuck, he was actually crazy and the sudden rush of blood had his penis trying to tell him something he didn’t ever want to hear.

Her eyes were so amazing, but not just her eyes, her whole face. Her crystal clear skin, little pixie nose and her full wide mouth. She looked so close to tears, but there was steel in her expression. He had to look away again as he was on the verge of obvious and instant arousal. Thank god the desk was between them.

‘Alice, why do you think I don’t want you in my class?’ he asked, willing his voice not to give him away.

She looked at him again, forcing him to meet her gaze and shrugged.

‘Well, you never talk to me and I always feel like you avoid me. I’m sorry about that first day in registration, I wasn’t deliberately trying to disobey you. I was just wat…’ the words fell from her like she had opened a flood gate, then stopped suddenly.

‘Of course I don’t avoid you, Alice.’

‘I love English, sir. I chose to do it for A-level because it’s important to me. I feel a bit like what’s the point in…’

Tom lifted his index finger up towards her lips mid-sentence to stop her from saying more. It was a totally instinctive thing to do as he watched her lips move with the words that so clearly had upset her. His hand froze an inch from the soft cushions and a split second later the reality of what he had nearly done hit him.

He pulled his hand back too fast and thought he let out a low groan. The surprise on Alice’s face was instant.

Oh my god what the fuck have I done?

‘I’m so sorry Alice, you were just getting upset and…’ he could feel his face getting redder as he carried on. So afraid she would run from the room screaming. Cover it, he had to cover it quickly.

‘Of course I like you. You’re such a good student, always great in class. I’m sorry if I gave that impression, but really it couldn’t be further from the truth.’

Tom didn’t know what had angered him the most? Alice’s belief he hated her or the fact that he had nearly touched a student in a way that could be deemed wholly inappropriate.

He looked at her now, needing to gauge how she felt about what had just happened. Jesus, he was sweating.

She looked at him directly again and smiled.

She wasn’t afraid.

‘I’m sorry sir,’ she breathed lightly. He felt like she was looking into his soul, reading all the things he was trying to hide from her.

‘You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s my stupid fault not paying enough attention to a student’s needs… new school and all that? But it’s no excuse,’ he looked at her solemnly trying to remove any hint of emotion from his voice.

‘I did write the essay and I’ll hand it in tomorrow. I’m sorry for being childish,’ she blushed and he wanted to grab her. He wanted to grab her and make her blush all over that little body.

Why was he letting these thoughts run free?

‘Did you?’ Tom smiled and shook his head, ‘Just making a protest?’

‘Yes, something like that.’

‘I really am sorry, Alice. I hope we’ve cleared the air. I’m here for all my students, especially the ones with commitment and talent like you.’

‘Fresh start, sir?’ she said as she stood up, holding out her hand like a man to him. He honestly didn’t think he could get any hotter or more uncomfortable if he tried. He took her hand and shook it firmly twice.

‘Fresh start,’ he echoed. Wishing like hell she would stop calling him, sir
.

She smiled her wide grin, turned towards the door and left him sitting there. With a little girly wave of her hand, she was gone.

Tom sat back in his chair and looked down at his hands. They were shaking, really shaking. He made fists so tight that his knuckles turned white, willing them to stop.

If she had been any other woman in the world making him feel the way he felt right now, as she walked out of the room he would have dragged her back in, lay her out on top of his desk and got to know her so quickly, so fucking thoroughly she wouldn’t have had time to think. But she wasn’t any other woman, she was barely even a woman and she was his student.

Tom needed to get a handle on this, and he was sure he could… he had to. But it didn’t stop him from going home that night and finishing the relationship with Lizzie, the woman he’d been dating for the last two months.

Why?

Because the thoughts he was battling with now felt a whole lot like cheating and that just didn’t sit well.