The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) (5 page)

TRICK OR TREAT

Tuesday
31
st
October

T
om had seen Alice from a distance, sitting under the staircase as he patrolled for smokers. He had found two of them in the last few minutes and for a split second he thought she was smoking too. He soon realised she was just playing with her hair. He wanted to move on, but he didn’t. Something had him fixed to the spot and watching. He stood out of her view in a sheltered doorway, it was dark and he was sure no one would see him.

She looked lost in thought and he watched her for probably more than ten fucking minutes. Watched her as she twisted those beautiful strands of gold around her finger and then released them in some kind of hypnotic routine.

People ran past her, but it didn’t draw her from her contemplation for more than a second. He wondered what she was thinking about? He would have given anything at that moment to be inside her head. It occurred to him that he really didn’t know anything about her, just the helpless idiotic way she made him feel. He wanted to know her though. Understand her sense of humour, her dreams and the things she loved.

You’re a crazy stalker!

Tom could’ve avoided all contact with her that night. As he tried to on a daily basis, but almost with a mind of their own, his damn legs walked him briskly over to where she sat.

He had spoken first, like some adolescent sap trying to instigate a conversation with a girl way out of his league, but that wasn’t the problem here, if only it were.

He thought that she flirted with him… maybe… a little bit then?

He had looked at her body way too much, but Jesus how could you not? The way the cat suit stretched over her breasts and the black of the mask against the green emerald of her eyes made her look more intoxicating than any drug and way more dangerous to his health. He tried to dampen images of pushing her back against the cold wall and capturing those red lips under his own. Pulling her little waist against his erection and feasting on the surprise he knew would be present on her face.

Tom had noticed nearly every lad eyeing her up in that gym tonight and she’d just seemed oblivious to it all. While the whole time it had him mad with jealousy. What business did he have feeling jealous?

Moments after he’d approached Tom left her under the stairs. Their brief exchange over. He walked away slowly but he was sure she watched him leave because his skin felt on fire and every muscle in his body was tense and burning for her.

He couldn’t for the life of him remember a word of what they had talked about? Just the way she had looked at him and the way she smiled. The hard edge of his arousal and his growing need to touch her.

Tom felt totally lost. He felt like he had stepped over some invisible line, even though it had all been innocent enough on the surface, he knew he wasn’t fooling anyone. She had felt it and he sure as hell had felt it.

Halloween, he feared, had fucked him a little more where Alice was concerned.

What did he hope to gain from this situation? It was impossible and fundamentally wrong, yet she had him coming back time and time again to create moments that he couldn’t deny meant something to him on a level that they really shouldn’t.

It felt more than the need for sex. More than owning her. Why had his body and part of his brain chosen now to become helplessly attracted to a woman that he couldn’t possess?

All the women in the damn world and he’d picked Alice Rutherford, sexy as hell in a PVC cat suit that her parents should never have let her out in…

Halloween had definitely well and truly fucked him.

CONCENTRATE, AND ASK AGAIN

Saturday
4
th
November

A
lice looked at her wardrobe and then back at the bag, surely she could fit more of it into the tightly packed rucksack. She needed more stuff. She needed to have all bases covered. Hill End was on Monday so she had two days to plan what she was going to take with her.

It was also going to be her birthday while they were away. Her class had clocked this thanks to Cara’s big mouth and they were already talking parties and drinking.

Hill End was a bit like an outward bound centre. Every year the sixth form students would get the chance to experience the joys of the great outdoors: hiking, camping and making fires. Orienteering, cooking, team games and camaraderie with your fellow students. It sounded wonderful, right? Why then the school chose to do it in the winter was a total mystery to her?

Apparently it was always freezing, muddy and drink-fuelled. The boys were looking forward to it with vigour and the girls with trepidation. Alice was relieved to hear that you only had to camp outdoors for one night and rest of the week you bunked down in dormitories with running water… but no heating. You were even advised to bring hot water bottles with you to keep your body temperature at a safe level. Alice’s mum had been out that morning and got one for her. Its cover was a knitted owl with big haunting eyes and despite its childlike appearance, Alice loved it. Her dad had given her his sleeping bag he took night fishing – army issue – so she should be warm enough.

She had asked her mum tentatively to buy a bottle of wine for her and her friends to toast her birthday. Alice was often allowed to drink wine at home with Sunday lunch, but only one glass. Her mum laughed, kissed her on the head and left the room. It was worth a shot at least.

Alice knew the boys would bring alcohol, she just didn’t much fancy sharing it with them. In all honesty she would have preferred to leave it alone all together but it was going to be her birthday… peer pressure ruled and dictated that she was suddenly the best reason for a party her class could find and she was being dragged along for the ride.

Parties at Hill End were forbidden by the teachers and they were known for scouring the fields and dormitories sniffing out unlicensed activity for punishment, well that or they were getting pissed themselves while one was left on duty.

It was also traditionally an excuse for people to have sex. The stories that filtered down through the year groups gone before seemed to describe it as a rite of passage or something? Alice was not going to be one of them, but she could have probably made a list of suspects whom she thought would be.

Unfortunately, the man she was interested in was older, a handsome teacher who had undoubtedly found his rite of passage many years ago.

It made Alice sick to think that she may have convinced herself he felt something for her. The way he looked at her sometimes, she had deluded herself into thinking it was a sexual thing. An innocent brush of a leg had become foreplay in the warped world she existed in. Then at the party the other night… the moments they’d shared? Was it all in her imagination or not? Did he know she was obsessed with him? Did he joke about it in the staffroom with the other teachers? Or did he think of her in all the ways she thought of him?

If only.

She asked her
Magic 8-
Ball
over and over again, ‘Is Tom thinking about me now?’ and its answer, quite creepily was always…

IT IS CERTAIN.

But really how far could you trust a fortune telling piece of retro plastic suspended in water?

Of course it didn’t stop her from asking a second question though, ‘Will I ever have sex with him?’

She turned it over and watched the many sided shape float to the surface…

SIGNS POINT TO YES.

God, how did four words have the power to make her stomach jump and goose bumps pop out all over her skin? She wanted to ask the same question again just for confirmation but feared it would say OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD this time so she left it alone. Realising how crazy she looked she turned to her clothes again.

What could she wear to entice a grown man in the freezing cold?

She had no idea?

Her mind flitted between random subjects. Should she just forget it and agree to go out on a date with Steve, a boy from her business studies class who liked her. He had asked her out twice in two weeks and before Mr Chambers had arrived she would’ve considered it. He was funny and popular and unless she wanted to look like a virgin forever then she should really start dating. But with the feelings she had for Tom, there was no way she could do that, this thing would end up breaking her heart though, she was quite sure of it.

‘You’re taking those to Hill End?’ Stephanie stuck her head round the door as Alice was stuffing a pair of denim hot pants into her bag.

‘No, and why do you care anyway?’ Alice said quickly pulling them out again.

‘What’s going on with you, Alice? Are you seeing someone and not told me?’

‘Of course not, do you think I have time for boys whilst doing five A-levels?’

Alice stood with her hands on her hips facing her sister and couldn’t let the truth push its way out of her mouth, no matter how much she wanted to share it.

That was the other thing that puzzled her, if she didn’t truly believe that deep down this thing might actually be mutual, why was she so afraid to utter a word of it to anyone?

‘Jeez it only takes ten minutes Alice, you make it sound like sex will take you all the way up to revision week,’ she replied sarcastically, shrugging her shoulders. Just before she disappeared back round the door she added, ‘You know I’ve got that really cute red halter neck top that would just drive him crazy! Whoever he is, if you want to borrow it?’ Laughing she left the room.

Alice laughed too. Her sister really was a nightmare. But that red top was pretty nice. It wasn’t a cat suit admittedly, but hell who likes being seen in the same thing twice anyway?

HILL END

Tuesday
7
th
November

M
r Chambers raised the axe again and sent it chopping powerfully through the heavy piece of wood resting on the block in front of him.

Alice sat transfixed unable to look away. The flames of the campfire danced in front of her, lapping at the air and its crackling voice cut through the chatter of the people around her.

She could see only him.

Students were milling around, filling mugs with hot coffee and roasting sausages on skewers. Old tree trunks had been placed like benches around the fire and the night well and truly had set in.

It was cold, but sitting there beside the fires wonderful and seductive heat you couldn’t feel it. Across the clearing, a little way away from her, in perfect view… Tom worked steadily at his task.

He appeared different away from the classroom, from behind a desk, more real but also more distant. Like he actually had an existence beyond teaching, which of course he did.

She watched as he crouched down to gather the wood into a large pile. His denim jeans pulling snugly against his bum and thighs. He wore heavy walking boots and a blue and white check shirt with its sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Despite it being freezing he didn’t look cold at all, he looked at home.

Alice imagined him chopping wood in a harsh Irish winter. A little cabin behind him with smoke billowing from its rickety chimney and inside the cabin, a small bunk with rough sheets that he slept on fully dressed to stay warm and ready for danger.

She smiled to herself, it was like a scene from one of her mum’s
Mills and Boon
novels. A romantic Gaelic warrior takes a woman into his masculine environment, cherishes her and all her feminine differences and they make passionate animal love until their flesh is burning with desire, shielding them from the reality of the bitter terrain surrounding them…

Tom glanced up and looked in her direction pulling her from her daydream. Alice realised she was still staring at him and quickly looked down at her hot chocolate which was resting between her hands. She didn’t want to look up again, but her body was pulling her eyes up, up, up… and he was still looking too. He smiled at her and raised his hand.

Be still my beating heart…

The evening passed by in a slow hazy blur of smoking wood and huddled bodies as it turned colder. Mrs Pope strummed enthusiastically on her guitar, trying to get everyone involved in a campfire song. Alice was convinced the teachers had already started drinking as they seemed more chilled out and happy, laughing openly and ignoring the odd swear word or innuendo from the boys.

At 10.30pm Mr Chambers announced it was time to turn in and everyone headed to their allocated dormitories which were spread out over a square mile of forest, so you really got the feeling of being at one with nature. It reminded Alice of that
Friday 13
th
movie, so not really the feeling she wanted to have right now, out here in the middle of nowhere. God, if she thought too much about that she’d get freaked out and never sleep tonight.

Basic. That was the only word that could describe the bedrooms. They were large wooden rooms on stilts with four steps leading up to the door. Eight small bunks were housed inside, four along each wall. They had chosen their beds earlier in the day and set their sleeping bags and pillows out on them and apart from the bright designs of some of the quilts the room was nothing more than an army barracks.

They had torches, but that was their only source of light.

‘Oh my god I’ve never been this freezing!’ Ellie shivered getting into her sleeping bag.

‘Me too, I can’t believe they let us sleep here,’ Alice screeched jumping into bed.

‘I think one of the teachers will be along in a bit to make sure we’re all in bed and not drinking or whatever. Then when they’ve gone I think some of the boys are coming down from their dorm to ours,’ Lucy whispered from across the room. She was one of the girls that was way more experienced and worldly then the rest of them. She could easily pass for eighteen. Boobs, smile and attitude, she never needed a fake ID for anything.

‘Yeah, I heard them say that too,’ Emily joined in, ‘apparently Steve is so hot for you, Alice!’

‘Really? Well I don’t think that’s ever going to happen,’ she said shyly.

‘Why not, he’s fit and you’ve got to at least
kiss
someone soon?’ Lucy came over with her torch and sat on the edge of Alice’s bed.

‘Hey, I have kissed a boy you know, I’m not totally weird,’ Alice joked.

‘You know what I mean. These are our best years and you should experiment a little. You too, Ellie. I think Spencer likes you,’ Lucy continued placing a square of Galaxy into her mouth.

‘Spencer has braces. I have braces. Could you imagine the disaster that could be? We could get hooked together or something?’ Ellie laughed awkwardly.

Talking with Lucy always made Alice feel a little wilder even if it was for just a short while. She made things seem easy. Like there was never a reason not to do something. Maybe she should kiss Steve? She really couldn’t moon over her teacher in a fantasy world for the rest of her life, when he probably had a girlfriend already.

‘Lucy, have you had sex?’ Alice’s bed had suddenly become a public meeting area as Cara jumped over in her sleeping bag like she was competing in a sack race.

Lucy smiled confidently, ‘I have. A few times actually.’

‘What’s it really like? Jack and I are planning on doing it soon,’ Cara continued, getting more comfortable on the bed.

‘The first time is rubbish. It hurts and it’s just odd really. Then after that it’s pretty great, you’ll never look back.’

‘How much does it hurt?’ Alice asked trying to sound casual.

‘Not that you’re going to be doing it for a while,’ Lucy mocked but continued anyway, ‘it kind of stings and the stretching aches too,’ she stated as a matter of fact.

‘You never know, I might,’ Alice replied smiling.

Not going to happen…

‘Why, are you thinking of taking Steve up on his offer then?’ Ellie asked.

‘Maybe… It is my birthday this week!’ Alice tried to sound convincing, they all laughed and she joined in too. They knew her too well… she was the last person that would be rolling around in the woods with a boy.

No one wanted to go back to their own beds it was just too cold, so for the next half an hour they stayed, chatting on Alice’s bunk about sex, boys and music. Until the beam of a torch flashed quickly over their faces from the doorway.

Alice could make out his shape instantly. The muscled bulk of his shoulders. His legs slightly apart. As soon as he was near her body went into a heightened sense of alertness, she sat up straighter suddenly and her belly clenched with female awareness.

Tom.

‘Girls, you should be in your own beds and asleep. It’s late you know?’ his accent sang quietly and he moved from the door to where they were huddled.

‘I’ve just sent some of the boys back to their dorm. Looks like they were on their way down here… so there really is nothing to wait up for now,’ Mr Chambers sat on the bunk next to Alice’s and he made it look so much smaller than it already was.

His face was redder from the biting weather and he had a navy lightweight jacket over his shirt now. He looked adventurous, he looked like the kind of man that just handled stuff like bears, hurricanes, hunting and foraging for food.

‘We weren’t waiting, sir, honest. We’re just so cold. It’s far too freezing to sleep in our own beds... alone,’ Lucy fluttered her eyelashes at him.

‘Yes, well I didn’t think it would be this cold tonight, it is pretty nippy. I don’t want anyone getting hypothermia,’ he looked over at Alice and she wanted to jump out of her skin. He was sitting on a bed opposite her.

Tom, on a bed…

She wished her friends away so she could just kiss him and to hell with all the consequences and backlash. She wanted him like nothing before.

‘There are some extra blankets down at the teacher’s dorms. I’ll go and get them so you all can get warm and get some sleep tonight,’ Tom said, raising his body from the bed.

‘Alice will help, sir. She’s still dressed and has her coat on,’ Ellie offered helpfully.

‘No. No, I’ll manage. I’m big and strong,’ he joked kindly.

‘We know you are, sir,’ Lucy said regarding his body far longer than Alice was comfortable with, ‘but who will hold the torch while you carry eight big blankets through the woods in the dark, sir?’ she added flicking her hair over her shoulder.

Mr Chambers looked puzzled and a bit flustered, ‘You make a good point, young lady. Alice, would you mind?’ he mumbled as he was moved nearer to the door. He seemed uncomfortable and very much like he wanted to make a sharp exit from a room full of teenage girls.

‘Sure, that’s fine,’ she said, quickly pulling on her boots in the dark. Ellie caught her eye and flashed a smile to her best friend.

Did she know how obsessed she was with him? Was it that obvious?