The Perplexing Theft of the Jewel in the Crown (31 page)

‘Yes, sir,' said the aide.

Mallory rested his gentle eyes on Ganesha who was munching away on another idli, oblivious to his audience. There was a wistful expression on his face, as if he had been transported to another time when, as a boy, he enjoyed a life free of cares and responsibility. Then he looked up.

‘Well, Chopra, it is customary to recognise such enterprise as you have displayed with some manner of reward. Young Bomberton here will receive his accolades back home. What may England do for you?'

‘I require no reward, sir.'

‘Nevertheless, one wishes to show one's appreciation. As India is now a republic the Queen cannot name you in her New Year's Honours list. However, there is something that she wishes to offer you.'

The Commissioner slid open a drawer in his desk and took out a small ornate box. He fiddled with a catch and popped open the lid, then turned the box around.

Inside, nestled in folds of red velvet, was a medal.

Gold-plated and oval-shaped, with the Royal Cipher on one side and the words ‘Kaisar-i-Hind for Public Service in India' on the other, the medal was neatly suspended from a dark blue ribbon, also trimmed with gold.

Chopra knew that ‘Kaisar-i-Hind' meant ‘Empress of India'.

‘Queen Victoria instituted this medal in 1900,' explained Mallory. ‘It has been awarded many times to deserving citizens of your country. Although we stopped handing these out once India became independent it has not actually been discontinued.'

Chopra cleared his throat. ‘I cannot accept this medal, sir.'

A trio of lines appeared on the Commissioner's brow. ‘Now, why did I know you were going to say that?'

‘I intend no insult. But I cannot accept a medal that is named for an empress of India, for we have no empress.'

There was an awkward silence, into which Chopra heard Bomberton hiss, ‘Have you lost your marbles, man?'

‘Oh, it's quite all right, Bomberton,' said the Commissioner eventually. He cupped his chin and stared at Chopra. ‘Well, you are a man who knows his own mind. And I suppose your refusal puts you in good company. Did you know that a certain gentleman by the name of Mohandas K. Gandhi also turned down this medal?'

‘Yes, sir, I was aware of this.'

Mallory sighed. And then Ganesha, ever the curious child, reached out with his trunk and curled it around the box with its glittering toy. He trotted back towards Chopra lest the Commissioner decide to take back his gift.

Mallory laughed genteelly. ‘Well, Chopra, it seems as if the choice has been made for you.'

Chopra's face was troubled.

‘Think of it as a gift,' said the Commissioner gently. ‘A trinket from a friend to show her appreciation. Not only for the return of something very precious to her, but for the love and warmth that you and your countrymen have shown to Her Majesty during her time here. I assure you, your principles will not be compromised by accepting it.'

Chopra hesitated. Eventually, he smiled. ‘You are very persuasive, sir. I accept. Thank you.'

‘Splendid,' said the Commissioner, clapping his hands. ‘Now, how about we get back to the party so you can tell me all about how you recovered the Koh-i-Noor? One does so love a good mystery!'

 

Aam junta:
the general public / the ordinary masses

Abbu:
Islamic term for Father

Astrakhan hat:
hat with dark curly fleece of young karakul lambs from central Asia

Bajra:
black millet

Beedi:
thin Indian rolled cigarette

Betel nut:
areca nut

Bhel puri:
Mumbai's signature street food dish of puffed rice, onions, tomatoes, spices, and hot chutney and served with a tiny deep fried bread called ‘puri'

Boondi raita:
savoury dip of yogurt, spices and tiny gramflour pearls

Brinjal:
aubergine

Carrom:
‘strike and pocket' table game akin to table shuffleboard

Dahl:
lentil dish

glossary

Dhaba:
a motorway curry house diner

Dhoti:
traditional men's garment wrapped around legs and knotted at the waist

Diwali:
Hindu festival of lights

Diya:
cup-shaped terracotta oil lamp traditionally lit on Diwali

Duffer:
an incompetent or stupid person

Eidi:
gift for festival of Eid e.g. money, presents or flowers

Ghazal:
poetic form consisting of rhyming couplets and a refrain

Goonda:
thug or bully

Hajji:
Muslim person who has successfully completed the Hajj to Mecca

Hapoos:
Alphonso mango, considered ‘king of mangoes'

Hawala:
illegal method of transferring money outside of traditional banking systems

Jagirdar:
feudal landowner or landlord

Jowar:
sorghum flour

Kabuli Biryani:
traditional chickpea biryani dish from Hyderabad

Kameez:
long tunic worn by many people from South Asia, typically with a salwar

Khansama:
male cook, who often also assumes the role of house steward

Kurta:
loose collarless shirt worn usually with a salwar or pyjama

Lakh:
One hundred thousand

Lathi:
a stick / baton

Makhani:
a Hindi word meaning ‘with butter' or butter sauce

Masala movie:
a movie embodying a blend of genres

Masala sambar:
spicy lentil-based vegetable stew

Maya:
‘that which is not' (i.e. illusion)

Mawali:
Mumbai slang for lowest class of male street ruffians

Morcha:
organized march or rally

Neem:
Indian tree used for its antiseptic properties

Nukkud natak:
Indian street Play

Pajama:
a pair of loose trousers tied by a drawstring around the waist

Panchayat:
a village council in rural India

Pomfret:
popular fish found in Indian restaurants

Ram ram:
a common Hindi greeting meaning hello

Salwar:
a pair of light, loose, pleated trousers, usually tapering to a tight fit around the ankles, worn by women with a kameez (the two together being a
Sadhu – a religious ascetic or holy person)

Sarpanch:
elected head of the village council (the panchayat) in India

Shatranj:
old form of chess from which modern chess developed

Shree:
polite form of address equivalent to the English ‘Mr'

Swami:
holy ascetic initiated into a specific religious order

Thaali:
Indian steel platter with individual sections to serve a variety of dishes

Vasta waza:
Kashmiri term for a head chef

Vedji:
traditional Indian Ayurvedic medical practitioner

Yaar:
informal address, akin to addressing someone as ‘mate'

Once again this book represents a collective endeavor. So thank you, first and foremost, to my agent Euan Thorneycroft at A.M. Heath and to my tirelessly enthusiastic editor Ruth Tross at Mulholland. As I see the series move from success to success their faith now seems prophetic. A big thank you to Kerry Hood at Hodder, who has worked miracles to catapult me into mags, newspapers, radio and TV – a veritable one-woman publicity machine.

I am grateful too to others who helped improve the original manuscript. Thomas Abraham and Poulomi Chatterjee at Hachette India; Amber Burlinson, copy-editor, and Justine Taylor, in the role of proofreader.

I would also like to thank Ruth's team at Mulholland, Naomi Berwin in marketing, Laura Oliver in production, Dom Gribben in audiobooks, and Ruth's assistant Cicely Aspinall. In the US thanks go to Devi Pillai, Ellen Wright, Laura Fitzgerald and Lindsey Hall, and also Jason Bartholomew at Hodder. Similar thanks go to Euan's assistant Pippa McCarthy, and the others at A.M. Heath working hard to sprinkle the magic of this series far and wide. A thank you to Satish Garewal for voicing the audiobook.

Yet more kudos to Anna Woodbine who designed and illustrated the novel's cover, once again bringing the story to life with a flourish of her wand.

Lastly, I'd like to thank those who have helped me research this work. My wife Nirupama Khan, my friends from Mumbai, and my colleagues at UCL who not only crack me over the knuckles when I make a mistake in Chopra's crime-solving methods but have been unflagging in their support for the whole endeavor. A special thank you to my colleague Kati Carter who baked me an Inspector Chopra cake complete with icing sugar Ganesha (though his ears have subsequently fallen off – sorry, Kati!). Lastly a mention for Khurram Khan, who many years ago, when a rabid computer had swallowed an entire manuscript of an early novel – engendering in me suicidal thoughts of quitting this writing business altogether – typed up the paper draft, so that I could, and would, carry on.

Photo Credit: Nirupama Khan

Vaseem Khan first saw an elephant lumbering down the middle of the road in 1997 when he arrived in India to work as a management consultant. It was the most unusual thing he had ever encountered and served as the inspiration for the Baby Ganesh Agency series.

He returned to the UK in 2006 and now works at University College London for the Department of Security and Crime Science where he is astonished on a daily basis by the way modern science is being employed to tackle crime. Elephants are third on his list of passions, first and second being great literature and cricket, not always in that order.

The Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector Chopra

The Perplexing Theft of the Jewel in the Crown

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