The Pirates! (17 page)

‘Up late, lads,' he said, blowing a relaxed smoke ring. ‘Don't forget – even us pirates need our beauty sleep.'

‘Sorry, Captain. We were just discussing what that constellation looks like.' The pirate in green pointed at where they were looking.
The Pirate Captain craned his neck and looked up.

‘It looks just like my Prize Ham,' he said, a little sadly. The pirates all nodded in agreement.

‘Sometimes I think there's nothing a good piece of ham can't do,' said the pirate with a scarf. ‘The way that she bounced straight into the whale's blowhole. It was almost as if she were deliberately trying to sacrifice herself for you.'

‘You mean like Baby Jesus?' asked the albino pirate, wide-eyed.

‘I suppose so,' said the pirate with a scarf thoughtfully.

‘Except Baby Jesus never had a delicious honey-roast glaze, did he? So in many ways my ham was a lot better than Baby Jesus ever was,' pointed out the Pirate Captain. He took off his pirate hat and lay down next to his crew.

‘It's good to have the old boat back,' he said. ‘I don't know why I ever let you lot talk me into getting a different one.'

‘I'm glad there were too many barnacles on her for Cutlass Liz to chop her into firewood.'

‘Good old barnacles.'

‘I miss the
Lovely Emma
's swimming pool though,' said the sassy pirate.

‘And her panoramic views,' added the pirate in green.

‘But I think we learnt a lot on this adventure, Pirate Captain,' said the scarf-wearing pirate, ‘so it hasn't been a dead loss.'

‘You're right,' said the Pirate Captain, closing his eyes and listening to the quiet rumble of the ocean. ‘We learnt that getting into debt is not a matter to be taken lightly.'

‘Also, we learnt that making an extravagant gesture to impress a girl is pretty stupid,' said the albino pirate.

‘We tend to “learn” that on most adventures,' said the pirate with rickets.

‘And most importantly of all we learnt the grass might look greener in showbusiness or whaling or something like that. But that when it comes down to it, you're often better off sticking with what you know,' said the pirate with a scarf.

‘So long as what you know is kicking about the High Seas being a pirate, that is.'

‘Oh yes, the lesson wouldn't apply if you had a regular job. In fact, anybody that did would be strongly advised to give it up right now and become a pirate themselves.'

With that the pirates went downstairs to do some shantying. And they were soon enjoying themselves so much that they barely even noticed when the pirate boat's mast fell down again.

* * * * *

Like the Pirate Captain, more people than ever are getting into serious debt, with the accompanying risks of depression, worry and not being able to buy things that you want.

• If you're desperate about debt, call the National Debtline free on 0808 808 4000.

• The snappily titled Consumer Credit Counselling Service (
www.cccs.co.uk
) will help turn that debt frown upside-down by talking about budgeting and that.

Remember – no matter how bad things seem, there's always a way out. Just look at the Pirate Captain – a whale attacked his boat and he was fine in the end!

The pirates' adventure was set in the olden days, when it was all right to go whaling. But nowadays things are different – there are thought to be around 570,000 sperm whales left in the sea, down from 2,000,000 in the 1940s. If you're concerned about whales (sperm or otherwise), you can help make a difference:

• Join the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society (
www.wdcs.org
). You'll get a whale-tail sticker!

• If you see a stranded whale, call the British Divers Marine Life Rescue on 01825 765 546. If they're not in, try the RSPCA (08705 555 999) or Environment Agency (0800 807 060).
Don't
throw stuff at the stranded whale.

• Try to restrict your consumption of whale meat and ambergris to special occasions.

The pirates didn't get much of a chance to explore the historic town of Nantucket, but there's nothing to stop
you
from finding out more!

• The Nantucket Island Chamber of Commerce have loads of information about visiting the island, along with a low-resolution map and live weather updates. They also publish the official 288-page guidebook.

• The mission of the Nantucket Historical Association (
www.nha.org
) is to preserve the island's unique history and tell people about it. Pop to their website and have fun finding out more.

• Nantucket is also famous for its cranberry bogs. Why not pour yourself a cool glass of cranberry juice and sip it while thinking about harpoons?

Rob Adey, Chloe Brown, Cilla McIntosh, Rodney Brown, Sam Brown, Matt Evans, Helen Garnons-Williams, Fiona Hankey, Yvonne Kee, David Murkin, Rebecca Murkin, Claire Paterson and Brigid Way.

 

Don't forget to check out these other great titles in ‘The Pirates!' series:

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Rasputin

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Americans

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Ice Cream

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Railroads

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Green Ghost

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Village of Fear

The Pirates! In An Adventure In Tir Na Nog

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The Pirates! In An Adventure With Golems

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The Pirates Get Sexy

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Space Pirates

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Back To Pirate Academy 2, Pirate Captain!

Back To Pirate Academy 3, Pirate Captain!

Back To Pirate Academy 4, Pirate Captain!

Back To Pirate Academy 5, Pirate Captain!

Back To Pirate Academy 6, Pirate Captain!

Back To Pirate Academy 7, Pirate Captain!

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The Pirates! On Holiday

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Stock Market

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The Pirates! In An Adventure With Lingerie

The Pirates Ride Out

The Pirates Go Ape

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Your Mother

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Freemasons

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The Pirates! In Two Hours 'Til Doomsday

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The Ballad Of the Pirate Captain

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Secret

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The Pirates Have Egyptian Capers

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Triads

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Pope

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Spring-Heel Jack

The Pirates' Underwater Adventure

The Pirates and the Citadel Of Chaos

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the G.O.P.

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Tunnels

The Pirates Holiday Special

The Pirate Treasury

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Mysterious Gas

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Spectral Hands

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Mongol Hordes

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Spiders

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Black Bellamy Rides Again

Pirate vs. Pirate

The Pirates! In Mayhem Cove

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Steep Hill

The Pirates Play Dead

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Nuts

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Wasps

You Can Do It, Pirate Captain!

The Pirates' Super T-shirts

The Pirates Sleep With the Lights On

The Pirates On Halloween

The Pirates Making It

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Political Supremacy Of the Bourgeoisie

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Risk Management

The Pirates! Commit A Series Of Horrific Atrocities

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Geordies Pirate Fever!

The Pirates and the Edge Of Reason

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Public Sanitation

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Chess

The Pirates Strut Their Stuff

The Pirates! In An Adventure With An Ant

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Harlequin

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Damp Smell

The Pirates: Going Straight

The Pirates Embrace Diversity

P.I.R.A.T.E.

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The Pirates! In An Adventure With Gigolos

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Femmes Fatales

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The Moon's A Doubloon

The Pirates! In A Worker's Utopia

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Eugenics

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The Pirates! In An Adventure Down Mexico Way

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Special Olympics

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The Pirates! In An Adventure With Slum Landlords

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Bladderwrack!

The Cutlass and the Rose

The Pirates' Rainy Day Indoors

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Spies

Stone The Crows, Pirate Captain!

The Pirates Are Killing Music

Black Bellamy's Gambit

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Smugglers

The Pirates! Learn German In Five Easy Lessons

The Pirates! Shoot Horses With Cannons

This Little Pirate Went To Market

The Pirates! Run Amok

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Jungle Of Destiny

The Pirates! Fanny About On A Yacht

The Pirates! Remember the Olden Days

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Jorvik Centre

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Spelling Bee

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Disguises & Make-up

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Ponies & Riding

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Bikes

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Jennifer Garner

The Pirates! In An Adventure With The Goonies

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Foot & Mouth

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Lubbock Lake Landmark

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Maths & Numbers

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Lola Montez

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Kretzmer Syndrome

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Honey Trap

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Girls From Café Noir

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Skeletons

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Shaft The Pirates Do Dallas

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Lazy Post-modernism

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Monkey's Delight

The Pirates! In An Adventure With A Spooky Eye

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Brockwell Infants School

The Pirates! In An Adventure That Goes Wrong

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Circus Of Death

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Path Of Least Resistance

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Empire State Human

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Dignity Of Labour (Parts 1–4)

The Pirates Colouring-in Book

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Culture Of Fear

The Pirates! Build A Base In the Woods

The Pirates! In An Adventure With Unshaven Men

The Pirates! Have Been Running With Scissors Again

The Pirates! In An Adventure With the Red Hand Gang