The Pool of St. Branok (38 page)

“I think he is very well cared for,” I said.

“Meg will still be there with the others.
She’ll
want all their help in running the house, that’s for certain.”

“Meg?” I said. “Why …? What …?”

Mrs. Bowles burst out laughing. “I was thinking about that Miss Morley.”

“What about her?”

“It’s clear you haven’t heard about the engagement. They say the wedding will be in a few weeks. That’s how things go out here … and Mr. Morley being not in the best of health like … I reckon he’ll be glad to pass his daughter into good hands.”

“I’m afraid I’m rather mystified, Mrs. Bowles.”

“You’re not up to date with the news. You could have knocked me down with a feather. I’ve often said it was a pity he didn’t have a wife up there … but I wouldn’t have thought of Miss Lizzie.”

I began to feel a coldness take possession of me. I could not believe what I was beginning to realize. I must be mistaken.

I said slowly: “Do you mean that Mr. Lansdon is going to marry Miss Lizzie Morley?”

“That’s about it. Well, she’s a dear, sweet thing … no harm in her. It’s just that she’s a little simple. Something went wrong soon after her birth. It was before my day,” she added regretfully, as though if she had been there, Lizzie would have been as bright as the rest of us.

“Are you sure?” I heard myself stammering. “It’s rather … unexpected.”

“I’m sure enough. Congratulated him myself, I did. He smiled and thanked me.”

Everyone in the town was talking about the engagement.

Gervaise said: “It will please old Morley. He’s devoted to that girl; and it must have been a worry to him as to what would become of her when he was gone. It’s just that she’s hardly the sort for Ben. Attraction of opposites, I suppose.”

I could not face Ben. I avoided him as far as possible. Nor did he seek me out. But I had to go to Golden Hall to see Morwenna, for I could not abruptly stop doing that. Every time I went I was afraid I should see him. I had no idea what I should say to him.

I felt his avowal of love for me had been meaningless. I had been duped into thinking it was something else. What had been his motive? The quick seduction of another man’s wife?

I realized I had led a sheltered life. I did not understand people. I made quick judgments. I had with Gervaise and consequently I had suffered because of this.

Morwenna was eager to talk of the news.

She said: “I hope he will be happy. I think he will. Lizzie is such a dear girl. She is happy … blissfully. She always adored him. I think perhaps she is the right sort for him. He is a man who will want his own way and Lizzie would never dream of questioning anything he did. She truly loves him. I have rarely seen anyone so happy. And Mr. Morley, too, he is delighted. I think he has worried a lot about leaving her. I happen to know that he is not in the best of health. He had a slight stroke some little time ago and just before we arrived, Dr. Field told him he would have to go very carefully. He came here, you know, with Lizzie and we had a long discussion. It may be that he was so overjoyed by the engagement that he was off his guard. He said, ‘I’m so glad to see my Liz settled. Ben will know how to look after her. It’s a great relief because, you know, I could pop off at any minute.’ So you see.”

“Yes, I see.”

“The wedding is going to be very soon. There is no point in waiting.”

“No point at all.”

“I expect Mr. Morley will see to that. You can understand a man in his state of health and caring as he does for his daughter … he wants to make sure everything is all right for her before he goes.”

“Yes,” I said. “He is a very good father.”

“When you are a parent you understand these things,” said Morwenna with a certain pride.

All I could think of was: How could he? He must have been contemplating this when he was attempting to become my lover.

I would never trust anyone again.

I don’t know how I lived through the next few weeks. Everything seemed unreal. Each day I awoke in the dreary little shack, Gervaise beside me. He never lost his cheerfulness. I suppose the gambler is a natural optimist and it is an indication of his nature that he can go on saying: “Perhaps this will be the day. Perhaps tonight I shall be a rich man.” And perhaps I should have applauded it. Instead it made me impatient.

On rare occasions he won at cards. Then he would say his luck had turned and it was the beginning of change. He was going to be lucky at the mine as well as at the card table.

I knew that Justin was gambling with him and I wanted to talk of this to Morwenna, but I could never bring myself to do so. In my heart I believed that Justin was every bit the gambler that Gervaise was; but it seemed to affect him differently. He never seemed to be in those financial difficulties which were always hanging over Gervaise.

No one would have suspected this. It was only those to whom Gervaise owed money who were aware of it. He treated all with that nonchalance which I had once called charm.

Perhaps I was finding fault with Gervaise because I was in love with Ben and I was telling myself that all men were deceivers. I had been deceived by Gervaise and, being the fool I was, I had allowed myself to be deceived by Ben.

Now that I had lost him, I realized how much he had meant to me … how I had somehow managed to keep my spirits up by looking to Ben as a means of escape … escape to happiness. Had he really meant he would give all this up if I would go back to England with him? How could he? When he immediately turned to someone else?

But Lizzie Morley! Oh, she was pretty enough … but how could a lively-minded man like Ben marry a girl like Lizzie?

I was in due course to learn the reason.

In the meantime there were those terrible weeks to live through, while the inhabitants of the township talked of little else but the coming wedding.

It was to be held at the Morley house and everyone was invited.

The parson from Walloo would come and perform the official ceremony. It was to take place in the garden before the house. They said that Mr. Morley had sent to Melbourne for the finest caterers and arrangers of weddings to see to everything.

There had never been such an occasion in the memory of the township.

Mrs. Bowles had her comment: “A funeral and then a wedding. I don’t know. That seems a bit funny to me. One coming so close on the heels of another. I wonder what’ll be next. Funeral most like. Can’t expect another wedding, can we? Whose would that be? Well, you never know. I mean to say, who would have thought of this?”

“Ben’s property will be joined up with Morley’s now,” said Gervaise. “Well, they are adjoining.”

Justin’s remark was: “Ben will be pleased to get a stake in Morley’s land at last. He’s been trying to buy it for some time.”

I told myself that that was why he was marrying Lizzie. It must be. He wanted the land. The thought only increased my anger against him.

During the weeks before the wedding I felt convinced that something must happen to stop it. I simply could not believe it would happen. Sometimes I thought I had dreamed the whole thing.

The day came. The weather was perfect, slightly less hot than we had been having. There was great excitement; the mines were deserted. Nobody was going to work on Ben and Lizzie’s wedding day.

Mr. Morley had engaged fiddlers to come and play. Everyone said it was the perfect wedding. Chairs had been set up in the garden in front of the house; there weren’t enough for everyone so some stood about, others squatted on the grass. There was a hushed silence when the parson from Walloo appeared and took his stand at the table which had been set up and Mr. Morley appeared with a radiant Lizzie clad in white and orange blossom. Arthur Bowles came in with Ben; and I closed my eyes as Lizzie and Ben stood together and took their vows.

I wished that I were anywhere but there; but of course I had to come. If I had stayed away people would have wondered why. And I could not feign an illness. Part of me wanted to torment myself. I wanted to see what I had been telling myself up to that moment could never be.

And so Ben and Lizzie were married.

How I longed to go home! I wanted to put this entire episode out of my life. I had been so foolish. I had believed Ben loved me: I feared that on one or two occasions I had come near to surrender. I had been childish. But I felt this betrayal had sent me hurtling into womanhood. I would never trust anyone again. I pleaded with Gervaise: “Do let us go home.”

“I have a feeling it will not be long now,” he said.

“You always say that. Gervaise, I cannot live this life.”

“I know. It’s not pleasant, is it? But be patient, darling … just for a little longer.”

“How long?”

“Till I’m lucky.”

“I somehow feel you are never going to be.”

“How can you say that? Look at Cassidy and One-Eye. They must be on their way home by now.”

“But who else, Gervaise? They are the only ones … after all this time.”

“Tomorrow it will be us.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Oh, but I do. I know that one day. … You’ll be surprised. It will all have been worthwhile.”

“I want to go home in time for the baby.”

“We’ll be home long before it comes.”

What was the use? The lure of gold held him so firmly that it would never let him go. It would always be thus. And if we were at home he would gamble as he had before we came. There was no way out.

I had married a gambler and I was no longer in love with him. I loved someone else—again unwisely and this time too well.

I wished I could have confided in Morwenna but I could not. She would never have understood. Besides, it would make her unhappy, and she was so contented now.

Lizzie had become mistress of Golden Hall. She begged Morwenna to stay.

“I suggested leaving,” Morwenna told me. “It is different now. I ought to go. I am quite well and the baby is strong and healthy. I ought to be in my own home. Lizzie flung her arms round me. She is a most affectionate creature. One can’t help loving her. It’s good to be with her, Angelet. Ben is so gentle with her and as for old Mr. Morley he has slipped into a sort of contentment.”

So Morwenna stayed on at the Hall. Justin went often to dine there. I had not been since the wedding. I supposed I should have to go one day. But not yet. The betrayal was too recent.

Then Mr. Morley died.

His servants went into his bedroom one morning and found that he had died peacefully in his sleep. It was as though, now that he was assured that Lizzie would be cared for, he had quietly departed from this life.

So Mrs. Bowles was right. There was another funeral. Poor Lizzie! She had been all in white and now she was all in black. She had been devoted to her father and now, from complete bliss, she had been dashed into sorrow.

“I am so glad Ben is with her,” said Morwenna. “He is a great comfort to her.”

A message came to me from Ben by way of Morwenna.

She said to me: “Ben asked how you were. He said he had not seen you for some time.”

“Oh … no, I suppose not,” I replied.

“He said that it was a long time since you had ridden. He wants you to know that Foxey is always at your disposal.”

“I don’t get time,” I said shortly.

Morwenna said: “I feel so guilty living here. I ought to come home.”

“Home! Oh, you mean the shack. Don’t be a fool, Morwenna. How could Pedrek live in such a place? You have to stay there for his sake.”

“That’s what I tell myself, but I feel I’m cheating really. Angelet, I don’t know how you stand it. I wish you could come to Golden Hall.”

“How could I?”

“I am sure Lizzie would love to have you.”

“What? As a permanent guest?”

“It just makes me feel guilty. And there is Justin … I should be with him.”

“He is glad you are there. He knows it is best for you.”

“How I wish they could find enough gold to satisfy them and we could go home.”

“Home!” I said wistfully. But I was beginning to believe that I should be no happier there than here. I had been foolish. I had believed him. I had allowed myself to be caught in a snare and now I was trapped.

Then suddenly it all became clear to me.

I received the news, as usual, through Mrs. Bowles.

“You’ve heard, of course.”

“Heard what?” I asked.

“The find.”

“Find? Whose?”

“Gold. On Morley’s land. Well, it’s Ben’s and Lizzie’s now. They say that it’s already something bigger than anything that’s been known before throughout the length and breadth of Australia.”

“On Morley’s land?” I stammered.

“Yes. Do you know that creek … not so far from the house …”

The creek on Morley’s land. Memories came back … sitting there talking to Ben … listening to his avowal of love, watching the sunlight playing on the water of the creek.

“I … yes, I know.”

“Well, that’s where it is. Mr. Ben found it. It’s like that time in fifty-one when that man found six hundred ounces in a day in Ballarat. It was there in the creek … right on the surface … clear as daylight and no one seeing it till Mr. Ben came along. Trust him. Well, it’s a fortune for him now. I don’t reckon he’ll be here long. He’ll be off Home, that’s what.”

It was all becoming clear to me. This was why he had married Lizzie. He had discovered gold in the creek and from then on he had determined it should be his, no matter how he acquired it. What was there to choose between him and Gervaise? They were both the slaves to their Golden Goddess.

It eased my anger against myself, although it increased it towards him. I had been foolish but I could tell myself I had been fortunate in a way. Suppose I had succumbed, and only now I knew how near I had been to doing so … and then I had learned that I had linked my life with another gambler … a different kind it was true, a ruthless, successful one—but the motive was the same.

These men cared first for gold. Everything else came after that.

I heard myself saying to Mrs. Bowles that it was great good fortune.

I could not resist strolling up to the creek.

There were signs of activity. Shafts had already been set up. The peaceful scene was no more. It seemed a long time ago that I had sat there and he had told me he loved me.