The Pool of St. Branok (36 page)

Justin was there, smiling at Morwenna, marveling at the perfection of his new son. Everyone wanted to see and touch the baby, but Mrs. Bowles stood over him like a stern sentinel protecting him from invaders.

There was great rejoicing everywhere.

That was a perfect day.

The first thing I did next morning was to go to Morwenna’s room. Mrs. Bowles was sleeping at the house; she was going to look after Morwenna for as long as she considered it necessary. She was sleeping in a room next to what was now called the nursery.

I said that when Morwenna was well enough we would go to Melbourne and buy a cot and perambulator for the baby. I wanted to buy some toys.

Morwenna laughed at me. “He won’t be playing with many toys yet. He would like a nice furry thing to cuddle perhaps.”

I sat by her bed for most of that morning telling her how frightened we had been … how we had waited all through the night.

“You are all so wonderful to me,” she said.

“Ben Lansdon rode ten miles through the night … and ten more bringing back Dr. Field.”

“I shall never forget what he did.”

“Heaven knows what would have happened without the doctor, Morwenna. You
would
have all those complications.”

She laughed. “Justin is delighted with the baby,” she said softly.

“He is even more delighted with you,” I told her. “There was a choice, you know … at one stage the doctor said he could save your life or the child’s …”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Justin said, save you. You see, you are loved, Morwenna.”

There were tears in her eyes. “Did he really say that, Angelet?”

“Yes, he did.”

“I … sometimes wondered …”

“What?”

“Whether he truly loved me.”

“Why? Did he ever seem not to?”

“Oh no. He always said he did. But I couldn’t really believe that anyone could care like that for me.”

“You are a silly creature, Morwenna. Well, now you know.”

“I am so happy. Fancy! Here, in this place, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. Isn’t it odd? And isn’t it wonderful?”

I agreed that it was.

The news spread through the town. One-Eye’s and Cassidy’s gold had disappeared, and David Skelling with it. He must have stolen it and gone off during the revelries. No one had noticed him go and neither One-Eye nor Cassidy had missed the gold for twenty-four hours. It had taken them all day to sleep off the effects of the celebrations.

For the next day there was no talk of anything but the robbery; and then when it seemed that One-Eye and Cassidy had lost their fortunes and that David Skelling was obviously the thief, the arrival of the new baby and the difficult birth with its final happy conclusion didn’t turn their minds from the terrible fate of the two miners.

There was a great deal of marveling at the skill of the doctor and Mrs. Bowles. It was the latter’s finest hour. She was staying at Golden Hall where Morwenna was with the baby; and when she came into the town people would gather round her to hear the tale.

“It was touch and go,” she told them. “Dr. Field, he said to me, ‘Mrs. Bowles, what do you think of this?’ And I told him straight. I said, ‘It’s either her or the baby.’ And he said, ‘That’s what I’m afraid, Mrs. Bowles. But we’ll do our best.’ And we did. The Lord alone knows how we did it. We pulled them both through. I never thought we could but we did.”

I guessed the tale would be told for years to come as she weighed out the sugar and sliced the bacon.

We were all in a state of euphoria that week. Morwenna was getting better every day. Happiness was a great restorer. Mrs. Bowles was growing prouder and the baby stronger.

Morwenna had discussed the baby’s name and she decided on Pedrek. It was a good old Cornish name and it had belonged to her great-grandfather. She remembered that when she was a child she had seen it on a tombstone. She had always liked it.

There would be a christening at Walloo, where Dr. Field had his practice. There was a church there and a parson. He had come over once or twice, Mrs. Bowles told us, for funerals.

“We’ll have a christening then when he is a little older,” said Morwenna.

It had been arranged that she should stay at Ben’s house until she was stronger. Mrs. Bowles was to remain for a week or so to look after her and the baby. She darkly hinted to me that although she and the doctor had performed their miracle, there must be no going back.

I thought this wise. As for Mrs. Bowles she was delighted for while still living in a haze of glory—and she knew how quickly that could fade in spite of her efforts to keep it going—she also enjoyed living in what she called the lap of luxury.

Much to Ben’s chagrin I returned to the shack. I said there was no excuse for me to remain longer, in fact I was desperately afraid of the emotion which Ben aroused in me.

This was a time of discovery. I was learning to know people. One received an impression and judged them on that, and later was proved wrong. The fact was that people were complex beings; one could not divide them into categories—the bad and the righteous. One should never make hasty judgments or assess people on what one saw superficially.

In my innocence I had endowed Gervaise with all the knightly qualities and then I had found the feet of clay—that obsession which had changed our lives and would one day, I felt sure, ruin us.

Each day I fell more and more out of love with Gervaise and this was largely because I was falling more and more in love with Ben.

At the moment I was happy because during those moments on the stairs with Justin, I had vowed that I would give everything I had or had hoped for, if Morwenna could live and have her baby. She had her baby and she was getting stronger every day; and I was already forgetting my vow. Not only did I want happiness for her but for myself too.

I was tired of this place, of the perpetual grime, the rough living, the four walls of my dismal shed … trying to clean the place, building the fire which had to be kept going in the excessive heat because we must cook, the ration of water, insects which I had never before known existed, the ubiquitous flies. I wanted to go home … for many reasons. I wanted to see my family; I wanted to live in comfort; and I was afraid of what would happen between Ben and me if I stayed here.

He was always there. He made a point of being where I was. He was always urging me … if not with words with looks. I think he, too, wanted to go home. He seemed to be grappling with himself.

I said to him one day: “You could go home. Why do you not just leave?”

He said he had vowed not to return until he had found gold in such quantities as he knew existed somewhere under this soil.

I replied that it was folly to make such vows. He could return now. He had enough money to go back and engage in some profitable enterprise.

“If you will come with me, I will go,” he said. “Otherwise I stay. Everything is tied up here. What would my grandfather think of me if I went back without what I came for?”

“He would understand.”

“If you came back with me … yes. He would understand then.”

“Ben, I cannot go back with you. I shall always be faithful to Gervaise. I married him. I took my vows.”

“Tell me,” he said, “do you mean it?”

“I mean it absolutely.”

“Will you change your mind?”

“Never, never …”

He looked at me sadly.

“Then,” he said, “it looks as though I shall have to go ahead … here.”

“You are important here, A sort of head man.”

He laughed at that, but his laughter was hollow.

“You actually employ these people in the mine. You have your house with servants. Your life is different from all the others. Only the Motleys can compare with you.”

“I know what I want. It is to go home … to go home with you. … If I cannot have that …”

“You can’t, Ben.”

“Never?”

“I have vowed to be true to Gervaise. I shall never break that vow.”

“Then,” he said, “I must make the best of what I have. Is that what you are telling me?”

“Yes, Ben, it is. You are a very ambitious man, Ben. You can be content with what you have and what you might find here … That would console you … for us.”

“Nothing would console me,” he said. “But you are right … I must take what I can get. I will be lucky in everything … but love.”

“You will have to consider yourself fortunate to be lucky in something.”

“It is not what I want. Always remember this, Angel. It was not what I wanted.”

I felt my resistance weakening and I fought it with all my strength.

It was true that I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him. Not as I had with Gervaise which was a matter of a young girl eager to experience love and imagining it would come from the first charming man she met.

This was different. I had been drawn to Ben from the first. I had a feeling that we belonged together. I had loved Gervaise until I had discovered his weakness and I believed that whatever fresh weakness I discovered in Ben I should continue to love him. Perhaps that was the difference.

I had a suspicion that I might be going to have a baby. I thought at first that this might be because I had become so obsessed with young Pedrek.

It would surely not be surprising. I was young and healthy; so was Gervaise. Why should we not produce a child?

If we had been at home and I was still in love with Gervaise, I should have been delighted at the prospect. I could imagine the fuss there would have been. My mother … Amaryllis … taking care of me … and my child born into comfortable surroundings.

But here! This was no place to bring a child to. I had been wondering how we were going to manage when Morwenna left Golden Hall, which she would have to do soon. She would not want to be Ben’s guest forever, although he would raise no objections. How could we manage in the little shack with the baby in his cradle and the difficulty of getting fresh milk and all that was needed? I thought of all the work which would have to be done.

Women had done it before but Morwenna had to rest and I was not used to hard labor.

So … the prospect of having a child here was very different from what it would have been at home.

Ben said it was impossible for Morwenna to take the child back to the shack. She must stay where she was. Meg and Minnie were all for it. They loved having a baby in the house.

“It is only reasonable,” said Ben. “Besides, you will have to come here every day to visit her. I insist that she stay if only a little longer.”

I talked it over with Justin and Gervaise.

“It’s an excellent idea,” said Gervaise. “And why not? There are all those rooms at Golden Hall. What a lucky fellow Ben is to have got himself into such a comfortable spot!”

“He worked for it,” I said a little tartly. “He did not gamble everything away as soon as he got it.”

Justin was disappointed that Morwenna was staying on, but he knew it was best for her.

So she stayed and the baby flourished.

I was now certain that I was pregnant.

When I told Gervaise he expressed great pleasure.

“Gervaise,” I said. “I think we ought to make plans for going home.”

“Now?” he said. “After One-Eye’s and Cassidy’s find?”

“I can’t bring up a child here.”

“That’s months away. We’ll have found gold and left by the time the child comes.”

“It’s seven months, Gervaise.”

“Loads of time.”

“I don’t think so.”

He ruffled my hair and gave me his charming smile. “I promise you. We’ll go in good time.”

I sighed. As Mrs. Penlock used to say, “Some people’s promises are like pie crust. Made to be broken.” Gervaise’s promises were like that.

Beneath the charm there was selfishness. He would do what he wanted and smile affably while he did so, murmuring words of tenderness. I think I completely fell out of love with Gervaise then.

I did not tell Morwenna that I was going to have a child. I thought it would upset her. She would remember her ordeal and how she had come through it by a miracle. She would be fearful for me and I did not want any difficulties to impinge on this bout of perfect happiness she was enjoying now.

One-Eye and Cassidy had gone, on the day after the celebrations, in search of David Skelling, vowing revenge on him when they found him. They had been explicit about what they would do to him.

I talked about it with Gervaise. I said: “You see how this lust for gold arouses the evil in people. It has made a thief of David Skelling.”

“He was a thief before that … and an ex-convict, you know.”

“And if they find him, they will kill him. It will make murderers of them. Don’t you see, Gervaise? It is wrong. I feel it in this place. When I see the look in those men’s eyes. … I can’t bear it. They are all looking for gold which will make them rich overnight.”

“Overnight!” he cried. “Think of the months of hard work!”

“It’s wrong, Gervaise. I just know it. It’s worshiping the golden calf.”

“Ha!” he said, taking my chin in his hands and kissing me—a gesture which used to charm me and did so no longer.

“Yes, it is like worshiping a goddess … a golden goddess, which is fundamentally evil because the obsession makes men do evil things to earn her favors.”

“You were always fanciful, darling.”

“Gervaise,” I pleaded, “let’s go home. Let’s leave all this. Let us face what we left behind. Let us try to live within our income. I am sure Uncle Peter will not be hard on us. He will give us time to pay back what we owe him. I might ask my father to help us. I could explain the situation to him … if only I could be sure that you were not going to squander everything in this perpetual gambling.”

“Everything is going to be all right,” he said soothingly. “We are going to find gold. I’m convinced of it. It might even be tomorrow … Then we’ll go home. Our little one will be born into riches. We are going to live happily ever after.”

“Let’s not wait for the gold, Gervaise.”

“Just think what we should feel if we packed up and went and as soon as we left they came up with the richest find ever known. We’d never forgive ourselves.”