The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) (9 page)

‘But I’m a virgin, Tom,’ she mocked him slightly, ‘and if we’re being honest I’ve never been any further than that kiss we had. You’re my teacher, twice my age as you pointed out and you can’t deal with that, even if I can,’ Alice sighed at the absurdity of it all.

She let her head fall heavily against his wide chest. An old grey t-shirt stretched tightly over the contours of his hard upper body. She watched the sinews in his lower arms flex near her head as he moved to stroke her hair softly. He was so powerful and real.

‘Honestly I don’t know if I can deal with it, Alice,’ he whispered close to her ear, as he rubbed his cheek against the top of her head, ‘but everything in my body is telling me to kiss you again.’

A LINE IN THE SAND

Thursday
9
th
November

T
om’s breaths came hard.

What’re
you saying?

‘It is?’ she answered, lifting her head and fixing him with her big emerald eyes that were filled with confusion and doubt.

‘Absolutely, how could it not?’

Alice moved closer to his face.

‘But first I want to give you something. You know, in case I mess up and this all goes wrong again,’ Tom moved to the duffel bag that lay open on his bed and fished out a narrow burgundy box and handed it to her, ‘happy birthday.’

‘Really, you got me a gift?’

‘I’d buy you the whole shop if you’d let me. I wasn’t sure if I’d have the chance to give it to you, but…’ he smiled and shrugged.

Tom watched Alice gingerly prise open the little lid. She was so delicate and precious. Could he really do this with her again and hope to survive it?

‘Oh my goodness, it’s beautiful, thank you,’ she looked down at the small gold antique bracelet. Attached to one of the links was a tiny ceramic teapot, painted with pretty pink flowers. Her index finger lightly skimming it with awe, ‘I can’t believe you got this for me.’

He had no idea what to get her, or why he felt he had the right to get her anything at all? A mad, Irish trait of not being able to contain their feelings very well, prevailed and he had walked passed an antique shop and it had caught his eye from the window. The little teapot reminded him of the Mad Hatter’s tea party from
Alice in Wonderland
.

‘I’m not trying to buy you, Alice,’ he honestly wasn’t.

‘If you were, I’d sell,’ she laughed that breathy airy laugh that never failed to turn him on.

Alice raised her eyes to his face and they were filled with longing.

‘Kiss me,’ her lips trembled as she said the words.

This time he didn’t think, he just moved. Her face in his hands, so soft and warm. His lips met hers and instant heat erupted. She wasn’t so shy this time, her tongue searched for his first, she was trying to lead, but Tom wasn’t going to let her, he liked to be in control. She was shaking again and god help him that turned him on.

When she had told him she had never done anything with anyone else he had felt himself harden with ownership of her. The thought that someone else had dared to kiss her only moments ago made him crazy to remove any memory of it from her mind.

His fingers played with the flowers on the side of her head and he moved his mouth over hers. He pulled away then and she moaned. He scattered little kisses along her jaw line and ear. Tasting her fresh skin and feeling it tremble under his lips.

‘Nice,’ she whispered slightly breathless.

‘Keep the praise coming and I’ll never stop,’ he chuckled.

Just the thought of being able to please her or excite her was like a bloody Olympic gold to him. She made him feel like
he
was seventeen and kissing the prettiest girl alive and it felt amazing.

Tom could feel the jumping pulse in her neck as he kissed down onto her shoulders. Alice moved her hands and placed them on his chest, he could feel her little fingers moving over the wide expanse of it. It felt as if with every touch she was learning and memorising him.

‘I can’t believe I’m with you. After the other night, when you left me I was sure that this was never going to happen again,’ she placed her palms to his stomach and looked up at him.

‘I was wrong to do that, Alice. I was scared of how I felt when I was with you. I know what you want, I want it too, but whether we can take it there… I don’t know? I can’t say I won’t freak out again because of the circumstances, but I won’t shut you out,’ he kissed her forehead.

‘I’ll try not to freak out too,’ she laughed.

‘Freak out whenever you want. You have an excuse. You’re carrying on with your fucking teacher. If even for a second you ever feel uncomfortable we stop, okay? We stop it all,’ he needed her to understand what they were doing wasn’t normal and she had a way out anytime she needed it.

‘It’s really weird to hear you swear all the time, you don’t expect it from a teacher,’ she laughed.

Oh
.

‘Sorry, I didn’t think. It’s an Irish thing I guess. I’ll try and kerb it.’

Tom felt like a bit of a fool. He hadn’t even realised he was letting that happen, with all the heated conversation it must have been slipping out. His father swore like a trooper and it seemed he was starting to follow suit.

‘Don’t, I like it. The side of you that isn’t a teacher I mean. I like that you’re yourself. The way you talk, the words, it… it kind of excites me,’ she looked away slightly embarrassed.

‘You’re amazing,’ he grabbed her round the waist and pulled her close to him.

‘I know in a while you’re going to say,
“you have to go back to your room soon, Alice”,
she mimicked his accent to perfection then laughed.

He laughed too.

‘So this is going to sound really adolescent… but… can you take this off?’ she said and lightly tugged at his top.

Tom was shocked, ‘we don’t want to take this too fast, we’re on a school trip, someone could knock on this door at any time, baby.’

He still didn’t know how to do this and with six other teachers only metres away from them he felt massively on edge.

‘I’m not asking for anything else, Tom. I just want to see you,’ her eyes pleaded.

‘Want to inspect the merchandise do you?’ he joked pulling the t-shirt over his head and tossing it on the bed behind them.

He watched Alice back away from him slowly. The back of her knees found his bed, she sat abruptly, and she just looked at him. He had always been fairly confident about his body but no one had ever really studied him before as she seemed to be doing now.

‘Wow,’ she said after long moments.

‘Wow?’

‘You’re perfect. So, I don’t know… manly?’ she smiled but didn’t look away from his body. Her eyes moved slowly south to his jeans. He knew his erection would be very visible but he didn’t move to hide it, they both knew what was happening. The time for hiding things was done.

‘Manly… that’s lucky,’ he tried to lighten the atmosphere even though every muscle in his body was corded and ready pounce. Ready to push her back on the little single bed and give her a different type of education.

‘Can I touch you?’

The uncertainty in her voice serving as a reminder of her inexperience.

‘Alice, I don’t know how much self-control you think I have?’

He walked to her anyway. He wanted to do everything she asked, however hard it would test him. He needed her to feel that she was an equal in this thing that was developing between them.

‘What do you mean?’ she said smiling seductively. She knew what he meant. She just wanted him to say it.

Okay, two could play at that game. He stopped in front of her, his knees touching hers and looked down at her. Alice’s face was alive with passion and in the lamp light she looked more angelic than ever.

God help him.

‘Well if you touch me I might not be able to control my reaction. I might turn alpha male on you, push you back on this pillow,’ he cast a look behind him at the pillows and her eyes followed his, captivated, ‘I might climb on the bed with you,’ he was wondering how far he could take this, but the look on her face told him she was enjoying hearing the words, so he continued, ‘…on top of you and push your knees open,’ he nudged his knees against hers and she shuddered. This was by far the most erotic experience of his life and all he was doing was talking. He couldn’t get over the way he felt when he was with her, ‘…cover your small body with mine…’

Alice lifted her right hand to his chest and moved it slowly down over his belly, his muscles flexed under her touch.

‘My fingers might find the button of your jeans,’ he paused as her own hand hovered on the waist band of his jeans and he caught her just as she was about to move her fingers lower.

She looked up at him with impatience.

‘It’s probably time you were getting back,’ he smiled tightly.

‘Just let me touch you, please.’

‘You can. Just not now. Do you know how hard it is saying that in this situation?’ he lifted her chin with his fingers to look at him, ‘…very!’

‘So don’t say it,’ she lifted her hand again and placed it directly over his penis before he could catch her. He sucked in a harsh breath. Even with his jeans between them, the feel of her hand on him was overwhelming.

‘It’s really warm,’ she said pressing her palm and fingers over it, cupping slightly, ‘and big.’

Oh god,
she was every man’s dream. His ego would never get enough of this.

‘Not that you have anything to compare it to?’ he said, shaking his head and smiling.

‘I know that. But it is big?’

Was she asking him?

‘I’ve never had any complaints.’

Shit
.

As soon as he said it he wished he hadn’t, ‘I didn’t mean it like that Alice, I’m sorry.’

Alice placed her hands either side of her on the bed and stared at him, ‘Tom, you don’t have to apologise for having had sex before you know. I understand you’re an adult male. I don’t want you to edit what you say to me, because you think it may not conform to the romantic fantasy I hold of you in my head.’

Tom again was taken aback by her intelligence and understanding, he really had to try to stop underestimating her.

‘So, will you take these off too?’ she coaxed, softly rubbing her hand down the leg of his jeans then up again resting it between his legs. He let his head roll back onto his shoulder and his jaw tensed.

‘I can’t... I want to carry on, more than you will ever know, believe me, but it’s too risky. When we’re back at home, we can arrange to meet up. In a hotel? Anywhere you want? But away from eyes and ears. Somewhere that will make you feel special, not here in a scabby room, single bed and no heating. Don’t you want music and candles? Clean sheets? Room service?’ he asked.

‘All I want is you, like this, beautiful and masculine and losing your precious control,’ she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his hard belly.

‘Oh god, I’m getting dressed,’ he stepped away quickly.

Alice laughed as he wrestled with his t-shirt. Her laugh, he thought, was like a tiny bell ringing in the wind. He turned to look at her as he slipped the t-shirt over his head and blew her an invisible kiss. He was not only losing control with her, he thought, he was dangerously close to losing something else.

‘Tom, do you want me to take my top off, let you inspect the merchandise too?’ They both burst out laughing and he jumped on her, flung her back on the bed and held her tightly in his arms until she really had to go back to her room.

HOME

Saturday
11
th
November

A
lice sat in her bedroom staring at the scrap of white paper in her hand. Six digits scrawled in blue biro, Tom’s number.

He had parked up behind the bus when they arrived home last night. He waited for her to pass and had shoved it into her hand as everyone else filed from the coach to meet waiting parents. She’d put it into her pocket and as soon as she went up to her room that evening she had looked at it, stared, put it down and then picked it up again. It was her proof that this was happening, evidence of what they had shared over the last five days. She couldn’t quite get her head around the things they had talked about, the kisses they had shared and actually touching this man’s body.

It was strange, when she had been away from this house and seeing him all the time, no parents, no lessons, she had felt like a different person in a different life. In that life, she was confident and funny. She could talk to Tom, her teacher who wasn’t really her teacher anymore and he found her amusing and sexy. It was like having no rules and no fear.

She had wanted him so fervently, his touch, she felt like she would die without it. Anything that he asked she would have done and again she had that overwhelming feeling that she had entered the adult world and had started to experience what it felt like to let go. To let everything inside of her out and now she had tasted it, she craved it more than ever.

Sitting in her bedroom, she looked around. This was her haven, her sanctuary, but it seemed much smaller than before she left. Her teddy bears and beaded necklaces, her CD collection and gymnastics medals, even the clothes that hung in her wardrobe, it all looked and seemed like it was someone else’s stuff… a child’s.

When her parents had asked her about the trip and what she had enjoyed, she had answered them on autopilot reeling off in a teenage chirpy way, how she had liked this or that activity. Camping out, learning how to light an outdoor fire and midnight feasts with her friends.

They had looked at each other in a proud – patting each other on the back for doing such a
fine job of raising her –
kind of way. She had smiled at them sweetly, filled with genuine warmth and love, thanked them for letting her go and disappeared upstairs to shower.

But not in that whole time had the vision of Tom dressed only in jeans, his arousal so evident, and his eyes so lustful and full of dangerous promise, ever left her thoughts.

Their questions floating past her ears just long enough for her to form a generic childlike answer before they were once more replaying the sound of his beautiful voice whispering he wanted her.

‘I want no one else to have you…’

The Alice she had happily been living as for the last seventeen years had changed, probably irreversibly so. She supposed this was a side effect of the unconventional path to growing up she had found herself upon, but it was one that she was following now no matter what.